El-Poynter - well we'll have to wait and see :P

xxPUDDxx - its alright, as long as when you read, you enjoy! :D and thank you very much!

44 Toms POV

I lay still on the bed staring at the ceiling, counting all the cracks in it, watching a stain grow in front of my eyes. I had stopped crying now, and had been left on my own again by the nurse, after she had bandaged up my arm and made sure I couldn't get my hands on anything sharp. My hand was casually scratching my arm, I didn't need a sharp object to hurt myself with, I just needed my long nails.

"dinner time Tom! Now, what do you want to have?" the 'nice' nurse from earlier walked in, carrying a trolley with two different meals on. One was some sort of pie, and the other was roast dinner. My stomach rumbled loudly, growling at me to 'eat them both' while my head screamed at me to not even touch that! I still needed punishing properly for being found, and since I had nothing sharp, hungry strike was going to have to do. "I'm not hungry." I mumbled, chucking the blanket Danny had given me over my head. "I heard your stomach growl from here, and I know you haven't eaten well for a year, you need food. So come out from under there and tell me which meal you want." The nurses tone went from quite polite to harsh, she had already worked out that I was going to refuse everything she told me to do to the bitter end, until she gave up and went on to someone else. I wasn't trying to annoy her, I was just trying to stop her from wasting her time on me, when I didn't want or need it.

"neither, like I said, I'm not hungry." I grabbed my stomach as it growled loudly at me again, protesting against my words. "liar, you need to eat, badly, if you refuse, I will just force feed you." Now there was an idea, that would hurt, a lot, wouldn't it? But, I didn't want to bother even more people, so I couldn't risk it. "fine, roast dinner." I sighed and gave in, I wasn't going to actually eat it, I was going to stare at it for a while, then chuck it down the toilet. "thank you for giving in, here you go. I'll be back in a while to take the plate again and then its bed time." The nurse gave me the plate, and walked out. As soon as she was out of ear shot, I shoved it right to the end of the bed, glaring at it, willing myself to not give in, I was not going to eat until I deserved it.

I had to get rid of the guilt from all my mistakes, I had to, and this was the only way, I was being punished, and that got rid of some of that guilt. Not all of it, but some of it at least. I just wanted to be good, and to not hurt anybody, or force them to do things they didn't want to do just for my sake. Its not like I was doing it on purpose, I didn't even realise that I was being so annoying until about 15 months ago, when I realised how much time Danny, Harry and Dougie spent talking together, without me. How much more fun they had without me, and generally how happy Danny was without me, he was more distanced from me, and only made half - meant attempts at getting me to talk to him. I had just put two and two together and got the right answer, I was annoying, and only got to stick around because I could write songs and come up with good answers during interviews.

It had been fine just hanging about for a month before I started seeing everything more clearly, and how my mental illnesses messed everything up, so I planned to run away, I would have done it sooner if I hadn't been too chicken to do it. This time around, I was going to try and keep the guys away for as much as possible until I found the opportunity to run off, and this time I would be better at it, I was going to manage it this time, and not get caught.

45 Dannys POV

The next morning, I literally ran through the corridors, carrying the now fixed Mickey Mouse, and a bag with clothes and books for Tom. It weighed a tonne, but I didn't let that stop me from running to my long lost lover. I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached his room, seeing him sleeping soundly, curled up on his side in the bed, underneath the blanket I had given him yesterday. "aww, hey baby, I'm here now, okay? You sleep tight for me, I'll be here when you wake up!" I whispered, my heart melting at the sight of Tom looking so peaceful.

"aw, he's sleeping!" Dougie giggled, bending down so both him and Harry were sitting next to me on the floor. "yeah, he's all tired out. He deserves some sleep now. Now don't think I'm a freak or something, but I'm going to sit here and watch him like this until he wakes up." I had to resist stroking Toms face, I had missed being able to touch him, watch him sleep, hear him speak, and just being able to be with Tom. His presence was always such a comfort for me, because in my mind, if Tom was there, then everything was going to be okay. I had missed having that feeling constantly, and I was going to enjoy it for as long as I could.

"Tom isn't going to wake up for a while, we gave him a sleeping drug at around 3am this morning, he's going to be out of it for a while." A nurse walked in, checking charts, and monitors. "why did you sent him asleep at 3am?" I asked, not even looking at her, just looking at my Tom. "he couldn't sleep, so we gave him something to help him along. And don't worry, its not that deep, so he might be able to hear you." She smiled, and walked out. "okay, so that means he's not gunna wake up for a while..." the idea struck me, and I quickly stroked a hand over Toms cheek.

"oh god that feels good." I grinned, stroking his cheek and hair, it was addictive. "your hair is so soft Tom, its like wheat, and its the best hair I've ever seen. I love your hair." I whispered, grinning like a maniac, pushing Toms hair around his head, tucking his long hair behind his ear, quite shocked it almost reached his chin.