Chapter Thirty-One

Caliegh's POV

Being constantly happy is really scary. You have no idea (unless you're one of those people who is always happy). I'd always hated having boyfriends in the past, so I was never usually enthusiastic when I got another one. I never saw the point in them, either. Oh, wow. We're dating. I would always think. What now?

However, Matthew was…different. I figured it'd be the same as all my other boyfriends: the first few weeks I'd be fangirling and in a stage of pure ecstasy, and the next I'd be sulking and not enjoying anything about being taken. But that wasn't at all how it went. After the kiss we'd shared outside, I had never even thought of going back and regretting having Matthew as my boyfriend.

And I'm still not past the ecstasy.

When I skipped into the dining hall several weeks later and sat at our rectangular table in my quite unflagging way, my sister gave me an absolute humorous look. She still hadn't gotten used to my elated mood, even though she's known that we've been dating since like, a week ago.

"Oy, cheer up." I pinched her cheek, sliding into my seat next to Matthew. He gave me a look of genuine adoration, sliding his hand into mine when I sat. Gabby, however, kinda quirked an eyebrow at me and leaned into Alfred, who practically force-fed her a French fry (even though she still ate it and said, "Thanks, babe!").

I glanced at Gilbert, who was poking at his plate of thinly sliced potatoes with an unenthusiastic, uncharacteristic look on his face. He looked up at me, his bright red eyes lacking any sort of emotion. "You know-" he started, but was cut off by Francis.

"Bonjour, you all!" He chimed. Francis was ready for Christmas to come; according to Spain and Gilbert, he loved the romance that was all around during the holiday seasons. So when he immediately turned his gaze to the two couples at the table, we weren't shocked at what came out of his mouth next. "So what're you all doing for Christmas?" He winked. Alfred dramatically looked at Gabby.

"Well. Don't even get me started on what I'm gonna do to this little hottie…" He grinned, gaining a snicker from Francis.

"Have fun with that one, Gabrielle." Gabby's face flushed at the sound of her full name; she really hated it. "And what about you lovely little things?" He turned to face me and Matthew. Only Matthew wasn't necessarily paying attention, so he jumped slightly.

"Hm? What about us?"

"What are you two doing for Christmas? Go on a date, play in the snow, have sex?" Matthew's cheeks flushed, flustered.

"Francis, don't you think it's a bit too early for that?"

"Eh bien, vous êtes tous les deux si évidemment dans l'amour..."

"Je ne veux pas avoir des relations sexuelles!"

"Whatever you say, Mathieu~!" Matthew huffed, pouting slightly. I giggled to myself. He was impossibly cute whenever he made that face.

"Can you two at least kiss for us?" Antonio piped up, suddenly conscious of the content of the conversation. Francis gasped in agreement.

"Oh, oui. Please?" I slowly turned to Matthew, smiling a little. He opened his mouth slightly, closed it, and leaned forward slightly. His lips quickly met mine, and everyone at the table had their own series of squeals, "ooh"s, and "aww"s. Except one person.

Except Gilbert.

Something flashed in his eyes as he watched us, and he sighed to himself. He muttered something under his breath, and I immediately felt guilty. Did I do something to upset him? It was a little out of character. To me it seemed that we had flipped personalities, with him being the phlegmatic one and me being the witty one. It was definitely off, like this was some sort of alternate universe. Antonio stopped cooing for a moment, poking Gilbert in the shoulder. He whispered something in Gilbert's ear, grinned, then frowned when he saw his friend wasn't responding. It really worried me. If something was bothering him this much…

My attention snapped away when I noticed Alfred had kissed Gabby, but their kiss was a little more…rough and lengthy. Since they've been together for a good while now, they were ready to step it up a notch. So more often than not, I'd find them in public places, happily locking lips and quite possibly wrestling tongues. But the thought of that makes me cringe, so I choose not to think about it.

Gilbert stood up from the table. "I have to go to the office." He only said that before taking his tray away, and leaving the hall without any other word. Silence settled among us (including Gabby and Alfred, who finally pulled back for air).

"Am I the only one who found his attitude suspicious?" I chimed. Antonio's eyes widened.

"I did, too! Do you know what he said earlier?" I shook my head. "He said, 'And you two are the reason I drink.' Crazy, si?!" I paused, pondering for a moment.

"Wait, seriously?" Antonio's usual cheery grin faded, replaced with an all-serious expression.

"I've never seen him so depressed, and I've known him since third grade."

"I've only seen him like this once," Matthew whispered. "It was scary. He wouldn't speak or eat, he nearly starved himself." All remnants of my exultant attitude were whisked away at that comment.

"When was this?"

"Eighth grade." …Eighth grade. About the same time I had gone into a mode of fierce depression as well. I had never starved myself purposefully, but I remember times when I would skip breakfast and sometimes lunch, and hardly getting any sleep the previous nights was common. It was the time where everyone felt the need to have a sense of belonging; though I had a feeling Gilbert wasn't the type to feel that. I wasn't, either. That often caused a sick and twisted feeling of loneliness, which just replaced the want to belong.

