A/N: Hey there guys! Thanks so much for your reviews to the last chapter :) Special thanks to the guest reviewers! I love that you take the time to write them! It makes me so happy to read them and really get me going!

Now have fun with the next chapter :)

(5)

It was late in the evening when Fischer, Cho and Jane stopped working the case and decided to drive to their hotel.

Volker was still in prison in California and there was no sign he'd be able to legally get out of there any time soon. It wasn't even sure that he'd get out alive. His lawyers were still trying to get the death penalty off the table after almost four years.

McKay was in prison, too. He'd been beaten up pretty badly just last week and was staying in the hospital ward of the prison with a heavy concussion.

Ridley'd managed to get the death penalty off the table, but he was a shady figure in prison. They'd take a closer look into him tomorrow.

The CIA had told them they were monitoring Erica Flynn in Beirut at the moment, where she was involved into a few illegal weapon deals. She desperately needed money because her assets in the US were still frozen and the stashed money in her off shore accounts was running out. She wouldn't make it longer than a few more months before she'd try to get in contact with the feds and try to offer them a deal. At least that was what Jane predicted.

Haibach was locked up in a psychiatric facility, just like Carmen, who'd managed to persuade the judges he was mentally ill after four and a half years in prison. Jane suspected he was just tired of getting beaten up by the big guys. Kim had asked the institutions about the files, but they'd need the permission of a judge first, which had taken some time. If they were lucky, they'd get the files the next afternoon.

And Red John… Well, neither Jane nor Cho were willing to consider that possibility.

After they left the precinct, Fischer asked if anyone wanted to join her for dinner in the pub next to the hotel. Jane formally declined and took off without another word. He looked tense and restless.

She feared he could try to see Lisbon, so she texted her former colleague to warn her just in case. Lisbon answered with a short "Ok, thanks."

Cho surprised her by joining her in the pub. They ordered two large beers, a bowl of fries and nachos and watched the game on TV.

Neither of them spoke much until the second beer. "I texted Lisbon Jane might be paying her a visit tonight. She considers herself warned."

"Good," Cho answered, eating another cheese laden nacho.

"Cho, listen, I… I know it's hard for you to talk about this, but I think we shouldn't exclude the possibility the person we are looking for is Red John. I mean just in case."

The Korean took a long sip of his beer before wiping the tiredness out of his eyes. "It can't be him. It just can't."

"I know you went through a lot with him… I mean I don't," she answered quickly when Cho looked up. "I wasn't there… I didn't go through what you went through as a team. Abbott didn't tell me much, because it was so confusing for him. He didn't know if he could trust you."

"We didn't know who we could trust either. It was a horrible time back then."

"Please, tell me about it. I want to understand it better… I want to understand you better."

Cho looked at her for a long time. His face was emotionless, but she could feel he was weighing his options. "All right. I'll tell you. But none of this leaves this room, you understand?"

Fischer nodded earnestly and listened to Cho's lowered voice.

"A few weeks before everything fell apart, we felt something was going on. Jane was being more secretive then ever and we knew if he was letting one person in, it would be Lisbon. We didn't know what was going on exactly, but we knew it was something big. Jane would stay up in his attic for days and Lisbon would come and go to her office. We wanted to be included, but we didn't dare ask what was going on. We knew if something important happened, Lisbon would let us in sooner rather than later.

"Jane had this list… A list of seven names. One of them was Red John. It included such different people… From Brett Stiles to Robert Kirkland, our former boss Gale Bertram, Brett Partridge, Smith, Haffner, McAlister… You probably know the names, because Lisbon gave them to you, but still.

"Things were tense. Lisbon wanted to protect us and Jane wanted to protect Lisbon. She told us, Rigsby, Van Pelt and me, although Jane had told her not to. We were glad we finally knew what was going on, but Jane didn't trust us. He could trust no one except Lisbon."

"But you were a team…" Fischer mumbled, confused. She knew Jane could be secretive and distrustful around people he didn't know, but they'd worked together for a decade…

"He had a good reason not to. I wouldn't have trusted anyone except Lisbon either. She was his anchor but also his Achilles heel. Red John knew, or he wouldn't have asked for her head in Vegas. But I think he only realized how deep in danger she was when he found her in the abandoned house with the smiley face painted on her face with Partridge's blood. I think for a moment he must have thought he lost her. Jane didn't leave her hospital bed until she woke up the next afternoon. He was scared for her life. He'd dragged her into this and painted a target on her back.

