A.N.: Wow, two chapters in a day? Must be some sort of record. Keep in mind I publish as soon as I finish a chapter. If this chapter isn't my best or hard to understand, I apologize. I want to show Athena's weak side. I am writing from my experiences when I'm sad. After all, Athena is based on myself. Athena is only eleven, so she's a bit more childlike than myself, and I want to show her weakness as a child. Just tell me if you don't like the chapter. I know it's different, but it's important to the story and her character.

TARDISRose: I love reading your reviews! Keep them coming! I'm glad you love Athena and the story! That's really sweet of you to say! (I really hope you like this chapter. I'm so worried my readers won't.)

Chapter 7: Some Sort of Soliloquy

I hate my role in society. I'm supposed to condone killing innocent children. It's my duty as a Capitolite. It's my duty as the president's granddaughter. I'm supposed to be arrogant, without a care in the world. My life is supposed to be dresses and parties and money. I look in the mirror. I'm so heavily made-up, if I didn't know any better, I wouldn't recognize myself. I run hot water and scrub my face. When I'm done, it's red hot. I try to get out of my tight dress. I can't, without ripping it, at least. I decide I don't care and I take the dress off. It comes off, unscathed at a glance. I slip into a nightgown.

I look at myself in the mirror and feel guilty. I'm more mature than this, getting so upset over a boy. I try to tell myself it's more than that, that it's about society's ever-present scrutinization of class roles. No, it's me, sitting here, blaming society for my problems. I begin to cry. I bawl until I'm sitting in a real puddle of my tears.

And how stupid was I to believe he was actually talking about me in his interview? I'm eleven years old, smarter than this. Other Capitol girls my age can have their drama sessions like this, but not me. I'm better than this.

But that is the Capitol mentality, isn't it? That we're just better. Despite my tears, I laugh at my ironic standpoint. I'm fighting society, yet I'm complying perfectly with it.

What would Father say? He'd comfort me, tell me I'm right. He'd tell me to go and fight for what I believe in, and get what I want. I miss him. He was the only person that had any sense.

I'm being incredibly selfish. Peeta's being sent to his death, and I'm sitting here, crying over some unrequited love that I have for a boy I saw through a TV screen. He falls in love with someone else, and I'm doing this. I'm using all my might not to wish ill on Katniss. It's not her fault. I feel horrible because of this insane jealousy I feel. I'm such a child.

It dawns on me that I have power. More power than I thought I had. I could protect Peeta. I will protect him. I'm a Gamemaker. I always knew the Games were rigged. I thought it was horrible. But now I'm using that to my advantage. I will get Peeta out, and Katniss and Rue, if somehow possible. I know it's not possible, but if this fantasy gets me to sleep at night, then let me dream.

I stand up, still feeling stupid and childish, but nonetheless better. I clean myself up and lie down in my soft bed. No one comes to say goodnight. That may be another factor of why I'm doing this, I want someone to love me. I'm so alone. Sure, I'm rich, and I have a seemingly loving family, but I want love. The unconditional kind. I guess...I helped Peeta, so I thought I had a chance at love.

I hear the chant of the crowd echo through the city. "Hun-ger Games, Hun-ger Games! Hun-ger Games, Hun-ger Games!"

I have such contempt for these people, the ones that look to the Hunger Games for entertainment. Though, as much as I want to, I can't revolutionize that. The only thing I can do is save a life, whether it be Peeta's, Katniss's, or Rue's. I will try to use all this power that I've seen as useless all my life for something good. And after my sort of unspoken soliloquy, I'm all the more determined. One final thought crosses my mind before I fall asleep.

Maybe I can do something worthwhile after all, and not just be another useless Capitol citizen.