Author's note: I told you there'd be more Deadpool! Read and review, please!

"Um… Wendy? Why does she have an entire file on you?" Pete asked.

"Move over." I said, shoving Clint out of the seat. It was all here. And I mean all. Medical records, criminal records, pictures from my kindergarten graduation. Even the records from my brief time with S.H.I.E.L.D.

"So… she's a stalker?" Natasha said. I nodded, biting my lip.

"Yeah, but why me?" I said as I scrolled down through the file, watching my life literally pass me by. "I'd never even heard of the woman until a month ago."

"The way the stalker mentality works, you don't have to know someone for long." Natasha said. "You probably had some sort of exchange with her, something that meant nothing to you but meant the world to her."

"But I'd remember! A face like hers is hard to forget!"

"She actually kind of looks like you, doesn't she?" Pete remarked. We all turned to look at him. We were interrupted, however, by a voice from the back of the room.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to be here!" It was a low, female voice. She spoke in Russian. We turned to see one of Charlotte's goons standing in front of the door. "And I'm guessing there's no fire either." She held a walkie-talkie up to her mouth. "I need backup in the main office."

"This will be easy." Natasha said. She stood up.

"Just one minute." I said, holding her back. I smirked. "I got this." She stepped back.

"I'll give you this one. But only because I'm curious to see what you can do." I swaggered up to the woman, cracking my knuckles. "Just try not to kill her, alright? I think Fury would prefer if you didn't bloody your hands."

"Aw, you're taking all the fun out of it." I looked the woman in the eye. "Go on, come at me. I can tell my boss it was self-defense." I said it in Russian, mainly because I didn't want her to miss my awesome quip. She didn't disappoint; she ran at me, swinging her fist wildly in the general direction of my face. Obviously not a combat specialist. "Is that all you got?" I said, straining the last word as I grabbed her wrist and flipped her hard onto the ground. She grunted, shifting under my grip, then rolled out from under me with pure brute strength. "Ho!" I exclaimed. The woman stood up quickly, holding her fists up in a fighting stance. She ran at me again and started throwing punches, all aimed right at my head. I dodged every one. "I gotta say, what you lack in technique you make up for in determination." I said.

"Stop messing with me!" She shouted angrily as she pulled back her right arm, hand clenched into a fist, and prepared to break my nose. Pity, too; I had been hoping for a challenge. I side-stepped quickly to the right, (my right, to be clear) and she stumbled forward, losing her balance. I took the opportunity to raise my left leg and kick her in the face. Hard. She fell to the ground in a slump, obviously out cold.

"Come on, let's clear out!" I said, motioning the others toward the exit. "There'll only be more of Charlotte's flunkies to deal with from here on out, so we'd better get moving." Clint lagged behind, shoving a USB stick into the first computer.

"Come on, come on!" He said impatiently as he waited for the file to download.

"Clint, let's go!" Natasha yelled.

"Give me just one second!" He said. "Got it!" He pulled the stick out of the computer and rushed after us. "I got the file!" He said triumphantly.

"Let's go!" Natasha said, motioning him out the door. And we all rushed out the door through the corridors.

"That was awesome!" Pete said as we ran. "What were you saying in Russian, anyway?" Natasha piped up.

"Basically, she was acting like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete said indignantly.

"Nothing, Pete. Focus on escaping." We sprinted toward the hatch, clamored up the ladder, and ran out into the halls. By now a loud siren was sounding, alerting the guards to the intruders; us.

"Where are all the guards?" Clint said as we ran. "They should be here by now, that woman called for backup ages ago!" His question was answered when we entered the foyer. We all skidded to a stop at the sight of thirty or so men and women holding rather impressive guns; all trained on us.

"Remember the whole 'don't kill anyone' thing?" Natasha said. "I think you can forget that for now." The guards opened fire onto us, and we all sprang into combat mode. Natasha and I jumped into the air, weaving and dodging through the bullets. Pete shot to the ceiling, bringing Clint with him.

"What the?" I heard Clint shout.

"You're a sniper, right? Here's your vantage point." He set Clint down on a ledge created by the molding in the ceiling.

"Thanks."

"No problem. You can make it up to me with that bow of yours." We were working as a team. Natasha and I sprang around the guards, snapping necks and breaking backs too fast to be caught. Pete stuck to the ceiling, webbing the guards to the floor and walls. And Clint? What do you think he was doing? He sat up in the molding shooting guards left and right, with marksmanship that could wing a fruit-fly from a mile away. I smiled as I hopped behind one of the men and used my elbow to break his back. We were in sync! As he toppled to the ground, I looked up to see a gun trained on me from across the room. I had one second to panic before the guy holding it fell to the ground with an arrow in his neck. I craned my neck to see Clint smiling down at me, bow in hand.

