Love Means Living And Dying
Disclaimer:If you think I own them, you are seriously overestimating both my age and ability.
A/N: Hi. I'm going to try and be concise here, but there is one thing that needs saying:
red713 mentioned that there were parts of this chapter that could have been left out/condensed, and to be careful not to repeat too much of the movie, since I advised you all to watch before reading. And it is definitely a legitimate concern, which is why I'm choosing to address it here. While I did advise you all to watch it, that was because it is a great movie and it'll be easier to follow along. I am going to be writing with the movie in the beginning, it's true, but I am going along pretending that you haven't seen the movie, because, while I am following it, I am also adding my own insights into the minds of the characters and what it means. So I am operating as though you don't know the movie and building the story, and all the scenes I put in are essential for you to observe the development and background of the characters. Many of them will also become important later on. I will also be adding my own scenes between movie scenes at some point. And the first chapter was more about their backgrounds, how they came to be who they are, than anything.
So if you don't want to read a large part of the movie, I advise you to stop right now.
So much for concise, huh?
The stage is set, so let the play begin…
Chapter Two: The Enterprise Incident
Three Years Later
"This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter." Admiral Barnett's voice rang out across the cadet-filled auditorium.
"James T. Kirk, step forward." Heads turned toward the blond cadet. As the admiral began to speak again, Jim glanced briefly at Bones and made his way toward the floor.
"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to regulation one seven point four three of the Starfleet code." Jim took his place behind his stand. "Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?"
Jim's shoulders were tense, but his voice was even, calm. "Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly?"
The admiral's eyes shifted and Jim whipped his head around to follow his gaze.
A young male instructor was getting gracefully to his feet. He tugged down the hem of his black shirt, meeting Jim's gaze emotionlessly. Jim turned his eyes away, faintly annoyed.
"Step forward, please," Barnett invited. "This is Commander Spock; he is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobyashi Maru exam for the last four years."
Spock stood behind his own stand and looked over at Jim. After a beat, Jim turned his head and met Spock's eyes, assessing him. He had silky smooth black hair cut in a perfectly straight line across his forehead, not a strand out of place. His eyebrows slanted upward over dark, exotic eyes. His ears curved up to points. Vulcan, Jim realized. His smooth skin was pale and unblemished. He was insanely handsome.
"Commander," Barnett said.
Spock turned to face the board of admirals. "Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the program and code, thereby changing the conditions of the test."
"Your point being?" Jim asked. Playing dumb.
"In academic vernacular, you cheated," Barnett told him sharply.
There was an outbreak of mutters among the assembled cadets.
Jim raised his voice to speak over them. "Let me ask you something, I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinnable."
"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario," Spock said, looking straight ahead.
"I don't believe in no-win scenarios," Jim replied, smiling slightly.
"Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson."
"Please, enlighten me," Jim invited.
"You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk," Spock said, almost reprimanding in tone, "A captain cannot cheat death."
Jim's eyes flicked toward the stands. There was a soft 'ooh' from the cadets. His eyes dropped to his podium and he fought to keep his voice level. "I of all people?" He looked back to Spock. Will he be brave enough to say it? Jim wondered.
"Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?" His tone was almost indifferent, and despite what Jim knew of Vulcan principles of logic, it angered him. That's my father you're talking about, asshole, Jim wanted to say. I may not like being expected to be something or someone because of who he was and what he did, but he's still my dad. I'm proud of him, and his life means something. Don't talk about him like he's nothing.
"I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test," Jim cut in almost before Spock had finished speaking, a feeble attempt to direct the conversation somewhere else-anywhere else. I am not my dad.
Spock continued before Jim had pronounced his last syllable. "Further more, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test."
"Enlighten me again." Their eyes were locked.
"The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death." Jim's eyes shifted. "To accept that fear and maintain control of oneself and one's crew." Jim looked down at his podium. Spock, however, kept his gaze on Jim. "This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain."
Jim looked like he was struggling for words. He kept his eyes rooted on his podium.
He was spared by a man in Academy staff blacks walking across the floor to stand in front of the admirals. "S'cuse me, sir," the man said, handing Admiral Barnett a PADD while the cadets murmured. Barnett looked at the PADD then back to the cadets and spoke, with a barely contained urgency. "We've received a distress call from Vulcan."