"He eliminated the suspects one after another. Well, all of them died except Smith. I don't really remember the cases we solved during those days, because everything was evolving around Red John. The only happy moment we had was Wayne's and Grace's wedding. Jane was trying to narrow down the suspect list and it felt like for some reason every case we had was connected to one of those. People were trying to spy on us… There were break ins, hacking attacks… You weren't even safe in your own home.

"I still don't know how we managed to keep it together. We were a team, a family, although Jane and Lisbon were the main players, we always stood behind them. It was a case involving Visualize when Jane got the information Red John had a tattoo on his shoulder. Three dots – which we know now was the identification for the members of the Blake Association.

"Jane had narrowed down the list of suspects to five. He wanted to bring them all together and find out who Red John was once and for all. So he ordered them all to his old house in Malibu. We weren't allowed to join them. Jane and Lisbon wanted to do it alone. I hated that they excluded us, but on the other hand, it saved our lives.

"He wanted to finish things off. He'd gotten a gun from a former suspect in a murder case, who took revenge on the murderer of his wife – at least that's what Lisbon told us. Because he didn't want to drag Lisbon any more into this, and because he feared for her life, he left her at the beach. He drove to his house, all alone. I don't know what exactly happened, but when Lisbon arrived, the house exploded."

Fischer took in a sharp breath. Her skin was showing goosebumps and suddenly she felt cold. Cho continued.

"We thought Stiles, Haffner and McAllister were dead, since Bertram and Smith were the only ones who were alive. First, Lisbon thought Smith was Red John, that's why she let Bertram go, and he tried to kill Jane at the hospital later. Jane was lucky Lisbon stepped in and he woke up at just the right moment. He told her then that Bertram had the same tattoo as McAllister and Smith. That's when the witch hunt began. We got Smith, who told us everything about the Blake Association."

Kim smiled. "Yeah, I remember him being very willing to talk when Abbott promised him a deal with the DA."

"Bertram managed to escape from a SWAT mission we set up to get him. Probably because of other moles in the CBI. That's when Abbott appeared and shut the CBI down. Everything was empty by the end of the day. Years of memories were wiped out in a few hours, and suddenly the building didn't feel like a home anymore to any of us. We couldn't trust anyone and Abbott couldn't trust us. That's why he started to investigate us, because we were in so deep and we were members of the agency Bertram ran.

"I don't really blame him, although back then, we wished for someone to just listen to us, believe that we were the good guys. Jane was gone. He wanted to make us think he'd given up, but we all knew he hadn't. Lisbon knew where he was, but she tried to protect us. Still, although everything had been broken apart already. She was a good boss, you know? Best boss I've ever worked with. I'd have gone through hell for her. We all would have."

"She can be glad she had such a loyal team," Fischer mumbled, her voice thick with emotion. It was different to hear all of it from someone who was involved in everything, instead of reading files. To her, everything had been clear then, but now she knew there was much more to it. More than any file about the Red John case ever could have told her.

"I don't really know what else happened, I just remember what Lisbon told me. She met up with Jane and gave him her weapon and car keys. She was still helping him, even if she knew he was going to kill Bertram once he found him. I don't blame Jane, I'd have killed him if he'd killed my family. Lisbon didn't go with him, because Jane didn't want her to. I think even after everything, he still wanted to protect her."

"They got Jane though," Fischer stated, remembering what Abbott had told her.

"Yeah. They put a bug on Lisbon's car, but we managed to make Abbott let him go. Instead, we got arrested. I still don't know what happened in that church at the Alexandria cemetery. I just know Bertram and Cordero were dead, another woman, who turned out to be a disciple, was injured and later, they found McAllister's dead body in a park. Jane was gone. He left nothing other than a voicemail for Lisbon, telling her it was over. Red John was dead, but for Lisbon, it wasn't the end of hell, it was only the beginning."

Fischer swallowed hard, her whole body shivering. "You were cleared during the investigation."

"Yeah, but after the CBI was shut down, Lisbon was lucky Minelli got her the job as a sheriff in Cannon River, because nobody wanted to have anything to do with her. Rigsby and Van Pelt decided to take some time off from the whole law enforcement thing. I was lucky Abbott wasn't a complete dick and told me to get some training and join the FBI." Cho sighed heavily. He looked at Fischer, who was still taken aback by everything he'd told her.

"Now you know why Red John can't be involved, okay? We all went through hell, I think sometimes Jane and Lisbon more than the rest of us. If this wound breaks open again… I don't know who will survive when it's over."

He emptied his beer in one big gulp, his throat dry from talking. Fischer threw some money on the table and put her coat on. "Thanks for telling me, Cho. I think I understand your situation a little better now. I'm really sorry for everything you and the team had to go through."