"Thanks!" I shouted.

"S.H.I.E.L.D agents look out for their own." He replied. "I would get moving, if I were you." I looked down to see three more firearms with my name on them. I ran quickly out of the way, ducking and weaving. Soon there was no-one left. Pete lowered himself and Clint down from the ceiling, and Natasha and I gathered in the center. The alarm was still sounding.

"What do you think the chances are of them being the only guards we'll have to deal with?" Pete asked, knowing the answer.

"Slim to none." Clint said. "Which is why we should get moving; now." We all rushed out the door after him. I gotta admit, I really didn't want to be taking orders from Clint. But it was, to tell the truth, a solid idea. And the guy did just save my life. So I followed without a word. By the time we had run across Charlotte's massive front lawn and reached the street below, it felt like we were home free. How wrong can a girl be?

"Put your hands up!" A voice boomed in Russian from the sky. Suddenly we were surrounded; at least a hundred commando officers, and three helicopters, all with searchlights trained on us. Or, rather, on me.

"Huh." I said. "Two more helicopters than last time."

"Wendy Agatha Trescott, we have you surrounded! Raise your hands in surrender or we will be forced to take action!" That was it. Everything had been going so perfectly, and now this! My hands began to shake. I gritted my teeth in a hard scowl and my mind started to go. Natasha noticed immediately.

"Wendy, get yourself under control." She said, concerned. No. I thought. This is not the time, Wendy. Keep yourself together! I probably would have blacked out and killed everyone in sight. Or, more likely, gotten myself killed. But I was interrupted by the sudden sensation of having the wind knocked out of me by someone's arm. I had been slung over an unfamiliar shoulder, and the owner of said shoulder was carrying me fast away from the helicopters and commandos.

"The hell is this?" I shouted, ready to bite and scratch until my kidnapper put me down. That's when I saw; he was wearing a black and red suit. A belt with all sorts of gadgets tucked into it. And from the position I was in, I had a perfect view of the two katanas slung across his back. "Deadpool?!" I exclaimed.

"That's me!" He said happily. "The merc with a mouth, the guy who won't die, the world's first Olympic-class d-bag! But you can call me Wade." I nearly fainted. Deadpool- I mean, Wade was rescuing me? (Not to mention I had a perfect view of his ass.) This was like Christmas and my birthday and open hunting season all rolled up into one! But something occurred to me;

"Not to seem rude, but what about the others?" I asked. My words came out a bit jostled, mainly because of the rocky terrain, but also because he seemed to be skipping.

"I wouldn't worry about them." He said. I looked up to see Pete, Clint and Natasha running fast after us, in that order. The helicopters were coming after us too.

"Wade, what the hell are you doing?" Pete asked angrily as he caught up to us.

"I'm being rescued!" I said happily. "By Deadpool!"

"Yeah, I can see that. Wade, I thought you were supposed to be in Texas? What are you doing in Russia?"

"Apparently I'm saving your sorry ass!" Wade said. He looked happy about it, too. "Eli and I got done early. The whole rustlers thing was fun, but waaaay too easy. So I left early, figured I'd see what you were up to. I did get to bring home some leather chaps, though."

"I hope you know Texas isn't all ten gallon hats and cowboy boots." I said.

"Yeah, but that's the fun part, innit?" I couldn't argue with the man. Natasha caught up to us next.

"Not to ruin the moment, but we've still got three choppers after us." She said.

"Oh, that'll be easy. Clint, remember my trick arrows?"

"Oh no. Not those again." Wade smiled. At least I think he was smiling. It's hard to tell under the mask. He stopped abruptly, nearly throwing me off his shoulder. He reached into an arrow-sling he had hanging off his belt.

"Where's your-" I started. I was cut off when he reached into one of his many pockets and pulled out a telescoping bow, which immediately snapped out to full size. "Bow." I finished. The arrow he pulled out was… unique, to say the least. The fletching and the shaft were perfectly regulation, (yeah, I had Clint teach me some archery lingo.) But the tip… it was huge; spherical. He shot it into the air at one of the helicopters. Then another. Then another. "What's the trick, anyway?" I asked. I saw Clint smack his palm to his face. Not a question he wanted to hear the answer to, I'm guessing.

