"What?" I ask, shocked. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't- well, that.
"I don't kill people on purpose. I mean it. It's like I have to. I didn't want to hurt your friend. I tried not to. I'm still trying not to. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to kill him?" Cas' eyes are wide and somehow honest. I remember the look on his face before he threw Thomas at the wall. Like he was in pain or something.
"So what about me?" I challenge. "Why aren't you busy murdering me?"
"I don't want to kill you."
"Apparently you don't want to kill anyone."
"No, that's not what I mean!" His voice is urgent, like it's vital I understand. "I don't need to kill you. The- the whatever it is that makes me do what I do- it doesn't work on you!"
"Wait, let me get this straight. You're not going to kill me because the thing that makes you kill doesn't apply to me." Cas nods silently, and for some reason, this makes me angry. Why me? Of all those who met their ends under this roof, why should I be the one to live? After all I've done...
Stop. Stop it. It wasn't my fault. I did what I had to. I was just a child! And haven't I more than made up for it over the past five years? Hunting the things that hurt people like they did? Keeping hundreds of innocent people safe?
And getting a fair share of them killed in the process.
If a normal person gets in too deep with a ghost, there's no telling what might happen, and my power to help is limited. After all, the dead have virtually nothing to lose. There's nothing to stop them taking out a couple of 'breathers', as I heard one ghost call living people.
"You should leave," Cas suddenly gasps. He jerks his head at Thomas, lying crumpled on the floor. "Please. I don't want to kill either of you, but-" he clenches his fists and I get the picture. But I can't just go. Not if this ghost is going to be hanging around bumping people off. But Thomas...
"This isn't over," I warn as he backs away into a corner. He nods.
"I know. I think I'll be seeing you soon."