A/N: So...yeah. Okay, read on. :)

Betad by Michelle Renker Rhodes

Most characters belong to S. Meyer. Major plotline belongs to J. Austen. The rest is me.

A&A Ch. 32 (P&P Ch. 57 – 58)

For the past couple of hours, since Senator De Volturi's departure, Bella's mind and heart had been in turmoil.

She tossed and turned in her bed, trying not to think, but it was no use. The fact that that the Senator had actually taken the long drive from Seattle to Forks simply to ensure that there was no romantic relationship between Bella and Edward was driving her insane.

Bella could imagine the conversation that had taken place around the Senator's grand dining room table the previous night: Jake feeding the Senator all the information he'd just himself gleaned and adding a few juicy bits of his own for good measure. She could picture the indignation on the Senator's face, exactly like the indignation and loathing in her expression when she'd faced Bella. And what was worse, Bella would've bet her life that the Senator hadn't simply returned to Seattle after her confrontation with Bella with her tail tucked between her legs, but had probably gone on to Netherfield Estate to accost her nephew and have him refute the gossip personally, since Bella had refused to do so.

Bella's entire being burned with embarrassment and mortification. She covered her face with the pillow, trying to suffocate the images circling around her head of Senator De Volturi repeating to Edward all the things Jake must've said to her. If Edward hadn't already been decided against a relationship with Bella, this would certainly do the trick.

And with that final, heartbreaking thought, Bella realized that though it was barely five in the morning, there was no way in hell that she'd be getting any sleep. If she did, it would probably be full of nightmares. Even after removing the useless pillow from her face, she felt asphyxiated, the air around her thick and heavy, stealing every breath from her lungs. She couldn't stay under this roof one morning longer.

In a few months, she'd be graduating and moving off to New York City with Alice and Emmett, to attend grad school. Yes, being in the same city as Edward without being with him would be painful, but at least it was a city large enough where he could easily avoid her if he wanted to. It was this thought that finally opened up her lungs again, that lifted the heaviness from her chest and mind. Bella had outgrown Forks and its inhabitants. She had to get away from her mother's thoughtlessness and her father's impotence, even if she'd never have Edward. If he could harden his heart towards her, then she'd have to do the same. And perhaps with time, she'd actually learn to forget him…

With a sigh, Bella threw off her covers and got out of bed. Quietly, she crept to the bathroom she shared with Alice, brushed her teeth and hair and gave her face a quick wash. She looked into the mirror and frowned at her reflection: dark circles under her eyes, wild hair despite the comb, skin sallow and pale.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. No, she wouldn't wallow in misery and self-pity; that's not who Bella was. Her heart was broken, but she'd recover. Eventually, she'd take care of her appearance, sleep better and feel better, but for today, Bella would allow herself to mourn what she'd almost had and then lost.

Her bag had been packed the night before, and so all that was left was to say good-bye to Alice, who was still asleep in her own bed.

She shook her sister softly. When Alice opened her eyes, she gave Bella a frown of concern.

"Is everything okay, Bella?"

"Everything is fine," Bella reassured Alice with a smile. "I'm just heading back to school."

"Why so early?" Alice asked. "Bella, wait a few hours. We can go have breakfast in town with Emmett," she offered, knowing that Bella wouldn't be in the mood to see their mother or cousins at all today.

Bella shook her head. "I think I'd better just go."

"Bella, I know you're upset. Mom shouldn't have said what she said to Sue. I'll speak to Jasper and see if he can let Edward know that you had nothing to do with the garbage Mom apparently-"

Bella shook her head more vehemently this time. "No, it's okay, Alice. I'm not concerned that Edward would think I'd actually ever…" – she exhaled – "Look, I just have to be alone for a while, alright? You and Emmett have a great trip back to New York. Tell him I love him, and I'll call you both soon."

Alice was going to protest and try to convince her sister to stay longer, but they'd been each other's best friends since birth. She knew that when Bella was determined, she didn't usually change her mind. And she knew that though Bella wasn't prone to irritation or melancholy, on the rare occasions when she was in one of those moods and needed to be alone, it was best to leave her so.

"Alright," Alice smiled tenderly. "Drive safe and call me when you reach Seattle, okay?"

