Bella's POV:
I watched as Jasper interacted with our children and nephew in silence. I was worried because I swear he had a flash of memory when he saw Peter but he said he was alright so I chose to believe him.
"Hey Bells" Esme said coming up beside me; her tiny daughter nestled in her arms "All go okay getting Jazz home?"
I reached out to take my god daughter and held her closely; it was so nice to hold an infant again. I couldn't help but think that maybe once Jasper had his memory back we could have another baby.
"It was quiet," I nodded "He remembers the day Cole came home."
"That's progress;" She said "He seems to be pretty happy with the kids."
I felt sad as I said "He's more comfortable with the kids than he is with me."
"He'll come back to you Bella you just have to be supportive and give him some time," Esme rubbed my back soothingly "Why don't you go and sit with him and I'll make us all some dinner."
"That sounds really good Esme," I smiled thankfully at her.
"Should I call Rose and Emmett to join us?" She asked.
"Sure," I nodded "I don't know how I would have managed without all of you. I appreciate it so much."
"We'd do anything for you Bella," Esme smiled "Just like you would do for us."
"Who's this little beauty?" Jasper drawled when I sat in the lounge chair to watch them all interact. He was smiling and I knew he felt comfortable and welcome which was more than I could have hoped for. Now, just to pray that all of his memories returned soon.
"My sister," Peter's eyes sparkled with excitement as he introduced his little sister "Aidy!"
"May I?" He asked me reaching out to hold her.
"Of course." I nodded and gingerly handed her over to him. She fussed for a moment but settled quickly when Jasper leaned back into the couch.
"She's pretty darn cute," He said taking in each of her delicate features.
"Esme and Carlisle would like us to be her godparents," I explained and he glanced up at me a look of panic across his face I quickly answered the question I saw in his eyes "You don't have to answer until you feel more comfortable with yourself but I just wanted you to know. They trust you with their children's lives."
"Bella," Jasper sighed "I can't even trust my own memories how can anyone trust me with their child?"
I shrugged and pulled Cole up onto my lap where he fussed not wanting to be held when there were so many things to do and play with and see but he stilled just long enough for me to hug him tightly.
Jasper laughed slightly at our son's annoyance.
"They trust you because you protected their son when it mattered most," I said "they trust you because you are an astounding father- with or without your memories."
He nodded "I'll think about it."
J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B
About fifteen minutes later Rose and Emmett walked through the door, Brooke firmly encased in her father's firm grip.
Emmett scowled in Jasper's direction for some reason and I looked at him perplexed. "Hey Bells!" He said boisterously completely ignoring my unasked question. "I'm going to go see Esme in the kitchen."
He put Brooke down on the ground and she crawled over to the small group of kids and instantly started playing. I loved my niece so much and I knew that her existence meant the world to my brother and his wife.
Jasper reached one hand down and ruffled Brooke's hair as Rose sat down next to him.
"What's up with Emmett?" I asked my sister in law.
She rolled her eyes and simply said "You'll have to talk to him. He's been grouchy all day."
"Okay," I said "I'll go talk to him now."
I stood and had to fight the urge to lean forward and kiss my husband as I left. I caught myself about halfway through leaning towards him and pulled away awkwardly.
"Sorry," I muttered quietly and took off towards the kitchen.
J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B
"Emmett what's up with the grumpy face?" I asked my older brother.
He turned around from where he was sampling the spaghetti sauce that Esme had made. He slurped in embarrassment and I giggled.
"He pissed me off," He said simply.
I rolled my eyes "He has no memories and was shot I think that he has the right to piss people off a little bit."
"He said that he couldn't be in love with you and have no memory of it," He grumbled and pulled me into a bear hug.
I sighed and said "Look Emmett I know you're trying to protect me, your little sister, but Jasper is one of your best friends and he really needs your support. You know that even if he meant that when he remembers he'll be back to normal."
"I know but it makes me furious to hear him say he doesn't love you." He said.
"I know and you're going to suck it up just like I am and you're going to go out there and be his best friend again. Got it?" I wagged my finger at him jokingly.
