Before I begin the chapter, I want you all to know that as sad as the beginning may seem, there will be a happy ending, so please don't stop reading until the end.
CHAPTER 28
PRIDE
V'S POV
Never, since I had begun working on the Kira case had I thought I would be here. Since I started the case I vowed I would not let anything happen to L, and yet here I stood in front of a grave with a cross at sunset.
I remember the moments of his death. Oh how they haunt me.
FLASHBACK
Hmm, so I was right, L was going to take my advice after all.
He was going to test the notebook. If I am right about the rules being fake also, then we would only have further evidence against Kira. All is going according to plan.
And yet I could not shake off this strange feeling. It was that . . . too right feeling. The feeling so right to the monster inside me that it was bad. I did not understand it, but I did know it was the same kind of feeling I had when Kira was bleeding. Was someone else bleeding? I could only hope it was not Kira again, for anyone else's blood would be fine. The exception being L.
"We're very close!" L growled at Mr. Yagami, silencing his protests and bringing me out of my own thoughts. "If we work this out, the entire case will be solved."
Crash, erupted the lightning, but it was not the sound that had me turning around. It was the presents of the creature with a glowing red eye standing behind me. Something is wrong.
Suddenly all lights were out, and computer screens flashed from information and architect designs to bright white with the words 'All dada deleted'. Something had happened to Watari. What is going on?
I frowned in deep confusion, an emotion I was not at all fond of, and looked around the room. The Shinigami, Rem. What has it done? Has it decided to kill use? Though I was safe, I knew the others would not be.
. . . This is Kira's plan. He has tricked them all, and has used the Shinigami. If he wants only one person dead, that would be . . .
L.
"Everyone! The Shiniga—" He did not finish. Immediate panic struck my brain as I whipped around, watching as he spoon he had been holding slipped from his slender finger and thumb, along with it his body tipped over the left.
I wanted to do something. I wanted to catch him, stare sadly into his eyes as they gently closed, but all of this was a haunted experience granted to Kira himself. The very man to put L in his current position. Despite the way I feel for Kira, and what he was doing, taking this role as the last person L will ever see again was, in every way, his own right. He would kneel there and watch as he took the very soul he had been longing to take since he began as Kira.
I could not hate him for that, because I used to do the same thing. And if I am being completely honest with myself, in some way, I still am doing it.
But all this did not stop me from wishing I could shove him off of L and give him the peace he deserves before he leaves. But then came the question as to whether he would in fact prefer my gaze as appose to his killers. Is staring into the eyes of the devil you lost to better then staring at . . . me? What had his kiss meant? What did it mean to him?
I would never know, for how could one ask such a question to a dead man?
Could this really be happening? I did not want to believe it was, but a fact is a fact. He is dead, and you cannot bring back a dead man.
I did not listen to a word the others spoke. I did not hear Kira's screams of fake agony, or Mr. Yagami's shaky protests as Kira demanded the Shinigami to reveal itself. They were all worried they would die, and for the first time in almost 15 years, I wished I could join them. I wished I could feel the fear of death, but the thing is how could one be afraid of something when there was absolutely no possible way of it happening? I could wish all I wanted; the fact remained that the Shinigami could not kill me. No one can. When I die, it will be of old age, because I can survive any and all explosion, gunshot, and so much more. Hell, I can accuse, demand and threaten a Shinigami and live, getting away with everything I wanted. The only thing I cannot survive against is a healthy, natural death that most would want. All but me.
I wished I could fear death with the only man that had every truly understood me. I wished to fear for L.
"V," I finally heard a distant voice asked. I silently turned my expressionless eyes to Aizawa in question. "Take over, we're gonna look for the Shinigami." Or a second I wondered what he meant by 'take over', until I saw the lifeless body in his arms. "V?" I was still, unsure whether or not to take over, but in the end it was not up to my rational mind. My body instead, acted on its own accord, guiding me closer and closer to the corps of the raven headed man until I was crouched next to it and held it in my arms.
The longer I held the corps, the realer reality became. L was dead.
For the first time in a long time, I had to fight back tears.
END OF FLASHBACK
"Ryuzaki. We've gathered here for your privet funeral. The public have no idea you're gone." I did not want to listen to him as he went on. This case was not over. I would find evidence against Kira, and I would kill him myself.
"That's right," Kira said, and I almost felt pleasure with the fact that it almost sounded as though he were agreeing with me, but since L's death, pleasure was an emotion too out of reach for me to hope for. "We'll catch Kira and avenge Ryuzaki. Solving this case will be our last gift to him, to Watari."