Spock's eyes, which had been on the courier, snapped toward Barnett, a faint shadow of shock crossing his features as his lips parted in a quiet, involuntary gasp. "With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hanger One immediately. Dismissed."
The cadets rose together and began filing out of the auditorium, their buzzing filling the hall.
Spock turned and strode off at a quick, controlled pace. Jim's eyes followed him intently, a serious look on the blonde's usually smiling face. He barely glanced at Bones as the older man came up to his shoulder, before looking after Spock again.
"Who was that pointy-eared bastard?" he asked in an aggravated undertone.
"I dunno," Bones replied. "But I like him," he added, before setting off. Jim threw an incredulous look at the man's back before following close behind him.
"Kirk, you're on academic suspension. That means you're grounded until the academy board rules." Jim listened with a mingled sense of disbelief and frustration. The commander walked away and Bones came up behind him.
"Jim, the board'll rule in your favor," Bones said. "Most likely." Gee, thanks, Jim thought, with a pained half-smile. "Look, Jim, I gotta go."
Jim turned and shook his friend's hand. "Yeah. Yeah, you go. Be safe." He tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace.
McCoy gave him a last, worried look before turning and walking off. About thirty feet away, he slowed and came to a stop, frowning deeply in concern. He rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation. "Dammit," he whispered as he turned and marched back to Jim before he could change his mind. "Come with me," he growled, towing a surprised Jim away.
A few seconds later, Bones led him into a small medical room.
"What are you doing?" Jim demanded loudly.
"I'm doin' you a favor," was his answer as he searched through the shelves. "Couldn't just leave ya there lookin' all pathetic. Take a seat." Jim sat as Bones turned with a hypo ready. "I'm gonna give you a vaccine against viral infection from the Laveran mud fleas." He jabbed the hypo into Jim's neck.
"Ow! What for?" Jim asked in an extremely irritated tone, rubbing his neck.
"To give you the symptoms."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're gonna start to lose vision in your left eye," McCoy informed him, as the blond began to blink.
"Yeah, I already have," Jim said, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Oh, and you're gonna get a really bad headache, and a flop sweat," Bones continued, pulling Jim up.
"You call this a favor?" Jim asked with difficulty, as his breathing became heavy.
"Yeah, ya owe me one," McCoy said, voice dripping with sarcasm as he led Jim from the room. The blond was leaning heavily on the doctor as they crossed the hanger to the shuttle, and came to a halt in front of a commander holding a duty roster.
"Kirk, James T." he started. "He's not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise," he told McCoy primly. The doctor bristled.
"Medical code states that the treatment and transport of a patient is to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician." McCoy glared down at the man imperiously, while Jim panted beside him. "Which is me," he emphasized. "So I'm taking Mr. Kirk aboard. Or, would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?"
"As you were," the commander consented.
McCoy gave him a filthy glare. "As you were," he snarled, pulling Jim past him. "Come on." He dragged Jim up the ramp and helped him into a seat on the shuttlecraft.
Jim's breathing was labored and sweat covered his forehead as they warped into space. "I might throw up on you," he forced out.
"Jim, you gotta look at this."
Had Jim been in better condition, he probably would have been shocked to hear that the country doctor was not only looking out the window, but encouraging him to do so as well, without one mention of explosions or painful death. As it was, he barely registered that his friend was speaking to him.
McCoy nudged Jim's arm. "Jim, look."
"What?" He leaned over and peered out the window. They both stared in awe and wonder at the space-dock and the sleek starships parked there. "Whoa," Jim muttered as they approached the Enterprise. He was sure he had never seen a more beautiful ship.
Several minutes later, Bones was leading him through the halls of the Enterprise, muttering, "Come on, we need to get ya changed."
"I don't feel right, I feel like I'm leaking," Jim announced, twisting his mouth around the words as though they tasted strange.
"Hell, its that pointy-eared bastard," Bones cursed, pulling Jim down a side hall.
McCoy dragged him down to Sickbay. "Where are we?" Jim asked dizzily as they exited the turbolift.
"Medical Bay."
