A/N:
I like your reviews so much you guys - they're giving me new ideas all the time. Feel free to leave suggestions in the reviews! I love exploring new thoughts :D I love this chapter so much; I've enjoyed writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it! Please make sure you leave me your thoughts on the plot and how it's going and some constructive criticism wouldn't be so bad as well, enjoy!~
After Lexie had gotten ready, she swung the door open and wheeled herself out. Derek appeared from around the corner, apparently leaving the kitchen and grinned down at her. "Here," He offered her a glass of orange juice and a cookie. Lexie looked down and lifted her brows, "Trust me, this is the last food you'll be having for a long time so you eat it now." Derek nodded once at her with a smile and then stepped behind her to wheel her forward into the living room. Lexie glanced around and tilted her head, "Where's Meredith?" She asked and looked up at Derek as he put on his coat.
"She's asleep, Lexie. It's past midnight." He whispered in a hushed tone. Lexie gaped at him momentarily before she looked down at her food and guzzled down the juice. Derek took the glass from her and put it in the kitchen. When he was back, he'd gotten Lexie's jacket from the coat rack and helped her put it on. Derek wheeled Lexie out of the house and locked it carefully, before he pushed her down the ramp they'd set up for her and towards the car.
Once they were all settled in and ready to go, Lexie glanced sideways at Derek, prying her lips away from the cookie she was nibbling on profusely, "So where exactly are you taking me?" She asked and lifted a brow when he glanced sideways at her but remained silent, "Derek!" She exclaimed in demand, "I hope this is not some secret plan you and Mark did."
"I'm hurt, Lexie." Derek shook his head once and shrugged, "You know I wouldn't do that."
"Then what is it?" She asked again, pressing.
"Just wait and see."
And with that, all discussion inside the car was silent. Lexie huffed and folded one arm over her chest as she shoved the rest of the cookie inside of her mouth. Derek was smiling the whole way in. When they arrived at the hospital, Lexie scowled as she turned to look at Derek, opening her mouth to start complaining before he shushed her once, "No, this is not a secret physical therapy session or a late night trauma counselor appointment."
"Then what is it?" Lexie threw her hands above her head, her voice leaving her lips with a frantic tone that made Derek shake his.
"Remember Isaac?" Derek demanded and lifted a brow. Lexie blinked once and tilted her head, skimming through names she knew, "The technician with the inoperable tumor!" Lexie exclaimed once when the name popped up in her mind and she frowned, "Is he okay? Did the tumor recur?"
"No, no…" Derek shook his head once, and then he grinned once, "You've seen that surgery."
"Of course I did. I wore a diaper in that surgery." Lexie scowled at Derek and tilted her head. "Where are you heading at Derek?"
"It's going to be great, I promise." Derek nodded once before he climbed out of the car and unloaded Lexie's wheelchair from the trunk, easing her into it before he wheeled her into the hospital. Oddly enough, he went through the ER doors, and Lexie stared up at him with narrowed eyes the whole time. Derek wasted no time into wheeling her into the neuro department, and into one of the patient rooms.
Lexie saw the back of a wheel chair, and a woman turned to her, eyes all brown and warm, sun-kissed skin, her ebony hair pulled up in a ponytail. It was like Pocahontas was a patient in the hospital, except instead of standing tall, she was seated into the wheel chair – like Lexie. The younger Grey looked up at Derek and shook her head slowly. What was this?
"Paulina, this is Doctor Grey – she's a resident here in the hospital despite the fact that she's not working now." Derek introduced before he looked down at Lexie, "This is Paulina Gomez. She suffers from a tumor much like Isaac's, only it's pressing between the L1 and L2 and extends down to the cauda equina, hence why she's in a wheelchair."
Lexie stared at Derek for a minute before she looked down at the…great case she was witnessing. A tumor like Isaac's was rare to exist, and it wasn't even advanced enough to cause paralysis – but this? Lexie didn't read the chart or see the scans, but what she has heard and witnessed on a similar case, this tumor's existence was almost a miracle.
