The water drops echoed loudly on the lifeless tile in his shower, glistening bright against the dark figure cast by his shadow. They swirled, forming a tunnel before giving in to their inevitable demise in the drain. Funnily enough, the same could be said about his life. He started out so well, strong, determined, always knowing what he had to do.

But now... Now he wasn't so sure.

He wanted it to be over. Wanted to get through the torrent tornado of emotion and suffering, and just take the final, ineluctable plunge at the end. Maybe then he would have some peace, some sort of sanctuary from the constant headaches and shame. Finally, find a place to escape from the business, the exhausting day's and nights. Jesus, what he wouldn't do for that.

Tony sighed, sagging against the shower wall, allowing the boiling spray to assault his chest. He listened to the rhythmic drops now ticking off the arc reactor and curving downwards with the twist of his scars. They, too, would have to give in to gravity eventually, yet they continued to cling desperately, seeming to ignore the violent onslaught battering them down. He watched a few more drops fall to the unforgiving floor, wishing, not for the first time, that he too could simply melt and drift away.

Breaking from his self pitying thoughts, he ran his fingers through his hair, allowing the deep conditioner to set before washing it away.

Aldrich Killian. God, there was such a massive difference between simply hearing his name from his long-time friend and employee, and seeing his face again. It ripped something open inside of him, something he thought he had locked away deep in his heart that ached when it awoke once more. A strange hunger, a yearning to feel his long-lost alpha. To be protected and happy.

It was a ridiculous thought.

Moments after seeing Aldrich again, he knew he would have to lie to Steve. That was probably why he picked up the pad in the first place, making sure Tony didn't reveal his little secret to anyone who might use it to blackmail him. Who knew how many stockholders the CEO would lose if they found out he slept with a whore?

But for a moment, it had almost looked like he- No. No, don't think about it. You're letting him win, Tony.

The alpha left for a reason. A horribly, painfully, obvious reason. And while it burned and tore through him to even think about it, his logical mind could not simply ignore such a blatant truth.

Aldrich had been ashamed of himself for sleeping with Tony. Probably checked to make sure he didn't have any diseases the next day, too.

Tony scrubbed a hand over his eyes, fighting the migraine trying to bloom in his skull. Wasted effort, since the headache sprouted out anyway, but at least he tried.

Huh, that could be a beautiful motto for his life.

He tried to be a good son for Howard. He tried to be a great weapons designer for Obie. He tried accomplishing all the unreachable goals set by the public. He tried being a good omega for Aldrich, then Pepper, and now Steve. He tried.

But no matter how hard he tried, he always seemed to fail in the end. So far, the only one that hadn't ended in disaster was his break-up with Pepper, and even that was just because she'd found her Soul Bound. Had he tried to fight her new alpha (and really, it was against Natasha, it would be a massacre) most likely, Natasha wouldn't have let him see her again. It was better to give up, and leave the two to be happy together. Though, he had originally been offered a spot in their relationship. Apparently, the idea of having a omega in their click had been extremely tempting. But Tony was sure that had less to do with his status, as to his fertility.

It was clear as glass to see that the two wanted to raise a child. However, Pepper couldn't get pregnant, and Natasha couldn't work with only half the equation. Unfortunately, with their jobs and lives, neither could really take care of a kid right now, either. After conversing with Steve, who later fucked his sweet spot till he saw red, white and blue for being so kind hearted, Tony had promised that whenever things had cooled off, and they were completely sure, that he would supply the uterus, and carry their child for them.

Blinking, Tony looked down at his flaccid member. Usually he would be fully erect fantasising a fourway between himself, Steve, Pepper, and Natasha. Yet, tonight he hang loosely next to his thigh, the barest twitch alerting him that he hadn't passed out from over exhaustion. Rubbing his palm over it did little to fix the problem, instead it only plagued him with worry. He hadn't had this problem since he gave up trying to contact Aldrich all those years ago, but... it couldn't have...

Wrapping fingers around himself, he jerked off to what he remembered of his runaway mate. Eyes a deep azure, like drops of rain falling from the heavens, only to land alone and frightened on the unforgiving ground. Hair, waves of golden sand, sparkling brilliantly in the hot desert sun.

He paused in his musings to glance at his member, that hadn't moved from it's place on his leg.

So far, so good.

Closing his eyes, he envisioned when they made lo- fucked, practically feeling the alpha's hands on his rectum. But.. no, that wasn't what felt so good last time. For the life of him, he couldn't remember why, but it hadn't been about sex, though it had been delightful. But no, it had been something deeper, on a more personal level. There had been passion, yes, but it was a different kind, like it was more the pure joy of companionship than the lust from a new bed partner. Knowing that he wouldn't be alone anymore, and that his troubles were behind him.

Opening his eyes, he gazed at his fully erect member, collapsing to his knees in a pitiful attempt at sinking beneath the floor and disappearing.

Apparently, not only does biology hate him, so does fate. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't as simple as just asking the alpha to be with him again, it was clear the man wanted nothing to do with him. And what about Steve? The one he felt connected and enjoyed being with?