Never in my own life had I ever felt so compelled to kill another creature. How dare he give the last words?!
. . . Well, I suppose they were not really the last words. He was L's murderer, and he was the one to look into his eyes as he died, but he would not be the last person to wish L farewell. I will be doing that.
When the task force had left, all that remained was Kira, L's grave and I.
"Everything is gone, V." I did not look at him as he spoke, in fear that if I did, I would not be able to restrain myself from ripping his throat out. "Everything that was in my way . . . in our way . . . is gone." I did not react as he slid his hand into my fingerless gloved hand. "It will only be a matter of time before I kill off the rest of the police, and then . . . we will have our perfect world."
A life without L is not perfection. Only blank, unanswered. I could not stand Kira's touch much longer. He has to leave, because when he dies, it will be in front of everyone that had ever believed in him. I will avenge L by showing everyone who doubted him and his brilliances that he was right, that he was always right. "I can't tell you how it feels, V."
"No need." I could feel his eyes on me, but I still would not look at him. I ducked my head lower so my eyes were shielded better. "I have been fighting against L for a long time now. Longer then you have, Kira. I know how it feels. My only regret is that I was not the one to finish him off myself. So . . . if it is okay with you, I would like to be the one to speak the last words."
At first, I thought he would refuse, giving me only the options to leave, use force, or seduction him, but instead found myself hearing the gentle footsteps fading away. Now it was only me, and L's grave.
Here I am, in a graveyard, at a funeral, saying the last goodbye to one of the few men I have ever cared for. What does one do in this situation? Simple, they cry. I would like to think I am above the action that most faced, but sadly, I am not. So I fell to my knees and let the hot salty water stream out of my eyes.
As I cried, I almost wanted to blame him for leaving me like this. Why would he die after what we did together? Had the kiss meant nothing to him? Did it mean anything to me? Kissing him was the last thing we did together before he left. Kissing him was the most intermit thing we have ever done. So yes, the kiss did mean something to me. But the question remained as to whether or not it was the same to him, and that was a question that would remain unanswered.
With this in mind hotter and heavier tears fell from my eyes and onto the soil that is L's grave. How dare he do this to me? I used to be a bloodthirsty criminal that all other criminals feared and hated, but somehow, L managed to warm his way into my head and heart without me even knowing it, then leaves me to cry on his grave! How dare he?!
Despite all of this, I still could not bring myself to curse the day he was born. I could not bring myself to regret ever having to meet him; I only regret watching him die. No, I don't even regret that. I only regret not doing anything to prevent his death. I wish he were still alive.
When my low cries had turned into heavy breaths and sniffs, something caught my eye. At first I thought it was the setting sun reflecting off of some of my remaining tears, but when I looked up I immediately saw it was not the sun or my tears, but the cross on the gravestone. It was glowing. I frowned in confusion, and turned to examine the orange sun, but knew it was already too far past the trees to have taken any responsibility for this strange glow of the cross. My frown softened into what I could only assume would have been pure confusion rather than frustration, and slowly turned my head to stared back over at the glowing cross.
Something was happening, what was unknown, but the monster inside was having a too wrong feeling, so whatever was happening, it was a good thing. I did not understand it, but I was determined to.
With this new light and fire I was feeling, I did the one thing I could guess this meant. I dug into the ground that had been L's grave.
3 PERSON'S POV
"Hey, when did V say she'd be back?" Matsuda asked, leaning forward in his seat in the moving car.
"She should be back soon," Light answer, purposefully leaving the emotion out of his voice. He's supposed to be acting like he has worse things to be thinking about, and he sure as hell wasn't going to act like there isn't, even if all he is thinking about is the new world and the possibility of sharing it with such a worthy, useful and powerful person like V. "I wouldn't be surprised if she's at HQ before we even get there."
"Yeah, but . . . was it really a good idea to just leave her like that? What if—"
"What if what, Matsuda?" Aizawa interrupted harshly. "What if she runs off and goes on a murderous rampage? Rips out the throats of incessant children and robs a bank with their heads? You should know better. She's not like that, Matsuda."
"Well, yeah but . . . she's still a murderer. We shouldn't just leave her like that." He looked down, and murmured out the last words they were all just daring him to say. "Ryuzaki never would."
With a sigh, Aizawa spoke. "Fine, I'll go back."
V'S POV
For the average person it would have taken at least an hour or so to dig up a grave, but, I am not the average person, so I was able to feel the hard coffin beneath my fingers within five minutes. After I had brushed the remaining soil away with my dirty hands, I hesitated.
