Me: I would like to inform the people reading this story that it won't be updated as often, if ever. The reason is because, although I enjoy writing these one shots, I want to move on to bigger projects. I'm also low on ideas and don't want to have to keep asking you people just because I have writers block. You all have been the best audience-any author could be lucky to have a supportive group of readers. Hell, I didn't think I'd get 1 to read this story.

Eruka herself walking into a deep, dark, wet cave, "Why exactly did I come here?" she said aloud as she kept walking, her memory playing the events that lead up to now.

"You must be pretty bored, huh?" asked Marie as the Hammer Weapon walked over to Eruka.

"Huh? How did you know?" Eruka asked back.

"You fell asleep reading a comic book." Our two ladies were in the library and Eruka was reading some Japanese Comic, something about some guy who's a detective and was turned into a kid.

"Oh...right." Eruka groaned, "I'm just bored since I have to wait for Crona and the others to get out of class." Marie nodded her head as she quickly grabbed a green book.

"Why don't you try finding the Holy Sword: Excalibur!" the Death Scythe suggested. Eruka raised an eyebrow as she grabbed the book and read about Excalibur: the holy sword that could be used by any Meister and 'he who wields it will have the power to smite down all foes'.

"Wait...if this sword's so powerful, how come it isn't here?" questioned Eruka.

"I...don't really know." shrugged Marie, "I remember Stein going to go get it, but he never did. I don't know how it happened. He never talks about it."

"Oh yeah, right!" Eruka grinned, a greedy look on her face. If she got and brought back the Holy Sword, the sword Stein failed to bring, then who knows what rewards she could possibly get! Soon, our favorite witch found herself standing on a platform, a golden Claymore sticking out of the ground. She examined the sword. It looked pretty legit to her. She slowly extended her hand to touch it.

"GREETINGS!" Eruka jumped at the sudden voice, "HAVE YOU COME HERE FOR THE ETERNAL GLORY OF EXCALIBUR?!"

"Y-yes?" stuttered Eruka as she looked at the now floating sword. At a sudden flash, the sword transformed himself into Excalibur's true form.

Which looked like a horrible, misshapen drawing that a little kid drew. The weird creature also had a top hat and cane.

"...What?"

"I am Excalibur." the creature announced, "And if you are to be my new Meister, you must follow my 1000 Tasks."

"1000 w-"

"Fool!" Excalibur pointed his cane right in Eruka's face, making her flinch, "No. 001: My mornings start off with a cup of coffee with cream."

"OK...well, I guess I can-"

"Fool!" Excalibur thrusts his can again, Eruka didn't flinch, she looked rather surprised though. "No. 002: My afternoons start off with a cup of tea."

"OK, OK. I get-"

"No. 075: Celebrate Excalibur's birthday in grand-style."

"Er...when's your birthday?" asked the witch nervously.

"Fool!" he thrusts his cane again. At this point, Eruka was more annoyed then surprised, "Everyday is my birthday."

"Wait, what?!"

"No. 667: You must praise Excalibur at all times." Excalibur told her.

"Uh...you're the greatest?" asked Eruka.

"Excellent! Now then, my story begins in the 12th century. It was a different time. When dangerous people walked the streets..."

Excalibur's story had taken place in some odd mix people the 80s and Medieval Era. People dressed as some cross between break dancers and pilgrims with boom boxes.

"Help me!" cried a little girl as she was surrounded by a bunch of Pilgrim thugs, all with bats and chains.

"Though haft stepped ontoith mine turf! Though shall feel a most bloody ass whooping!" shouted the leader.

"You all better leave her alone." the thugs dropped there weapons in fright as they turned to see Excalibur standing proudly with a gold chain around his neck and his cane having a diamond at the bottom, "Or prepare to-"

"Hold it!" cried Eruka, shattering the reality of the story, "What does any of that have to do with the 12th century?! And why are there Pilgrims if-"

"Fool! Do not interrupt-"

"Shut up!" Eruka snapped, "No more 1000 Tasks! No more stories! I can't take it anymore!"

...

"Congratulations!" cried Excalibur as he transformed into a sword, "You have earned the right to use the holy sword." Eruka gasped as she quickly grabbed Excalibur...

and shoved him back into the stone. As Excalibur tried to convince Eruka to reconsider this, Eruka was walking away and blocking out the holy sword's pleads.

It was dusk when Eruka made it back to the academy as she ran into Marie.

"Eruka! It's so good I found you!" she cried as she gave Eruka a death hug, her tremendous strength nearly cracking Eruka's spinal cord in half.

"What...is...ugh...it?!" Eruka choked out.

"I just remembered something important about Excalibur!" Eruka gave Marie a look. A look of discomfort and displeasure, like sitting on a large spike and feeling every second of pain as you were impaled.

The Excalibur look.