"She has the face." Paulina laughed in an exotic accent, and Lexie blinked out of her haze before she looked down at Paulina with an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry…It's just, your tumor is…"
"Rare and huge and cool." Paulina finished with a knowing smile, "It is also inoperable." She muttered then looked up at Derek, "But when I heard about Doctor Shepherd, I knew it was a chance I shouldn't be missing. Plus, I look at him and I know it wasn't a choice I would regret." Paulina looked up at Derek who laughed and shook his head. Lexie felt warm as she settled into the atmosphere around her. It has been ages since she's talked to patients. She was always the patient.
"I always knew I'd be facing some competition with you, Doctor Shepherd." Another quiet gruff voice interrupted, and Lexie glanced over her shoulder at the tall man who just walked in, looking in his thirties. He was so different from Paulina. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and the fact that the smile on his face didn't touch his eyes. Lexie pursed her lips as he moved around them to press a small kiss on Paulina's forehead and then settled back into the seat he'd dragged from beside the bed, taking her hand within his as he held the cup of coffee in his other hand.
"It's…nice to meet you, Paulina." Lexie smiled as she reached forward to shake her hand. Paulina did so with a smile before she glanced sideways at the man seated beside her, "This is Justin, my boyfriend." Paulina introduced as she placed a hand over his arm, and he smiled, turning back to look at her before he looked forward again at them.
"In less than an hour, Paulina will be prepped for surgery – and we're going to be removing her tumor." Derek explained before he stood straight again, getting into Shepherd mode. "As I have explained before, there are many risks to this surgery, mainly paralysis." Derek explained and went on for the next five minutes repeating the protocol. Lexie remained silent through the whole speech, listening intently herself – because she was interested. It has been months since she neared information, let alone like this.
"It's okay, Doctor Shepherd. No backing out now. I'm going to be walking down that aisle." Paulina said, and Lexie's eyes snapped up to her, widening momentarily before Derek nodded and wheeled Lexie out of the room.
"Is this what all of this is about?! Did you drag me here to make some sort of pity intervention? Make me feel bad? Or I don't know; condemn me back into physical therapy?" Lexie whispered at him urgently, her voice furious.
Derek remained silent as he wheeled her into the viewing room and hung up the scans. Lexie was momentarily distracted by the size of the tumor, "Whoa.." She exhaled in disbelief and stared at the tumor, her curiosity taking the better of her.
"I didn't bring you here to make you feel bad about your decisions, Lexie." Derek started calmly as he stood beside her and crossed his arms over his chest, before lifting one hand to touch the scans, "I brought you here because this is a great opportunity for you to learn." He explained briefly and Lexie looked up at him, briefly touched by this. She smiled a little, "What, you're sneaking me into the gallery?" She teased once and lifted a brow.
"Oh no, I'm sneaking you into primary resident assistant." Derek said with a broad grin on his face, and Lexie's eyes widened for a minute, words refusing to form in her mind. It wasn't that Lexie was particularly eloquent or anything, but this very moment, it was like someone stuck a scalpel into her Wernick's area of her brain. Lexie couldn't process or speak for a minute.
"Breathe, Lexie." Derek chuckled and Lexie exhaled.
"Are you serious?" Lexie managed to come up with those words – those lame, little words.
"Have I ever not been serious?" Derek lifted a brow before he heard a knock on the door. They both turned back to the intern holding neatly folded, pale blue scrubs in his hand. Derek walked towards him and smiled gratefully, "Thank you, Ross. Go scrub in. You're my doctor, okay?" Ross nodded once and ran back into the hallways. Derek turned back to Lexie, "Get in your scrubs, Doctor Grey. I expect to see you in OR three in a few minutes – we're going to be seated during this one and the operating table will be lowered so you and I can work on this." Derek placed the scrubs in Lexie's lap, "You're not missing out on your fifth resident year, Lexie." He grinned at her and then left the room.
Lexie stared after him for a minute. Derek Shepherd was the best brother ever.
