xxPUDDxx - weeeeeeeell, i'll have to see about that mwhahahahahaha! but thank you! :D
128 Dannys POV
Later on in the day, I was sat back Toms sofa, my arm slung around his shoulders, playing with his the longer hair at his neck. We had ordered some more food, had gotten the food, had eaten some of it too and were now relaxing on the sofa. "hey, want me to stay over tonight, or come back to mine?" I asked, sliding my hand down his arm to his waist, squeezing gently. "erm, I'd like to be on my own tonight, if thats okay." Tom shifted in my hold, turning so my hand was nearer his back than his front. "yeah, alright then. Are we going slowly then?" I smiled to hide my disappointment, I wanted to spend another night curled up around Tom, hearing him breathe, listening to his heart beat, letting his warmth warm me up. "yeah, this time, its going to be different. Its going to be better." Tom sighed, he looked nervous, but happy at the same time. Sometimes, Tom really confused me.
The day carried on normally, because we had another day off to supposedly do some writing, which we didn't do. All I wanted to do was spend that day with Tom, hold him, kiss him, love him like I used to, but better, because I messed up last time. This time I was proving that I was a good boyfriend, I was the boyfriend that Tom deserved, who gave him everything he wanted and never let him be sad.
"so, I'll be seeing you tomorrow then?" I smiled at the door, holding onto a few more minutes with my boyfriend. God that felt good to say that, and mean Tom, he was my perfect boyfriend again, and that was the best feeling in the word. "yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. We could do some writing or something." Tom half smiled back, and for once, it was a genuine smile.
"sounds good to me. Now, do I get a goodnight kiss?" I giggled, leaning up a little and kissing Tom anyway, feeling my heart start pounding almost dangerously. Even though I still seemed to be putting in more effort into the kiss, kissing Tom was the best thing I probably had ever done. Especially after not being able to kiss him for over 16 months, this was probably the greatest moment I had experienced. "goodnight Danny." Tom whispered when we broke apart, looking away from me shyly. "goodnight Tom, I love you, see you in the morning!" I kissed him gently again, before going home with a huge smile on my face, the thoughts of cutting and self harm far away from my mind.
129 Toms POV
I couldn't believe I was doing this! How the hell did I let myself admit to Danny that I still loved him? Now he was pretending to love me again and everything I had tried to stop had failed! Why the hell did I say yes?! I should have said no, I should have lied, just like I usually lied. But because of Dannys big blue innocent eyes, I couldn't lie to him, I just couldn't lie. Now, I was either going to have to change drastically into a man that he might consider dating, or just dump him. I couldn't dump him, it would hurt so much, I couldn't just dump him. I was going to have to change into someone else, someone better.
So now, I was running around my house frantically, trying to think of things that I could change to make me seem more likable. All I could think of was growing up, getting rid of the toys, the posters, and everything that resembled childishness. I whimpered, I loved those toys, could I get rid of them? If I did, would Danny love me more? What did I want more, Dannys love, or toys? Dannys love, I defiantly wanted Dannys love. But would this help to make him love me? Well, everything he had ever said he loved about me was a lie, and he now loved Harry and Dougie more, were they childish enough to keep toys? No, they weren't, the only toys that ever appeared in the house were Georges, from whenever he came over. So I had to get rid of mine.
It was a long task, that took me until midnight. Taking down every single toy in my house was a mammoth task, I counted over 200 different toys on just 1 floor. Then I had to pack away all my vinylmation too, taking down all 150 of them and putting them into their individual boxes, then storing them all in bin bags. I would phone Carrie tomorrow and ask her to take them, she had always said she was jealous of my collection, she could have it now.
By the time I had finished taking every single toy, poster, video game, and anything even related to Disney, Star Wars or Ghostbusters, I was in tears, on the verge of a panic attack. I never realised, but by having the toys there, I felt safe, like all the monsters hiding in the dark wouldn't get me. They had protected me from my fears, and now that they weren't here, I felt so scared and alone in my huge empty house. There was nothing to save me from the aliens, or the monsters, or anything that hid in the dark! I was on my own, the deafening silence almost crushing me and leaving me only feeling fear.
Taking a deep breath, I ran to my bedroom, jumping onto the bed and finding the monster catcher Carrie had made me ages ago under my pillow. It was green, with one large eye, and in the shape of a jelly fish with 3 tentacles. She had made it for me when she found some spare material in her house, knowing of my fears of evil aliens, not nice aliens like Time Lords. Now I felt a little better, but still terrified of the things hiding in the dark, so I had to turn on my TV, so there was some light in my almost pitch black room. From there, I was sat, rocking back and forth in the middle of the bed, looking out for ghosts and monsters, keeping from screaming at every little creak the whole night long.