Cho just nodded, holding the door open for her. "It's a bond we share, a part of us… all of us. We were a team for almost a decade."

She put her hand on his arm for just a moment, waiting for him to look at her. "I'm glad you're part of this team now… even if we have to deal with a lovesick consultant."

They both cracked a smile and walked over to the hotel in silence, not bothering to stop their shoulders bumping against each other from time to time.

Xxxxx

Lisbon walked down the aisle with a beautiful flower bouquet in her hands. Marcus was waiting at the altar with the priest, Annie in her pink Miss-Piggy-dress standing next to them. She was really wearing brown leather boots. Gina must be so annoyed. The aisle was long, much longer than she'd expected it to be. She quickened her steps more and more, until she started running.

Marcus seemed to be farther and farther away instead of closer. Finally, Marcus came toward her. He took her hand in his. His grip was strong, almost painful, but she was glad she finally had something she could hold onto, something to guide her, since running didn't help.

Lisbon gave Annie the bridal bouquet. She just shook her head, eyeing Marcus suspiciously. The ceremony went on. "Marcus, do you take Teresa to be your wife?"

"I do," Marcus answered and smiled at her. The priest went on.

"Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." He took the ring from the little pillow one of her nephews was holding and put it on her left ring finger. Lisbon smiled at the ring, then up to him. But her smile froze when the man in the black suit didn't turn out to be Marcus, but Jane.

She stared at him with wide eyes, trying to say something, but it was like someone tried to choke her. She needed air, she needed to breathe.

"Teresa, do you take Patrick to be your husband? Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, for so long as you both shall live?" the priest asked.

Her heartbeat increased. She tried to turn around and run, but her feet were glued to the ground. She couldn't move. Jane smiled at her, his oh-so-incredible smile.

"I… I…" she whispered. The "no" was right on her tongue, but for some reason she couldn't say it. Jane lovingly squeezed her hand and bent his head to her ear. Lisbon closed her eyes.

"I know you're scared, love, but so am I…."

Her eyes snapped open, and suddenly they weren't in the church anymore. The room looked familiar, the white walls, the windows… the red smiley face on the wall… She was still wearing her wedding dress.

"I just wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you deserve. You're better off without me. Good luck, Teresa. I love you," he said, before McAllister came up behind him and cut his throat with a razor sharp blade. The blood splashed on her face, her dress, simply everywhere, and Jane's lifeless body fell to the ground, the red smiley on the wall glowing like fire...

"No! Jane!" Lisbon screamed, before she woke up, her whole body sweating like crazy. She was confused by her surroundings, didn't know where she was. Quickly, she felt for the little lamp on her bedside table and switched it on. Right, she was in Tommy's guest room. Everything had just been a crazy dream.

"Oh God," she whispered, touching her cross. She could still hear the blood in her ears rushing. She was about to marry Marcus, but Marcus had suddenly turned out to be Jane… Jane, who apologized for not being able to be the man she needed and was killed by Red John in the process.

Lisbon shuddered. What the hell was wrong with her? She hadn't dreamt Jane getting killed by Red John since the day his first letter from his exile in Venezuela arrived. Was Jane suicidal? Was he in danger? Her dream could mean anything…

She took a few deep breaths, always counting to ten. A breathing exercise Jane had taught her once. After a while, she felt calmer, but there was no chance she'd be able to go back to sleep. A quick look on her phone told her it was just a little past seven, so she got up and took a shower to get rid of all the sweat on her skin.

When she came back, there was a message from Gina, asking her if she could meet her at the church at half past eight, to introduce her to her priest, Father Andrew, so she could take care of the decoration and music in the church.

Dammit, she still had to write her wedding vows. Groaning, she put on jeans and a soft wool shirt, then walked down into the kitchen to make breakfast for Annie and Tommy.

Xxxxx

When her car arrived at her old church at exactly five minutes to half past eight, she almost had a heart attack when she saw the blue lights of police cars and a very familiar yellow crime-scene tape in front of the church entrance.

She hurried out of the car, dismissing Gina, who was already coming her way, totally worked up. Gina tried to talk to her, but she flashed her badge to the policemen and ducked under the tape. The church was fully lit and police and crime scene techs were hurrying from one point to another.

Right at the altar, she could see a head with familiar blond curls, who turned around just in time to see her. His face was worried and surprised to see her.

The walk to the altar was long, almost as long as in her dream, but at some point she arrived, her eyes catching a glimpse of the dead body lying on the floor.

Fischer was the first one to speak. "I'm sorry, Lisbon. Father Andrew is dead."