Lexie didn't have time to find the residents room so she locked the door of the examine room and got into her scrubs. Within the scrubs was an adult diaper – and Lexie laughed her ass of at that, but she put it on nevertheless. As she wheeled herself out, she saw an intern scurrying around, "Hey, you!" Lexie called out and the wide, eyed intern looked back at her. "Come, wheel me to OR three please, and keep these with you." Lexie instructed as she gave her the clothes she'd been wearing and let the intern wheel her away. "Thank you," Lexie started and eyed the name on the lab coat, "Heather." Lexie smiled at her amicably and the intern nodded once as she left the room. Lexie stood outside of the OR, collecting her hair up in the scrub cap as the nurses and a resident came, pushing Paulina in the bed and towards the OR doors. Paulina and Justin kissed, before they pushed her in. Lexie almost followed while the doors were still open, but she stopped when she saw Justin looking helpless. "She's going to be fine. We're going to make sure of it." Lexie started gently.
"She doesn't have to walk, you know?" Justin started and looked down at Lexie. The hurt in his blue eyes struck her with the familiarity. She'd seen this before. It sent a shiver down her spine and a painful stab into her chest. "But she wants to walk so bad…" He muttered, "I just…I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to be in pain. I would do…anything for her." Justin started, "I almost took her out of the hospital last night. I didn't care if she hated me – but if she dies on that table, I don't know what I will do."
Lexie had to interfere immediately before he became a mess. She grabbed his hand and pursed her lips, "Justin," She started and tilted her head, "No matter what you did or would have done, she would still love you. But you need to let her make her own decisions. It's risky, what she's doing now. But in a way, somehow, a positive thing will come out of this. Trust me when I tell you, she's doing this for you." Lexie nodded with smile, and then felt the weight of the stupidity of what she's been doing the past week fall down on her. Lexie groaned in disbelief. What had she done? Did the world have to send her replicas of herself and Mark in form of Pocahontas and John Smith just so she could see how…fragile she really is?
"What? What is it?" Justin demanded with a frown.
"It's nothing!" Lexie shook her head quickly, "I just realized I forgot my favorite scrub cap in my locker." Lexie shrugged once and smiled, "Go to the waiting room. We'll send you updates when we can."
As Justin left, Lexie put her face in her hands before she fisted her hand and hit her head once, twice…
"Hey, stop that. I need your hands and your head in top shape." She heard Derek joke as he waked towards her and handed her a mini-bottle of water. Lexie pursed her lips and guzzled down the whole bottle before she exhaled and looked up at Derek through narrowed, "You are manipulative." She commented briefly as he wheeled her into the scrub room. Derek laughed, "Me?" He asked in a fraud innocent tone and grabbed the small soap bar, handing one to Lexie. He let her scrub first, then moved her from her wheelchair into the sterile chair by the operating table, letting the scrub nurses gown her up as he went back to scrub as well.
Once they were both seated, the LED head torches lit, Derek asked for the ten blade, "It's a beautiful evening to save lives, everyone." He announced and Lexie could see the smile beneath his mask as he made the first cut. It was hard to move around the lower back – after all, it was the most intricate part of the spinal cord.
Derek and Lexie found the tumor in no time, and they both proceeded with isolating, clipping and cauterizing the arteries that fed the tumor. It was a long process and there were too much arteries. Whenever they managed to isolate one, her stats would drop and the nerves would numb, the monitors going wild. It had been a long time since Lexie heard a monitor go crazy inside an OR, and it certainly didn't do her good to walk in without orientation after such a long time. But Derek trusted her, and she didn't ever want to disappoint him.
It had been seventeen hours, and Lexie sighed tiredly, tilting her head sideways to crack her neck. No one threw up this time, and Ross made sure they were hydrated every so often. Of course, Derek didn't protest at all, and Lexie knew she could take part of the credit for that. Every hour, Ross ran out to give updates then came back. Lexie knew they were almost done because the tumor almost lost the terrifying flare to it.
"Alright, here it is." Derek sighed once as they exposed the arteries that were intertwined onto each other. It was just like Isaac's. "I had hopes this last step wouldn't be so annoying." Derek muttered and frowned as he looked up at Lexie, before he pursed his lips. "Doctor Grey," He started loudly and she looked up at him, again finding that almost terrifying McDreamy look in his eyes. "Which artery?" Derek asked as he held out the tool for her.
"What?" Lexie's eyes widened and she heard the whispers arising around her.
"Which artery, Doctor Grey?" Derek demanded again, his tone pressing. Lexie grit her teeth once as she looked down again. Hesitantly, she reached out and took the tool from Derek's hand, and reached forward to hover it over the arteries. "Which artery…which artery…" Lexie chanted under her breath as she stared down at the flesh beneath her eyes.
