A/N: I promised a certain someone smut, and lots of it, but I write too slowly…so I'll post the next part in a few hours…I hope what I ended up giving you all in this part is awesome enough that you don't hate me for the delay…PS: Please tell me what you think…

Witnessing Justin baffled and desperate (to keep Brian in his apartment), Brian tried to remain impassive, but a hint of a smile crept out behind the mask. He started removing his outer coat once more.

Just as Justin's initial wave of panic (induced by Brian's nearly leaving) receded, a second wave of panic surged forward (induced by Brian's staying). In this moment, he realized two things. First, he had no closet within which to safely house Brian's doubtless very expensive Prada overcoat. Second, even if he had had such a closet, he owned no hangers.

Justin's face burned as he walked quickly over to where Brian was standing and retrieved the coat from him. He glanced around the room frantically, searching for somewhere safe to put it. Every piece of their furniture was covered in something … Daphne's hair, which she was constantly shedding (how that was possible without seeming to make a dent in her copious curls he did not know); Cheetos dust; cookie crumbs; and a lovely mixture of dirt, gravel, and macerated leaves (dragged in from outside). He ended up opening his bedroom door and hanging it over the edge that jutted out. Justin turned back around and smiled weakly. When it came time for Brian to undress that door was going to be heavily laden.

Justin started fiddling with his fingers. "So … ummm … would you like a drink?"

Brian's eyes were wide and filled with amusement. He bit back a smile and nodded slowly. He was going to enjoy watching Justin bend over backwards to try to be a good host.

Justin cleared his throat and headed into the kitchen. He opened the fridge hoping to find a beer. Apparently Daphne had drunk the last one. Probably a good thing after all. They'd decided to save money that week by purchasing Old Milwaukee. And there was nothing else. Not even the orange juice they'd paired with the peach schnapps to make fuzzy navels the week before. Justin sighed, shut the fridge, and opened the adjacent cupboard. Well, they still had half a bottle of schnapps. He grabbed a glass out of the wire rack for air drying dishes. And … nearly dropped it because a sizable cockroach was crawling around the rim. Justin winced. Time to call the landlord for another bug spraying. He snagged the roach between his thumb and index finger … and squeezed until guts came out. Then he tossed the roach into the trash, rewashed the glass, and poured Brian two fingers of schnapps.

When Justin turned around, he yelped and nearly dropped the glass. Brian had followed Justin into the kitchen and had apparently watched all the preceding events transpire … from fridge contents to roach.

Justin placed his free hand on his chest and laughed. "Brian! Don't DO that!" He handed Brian the glass and walked past Brian back into the living room. His face burned even hotter. He couldn't bear to watch Brian take the first sip.

Good thing, too. Because Brian had not seen what Justin had poured him. And he was so surprised that he nearly choked. When he'd managed to shunt the liqueur down the correct pipe, he looked inside the glass … and made a face. Justin might as well have poured him pig's blood. When Justin reached the couch and sat down (and could thus see Brian once more), Brian plastered a fake smile on his face and said, "Mmmm. Fruity."

Justin started laughing. He covered his eyes with his hands. This was a nightmare.

Brian looked back down at the contents of the glass. He could just dump them into the sink and have done … but whatever its flaws, it WAS alcohol. Brian thought, "Fuck it" and downed the rest. He grimaced but swallowed. Then he set the glass on the counter and re-entered the living room. He walked over to the couch but did not sit down. He really didn't want to risk the couch or the chair. He looked around for a 'clean' spot. He decided the coffee table was probably okay, being wood and all, so he shoved over the amorphous pile of Cosmos, sketches, and take-out menus and sat down, as it turned out, directly in front of Justin.

Justin looked up at Brian (he had re-emerged from the safety of his hands) and said, "So … here we are."

Brian nodded. He glanced back at the pile beside him. A Cosmo was sitting on top. The front cover advertised a quiz.

Brian picked the magazine up and flipped through until he found the page. "Hmmm …"

Justin's face burned so much at that point he thought it might melt off. "Uh … Brian? Whatcha doing?"

"Finding out if I'm a secret bitch."

Justin laughed. Loud. "WHAT?"

Brian did not look up. In a completely nonchalant tone, he read, "Your little sister is in high school and feels extremely insecure about her looks. When she calls for advice, you … hmmm … "

He surveyed the choices.

"Yup … definitely suggest a nose, chin, and brow job."

Justin's eyes widened. He was so stunned he just gaped. It was like witnessing your parents doing the 'deed' – totally incomprehensible.

Brian continued, "Your boyfriend buys you a piece of 'jewelry'" He stopped and looked up at Justin. He made a bad-smell face. "Don't ever do that."

"What?"

"Buy me jewelry."