"This isn't worth it," Jim whined.
"A little suffering's good for the soul," Bones responded, business-like. He yanked Jim away as the blond tried to make a pass at a pretty passing nurse. "Come here," he muttered.
"My mouth is itchy, is that normal?"
Bones dumped him on a biobed. "Well, those symptoms won't last long. I'm going to give you a mild sedative."
Jim groaned. "Oooh, I wish I didn't know you."
"Don't be such an infant." He stabbed the hypo into Jim's neck.
"Ah! Uh, how long's it supposed to—" His eyes rolled up and he collapsed backward.
"Unbelievable," McCoy muttered to himself as he stalked away.
Jim sat bolt upright. "Lightning storm!"
"Ah, Jim. You're awake," McCoy observed, coming over to him. "How do you feel?" he asked as Jim moaned.
"Good God, man!" Bones exclaimed, eyes fixed, horrified, on something in Jim's lap.
"What?" asked Jim, following his friend's gaze. He gave a decidedly unmanly yelp and lifted his hands, which now resembled hand-shaped balloons, rather than actual human extremities. "What the hell is this?" Jim squeaked.
"A reaction to the vaccine, dammit!" McCoy answered, moving past him. Jim got up and moved to the nearest vid-screen, hardly aware of Bones calling, "Nurse Chapel, I need 50 cc's of cortisone!
He pressed a few buttons (With difficulty due to his swollen hands) and Ensign Chekov, the navigator, appeared on the screen.
He fast-forwarded to the part he cared about, as McCoy reappeared and scanned him with a tricorder. "—What appear to be a lightning storm in space," the boy said in a heavy Russian accent.
Jim grabbed McCoy's head. "We gotta stop the ship!" he declared.
He ran through the halls in his regulation blacks, Bones skidding behind him, shouting, "Jim, I'm not kidding, you need to keep your heart rate down!"
Jim stopped at a computer, and Bones caught up, fumbling in his medical case. "Computer, locate crewmember Uhura," Jim ordered as McCoy found the hypo he wanted.
"I haven't seen a reaction this severe since med school."
Jim wasn't listening. "We're flying into a trap!" he yelled to Bones, taking off again. McCoy rushed after him.
"Dammit, Jim, stand still!" he snarled. Jim paused, looking around and the doctor took advantage of the opportunity to plunge the hypo into his friend's neck.
"Ow! Stop it!" Jim spat, before running off again, this time having to dodge around the crewmembers that were milling around. Finally, the blond cadet spotted his target and shoved his way through. "Uhura!" he gasped.
She turned in shock and stood. "Kirk. What are you doing here?"
But he spoke over her urgently. "The transmission from the Klingon prison planet, what exactly—"
"Oh my god, what's wrong with your hands!" she cried, staring at the swollen appendages. McCoy caught up and immediately ran a tricorder over his friend.
"Eh-eh-Look," he said, determined to keep her focused. "Who is responsible for the Klingon attack and was wa ship Romoowan?"
"Was the ship what?"
He turned to Bones. "Wha's happenin my mouf?" he asked despairingly, sounding as though his tongue had swollen.
"You got numbtongue?" McCoy wondered, frowning in concern.
"Numton?" he yelled, losing his patience.
"I can fix that," McCoy declared, diving for his medical bag.
"Was the ship what?" Uhura repeated, more anxiously, feeling Jim's desperation.
"Romoowan," Jim tried to say.
"What?"
"Rom-u-wan," he said more slowly.
"Romulan," she repeated.
"Yeah!" he agreed emphatically.
"Yes!" she cried.
"Yeah, yeah—" he shouted. McCoy took the chance and stuck yet another hypo into Jim's unprotected neck.
"Ah-ah-Dop id!"
Jim raced down the hall, McCoy behind him, and Uhura behind the doctor.
"Jim!" McCoy shouted.
"What's going on?" Uhura called.
"Jim, come back!" Bones yelled, stretching out a hand.
"Kirk!"
"Captain!" Jim shouted as he burst onto the bridge.
"Jim!" McCoy was still yelling. Uhura too was calling his name, but Jim ignored both.
"Captain Pike, we have to stop the ship," Jim announced without preamble.