Lexie heard the monitors going crazy again over Paulina's nerve function but Lexie closed her eyes, toning out everything around her, visualizing nothing but the anatomy of the central nervous system, the tumors anatomy, and all the arteries they'd clipped – their places, their positions. Her mind put it all together like a graphic model and then she opened her eyes and looked down at arteries again. Confidently, she wrenched the tool in, holding the cautery in her other hand. With one swift motion, she clipped the artery. The monitors were silence, and Lexie relaxed, a small, joyous laugh leaving her lips.
"Suction, please." Lexie demanded confidently and glanced up at Derek, who nodded once at her, his eyes flooded with pride. After he'd cleared her area of work, she cauterized the artery. Then everyone started clapping, "We're not done yet." He announced with a slight laugh, and he was right. They still needed to extract the tumor and test her nerve responses. But the hard part was done. It was over.
The mass was out, and Derek & Lexie stepped away for a minute to drink some water and stretch. Or Derek stepped away, and Ross dragged Lexie's seat back. Lexie sighed once, a little jealous of Derek's ability to walk around and stretch his legs before she looked down at her own legs and pursed her lips. A week without physical therapy surely wasn't the answer to all her problems. Lexie again reminded herself of the words she'd said to Justin, and then she looked down at Paulina – still unconscious, lying face down, but simply tumorless. It was the moment of truth now. The moment to decide whether the effort she and Derek put into removing the tumor was worth it or simply just a waste. It was the moment to realize if Paulina's decision to go on with the surgery now was wise and justified, or whether Justin was right about everything all along. About taking her away. About not caring if she decided that she should stay away from him for no reason at all. About him making decisions for her own good.
Lexie stared down at Paulina's feet as they uncovered them. Derek held the probe that should send the electrical signal directly into the L1 & L2. "Charging signal…" He muttered, and Lexie's eyes zeroed down on the tan toes. "Sent."
After a long moment…the toes didn't even twitch. "Come on, Paulina." Lexie whispered under her breath.
"Higher charge." Derek demanded, "Charging." And then placed the probe close to the nerves, the quiet zap announcing the arrival of the signal, but her toes didn't twitch. Lexie pursed her lips as she took a deep breath and looked down at Paulina. After a few more trials with higher charges in each, Derek sighed and put the probe away. "We're going to wait till she wakes up." Derek announced and glanced sideways at Lexie, "You did a great job, Doctor Grey." Derek said and Lexie glanced sideways at him, smiling briefly before she looked down again.
"Close up, Ross." Derek asked before he got up and helped Lexie out of the OR, back into the wheelchair that was waiting in the scrub room. Lexie ripped the gloves from her hands and removed the gown from onto her. Derek watched her carefully as she remained silent, deep in thought. Once they were both out of their gowns, Derek wheeled Lexie out of the scrub room and they both went to the waiting room.
When Justin saw them, he shot up onto his feet and gauged their faces. "What? What is it?"
"The tumor has been removed." Derek started with a cheerful tone, "Paulina will not be in pain anymore."
"But we tested her response to movement, and her legs didn't move. There's a possibility of paralysis, but we have to wait till she's awake." Lexie explained again and they both stared at Justin, trying to judge how exactly he would react.
Lexie smiled when Justin hugged Derek, "Thank you!" He exclaimed breathlessly, apparently not finding any words to say. When he hugged Lexie though, she gasped, surprised, "And thank you." Justin pressed as he looked down at her, "Even if she gets paralyzed, I won't leave her. I'll be there for her. Thank you." He said again as he straightened up and looked at Derek, "Can I see her?" Derek nodded with a smile and looked down at Lexie, "Go. I have…something to do."
Derek then left Lexie with a knowing look on his face. He knew exactly what the younger Grey had to do. Mission accomplished.
Lexie went to intern locker room, finding Heather asleep on one of the benches. "Heather," She whispered, "My clothes." Lexie demanded and the intern clambered onto her feet before she got up and opened her locker, handing Lexie her clothes. Lexie entered the bathroom and locked herself in. Getting out of the scrubs and the diaper, cleaning up, and getting dressed was a long process – but she'd managed. She'd managed on her own, and she hated that she had to do it on her own.