The table was silent for the rest of the period, none of us willing to discuss any further.

O~O~O~O~O~O

I pretty much sulked my way to the classroom where the Magic Club was held. I felt like I was floating, but not in the good way whatsoever. I was just hoping that seeing Vasilica or Arthur could help cheer me up, since they always managed to somehow do that in the past. I clicked open the door, saluted them with a silent wave, then sat in my chair closest to the window.

…Something seemed off. The atmosphere was way too awkward for my liking.

Arthur cleared his throat. "Hello, Caliegh. I'm sure you've met Lukas?" It felt like the gears in my brain totally shut down, like they all went on emergency shut-down. I glanced up. Sure enough, there he was. Lukas Bondevik, still gorgeous as ever, sitting at the other end of the table with his head perched in his palm.

"Hei, Kay." Oh, goodness, he rhymed my name. I wiggled my fingers at him in a little wave.

"Yah...'ey, you." I coughed into my fist. What could make this better?

"Oooh, that's awkward. Didn't you two date?" Vasilica spoke. I simply nodded, shaking off the question. I noticed Gabby wasn't here yet. She probably wasn't coming, and instead was with Alfred in the dorms…

"No Gabby today? Alright. Mind writing that for me, 'Silica?" Arthur pointed to the thick binder on the desk with all the club's information, and Vasilica immediately took a dramatic dive for it, causing it to tumble right onto the ground. Arthur looked down at him, raising his thick eyebrows at the Romanian.

"Hey, Artie." He waved up at him. He got up from the ground, flashing a grin at me. I only gave him a blank look back, which caused him to frown slightly and turn to the notebook. "Why is this club so depressing? Can't we have some fun?" He did a short little dance, which did get a little smile out of Arthur.

"Okay, that's enough." They both sat, Arthur beside Lukas and Vasilica beside me. "So I was thinking," Arthur started, "that maybe we should all get to know each other."

"Seems like a fine idea to me." Lukas deadpanned. I nodded in agreement, and a short "da" was heard from Vasilica.

"How?" I tilted my head to one side. I wasn't good at this…

"Just, answer questions. Alright, let's start with basics. How many siblings do you all have?" Arthur questioned.

"One." He was talking about Emil.

"Una!" Vasilica held up one finger. Well that was new.

"Um…" I counted on my fingers as I spoke. "Four…?" Arthur nodded.

"Right, then. I have six…"

"Can any of you see spiritual creatures?" Lukas said, glancing around. Arthur raised his hand.

"My fairies, of course." Lukas nodded, then looked at me and Vasilica. We both shook our heads. I wished I could see the fairies…

"Alright, who's your favorite singer or band?" Vasilica said, perching his head in his hands.

"It's a hard decision between Alexander Rybak and Sleeping with Sirens." I muttered more to myself than them. I felt Lukas's gaze turn to me.

"Yes, Alexander Rybak…" Lukas agreed. I glanced away.

"I, personally, find Cezar to be amazing. You know, the guy on Eurovision 2013 for Romania?" I held back a laugh. Okay, Vasilica.

"One Direction, I have to say." Arthur shrugged, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. We all sat in silence for a few moments.

"Any…pets?" I suggested with a shrug.

"Unless my Flying Mint Bunny counts." Arthur looked at me. Okay, he must've been drunk or something, because that sounded like it'd be the name to a Pokemon or something…but no. He was completely serious, asking if it counted.

"Um…sure." Once again, the club went silent, the awkward air settling around us. "This is getting us nowhere." I said after a while.

"The silence is killing me." Vasilica hummed to himself, only proving that he couldn't take the silence much longer. Lukas stood up from his seat.

"Well, if we're not going to do anything, then I'll be off. I have a composition I would like to practice." And off he went on his merry little way to play his violin. At the same time he was leaving the room, Gabby came in looking rather disheveled.

"Sorry I'm late…!" She took a seat where Lukas just was. "I was just…" She paused.

"Making out with Alfred, yes, yes. Nothing new." I muttered. Arthur narrowed his eyes just the slightest and opened to the attendance sheet, crossing out the "A" he had put next to her name. I shook my head slightly. Honestly, that was no reason to be late. She had after the club to do those sorts of things.

"You…still upset about Gilbert?" She looked at me. I shook my head, forcing a small smile.

"No, I'm fine." In truth, I totally was not fine. The guilt of seeing him like that was almost making my chest hurt, and I didn't understand why. It's not like I liked him as any more than a friend or whatever, so it couldn't be that. But the way he looked at me, and started to say something…It was obvious some internal war was going through Gilbert's head about the situation. I just didn't know what it was. And why did he have to go to the office? Counseling, perhaps? Deep down somewhere, I hoped it was. So he could feel better.

I never did find out what he was trying to tell me.