don't think i said this earlier, but i hope everyone is having an awesome holiday!
18 Harrys POV
"T-Tommy!" Danny cried into my shoulder, he couldn't even look at the body on the table. "I know Dan, I know. I'm sorry." I sighed, tonight was going to be a very long night, I could tell. "I'm so sorry for your loss, I really am, he seemed like a dear friend to you." The doctor frowned, making sure the bodies slit wrists were covered up. "I-Its not him, I-Its not T-Tom!" I whimpered, the body looked like Tom, but surely it wasn't? Surely he hadn't committed suicide, surely, he was mentally ill, but he wasn't that ill, was he? "what do you mean?" the doctor asked, looking curious. "I-It looks like Tom, b-but it can't b-be him! H-he isn't that I-Ill, he w-wouldn't do that!" I stuttered, trying so hard to cling to the hope that this wasn't Tom, this wasn't our Tom.
"well, how can you be sure? Does he have any tattoos or any distinguishing features we can check for?" the doctor gestured to the body, and we all had the same idea. "his star tattoos!" all of us shouted, remembering the tattoo on his chest and foot, that had been there for the past 7 years. I rushed to explain there was one on his chest, not wanting to actually look myself, in case it was actually Tom.
Both Danny and Dougie whimpered as the sheet was pulled down a little further, showing us the...tattoo free chest! It wasn't Tom! Tom was still alive! "its not Tom! He's alive! He's alive! Toms still alive!" Danny squealed and jumped a foot in the air, landing on me and making me hold him up. "I-Its not him?" Dougie whispered, and I realised he hadn't moved his head from my shoulder yet, so he hadn't seen. "no, its not Dougs, its not Tom. Toms alive, and out there somewhere!" I confirmed for him, feeling him start crying even more, at least they were happy tears this time.
We went home and flopped onto the sofa, feeling relieved, knowing it hadn't been Tom. It would have been good to know where he was, but crippling to know we wouldn't see him again, so I was so glad that Tom was actually alive. But I wanted to know where he was now, just to make sure he was okay, and to put Danny and Dougie out of their misery. Danny was falling deeper and deeper into depression, tearing himself apart in sorrow, blaming himself completely for the disappearance, he was falling to pieces on the inside. And poor Dougie was worrying himself sick, crying himself to sleep every night we were alone, whimpering for his best friend to come home, so he could hold him and make sure he was okay. No matter how many times I told him that Tom was okay, and just a little bit messed up in the head, he didn't believe me. Dougie always had to touch and physically see that everything was okay before he believed anything. I just wished Tom would come home, so he was safe, and to show both Danny and Dougie that everything was actually okay, and that Tom was going to be okay, then convince myself that it would be.
19 Dougies POV
That night, Danny let me take home one of Toms other toys, so I could cuddle it tonight, I just wanted to feel closer to my best friend, and this was the only way I could think of. As soon as I got into bed with Harry, I curled up to him and almost buried myself inside him, wanting to hide from the days events. For an hour, I thought Tom was dead, I had thought my best friend was dead, and I couldn't take the thought of that.
"shhh Dougie, shhh, its all okay. Toms still alive, he's somewhere out there, and we're going to find him." Harry whispered, kissing my hair. "I-I thought he h-had died!" I cried, gripping both him and the toy I had borrowed, not even wanting to imagine what life would be like without Tom, it was bad enough he wasn't here right now, if he died, I wouldn't be able to cope. "I know you did, we all did, but it wasn't him. It wasn't our Tom, you saw, he just looked like Tom, there wasn't a tattoo, so it couldn't be him." Harry promised, squeezing my body close. "please, don't you dare ever run off like Tom has. I'll kill you myself!" I warned, trying to grab hold of his tshirt, forgetting about him taking it off earlier.
"I won't Dougs, I would never even think about running off like that. I wouldn't ever worry you like that, and I would never want to feel your wrath!" Harry tried to joke unsuccessfully, grabbing my hand, kissing it. "don't even joke at a time like this. Not until Tom is back! How can you be joking right now?" I whimpered, nuzzling more into his chest, gripping his hand. "I'm only trying to cheer you up Dougs, I hate seeing you so upset, you haven't smiled or laughed in 7 months. You have no idea what that does to me. I'm sorry, I just want to see you happy." Harry sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I'll be happy when Toms back and okay. Thats if he ever comes back." I whimpered the last part, needing to see Tom so badly now, just to hold him and tell him that he'll be okay, that we all loved him so much, he never ruined anything.
I spent my whole night awake, tossing and turning, scared to fall asleep and have another nightmare about the morgue. I had been having the same nightmare for over a week, waking up screaming every time, thinking that it had been real. I had to sternly remind myself that Tom was still out there, waiting to be found, and not in the morgue. Though, what if he was? Or had no-one found him yet and he was laying in a ditch somewhere, surrounded by his own blood? What if we never found him, and he died, without us even knowing, still thinking he was unwanted? He couldn't die like that, he just couldn't, he had to survive, had to know that we loved him!