"Rose called," He said into my hair. He carefully pulled me so I was sitting in his lap as close to him as I could be while fully clothed. I couldn't stop the blush from appearing from thinking something inappropriate at a time like this "She and Emmett got your message about Char. They're heading here now but won't be here for awhile. They didn't want you to be alone."

"Well I'll have to thank them- and you!" I was glad to have the company. This day had been horrendous and it felt good to share my worry a little bit although I was surprised that he was here. I would have thought that on a pleasant Friday evening he would be busy on a date or the like- he was extremely good looking after all and I knew that he always had a line of girls chasing him.

"Why didn't you tell me she was so sick?" He asked wiping at the tears that had fallen down my cheeks unbeknownst to me.

I shrugged pathetically "She could die Jasper. It's the reason I have been avoiding you the past few months." And I had every time we were both free at the same time and he wanted to meet Charlotte I'd make up an excuse. Only after I saw his excitement while helping me set up for her arrival did I start to worry about him getting too close to her. If something were to happen to her I didn't think I could deal with my own grief and my family's grief and on top of that his grief- I would never admit it to him but I loved him too much to put him through that.

But now that he was here I wanted to tell him everything that had gone on since she had ended up in my care 3 and a half months ago.

This was her second surgery although it was a week sooner than it had been scheduled for. Carlisle hadn't wanted to wait any longer when her appetite decreased and the cyanosis had appeared again.

"What does she have?" He asked leaning back and a crease of worry appearing between his eyes.

"It's a congenital heart defect called Triscuspid Atresia." I explained calmly allowing the nurse in me to take over. "I should start at the beginning."

I waited for him to nod before continuing.

Flashback

The first time I ever saw Charlotte I couldn't stop the gasp of surprise that escaped me at the sight of this sick newborn- she was only 4 days old and was a mere 4 lbs 12 oz. She looked dwarfed and bluish against the white of the sheet lining the overpowering incubator.

"Bella," Carlisle's crystalline voice rang clear in the quiet NICU ward "I'd like you to meet your newest patient- baby girl doe."

"No name?" I questioned in shock.

"She was left outside the hospital yesterday," He shook his head in dismay. Yesterday had been quite cold and I felt a surge of anger at whoever would leave a sick infant in the cold; at least she was left at the hospital. "She's lucky she was here yesterday because I don't think she would have survived another couple of days at the rate she was deteriorating."

He looked so sad as he peered at her small, prone form. She was hooked to both a heart monitor and pulse oximeter as well as multiple IV's.

As Carlisle continued talking I read through the IV orders and fussed with the tubing making sure everything was secure.

"She has a very bad case of Tricuspid Atresia." He stated "She suffers from both complications a ventricular septal defect and transposition of the great arteries. We've fixed all we can right now and she will be well enough to go to a foster home hopefully by the end of the month."

I thought to myself 15 days in my care that is if they could find her a home where someone could take extremely good care of her health problems.

"She'll be ok Bella." Carlisle smiled at me as he started to leave.

"Why?" I started to ask a question.

"I can see you falling for her already," He teased giving my shoulder a squeeze "I just need you to know we are doing all we can for her but I think that she will be a fiery little girl. She will need at least another two surgeries and possibly more but that doesn't mean she can't live a good, full life."

I nodded and Carlisle left me with my only patient of the night. I sat by her side the whole night every once in a while tracing my fingers along her clammy, cool skin. I needed her to get better, I couldn't explain it but I was drawn to this child.

J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B

13 days since she'd been brought to me and 13 days that I made sure I was with her for at least an hour a day usually during my time off. All the other nurses, especially my friends Kate and Angela, knew that I loved this little girl and I crowed like a proud mama with every obstacle she overcame.

Her eyes were a pale green and her hair a light blonde. In our care she had gained a pound and was much livelier than the first night she was here.

A note that had been attached to the blanket she was dropped off in said she had been born on October 13th, three days before she had come to us and that they couldn't deal with the health problems she obviously had. It begged that we not try to find them- if they decided to they would find her but they had other problems to deal with so just to take care of her the best we could.