"The trick," Wade started. That's when I heard a faint beeping coming from the arrows, and all three helicopters exploded into a fiery mass of pure doom, raining fire down on the commandos.

"Retreat! Retreat!" They all shouted, running back to the street and leaving us alone. Wade continued.

"The trick is that they all explode!" He broke out into a burst of maniacal, almost childlike laughter. I couldn't help it; I joined him.

"Madmen." I heard Pete say. "I'm surrounded by madmen!"

"That was awesome!" I shouted.

"Whoa!" Wade said. "Not so close to the ear!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Um, Wade?" Pete said.

"Yeah?"

"I think you can put her down now."

"Oh, yeah."

"Aww." I sighed in disappointment as Wade lowered me to the ground.

"We just blew up three government aircrafts." Pete said. "We'll never hear the end of this."

"Wrong!" Wade said, holding up a finger pointedly. "I blew up three government aircrafts! And it's not like I asked you for permission first, so you can just tell Fury you had nothing to do with it!"

"That…" Natasha said. "That's genius." Wade grinned so wide I could see it even under the fabric.

"I have my moments! Now then, follow me down the yellow brick road!"

"Who are you, the good witch?" Pete asked as we walked.

"Hell, no! I'm Dorothy!"

"O-kay…" Pete said skeptically.

"Yup. I'm Dorothy, you're the scarecrow, the spy here is the lion, and bow-slinger's the tin man."

"Wait… does that make me Toto?" I said.

"Naw, naw. You're the Mad Hatter!"

"Wrong book, Wade." Pete said. Wade turned to me.

"Do you wanna be Toto?"

"No, I'll take the Mad Hatter, thank you."

"Where are we going, anyway?" Clint piped up. We all turned to him. That was actually a pretty good question. Wade put his hand to his chin as if he was thinking.

"Where are we going?" He said. "Well, I dunno… which way is your hotel?"

"We can't go back to the hotel, genius!" Pete said. "We're wanted across the country!"

"How did you even get here, anyway?" Natasha asked.

"I flew in."

"You what?" Pete asked.

"Yeah. Eli gave me a lift in his chopper." Now it was my turn to be surprised.

"His what?!" I exclaimed.

"You didn't know? Your dad's got himself a copter. Pretty decent one, too."

"But where did he get it?"

"How long's it been since you've seen your dad?" Wade asked. I hesitated.

"About ten years."

"Bounty hunter makes a lot of money in that kind of time. You should see the place; probably doesn't look anything like it did when you were growing up there."

"Wait, he's still living in the old house?"

"Is anyone going to address the fact that we're being led by a psychotic mercenary who has no idea where he's going?" Clint said. Wade turned to face him. "Do you even have a plan?" Clint continued. Wade walked right up to him until their chests were nearly touching. He looked him right in the eye. And said;

"No, no I don't."

"Oh, that's just great." Pete said, throwing up his hands.

"I'm taking matters into my own hands." Natasha said. She put a finger to the communication device in her ear. "Fury?" We all waited as she made the call. "We're ready to be picked up." A pause. "Alright." She lowered her finger. "He'll be picking us up in a field near here. Let's get moving." We started walking again. I made sure my pace was kept even so that I'd be right next to Wade the whole time.

"Um…" He said, breaking me out of my daze. "Is there a reason why you're staring at me?"

"Oh, nothing. You're just my hero, is all. It is just so amazing to finally meet you in the flesh!"

He grinned. "Yeah, I'm pretty kickass."

"Can I try something?" I asked.

"Shoot." I reached up, wrapped my arms around his head, and twisted it clean off. "Wh-hoa!" He said. I lifted his head up and studied it as his body stumbled around in the brush, trying to keep pace.

"That's disgusting." Clint said. Natasha averted her eyes. Pete just sighed.

"Put it back when you're done, would you?" He said.

"I gotta say," Wade said. "This hasn't happened to me in a while. Ow!" His body had just whacked into a tree.

"You are awesome." I said.

"You don't need to tell me! Ooh… nice view." I blushed as I realized he was in the perfect position to look down my shirt.

"Wade, have some class." Pete said.

"Have you met me?" Pete just sighed. Again. "Hey, would you mind giving me back to my body? It kinda needs me to see."

"Fine." I said, disappointed that I would have to put him down. I tapped his body's shoulder and it whirled around, nearly hitting me in the face.

"Whoa!" Wade said. "Careful, we like her!" I smiled. He liked me!

"There you go." I put Wade's head back into his body's hands, and he jammed it back onto his neck. He twisted it left, then right, until it made a satisfying "pop".