I had seen his lifeless face once, why would I want to see it again? Why would the glowing cross mean anything? I am crazy; perhaps it was simply a delusion. I looked back up at the now purple sky, ready to climb out of the hole I had dug, but stoped when I heard something.
Breathing?
I looked back down at the still coffin, and sighed. I would never know unless I check. Besides, what do I have to lose? Nothing but more tears.
I sighed again as I crouched down and opened the coffin, revealing a very pale raven head.
L.
I bit my lower lip and gently crouched lower onto my knees against the half of the coffin that was still closed.
"L," I whispered, watching only his closed eyes. "I do not know where one goes after death. I had always thought a dead man would go . . . I do not even know anymore. But I can only hope you go somewhere good. I hope if you go to heaven, you will not be bored, I hope if you go to hell that you rule it and the devil. I have no doubt that you will succeed. After all, you ruled me." But not Kira. I breathed out a shaky breath and let one last tear fall from my left eye and onto L's cheek. "I wish you would come back, because I need to know. Did that kiss mean nothing to you, or was it as important to you as it was me?"
There was no response, as I knew there would not be. I breathed in through my mouth and lent forward to rest my face against his cold shoulder. This would be the final time I ever see him, the final time I ever touch him, to final time I ever cry.
As I sniffed, I came to smell a scent I was not expecting. It was warm, and delicious. It smelt like . . . fresh blood. Not the kind any detective, criminal or any adult has, but more so the blood from a very small child. It smelt like blood from new life.
I slowly pulled my face away to examine L's body. The tear was no longer on his cheek. It could not have dried out already, and even if it had, there would be a small dry spot. I frowned and stared at L's closed eyes that, for some unexplainable reason, began moving.
"L?" There was no response with words, but instead his lips departed slightly. I gasped and immediately placed my fingers against his neck, searching for a pulse. There was none. I frowned deeper, but this time in desperation rather than confusion. "Please," I whispered. "Please. Please. Please." Then I felt it. The light thump of the blood gently being pumped through his veins.
He is alive. I gasped again and stared down at his face.
"L? L can you hear me?" He, again, did not use words, but he did manage to lightly nod his head in a motion so small it would have gone unnoticed by most. "Can you speak? If so, tell me who you think I am."
". . . Mmmm."
". . . Yes?"
"Mmmm, hmmm . . . V-V. V. W-where am . . . I?" He spoke, real words, though not clear, but still intelligible. At this point I was at a loss as to what I should do. What does one do when someone worth crying over comes back to life? They certainly would not act casual, they would cry some more, perhaps smother them in hugs and such. But I was not about to do that. I had lost too much pride already, need I loos more?
"How are you?" I asked.
"I th-thought you weren't one for s-small talk." I was unable to compose myself, so I laughed.
3 PERSON'S POV
It was silent as the remaining members of the Kira investigation team walked through the grave yard. Most weren't worried about V. They all had complete trust in her, all but Matsuda. Despite everything she has done for him and the rest of them, he couldn't bring himself to not worry. Now that Ryuzaki was gone, she was the only reliable source in catching Kira, so if she left, then they would be left with few options.
Light Yagami on the other hand was not fazed either way. The way he saw it, if she left, then he would undoubtedly become the new L. Not that she has much of a chance at it anyway, with her criminal record and all. But if she stayed, it would only benefit him.
So all in all, either way he would win. With L gone there was no competition. The only one that could possibly mature up to L is V, but he had done the estimates and read through all her records and has come to the conclusion that she was as eager to see a new world as he was. That is why she kills all those criminals and has hid from the law and even L for so long. Because she believes in justice. Whatever she does now, it will be for the greater good.
"G-guys!" Matsuda suddenly yelled, capturing everyone's attention. "Sh-she's gone!"
"What?! What do you mean she's gone?!" Mr. Yagami demanded running closer to where Matsuda stood in front of Ryuzaki's grave.
"She's no here."
"She's probably back at HQ. Come on, let's go back," Light suggested, but Matsuda interrupted.
"No, look, she left a note!" Light looked down at the paper in Matsuda's hands.
"What does it say?"
"That . . . she's left us."
V'S POV
"The last thing I remember was Light's face . . . then closing my eyes," L grumbled, rubbing his forehead.