Carlisle, the hospital administrators and social workers did release a press release saying that any medical costs accrued by baby girl doe, there had been no name for her anywhere that we could find, would be paid for by the hospital even after her family claimed her and there would be no questions asked if they just came forward.

Social workers had interviewed many candidates to become her foster parents but no one seemed to want to take care of a child with a heart defect like this, that's not to say that someone wouldn't but Seattle's family services had been overwhelmed in recent months and foster families were becoming few and far between.

"Oh Charlotte," I whispered the name that us in the NICU had chosen for her as I picked her up carefully. It was only the third day that Charlotte was strong enough to be moved from the incubator and be held. "What are we going to do with you baby girl?"

"Bella you're not working today are you?" I heard the pleasant voice of Charlotte's social worker Carmine coming from near the desk.

"No, but she needs to be held and socialized with just like any other baby does." I sighed. More and more lately I was wishing I could help her, have her.

"You know Eleazar," She referred to her husband who happened to be one of the administrators at the hospital, "Carlisle and I have been discussing things to do with Charlotte and her future."

I nodded for her to continue and she did "As her case worker I can't take her home with me and while Esme and Carlisle would love to have her, Esme is going to Paris with her sister for a few weeks and the shifts Carlisle has aren't conducive to having a newborn we were wondering if maybe you might like to become her foster parent."

"Car," I started shaking my head "I can't get much more attached to her and if I take her home with me I will never want to give her up and I am not licensed to be a foster parent." I traced a finger along Charlotte's delicate features and the oxygen tubes that were wrapped around her ears.

"We've all agreed that Charlotte is going to need the care of someone who knows what to do with her. She still has a feeding tube and will for a little while longer and we don't know how long she'll have to continue having her oxygen supplemented and we all know she is going to have to have multiple surgeries in the not too distant future." She sighed motioning for me to move Charlotte to her arms.

"But that doesn't change that I won't want to ever give her up." I sighed. I would take her if I was allowed to but if they gave me that chance there was no way I was ever giving her up I already loved her so much.

"Bella, her parents aren't coming forward and even if they did a judge would have a hard time justifying returning custody to them after all of this. As soon as she is healthy enough she will be available for adoption- I'd rather place her with someone I know and trust, who can take care of her needs and loves her enough that they'd consider adopting her. We all agree that you two are connected and that you already love her as if she were your own. Please amour, at least think about it?"

I nodded again, this time in agreement, "I'll think about it Carmine, I promise." She smiled at me knowingly and gently placed Charlotte back in my arms. In my heart I knew that I had already decided to take her.

J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B

"So you're adopting her?" Kate asked tying her blonde hair back in a pony tail as we got ready to go shopping.

"No, not yet at least. I am becoming her foster mother." I explained digging through my closet to find the grey sweater I loved to wear with this outfit. "Hopefully, by the time her second surgery is done I will be able to adopt her."

"But we are shopping for baby things right?" Angela asked as she re-entered my bedroom. These two were some of my closest friends here in Seattle with Rose and Emmett still living in Denver.

"Yup," I nodded in agreement grabbing my purse off the bed "So let's get to it ladies! Charlotte needs some stuff to come home with."

They both grinned and together we headed to my SUV to head to the mall. Carmine and Carlisle were meeting us there because they both insisted that since I was caring for her they help chip in for the necessities.

Kate Denali was actually Carmine and Eleazar's youngest daughter. Like her older sisters, Tanya and Irina, she has the most amazing blonde hair that was always perfectly straight and unlike her sisters who have their father's blue eyes she has Carmine's expressive brown eyes littered with flecks of green. Both her older sisters had gone into modeling and were living in New York and while Kate was beautiful enough to join them she wanted to be like her parents and help those she could.

Angela was a friend from when I had lived in Forks with my father Charlie and her father was the reverend there. She had icy blue eyes that always drew attention although she was quite shy and hair that was so black it looked like she had dark blue highlights in it. She had two younger brothers, identical twins, who were just about to enter the high school and she loved that Seattle was close enough to visit on weekends.