"Hey!" He said, massaging his neck. "You got a crick outta my neck!"

"Anytime!" I was smiling like an idiot.

"Can we keep walking?" Natasha said. I looked up to see the others were far ahead of us. Soon we got to the field, where a helicopter was waiting to fly us up to the helicarrier. We all filed in, Wade included.

"Hey, Coulson!" I said. Phil was sitting behind the controls.

"Wendy!" He said, happy to see me. "You've gotten yourself into quite a bit of trouble." He looked back to see Wade. "Er… is he coming?"

"Sup." Wade said. Phil turned, confused, and started up the chopper.

Fury was… well, I'm not quite sure what exactly he was. I'd say equal parts livid, confused, and impressed. He was pacing back and forth around the office.

"In our defense, we did get the information." I said. Fury raised his finger as if in protest, and opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth and lowered the finger. He started pacing again.

"I don't know where to start." He finally said.

"How about with the fact that we got what we were looking for?" I said. "Clint?" Clint produced the USB stick and handed it to Fury, who took it pointedly.

"You got what you were looking for, yes, but an entire day off schedule." Fury said. "Thanks to your alcoholism." He looked at me.

"I am not an alcoholic! I don't exactly get in vodka drinking contests every day. And besides, what difference does one day matter?" That's when Fury pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. "A Russian police report?" I said. "What does this have to do with…?" I trailed off when I saw my name.

Wanted criminal Wendy A. Trescott was seen at a local bar, the Maiden's Bosom. Onlookers report Trescott to have been wearing a blonde wig until she became intoxicated and removed said wig. A team was sent to intercept Trescott, and failed. Five killed, one severely injured.

"Okay. Okay, I see your point." Fury looked at me pointedly. "But, to be fair, we didn't kill those commando guys."

"That's right." Fury said. "That was Wade over there." We followed his gaze to Wade, who was crouched in an office chair in front of one of the computers. We heard an electric beeping, and he pumped his fist in the air.

"Hey!" One of the agents said from the corner. "You beat my high score!" I snickered, but stopped when Fury looked my way. Even with just one eye, he can still glare daggers with the best of 'em.

"Well, what're you going to do about it, then?" I asked. "Send me to my room?"

"You're off the mission." He said simply. That was one thing I wasn't prepared for.

"You've got to be joking." He shook his head. "You need me on this mission!"

"Granted, your specific skill set could be useful. But you need discipline, Trescott. For now let's go back to the way things used to be. You'll forget all about the mission and go about your daily life."

"Excuse me? So, what, are you going to brainwash me?" Fury chuckled.

"No, we're just going to ask that you don't bother us about the mission."

"This isn't funny."

"No, no it isn't. Please leave now, Trescott. I have to discuss this with the agents who are still on the team." I scowled and clenched my fists, the collar buzzing around my neck.

"Fine. You know what? Fine! Good luck without me!" As I stormed out of the room, Wade stood up to follow me.

"Ooh! I love a good storm-out! Wait for me!" He left behind me in a mock-huff. "Well, this bites." He said when the door was closed behind us.

"You're telling me. I guess I'm back to doing chores for privileges."

"Well, where to now?"

"Fury probably wants me back in my room." I looked up to see him staring at me expectantly. "What?" I asked.

"I'm booooooooooored!" He whined. "What do you do for fun up here?"

"Well, I listen to my CDs." By the looks of him that wasn't the answer he wanted. "There's a training room in the lower decks full of mechanical dummies. Go nuts."

"Yippee!" He squealed as he ran off in the direction I was pointing. I probably should have gone back to my room, but whether it was defiance, curiosity, or just plain stupidity, something made me decide to stay. So I folded my arms and leaned against the wall outside the office. The office is soundproofed, so it's not like I could hear anything, but I stayed until they came filing out. First was Pete, who passed me with an awkward, "Hey, I'm sorry." Then Clint came out, his eyes on the ground in front of him. He didn't even look at me; figures. Then Natasha stepped through the doors. She looked stressed, I can't imagine why. She got a few feet away from me, then turned, looked at me and said;

"We didn't tell Fury." I raised one eyebrow.

"Didn't tell him what?"

"About the file. The one full of pictures and information of you. Clint, Pete and I, we all kept our mouths shut."

"Thanks." I said. "That… means a lot."

"Don't tell me you haven't made the connection yet."

"What do you mean?" She turned to leave.

"I think you need to have a chat with your father." She said over her shoulder. I watched her until she turned out of view. Then I took a deep breath. And went to find Phil.