Lexie braided her wet hair and let it hang over her shoulder as she tossed the scrubs into the basket and the diaper into the trash, and then she wheeled herself into the elevator. Lexie realized that she didn't ask Derek whether he'd told Hunt about having her as his assistant, but she was too tired right now. She was too tired and too focused on doing one thing.
Ross saw her on her way out and offered to wheel her across the street. Lexie really admired the new batch of interns – they weren't as selfish or as twisted as her own or Meredith's was. With a brief thank you, Lexie wheeled herself into another elevator and waited.
In no time, the younger Grey was standing in front of the door and reached up to knock and ring the bell. And she kept doing it for the next two minutes until finally; a rather wet Mark opened the door. Lexie's lips parted for a minute in shock as she assessed his appearance. The water droplets fell around his jawline and across his chin, dripping over his chest. Her eyes drifted down to the towel that hung loosely around his hips. She could see the sharp hipbones angled downwards and the tips of the dark patch in the middle, before her eyes drifted up to meet Mark's again.
"I'll do it." She spoke out, loud and clear. "I'll go to the counselor." Lexie pursed her lips and nodded quickly. "You were right. I'm too fragile. I don't think. My decisions are stupid and I'll end up not walking again. And that will kill me, and it will hurt you, and I can't be the reason of your hurting. And I can't be away from you. So I'll go, Mark. I'll be better. I fought to stay alive for you. So I'm going to be better for you. Because I love you. God…I love you so much.." Lexie exhaled and took in another quick breath to speak again, but Mark interrupted her by reaching down and pulling her out of the wheel chair to press her against the door frame as his arms wrapped around her and he pressed his lips to hers.
Lexie smiled as her arms fell around his neck, and she felt his tongue running over her lips so she parted them to allow him some access. Lexie didn't mind getting wet by Mark's body – right now, her body felt like it was on fire, sizzling against Mark's cool skin. Her heart was ready to jump out of her chest.
"Whoa..I didn't sign up for this." Callie commented out loud as she opened her door. Lexie and Mark broke away but Mark didn't let go of her and they both glanced sideways at Callie, who almost seemed joyous at the sight of these two. Arizona was standing behind her, laughing.
"What are you two doing here anyways? Don't you have work?" Mark asked and lifted a brow. Lexie tilted her head as she glanced sideways at Mark. So he and Callie were speaking again? Lexie smiled at that.
"We were doing a little of what you do were doing." Callie grinned at Mark as she adjusted her scrubs and started towards the elevator, Arizona following after quickly. Once Mark and Lexie were left alone again, Mark tilted his head back to stare at Lexie, with his hand, he stroked away one of the strands that fell on her face. "I love you. I never meant to hurt you with what I said, I was just-"
"I know, Mark. I know." Lexie sighed once and relaxed a little, leaning into his arms as Mark leaned forwards again to press his lips to hers. When Lexie's phone broke the silence, Lexie laughed at Mark when he scowled and she pulled out her phone, answering it immediately when she read the caller's ID. "Derek?" She answered quickly.
"She's awake, Lexie. She's moving her legs. You did it." Derek said quickly and Lexie laughed, glancing sideways at Mark who couldn't help but grin at the joy he saw on her face but tilt his head in curiosity. "We did it." She smiled into the found and sighed in relief.
"I just thought you needed to know. Tell Mark I said hi."
Lexie gasped, "How did you know?" She demanded but couldn't help but grin.
"What did you think this was all about? Aside from the fact that I was a great teacher today, I was also an awesome brother. Now don't let me keep you from…whatever you two are doing." Derek finished off and she could literally see the smile on his face as she hung up. Lexie shoved the phone back into her pocket and looked up at Mark, "Your friend is really manipulative."
"And so I've been told." Mark muttered with a grin as he pressed his lips against hers, his hands snaking around her as he hitched her up and held her legs around his waist. "Let's go continue that shower.." He whispered into her lips and pulled the wheelchair in, shutting the door and disappearing into the bathroom. Lexie giggle sounded off in the whole apartment, "Mark!" She squealed, and Mark only laughed, his voice muffled…probably against her skin.