After rinsing off the soap suds from his body, he exited the shower and made his way towards the bedroom, avoiding Steve's eyes when the man tried to gain his attention on something. When he arrived to their room, he discarded the towel and collapsed onto the bed, not bothering to put his night clothes on. Minutes later, he felt arms slide over his waist and pull him into a comforting embrace. He quickly fell asleep to the metronome playing next to his ear, a distressing riddle itching in the back of his subconscious.

Do you love what you've lost, or do you lose what you love?

He was alone. Alone, and cold. The universe was silent. There was no ground beneath his feet, and the oxygen going into his lungs tasted intense. In front of him, the nuclear missile sailed forward, colliding with the chitari mother ship in an explosion of color. Divine, soulful paint splattered across the black, blank canvass. An alarm sounded next to his ear, is helmet flashing 'WARNING!' on the screen, next to his friends image. And even as the air stilled and the screen fritz, Tony felt content.

The world was safe. Pepper was safe.

He smiled at her, regretting that he wasn't ever able to apologize for the years of torment he forced her into. Even though it wasn't the real Pepper, he still grinned as bright as he could. Hopefully she wouldn't cry for him; he would never forgive himself. Then again, she had Natasha now. Maybe the spy would be able to ease the pain of the blow. He's sure someone would be willing to carry for the two, maybe Maria?

As the screen dimmed, flickered and finally went black, Tony closed his eyes, at peace with his decision.

It had to be him, he had to do this for them. The others had lives to go back to, people who still needed them in the world. Tony had no one waiting for him, but his lifeless creations, and a bottle of Jack. True, he had Pepper and Rhodey, but they could live through it. Both had priorities in life that would take their attention off the ache, and would no doubt forget all about him in time. Without them, Tony really had no one else, save the bedmates who slept with him only for gossip and their twenty minutes of fame.

There was no reason to fight it. After all the disappointment and emptiness splayed over his lifetime, his last moments would be spent doing one thing right. He was finally the hero he had grown up wishing to be, pushing himself to achieve. After all these years, he would make his father proud. And even though it would cost him his life, he didn't care.

Better to die a hero and alone, than just alone. True, he would have liked to have someone see him off. But then, he was always destined to leave in a lonesome silence.

A brief memory played in his minds-eye as he took his last shuddering breath, one of a happier time. One of a beautiful blonde with ocean eyes and the most wonderful smile.

Ghost hands of gravity clutched his body, and Tony let himself fall...

"Tony-?" He whimpered as he awoke, tears staining his cheeks in twin tracks. It was over, he was alive. Better yet, he was happy to be alive. He was not alone, would never be alone again. Steve was here. Steve would make everything better. He always fixed what was broken. He was fine, he was safe. The Chitari were dead. They weren't coming back. Pepper was safe. Steve was safe. Bruce was safe. He was safe.

"I'm..." Tony started, gazing into Steve's calming stare. The captain held Tony in the same position as the night before, but it was obvious from his terrified eyes Tony had been struggling in his grip. Creased lines of worry spiderwebbed from the alphas weary look, as he dispelled the remaining sleep from his mind.

A metal hand suddenly wrapped around Steve's wrist, yanking the captain away from the frightened omega. Bewildered dismay splashed color on his cheeks as the robotic appendage ripped Steve clean out of bed and onto the floor. The captain splayed out on the wood, leveling the Iron Man suit in front of him a look of complete disbelief. One repulsor lifted slightly, aiming for somewhere around Steve's heart. Stunned, the alpha could do nothing but stare as the metal glove lit up bright blue.

Putting his arms out in command, Tony sliced down the air, disarming, and casting the armor away into a pile at his feet.

"Sorry, its um..." Looking at the frightened eyes of his mate, Tony winced. This wasn't supposed to happen, the armor should have known better than that. He would have to reconfigure it later, "It's not supposed to do that."

"What the hell was that, Tony? Why did it... Was it going to-?"

"No!" He quickly stated, "No, I wouldn't have let it hurt you."

"And what if you hadn't awoke in time?" Steve demanded, eyes misting in both fright and anger, "What if you kept sleeping, and that... that...thing came in here. Huh?"

"Steve, I'm sorry," He fumbled for words, for anything that would make this right. But he could find nothing. Steve had a right to be angry, because Tony had fucked up. His terrified mind was getting the best of him, and now it was hurting those closest to him.

"I'm going out," Steve stated, standing from his spot on the ground and began making his way to the door. Tony lunged towards him, self-loathing eating away at his humanity as he grabbed at Steve's arm.

"Steve, please," He began, but grew silent when the alpha directed his wet glare on his face.

"I need some air, and I think you need some time to get your priorities straight."

He walked out, leaving behind Tony to pick up the broken pieces of his armor alone.

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the short chapter, I just wanted to take care of this part before I go into Happy's P.O.V

BTW, I wrote the first part on Wednesday and the last two parts of this chapter on Friday, so sorry if they don't exactly sync.

Also, someone messaged andasked me on here what I think Tony and Aldrich's kids would look like, and honestly? I think they would either look like a small Mads Mikkelsen, or Seto Kaiba from Yugioh.