"Oh."

Brian continued, "… that looks like dried berries on a piece of twine. You immediately… a) Force a thank you and then compost it when he leaves, b) laugh hard and then hold out your hand for the real gift, or c) throw your arms around him and pretend to love it."

Brian made a thinking face and looked up and to the right before returning his eyes to Justin. "C is TOTALLY out. I think I could manage A."

Brian got up, still reading the magazine, walked back into the kitchen, poured himself another schnapps, and then returned to his perch on the coffee table. "Your favorite phrase is … a) Namaste. AS IF. b) I'm not here to make friends." Brian smirked, looked up at Justin, and nodded.

Justin shook his head. That's exactly what Brian had said to Justin when Justin was worried about upsetting the art director's feelings (back when the director was treating Justin like a gopher).

"Doesn't matter what c is. Definitely b. You're on a first date with a smoking hot guy from Tinder." Brian paused to shake his head in disapproval and take a big swig of his schnapps. He decided it really wasn't that bad. Not if you gulped it down fast. "This would never happen to me."

Justin giggled. "Like a young girl would ever turn to you for advice, either. And you don't need to finish the quiz. I mean, come on."

Brian narrowed his eyes. "Come on, what?" His voice was suddenly serious.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Well, obviously … you're …"

Brian tilted his head slightly. His eyes held menace. "Obviously I'm what?"

Justin cleared his throat nervously and tried to hide his grin. "Nothing. Nothing."

Brian nodded. "That's right. Only this quiz can make a TRUE assessment of my nature. So … I'm on a DATE. Whatever. He tells me he's a middle school gym teacher." Brian actually covered his mouth to prevent a fit of giggles from bursting out.

Justin smiled uncomfortably. "What's so funny?"

Brian shook his head and repeated "a middle school gym teacher." Then he downed the rest of the schnapps and set the glass on the floor. "None of the responses here would work … I think I'll just default to rudeness."

"Brian? What was so funny?"

Brian continued to ignore Justin. "Calculating now …" Brian's voice went up two octaves and filled with excitement. "Ooo … I'm a 'sassy' bitch." He looked up and to the side again, as though he were pondering this revelation. Then he turned back to Justin. "I agree. I AM a sassy bitch."

"Brian? Still waiting for an answer."

Brian cleared his throat. And shrugged. And then finally muttered, "One popped my cherry."

"What?"

Brian sighed. Deeply. Then he repeated, more clearly and a bit louder. "A. Middle. School. Gym. Teacher. Popped. My. Cherry."

Justin's eyes were suddenly as wide as saucers. They nearly popped out of his head. "Wait? You weren't … actually IN middle school at the time …"

Brian smirked but said nothing.

"OH MY GOD! How old were you?"

"14."

"Holy shit!" Then after a long pause, he added, "He took advantage of you! He was a teacher!"

Brian nodded. "Fuck yeah he was …"

Justin laughed dismissively. "Seriously, Brian. That was totally uncool of him."

Brian shrugged. "He was hot. Had to be somebody."

Justin asked softly, "Did you guys date?" He knew how fucked up it was, but he was a little jealous.

Brian scoffed. "No."

"Was it just the one time?"

Brian nodded. "Yup."

"Where did it happen?"

"Showers."

"How …"

"It was after school. He was all naked soaping himself up. I came back for something."

"And …"

"He turned when he heard me. But he didn't turn away or shut the water off and grab a towel. He watched me and started soaping his dick, getting it good and hard. He had this weird look in his eyes. I was mesmerized. I walked right in, completely dressed. Then I dropped to my knees and started sucking his dick."

"Holy crap!" Justin bit his lip to stop himself from commenting.

Brian continued, "He stopped me after a few minutes and started stripping off my clothes. Before I knew it, he had me up against the wall …"

"Sounds more like a scene from a porno than a first time …"

Brian scoffed. "You fucked a stranger in an alley. Hardly from a Jane Austen novel."

"No, not Jane Austen. But not a porno, either."

Brian quirked an eyebrow.

Justin's voice dropped and he smiled softly. "It was … I don't even know. The way he looked at me. I mean, it was dark, but I could see his eyes. He wanted me, really wanted me, but they were, I don't know … kind … And he seemed to know it was my first time. He was passionate, but gentle when it came to …"

Brian smirked and supplied … "the fucking?"

Justin smiled again. "Yeah. And I don't know … the way he kissed me. It was almost like …" He lifted his head slightly, and his eyes met Brian's. Suddenly Justin seemed to be in a hypnotic trance. He held Brian's gaze and repeated slowly, softly, "It was almost like …"

Brian saw a flash of recognition then.

Justin's eyes widened. "Brian! You …"

Brian stopped breathing.

"It was you!"