Bella nodded and reached out to hug her sister. "I'll miss you."

"You'll be coming to New York yourself in a few months. We'll have a great time together there."

Bella snorted. "Oh yeah. I'm really looking forward to being the third wheel between you and Jasper," she joked.

"You could never be a third wheel."

And with smiles and withheld tears on both ends, Bella picked up her bag and left their room.

OOOOOOOOOO

The winter air was crisp and cool when Bella stepped outside. Her breath swirled in front of her, and she pulled her hood over her head to keep the chill away. The only hint of the approaching dawn was in the faint streak of burgundy running vertically far in the distance. The little bit of light it provided illuminated the thick fog that hung in the air. Bella squinted through the haze and darkness as she walked to her car, the early morning breeze making her shiver.

When Bella saw a dark shadow walking her way through the murky mist, she startled, until the smokey gloom slowly parted around the figure, revealing a tall, lean frame, an anxious yet beautiful face, and green eyes that shone through the dimness all around them.

Bella stood frozen. Her shocked eyes took in a clearly distressed Edward dressed in a black hoodie and what appeared to be checkered pajama bottoms.

"Bella," he breathed, coming to a stop a couple of short feet away from her. His chest heaved, breathing long and labored.

"Edward, what are you doing here?"

"I…I was trying to wait until sunrise…"

For what to Bella felt like an endless moment, the two simply stood there, gazes locked on one another yet silent. Bella's tired and tumultuous mind wracked itself for something to say, but there were so many things running through her head, and Edward's intense gaze made her all the more nervous. She could only imagine what he was thinking: about what his aunt had obviously already told him, about the shame he'd had to go through to find Mike and her cousin.

"I'm…going back to school."

He swallowed thickly and nodded, but didn't break his silence.

Bella's heart raced in her chest. "Edward, I've been meaning to thank you," she began, unsure as to what she was saying, only knowing that she had to say something. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I need to thank you for the huge way in which you helped us a few days ago, by finding Jessica and…and everything else you did afterwards. Ever since I found out, I've been dying to let you know how grateful I am. And if the rest of my family knew how much we owe you, I'm sure they'd be just as grateful."

Edward's anxious demeanor slowly morphed into a grimace full of pain. He dropped his head and shoulders, shaking the former back and forth slowly, and snorted.

"From the moment I walked into your house the other day, I could tell that you knew, but I hoped…" He sighed heavily and lifted his head again, eyes full of a torment Bella couldn't understand. "I'm sorry, Bella, that you were ever informed of something which apparently makes you think that you owe me. I'd hoped that Emmett would've been more trustworthy than that."

Bella frowned. "Don't blame Emmett. Jessica was the first to tell me of your involvement, and well, I think by now you know me well enough to know that I couldn't rest after that until I got all the details from Emmett." She smiled sheepishly. "So I'll thank you again and again in the name of my family, for that compassion that induced you to go through so much trouble and deal with someone whom I know it must've been difficult for you to-"

"Stop," Edward pleaded. The frustration in his voice made Bella gasp. "I don't want your gratitude, Bella, but if you insist on giving it, let it be from you and you alone. I won't try to deny that making you happy was one of the main reasons why I did what I did, but your family doesn't owe me a thing. As much as I respect them, Bella, when I went looking for Mike and your cousin, I was only thinking of you."

Bella let her bag drop from her shoulder. She drew in a few uneven breaths, exhaling them through narrowed lips.

Edward then took a couple of steps closer, so close that Bella had to lift her head up to hold his gaze.

"But I don't want your gratitude, Bella, I've never wanted that from you."

"What do you want then, Edward?" Bella whispered shakily. "Be clear with me. What do you want?"

Spurred on by the impish sparkle in her eyes, by the heat emanating from her, Edward took another step closer so that Bella's sweet exhalations washed over him. He dared raise a hand and wrapped his fingers around a few strands of hair that had come loose from Bella's ponytail, making her shiver in surprise and yearn for more of his touch.