"Alright," He laughed and kissed my cheek "I just have to set the table for Esme."
"Hop to it mister," I teased and went to stir the sauce "Where did Es disappear to anyways?"
"She just ran to the market to pick up some French bread." He explained setting plates around the table. He looked at the table with an intense look of concentration "I think I should run back to my place and pick up our high chair."
"Probably a good idea," I said glancing around the busy looking table.
"Be back in a few minutes," Emmett grinned and bounded out our back door.
J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B
Dinner was a pleasant affair during which Jasper remembered the dinner we had after Cole's christening.
We spent an hour or so just talking as the kids all played before Esme, Rose and Emmett headed home to put their kids to bed.
Jasper offered to help me put the children to bed and tucked Charlotte in. After I tucked Cole in I found Jasper standing in the hallway looking a little lost.
"Come on," I gestured him forward "I'm going to take the guest room so I'll just show you to the master bedroom."
"You don't have to do that," He started to say.
"I know you probably won't be comfortable sharing a bed with me," I explained as I showed him his drawers "All your clothes are in this dresser and the closet. If you need anything I'll be right next door."
"Bella you can stay here," He said sitting on the edge of the bed and attempting to get out of his button up shirt.
"Here," I approached him slowly "Let me help."
He stopped his movements and let me pull the shirt off his sore arm, he winced and it made me feel awful for hurting him.
"Sorry," I muttered for the second time since he had gotten home.
He reached out and touched my arm gently as I started to pull away. "Bella you don't have to apologize."
He ran his hand up my arm and it sent chills through my body. "I'm just going to go."
"Wait," He called as I yanked myself out of his reach "Please?"
I turned and faced him again but kept myself out of his reach. I couldn't be close to him and not want to kiss him, touch him, love him.
"I can't remember you," He said looking at his hands in his lap "I can't remember our apparent love but I feel like I should. I know you're my children's mother and I love you for that even without remembering us."
I felt a stray tear slide down my cheek.
"Please believe that I would remember our life together if I could," He said softly "I would do anything to remember this love that everyone keeps saying is epic and astounding. Don't give up on me?"
"I'll never give up on you," I said trying to keep my voice from breaking "I promise I will love you forever even if you never remember."
He stood and stepped towards me cautiously. When I didn't step back he pulled me into a hug and I let myself get lost in the feeling of his hard, warm body against mine. I was careful not to touch his wound but started to cry a little harder- this was the first time I'd really touched my husband since he woke up.
"You can sleep in here if you'd like," He whispered again.
"Jasper I can't sleep beside you, share a bed with you and not want to be close to you and I know that even though you say you're okay with it you're not and I don't want you doing anything that will make you uncomfortable- therefore I am simply going to go and sleep in the guest room."
He held me tightly for another moment and then let me go "Sleep well," He said as I headed out the door.
"I love you," I said so quietly I doubted he heard as I hit the hallway.
J&BJ&BJ&BJ&B
The guest room was so large and cold and foreign and I shivered unconsciously as I climbed into my pyjamas.
I settled onto the right hand side of the queen sized bed and flicked off the bedside lamp.
It still felt foreign to not have anyone in bed with me and I was tempted to go and get my daughter again but I knew I couldn't place the responsibility of my depending on her tiny shoulders.
Since Jasper and I had gotten engaged we had only spent a handful of nights apart and this incident had effectively doubled that number.
I rolled onto my side and curled into a tight ball, my arms holding my knees to my chest, and stared into the darkness that surrounded me.
I laid there and let myself cry for almost an hour when my son's cries jarred me from my self-pity induced stupor.
I leapt from the bed that made me feel so lonely and padded quickly down the hallway to the nursery.
My son was crying in his sleep and I picked him up quickly.
"It's okay," I soothed him running my hands up and down his little body "Mommy's here now. You're okay."
I settled myself into the rocking chair and made sure he was encased tightly in my arms and rocked back and forth until his cries slowed to hiccoughs and he yawned and buried his face into my body.
I pulled the blanket that rested on the back of the chair down over us and closed my eyes. Maybe I'd get some sleep in here.