"Hmmm," I hummed, tightening my grip of the stirring weal of the car. We had been driving for about half an hour now, discussing his death and the case, though we did not exchange large words with the fact that L was still recovering from . . . death. After I had awoken him (though I still do not know how I had), I helped him climb out of his grave, reburied it, then lied to the rest of the task force through a note informing them that I no longer had any interest in the case now that L was gone, and that they should tell the media and public that I had died trying to catch Kira, or whatever other reason, it did not matter. It would be better if I was dead to the world, though I had not given them a full explanation as to why they should, I had a feeling they would comply to my request anyway.
"But now that we have decided to keep my survival a secret, I don't know where we can go."
"Do not concern yourself with that," I assured him. "I have a place in mind."
3 PERSON'S POV
"What was that? Rodger, what did you just say?!" Mello demanded, standing firmly in front of the older man's desk. He didn't have time for this. Unless it was something really important, then he would rather be back guarding the mail box in case V sent them another letter, it was his day after all.
"I'm afraid L is dead." The blond gasped, eyes wide and mouth gaping.
"He's dead? But-but how?!" Mello leaned over the desk, trying to get a good vow of Rodger's face. "Was it Kira? Did Kira kill him?!" When Rodger didn't answer right away Mello became impaction, so he grabbed the older man by his shirt and pulled him forwards. "C'mon, Rodger, you've got to tell me!"
"Probably."
"But he promised me he'd find Kira and have him executed, and now you're telling me, that he's been killed?!"
"M-Mello―!" He was cut off by the sound of a box of puzzles colliding against the office floor, capturing the attentions of both Mello and Rodger. They came to the sight of the young boy in white standing, eyes shielded by his snow hair, expression blank.
"Who else died?" he questioned lowly, his voice dark with a slight hint of demand. Mello immediately knew what he was asking. L was not the only one against Kira, and if Kira was able to kill L, didn't that mean there was a possibility that he could have killed V?
"There was also Watari," Rodger sighed, sitting back in his seat. Mello did not bother grabbing him again, he was too busy staring at Near. Could she really be . . .?
"Who else?" Mello murmured, casting his head down like Near was.
"What?"
"WHO ELSE DIED?!" He couldn't take it anymore, he had to know, and if screaming at the old man was what it took then so be it. He was going to get answers, was V dead or not? She had vowed she would prevent L's death, and she would not go back on a vow so long as she lived. If she lived.
"Mello, calm yourself!"
"Tell me, Rodger! Who . . . else . . . died?"
Rodger sighed, shaking his head, deciding to give up on trying to figure out why they were so interested to know and answered the question. "There is only one other I know of, and it is V, the criminal L had been unsuccessful in catching."
Mello did not respond. What could he do? One thing he would not do is cry. Not in front of Near anyway, he had too much pride to do such a thing. So without another word he ran out of the room.
Near did not follow him immediately, he didn't even watch him run away, he only stared down at the unsorted puzzle pieces at his feet. If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, then you're just a looser. Does that make V a looser? He didn't want to believe that, he couldn't.
Near turned away from the puzzle, leaving it to be unsolved as he left the room. Like Mello, he too had too much pride to cry, but he was not used to all this emotion, all this sadness, all this grief, and it left him feeling unbalanced, forcing him to stumble and lean his weight against the wall.
As Matt quickly clicked on the game's buttons he heard the bedroom door shut. It must be Mello, only he would enter without knocking. Or maybe it was someone else, but he had been too court up in his game to hear it. He glanced at the blond from the corner of his eye to check (which was difficult since him was wearing goggles) then smiled. This was the first time in hours that Mello had entered the room, or even step away from the mailbox outside, this meant he was either tiered, or V had finally written to them.
"Hey, Mel—"
"Shut up and help me pack!"
". . . What?" The red headed boy gave his friend a funny look, cocking his head to the side. "Why?"
"Don't question me, just pack!" Mello roughly pulled out a suitcase and began stuffing cloths in it.
"But—"
"I said don't, four eyes!" Not once had Mello ever insulted Matt about his goggles. Not once.
"Mello . . . y-you know these are from V. What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!"
"Mel—"
"SHUT UP, MATT!" the furious boy screamed, getting in the red headed boys face, the hot, angry tears finally falling.
"Mel . . . what's going on?" Mello couldn't take it anymore, his friends soothing voice flooded his mind with memories of V, and he just broke, letting his legs give in. Matt caught him before he hit the floor, holding him up.
"Sh-she's gone, Matt," he whispered in a quiet whimper.
"What?" He didn't say another word. He trusted her, he loved having her in his life, even if she wasn't around much, she was still there somewhere, and it felt like she would always be.