Carmine and Kate are very similar in features with the exception that Carmine has dark brown hair. Carmine and Eleazer moved from Italy many years ago and both still carry slight Italian accents that I can never get enough of hearing.

Carlisle and his wife Esme had pretty much taken Angela and I under their wings as 'children' although they really weren't that much older than us. It was them that I went to when I had any problems I didn't want to talk to my dad about.

Carlisle had almost white blond hair and blue eyes while Esme had caramel hair with soft blond highlights and light brown eyes- I always teased her that it looked like her eyes were almost molten caramel. She was an interior designer and currently away in Paris for some conference.

Carlisle was one of the lead cardiologists in the world and we were lucky to have him at our hospital. He didn't need to work if he didn't wish to though- he came from as some say 'old money' and only worked because it was his passion.

"Darlings" Carmine lilted when we finally pulled into the mall parking lot and met them at the entrance. She pulled us all into hugs and whispered into my ear "I knew you'd make the right decision."

J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B

4 hours and countless shopping bags later I was calling my good friend Jasper to help me set up a crib. I knew he wanted to get together and I assumed that I should tell him that I was 'having' a baby before he randomly arrived at my door one day and saw her.

I had decided to refrain from telling him about the extent of her illness and just enjoy hanging out with him tonight.

Angela and Kate had helped me carry everything up to my 4th storey apartment and I was unpacking some bottles and placing them in the sink so I could clean them when I heard pounding at the door.

"Come in!" I called. I knew it was Jasper and it made my grin widen. I had the hugest crush on my best friend that it wasn't even funny. I also knew that there was no way he would ever feel the same way for me and therefore I was happy to remain his friend.

Our relationship was a little weird and not your typical friendship. We were the best of friends and could talk about anything or nothing, we were always touching and hugging but never took it to a different level, we rarely fought and when we did never remained mad for any extended length of time.

"Bella, is there something you oh I don't know might want to tell me?" His southern drawl snuck through his teasing question. I turned around to find him smirking, amused and pointing at the crib that we'd lain against the wall until I could get it built.

"Hey Jazz!" I grinned moving quickly around the mess my living room had become to hug him tightly.

"Hey darling," He responded hugging me back and kissing the top of my head.

"Something smells good," I said almost moaning. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell of Chinese was wafting up from the bag in his hand.

"Brought the usual," He grinned moving lithely to grab plates "Now you really have some explaining to do." He teased holding up a bottle I had left in the sink. "Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself?" He pointed at my very obviously flat stomach "You're not even showing."

I scoffed playfully grabbing cutlery "And I won't be showing for a long while- I'm not pregnant. I am however becoming a foster parent for an infant that came into the hospital."

His grin just widened and I knew that he accepted what I was doing and was happy for me.

"Well congratulations darlin'" He dished out our food and headed to the couch motioning for me to join him. "You'll take good care of it."

"Her." I corrected smiling "Her name is Charlotte and if all goes to plan she'll be my adopted daughter within 6 months."

His eyes widened slightly in surprise but he just nodded.

Our evening was relatively calm and he helped me set up her nursery happily. At the end of the night we parted with a large hug and promises to see each other soon. I knew in my heart I wouldn't though. I didn't want him to get attached to Charlotte and then if she got even sicker and anything happened to her.

Was it selfish? Ya. Was I going to miss my best friend? Of course I was. Was I already starting to regret the decision to not tell him? Hell yes. Did it hurt that I was keeping things from him? Duh. Was any of this going to make me change my decision? Nope, cause I am just that stubborn.

Present

"Wait," Jasper held up a hand to interrupt me for the first time since I began "So you knew how sick she was when I was there that night?"

I nodded and my cheeks flamed again.

"Oh Bella," He sighed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered saddened that I had made him upset with me.

"Bella I get that you were trying to protect my feelings but I just wish you would have told me so that I could have helped and been more supportive." He hugged me tighter and the sobs wracked my body again.

Here he was learning that I had withheld the truth of the situation from him and he was saying the only reason he's hurt is because he couldn't have supported me more.

What did I do to deserve a friend like him?