quick add before i go to bed tonight - thank you both for the comments!
108 Dougies POV
We got to the record labels office and quickly got led inside. I felt like a 15 year old again, walking through the doors for the first time, keeping a watchful eye on Tom, seeing how he was reacting. What freaked me out was that he was fine, or at least seemed it. Tom was following along behind Fletch and Tommy, looking around the place with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Danny was following along behind us all, keeping himself hunched over, almost curling into himself. It was almost like Tom and Danny had switched postures and personalities. Tom was usually the one who hunched himself over slightly, stopping the world beating at him with his body. Danny usually stood with confidence, looking around the place, happy and smiley. Now they were switched, and it was freaking me out a little.
"ah, boys! Long time no see then!" Darren, manager number 3, greeted us the second we walked into one of the conference rooms. It had been a year since we had been here, when me, Danny and Dougie had to explain that Tom had ran away, there were still only 7 chairs around the table, Toms chair had been wheeled off somewhere. We all got a hug from Darren, and Richard (manager number 4) when he came in too. "take a seat then, don't just stand there...oh, there's only 3, sorry about that Tom, we moved your chair earlier in the year to another room." Richard seemed to notice the chair problem, Tom momentarily deflated, then shot back into that confident position he had been in before, wiping his face of any actual emotion. "its okay, I'll be fine standing." Tom smiled good naturedly, the only sign of his nerves being his hand holding onto his left arm. I knew he wouldn't be fine standing, so I moved to sit in Harrys lap, offering him the now spare chair. "you have it Dougie, I'll be fine standing." Tom declined, pushing the chair away from him a bit, continuing to stand, seemingly ignoring our strange looks at him.
Tom spent the whole 3 hour meeting standing, literally, he stood for 3 hours, explaining that he was fine and ready to carry on band duties. Even though that was a pure lie. There was no way he was ready to go back to work! This was the first time he had actually spoken since we got him back! Why the hell did management believe him, even when we protested and said we weren't ready?! "I really think we need more time, we're not ready yet. Fletch, you've been to ours, surely you agree?" Harry pleaded, me and Danny pleading him with our eyes to agree. "all I've seen is you three telling us that Tom isn't ready to go back, and then I see the opposite. You boys may think your doing the right thing, but your not, I believe Tom on this one, I think your all ready to start doing interviews and stuff again." Fletch sent us a glare, how could he do this? How could he not see that Tom wasn't right, he was acting happy, that was all, he wasn't actually happy and ready yet!
"Fletch, please, think about how we normally act, are we acting like that now?" I begged, purposefully ignoring that slight look of panic on Toms face. If Fletch saw panic, he might change his mind, we didn't do anything without all 4 managers agreement. "I will admit your acting a little off, but that could be down to tiredness. So I'm still agreeing with Tom, you three have to stop trying to protect him all the time. He knows whats good for him." Fletch warned, giving us another warning glare, daring us to continue arguing.
109 Toms POV
"Tom, can I talk to you, alone, for a minute?" Darren asked before we all left to go home. "yeah, sure." I smiled a little, walking back into the conference room, leaving the others to wait at me from the corridor. "now, I want you to be completely honest with me, okay? You ran away, and worried everyone, its not something you do unless something is really wrong. So, are you sure you're 100% okay now? And your not just lying so everyone else is pleased, because I will easily give you some more time until you've sorted everything out." Darren put his arm around my shoulders, looking at me with huge concern on his face. I hated lying to him, and to everyone else, but I knew he wouldn't give me more time. He would lie to me and say that the even higher management wouldn't allow it, because I was wasting their time and money by hanging around and not doing anything. It was all about time and money around here, so I had to pretend that everything was sorted.
"yeah, I'm ready. I don't need any more time off, I've sorted everything." I held back my whimper of pain, pain from lying and the fear because he was holding my shoulder. I hoped he wouldn't feel the cuts I had created the past few days. "are you sure? You don't just run away for nothing. Now you know when one of you needs some time out, we will arrange it around you so we can keep you boys in tip top condition. So, are you sure your okay?" Darren pushed, faking concern. "yes, I am sure Darren. The guys are just worried about me, cause they've got me back. They're just trying to protect me, I'm fine, really." I was almost pleading him to believe me over the others, he usually did, because I was the sensible one. Now, I wasn't so sure. "alright, but just know, you can tell any of us that you need a break, and we'll give you one. I'm guessing you're not fully recovered yet, so I don't want you overworked and collapsing." Darren sat on the table we had been sat around, relaxing his body so he looked like a friend that I could talk to. I knew I couldn't, he wouldn't care unless I had a new song or something.
"okay, and no, I'm not, I still have a little bit of weight to put on, then I'll be back around the gym, getting back to proper rights again." I knew I couldn't lie about my physical health...apart from cutting, but really, I don't think I was ever going to put on this weight again. Sometimes, I was throwing up whatever I had eaten, because it tasted so horrible. I held back a shudder, not wanting to think about it now. "alright, well, take it easy, okay? No overworking it, we can't have one of our golden boys ill again, now can we?" his eyes sent me a warning, no getting ill, or I was in serious trouble. "yeah, I'll be careful." I smiled weakly, scratching my arm, feeling ridges all over it.
I turned to leave, but he stopped me again. "why did you run away, by the way? The police won't tell me, so, why?" Darren asked the dreaded question, what could I tell him? I couldn't tell him the same lie, he would force me to have more time off. "I, er... you know I have some problems, mentally?" an idea hit me, and I was sticking with this one. "yeah, have they gotten worse?" Darren looked concerned again, he isn't concerned, stop thinking he is, just LIE, my head hissed. "well, a bit, at the time. Its fine now, I've got medication from the hospital. But at the time, it just, told me all the wrong things. So I convinced myself that I had to go, so, I went. Its fine now, I've got my meds, I'll be fine." I shrugged and put an another happy face, the face of someone who wasn't suffering with all these lies.
"well, alright then, but if you need anything, anything at all, just call. We'll set up an appointment with a psychiatrist or something. We've missed you around here, we're glad your back." Darren patted me on the back, leading me back to the door, where I met Danny, Harry, Dougie, Fletch and Tommy, who drove us home. The whole time, I got strange looks, and I tried my best to ignore them.