Edward quirked a brow. "You want me to be clear with you? I meant to be clear with you last week, in Ithaca, but then this whole disaster happened and…when I walked into your house the other day, I could tell you knew more than you should've. Bella, I didn't want your feelings towards me to be based on gratitude," he said, his voice low and hoarse. "If you were to ever develop any feelings towards me, if you were to ever feel even a fraction of the love I feel for you," he blurted, making Bella feel as if the world were spinning before her, "I wanted it to be based on the man you were getting to know rather than on my simply having corrected the wrongs I did to you and your family in the past."

In that moment, there was so much Bella wanted to say, but she was absolutely, positively speechless, so she let him go on.

Edward grinned softly. He cupped her jaw, caressing her face gently with the pad of his thumb.

"My Aunt was correct about one thing. You, Bella Swan, have bewitched me body and soul, and I…" – he swallowed thickly – "I love you more than I could've ever imagined loving someone in my life. You're too good to play games with me, Bella; of course I know that. So please, now it's your turn to be clear with me. If you can't ever see yourself feeling even the slightest fraction of what I've just expressed to you, if your feelings towards me haven't changed since the fall, please tell me right away. My feelings and wishes have only grown stronger, but just say the word, and I'll never bother you again."

He waited, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.

A languid, easy smile spread across Bella's face, making Edward draw in a few, unsteady breaths to calm himself. But encouraged by her teasing smile and by the fact that she hadn't once again turned him away, he closed every bit of space between them so that they stood chest to chest, so that she could feel how she made his heart race.

Bella felt it, and in turn it gave her the courage to find her words.

"Do you want me to be clear with you now?" she asked playfully.

Edward grinned and nodded, stroking her face with his fingers.

Bella reached up and getting on her tip toes, wound her arms around his neck, clasping her hands together at his nape, gently playing with the short hairs there. Edward quickly wrapped his arms around her small waist.

"You want to know if I could ever feel for you even a fraction of what you feel for me?"

"Yes, I would."

Bella could feel his body trembling against her own, just as much as hers was.

"Do you feel that?" Bella pressed her chest deeper into his. "That's because I'm so in love with you that just being in your arms makes me shudder. I can't even think straight enough to say much more than that – and you know that I'm usually a very wordy chick."

Edward chuckled heartily, his green eyes sparkling with undisguised joy, and gazed at her in adoration for one long moment before dipping his mouth to hers. He kissed her hungrily, moaning into her mouth as he parted her lips with his tongue.

And there they stood, wrapped around each other while the cool, winter sun finally broke through the haze. But Bella and Edward were on fire, completely oblivious to the chill in the morning air, or to any of their surroundings. After a while, he dropped his hands to her bottom and lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his thighs.

"Moving fast here aren't we, Mr. Cullen?" she chuckled against his mouth.

Edward grinned, biting her bottom lip and making her squeal in delight. She reveled in the pure, unadulterated happiness emanating from him and could barely believe how it made him impossibly more beautiful than he already was.

"I don't want your legs to get tired," he murmured.

"Mmm, what a gentleman."

But then he swiped his tongue into her mouth again and silenced her teasing.

It wasn't until Bella heard a loud gasp coming from her house that she opened her eyes again. Mouth still moving with Edward's, she snuck a peek over his shoulder and found her family gathered around the door, staring at Edward and her and their early morning display. The gasp hadn't come from Emmett or Alice, because they were both laughing, or from her Dad, because though he was frowning, his mustache twitched with amusement. And Jessica and Lauren were giggling with each other. It had been Renee, who now had her mouth hanging wide open; her eyes bulged in complete shock.

"Damn it," Bella muttered quietly, pulling away and dropping her head. She tried to disentangle herself from Edward, but he wouldn't let go.

"Edward, my mom is watching us," she explained, struggling to loosen herself from his hold, "and if we keep putting on this show for her, by the end of the day she'll have everyone she knows believing we're engaged."

"Will she now?" Edward grinned impishly; a grin that Bella was beginning to love as much as she loved its owner.

And with that, Edward pulled Bella in impossibly closer, making her draw in a sharp breath of surprise. He splayed his large hands across her entire bottom and tightened his grip. And the way he crashed his mouth to Bella's and proceeded to kiss her managed to make even Renee blush.

It was a long while before either came up for air.

A/N: **Sigh** Hot make-out session with Darcyward.

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