"I guess I was wrong."
"I can't believe this," Matt sniffed, shoving another spoonful of vanilla ice-cream into him mouth. Mello, Matt and Near were on Mello's bed, Matt leaning against the head of the bed with a leg hanging over and a bucket of ice-cream in his arms, Mello lying on the bed next to Matt, his legs spread carelessly and chocolate wrappers around his form and stomach, and Near was sitting alone at the end, legs crossed and head hanging low, his hair shielding his bloodshot eyes.
"I know!" Mello agreed, a stir in him voice. Though he had not had a drop of alcohol, if he was sad enough to eat over triple the amounts of chocolate he usually would in a day and a half, then he may as well be intoxicated. "And here I sat, thinking she'd be around forever! I mean, c'mon, what am I? A five year old? People die!"
"Yeah," Matt chocked out.
"They-they die all the time!"
"Yeah."
"I mean, sure . . . she had the most badass movies ever!"
"Yeah."
"But, she's still human! Humans die all the time."
"Y-yeah."
"And that's why L died too. They're both dead!"
Near sniffed lightly, wiping away his tears with his sleeve. "But Kira's still out there," he stated.
"I know! That's the worst part! Her killer is still out there, and now there's no one to stop him!" Mello sucked in shaky breaths. It was silent for a while, everyone thinking over his words, and then slowly came to a realisation.
"No one . . ." Matt began, sitting forward. ". . . Except us."
Near thought about this for a second then stood up on the bed, his expression being as determined and fearless as it could be. "Yes, you're right."
"I am?"
"Yes. Kira must be executed for this." He turned away and jumped off the bed. "And I will do whatever it takes to catch him."
"You?!" Mello yelled. Before anyone could blink, Mello was off the bed and in Near face, and scowl on him lips as he hissed, "Over my dead body. I'll be the one to find him."
"Guys!" Matt interrupted, quickly standing up and shoved the two away from each other.
Well, more so Mello, because Near wasn't really doing anything, and didn't look like he was about to either, but Mello was a different story, he looked like he was ready to rip his head off.
"This isn't something that we should fight over. Yes . . . V's gone . . ." He frowned, looking down sadly, but shook it off and spoke again, head held high. "But that doesn't mean you've lost everything! She loved us all, because she believed in us all. She has done everything she can to make sure we stick together; no matter how much some of us want to kill the other." He glanced accusingly at Mello then at Near. "But she wouldn't want us to do that just because she can't prevent it anymore. We will avenge her, and we will do it the way she would want us to. Together."
With a smile of bright pride, he stepped back and stuck his arm out, revealing a gloved fist.
"Now are we going to catch Kira, as a team, or are you going to get yourselves killed, alone?"
Both boys stared at Matt's fist for a long moment. Mello looked away, unsure of his decision. He didn't want to work with Near, but he didn't want to disappoint V either. Mello was a very religious boy, and believed V was watching them from somewhere. He didn't want her to see him as a stubborn brat, as all his pears did. He wanted her to see him as the same boy she had always seen him. The same boy she kept seeing ever chance she got.
When he looked back at Matt's fist, he saw it was now covered by a pale hand that he immediately recognised as Near's. "What'd ya say, Mel?"
Mello shook his head in disbelief and turned his back to them. What should he do? He would never have even considered working with Near if it weren't for V. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if he ended up dead in order to catch Kira before Near. "Mello," Near said calmly. Mello clenched his jaw at the sound of his voice. "You and I are both L's succeeders, and that is because we both have something the other lacks. I lack the action and bravery, you lack the calm. Please, don't ruin our chances of avenging V and L. Do this for L. Do this for V. . . Do this for yourself."
It was dead silent, and Matt almost thought Mello would decline, but he surprised him, as he usually did. "Fine," he sighed, turning back around. He was frowning deeply, but did not let them see the pride he was losing, only the remaining. "This is for V."
He then slapped his hand onto the two others and clasped then tightly. "Yes," Near agreed. "For V."
"For me," a voice from the bedroom door chanted, instantly leaving the boys star struck and gaping as they turned around.
"V."
Hello.
Just so everyone knows, I put that AN at the top because I know that almost half the people watching/reading Death Note had stopped after L's passing, so I got worried that if I didn't reassure you before you read the sad scene you would stop reading before it got happy again.
I'm sure you're all a little confused as to how L was brought back alive, and believe me, there is a reason, but before it is revealed I would like to hear all your theories.
I'll update as soon as possible, and thank you all for reviewing.