Captain Pike rose from his chair. "Kirk, how the hell did you get on board the Enterprise?"
Bones stepped forward, catching hold of Jim by the arm. "Captain, this man's under the influence of a severe reaction—"
"Bones—Bones—Bones—" Jim tried to interrupt, but McCoy went on as though he wasn't speaking.
"—To a vaccine, completely delusional—"
"Vulcan's not experiencing a natural disaster—" Jim cut in.
"—I take full responsibility," Bones finished.
"It's being attacked by Romulans," Jim finally managed to get out.
"Romulans. Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day, McCoy take him back to Medical, we'll have words later."
"Aye, Captain." McCoy tried to pull Jim away, but Jim shook off his grip and stepped forward.
"Sir, that same anomaly that we saw—"
"Kirk—" Pike began.
"Mr. Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel," Spock cut in, and Jim talked over him.
"Look, I get it, you're a great arguer—"
"By Starfleet regulations—"
"—I'd love to do it again with you soon—"
"—that makes him a stowaway."
"I can remove the cadet," Spock continued.
"Try it!" Jim shouted angrily, losing whatever patience he had left.
"Kirk—" Pike injected.
"This cadet is trying to save the bridge!" Jim yelled at Spock.
"By recommending a full stop mid-warp during a rescue mission?" he inquired, as mockingly sarcastic as a Vulcan could be.
Jim turned to Pike, lowering his voice. "It's not a rescue mission, listen to me, it's an attack—"
"Based on what facts?" Spock challenged coldly.
Jim met his eyes and opened his mouth. "That same anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth."
His face did not change, but a hint of surprise appeared in Spock's eyes, which only increased at Jim's next words.
"Before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin." He again looked to Pike. "You know that sir, I read your dissertation." Pike looked somewhat flattered despite himself and Jim turned back to Spock, eyes blazing. "That ship, which had formidable and advanced weaponry was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attack took place on the edge of Klingon space and at 2300 hours last night, there was an attack, forty-seven Klingon warbirds destroyed by Romulans sir, and it was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship."
"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Pike asked, disbelievingly. Jim looked to Uhura, hoping for backup.
She hesitated and said, "Sir, I intercepted and translated the massage myself. Kirk's report is accurate."
"We're warping into a trap, sir, there are Romulans waiting for us, I promise you that."
Pike glanced over at Spock.
"The cadet's logic is sound," said Spock finally, looking like he would rather have teeth pulled than admit it. His eyes flicked back to Jim and then he turned toward Pike. "And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in xeno-linguistics; we would be wise to accept her conclusion," he added, seeming glad (as glad as a Vulcan can be, anyway) of a way to give someone other than Jim credit.
"Scan Vulcan space, check for any transmission in Romulan," Pike ordered.
"Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan," the lieutenant on duty admitted.
Pike moved to Uhura. "What about you, can you speak Romulan, cadet—?"
"Uhura," she told him. "All three dialects, sir."
"Uhura, relieve the lieutenant," he commanded.
For a moment she was speechless, then, happiness in her eyes, she nodded professionally and said, "Yes, sir."
"Hannity, hail the USS Truman."
"All the other ships are out of warp, sir," a girl in red—who must have been Hannity—said, "and have arrived at Vulcan, but we seem to have lost all contact."
"Sir," Uhura called. "I pick up no Romulan transmissions. Or transmissions of any kind in the area."
"That's because they're being attacked," Jim informed.
Pike paused, then marched back to his chair. "Shields up, red alert."
Spock moved to stand beside Jim as Sulu announced, "Arrival at Vulcan in five seconds. Four. Three."
As they braced themselves, Jim glanced over at Spock, who after half a second, met his gaze, and didn't look away. "Two—"
They dropped out of warp and into a battle zone. Debris and pieces of destroyed starships flew past them. The bridge shuddered as a jolt ran through the ship. Pike yelled for evasive maneuvers as Spock regained his balance and stumbled back to the science station, and Jim tightened his grip on the rail.
"Captain, we're being hailed," Uhura called, standing.
An alien face slid onto the main view screen. His ears were pointed and his eyebrows curved like a Vulcan, but he was completely bald, his eyebrows had a sharp vertical upturn at the ends and he had intricate, spiky tattoos across his cheekbones and forehead.
