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65 Toms POV
I stayed exactly where I was and didn't even move until I was sure that everyone had gone home. I only knew because Danny, Harry and Dougie came up to say goodnight. "night Tom, see you in the morning, have a good sleep." Harry smiled, I think. I couldn't see him, my face was still pressed into my pillow, it was almost suffocating, but I was used to it by now. "night Tom, cheer up a little, yeah? Your home, think about that, your home!" Dougie made a Chewbacca noise, and I secretly smiled. "night Tom, I'll be round in the morning. You have a nice sleep, yeah? And please try to go downstairs and eat something, I've put the roast in the microwave, so you just have to heat it up. Night Tom, tomorrow will be better, I promise." Danny pulled the covers over me, kissing my hair, walking out with the other two, closing the door.
As soon as I heard the front door close, I burst into tears, filled with pain and fear. This was so hard, trying to ignore the people I loved the most, it was so difficult, I didn't know how I managed it so far. All I wanted was to jump into their arms and never let go, go back to being happy again, being best friends again. I wanted to forget that they only felt sorry for me, and think they actually loved me like I loved them, have that happy life I had thought I had had before. Guilt filled up inside me again, I didn't deserve all this, this house, this band, these supposed friends, I didn't deserve any of it.
Scrambling out of bed, I ran to grab my still packed backpack, grabbing Mickey Mouse again too, sprinting to the front door. I had to get out of here, I had to get away from this, go back to the life I actually deserved. The door was locked, and there were no keys anywhere either to unlock it. I cried out and ran off to find an open window, the desperation to get out getting so bad I was almost having a panic attack. I tried every window in the house, and the back doors, finding that they were all locked, and all the keys had been taken away.
"no! No let me out! Let me out!" I screamed, banging on the door, hysterical tears falling down my face. No-one seemed to hear me, or care, because no-one came to see what was happening in here. My sobs were choking me, I could hardly breathe anymore as I slid down the door into a mess of tears on the floor. "let me out please, please let me out." I cried, trying to force air into my lungs, unable to even breathe. I was locked inside my own house, a prisoner by all accounts, unable to go anywhere. Why was this happening to me? Why was I locked inside my own house? Didn't everyone want me to run away again so I was out of their hair? Was it just easier to keep me here, so people knew exactly where I was?
Panic was completely filling me up inside now, I had to find something to release myself from panic! Somehow, I stumbled to my feet, running to a draw and finding a sharp knife, running upstairs and into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and falling over again. With a shaking hand, I pressed the knife to my arm, cutting a jagged line across my wrist, feeling a bit relieved to see the blood flow out of my arm. Slowly, as the blood flowed, I calmed down, until I was breathing again, just crying silently to myself.
67 Harrys POV
Danny practically ran into Toms house the next day, quickly unlocking all the doors and windows again. We had locked everything up last night and taken the keys with us, terrified Tom was going to try and run away again during the night, and so far, because everything was still locked, it looked like he was in the house.
"oh cr*p, the food is still in the microwave. Looks like Tom didn't eat last night." Danny sighed, chucking the plates contents in the bin. "he might have eaten something else, you never know." I encouraged, he needed to be cheery for when Tom woke up, if he wasn't just hiding away already. "yeah, or he can't eat yet. You know it takes a while for Tom to get used to things, it might just be nerves." Dougie joined in, and I knew he was trying to convince himself of that as well as Danny. "maybe, won't stop me worrying though." Danny looked so disheartened, this was going to be so hard on him. I knew that he wanted Tom to come home and everything to be back to normal again, to have the boy we knew and loved back straight away, it was breaking his heart to see him so unresponsive, and it hadn't even been a full day yet.
"I'm going to go wake him up, can you guys make breakfast?" Danny asked, and we agreed, watching him slope off upstairs. "looks like we're going to have to look after him as well now." Dougie whispered, putting toast in the toaster. "yeah, we might have to, but, you never know, Danny might be just fine." I encouraged again, giving him a hug. "I hope so, its going to be hell if they're both depressed." Dougie bit his lip, nuzzling into my chest. The toast popped up so I buttered it and put it in the microwave, almost knowing that in the time it was going to take Danny to wake Tom up, breakfast was going to go cold.
After another 10 minutes of just standing there, we gave up and went upstairs, finding Tom and Danny sitting in the music room. Tom was playing his guitar, the tune sounded a bit off, but that was to be expected, it wasn't like he was going to be perfect like usual after a year out. Danny was talking quietly to him, sitting about a foot away from the blonde crouched in the corner, who was blatantly trying to ignore the brunette. "hey, breakfast is ready. Its waiting downstairs if you want it." I winced as I broke their moment, well, half moment. It seemed like a moment for Danny, not Tom. I could almost see the mental walls he was building around himself, blocking himself out from us, keeping himself isolated and on his own.