"Hello," he drawled, rather anticlimactically. They had all been expecting maniacal laughter or a demand of total surrender.
"I'm Captain Christopher Pike, to whom am I speaking?" Pike demanded fearlessly.
The Romulan inclined his head. "Hi, Christopher, I'm Nero," he said amiably.
"You've declared war against the Federation," Pike informed him. "Withdraw, I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location."
"I do not speak for the Empire," Nero declared. "We stand apart." There was a brief pause and a hint of smirk crossed his face, though a new tension appeared in his voice. "As does your Vulcan crewmember, isn't that right…Spock?"
All heads turned toward the science station as Spock gracefully rose from his chair and walked to Captain Pike's side, saying cautiously as he did so, "Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted."
Jim almost had to bite back a laugh at the formality the Vulcan was displaying at a moment when time was of the essence and he was addressing a man who had attacked them and who showed no inclination to desist in said attack.
"No, we're not," Nero acknowledged. "Not yet. Spock, there is something I would like you to see."
Spock's eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly in confusion. "Captain Pike," Nero continued. "Your transporter has been disabled. As you can see by the rest of your armada, you have no choice. You will man a shuttle, come aboard the Narada for negotiations. That is all." The transmission ended and the screen went blank.
Pike thought for a moment and stood. Slowly he walked down from the slightly raised platform that held the Captain's chair. "He'll kill you, you know that," Jim said.
"Your survival is unlikely," Spock agreed instantly.
"Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy, going over to that ship is a mistake," Jim insisted more urgently.
"I too agree, you should rethink your strategy," Spock affirmed.
"I understand that," Pike said in a low voice. He raised his volume. "I need officers trained in advance hand-to-hand combat." There was a pause.
"I have training, sir." Sulu raised his hand.
"Come with me. Kirk, you too, you're not supposed to be here anyway. Chekov, you have the conn."
"A-Aye, keptin."
Jim, Pike, Spock, and Sulu strode purposefully down the corridors, Pike in the lead, Jim and Spock shoulder to shoulder behind him, and Sulu bringing up the rear. "Without transporters we can't beam off the ship, we can't assist Vulcan, we can't do our jobs," Pike stated. "Mr. Kirk, Mr. Sulu, Engineer Olsen will space-jump from the shuttle." Spock's eyebrows rose a fraction. "You will land on that machine they've lowered into the atmosphere—" Jim glanced at Spock. "—that's scrambling our gear. You'll get inside, you'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship." Spock threw a glance at Jim, eyebrows lifted and drawn together in an expression of subtle concern. "Mr. Spock—" his eyes flicked back to the captain. "—I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Once we have transport capabilities and communication's back up, you'll contact Starfleet—" Jim shot another look at Spock. "—and tell them what the hell's going on here. And if all else fails," he said, stopping at the turbolift doors and facing Spock. "Fall back, rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system." Jim looked at Spock again. "Kirk, I'm promoting you to First Officer."
"What?"
"Captain?" Spock questioned incredulously. "Please, I apologize, the complexities of human pranks escape me—"
"It's not a prank, Spock. And I'm not the captain. You are. Let's go."
Spock and Jim locked gazes as Sulu walked between them into the turbolift. There was a hint of a smile around the corners of Jim's lips and as he walked past Spock and into the lift, Spock's eyes dropped and filled with a mixture of worry and confusion, before he looked up at the group in the turbolift.
"Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?" Jim asked.
"Well, I guess you'll have to come and get me. Careful with the ship Spock, she's brand-new." Jim's eyes lifted to Spock.
Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded once, ever so slightly, looking utterly confused and a tad overwhelmed, before the doors slid shut and he was gone from view.
A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed, your insights are exceedingly valuable and absolutely inspiring. Many, many thanks to adevotedreader, who pointed out a few grammatical errors for me (since my spelling/grammar check is moronic) and whose encouragement is invaluable. If anyone notices any mistakes, I implore you tell me so I can fix them. I have OCD when it comes to writing.
Please review! Your comments amuse and amaze, and I treasure each and every one. Lots o' Love!