Chapter 3 - Like an Idiot

Severus stormed into Dumbledore's office; he was fuming.

"Welcome, welcome," said Dumbledore, and motioned at the comfortable armchair.

Severus sat as he was told and crossed his arms. If it was possible, the smoke would be coming out of his ears.

"It's unacceptable," he spat, unable to find the right words to describe everything he was going through now. "You should have told me something, anything! So I wouldn't go unprepared. You knew, you knew and you sent me on a suicide mission. Am I really this worthless? Am I?"

Dumbledore sighted heavily. "It wouldn't be like that if you went prepared. You would read and try some techniques on her, and she is too volatile to risk. I thought that if anyone could handle her, it would be you."

The half hearted compliment washed over Severus and did little to ease his anger. Dumbledore knew how bad that the girl was treated there in the Ministry of Magic, and for years, he did nothing.

"I assume that you're well aware, that my mission is futile. There is no way I can convince the girl that our side, your side is Light and is worth fighting for if the Light side held her captive in those horrendous conditions for years."

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, chewing on a lemon drop. "No, you're probably right. Which leads straight to Voldemort gaining enough power to free her and let her murder anyone he wishes."

Severus snorted. It was the most inappropriate reaction to the whole situation, but this entire situation was ridiculous.

"I believe you think in patterns, Headmaster. If you think that she'll obey anyone, you're more mistaken than I thought. She'll be free and all hell will break loose. She will exterminate anything that poses a threat to her, and I don't think Dark Lord would be able to give her orders."

Seeing that Dumbledore had retreated a bit, Severus leaned forward. "Tell me more about her. I need to know how it is possible that she's powerful beyond belief and who was she given to after the downfall of the Dark Lord. How old is she? How am I supposed to do anything, walking in the dark?"

Dumbledore's face dropped a little. It was a clear sign that he wanted to say something which would indicate that he made a mistake in the process.

"I don't know her original name. I learned that she was conceived by some kind of magical ritual and that she's the child of Voldemort and his faithful follower, Bellatrix Lestrange. She was three when Voldemort fell and Bellatrix was taken to Azkaban. Which means that she's seventeen now. Unfortunately, I don't know what magic was involved in conceiving her, but it's probably something of Tom's invention. I decided that it would be the best if she had a normal family, so I'd placed her with a wizarding family who couldn't have their own children. They named her Alicia Heatherwood and they raised her for nine years until she killed them."

Severus, who was listening intently, cringed at the use of the Dark Lord's name. His Dark Mark hurt every time, but Dumbledore seemed oblivious to it.

"I never knew he had a child. I never knew that Bellatrix was pregnant, but probably she put charms on herself to hide it."

"Probably, yes," confirmed Dumbledore. "I've learned that her magic is growing stronger with every passing year, and I'm beyond explanation. I've never heard of something like that before."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then why…Why didn't you raise her yourself, knowing that one day, you may want to have her on your side? Why did you let the Ministry make her so broken?"

He smirked upon seeing the look on the Headmaster's face. "Oh yes, she's broken, and I'm afraid that she's broken beyond repair."

"I didn't know that she would grow stronger," said Albus sadly. "I wanted her to have a normal family, to never learn about her heritage."

"So that is the reason why she ended up in a living hell? Couldn't you just kill her and have the problem solved?"

"Would you be able to go and kill a child? Would killing her be different than Voldemort's attempt to try to kill Harry? Did she kill them without any reason? If the Wizengamot put Bellatrix Lestrange into Azkaban, would they execute a child? During those five years, I was still recruiting for the Order of the Phoenix, just in case, and I had no authority to decide about the girl. It was too late. Now the situation had changed, and I'm doing what I can. I've chosen you, because if anyone can make her not threatening somehow, it would be you."

Severus could see a reason behind the words, but he was still angry, and some part of his mind told him that Albus still could play it differently.

"She disgusts me, she disgust me beyond belief, but you know what? I will go there and commit a completely selfless act of helping someone, just because the said someone has no one who cares for her anymore. I will do it, because it's the right thing to do, and sadly, I believe that I'm first to see that and do something."

Severus was surprised with amount of honesty he put into his words. It wasn't in his character to express himself so bluntly, but the whole experience he had had today had left him shaken and unprepared for mind games with Dumbledore.

"I appreciate your efforts, Severus. I really do, my boy, and I wish you good luck with all my heart."

Severus left the Headmaster's office with a troubled mind. He was thinking about another visit to the Ministry of Magic. He thought about the control that Dumbledore had over him. Control.

It was the key. He needed to convince the girl, that she had control and not the other way around. He survived today, because he had appeared willing and defenseless, and left her to make a decision.

The wards were erected, which left Severus at the mercy of the Dark Lord's daughter. He was standing, holding a tray with roasted turkey and fries, and staring at the floor.

He felt like an idiot.

Everything was chopped to small bites, because she probably didn't have enough teeth to chew it properly.

Her nostrils were moving and it reminded him of a wild, hungry animal. The stench, combined with food made him want to gag and he fought hard to remain indifferent.

She swallowed loudly and Severus leaned very slowly to put the tray on the floor. Her gaze shifted from him to the food and he gently pushed it towards her.

He waited. She sniffle, licked her lips, and eyed the food. Slowly, shyly, she reached down, took a small piece of turkey, put into her mouth, and chewed slowly. It was clear she didn't trust him.

He waited, again, and suddenly she grabbed the food with both hands, and started to stuff it into her mouth with incredible speed. She emptied the tray very quickly.

So the Aurors hadn't kept their promise to provide better meals.

She was watching him curiously, this time staring bluntly at his face. Her gaze swept over his hair and went back to his nose. She had bits of food all over her face, even in her hair.

Severus carefully reached to his robes, letting her see what exactly he was retrieving. He took out a bottle of water and uncorked it.

"You're probably thirsty." He handed it to her slowly; she yanked the bottle out of his hand and downed its contents quickly.

The empty bottle floated in air and she watched it with the fascination of a three year old who had just managed to tie his shoe lace for the first time.

Severus jumped involuntary as the bottle smashed into a thousand pieces, although none of them reached him.

She touched her belly and her face changed to complete sadness. A sudden thought popped into his mind. She felt guilty because she ate the meal, and judging by her appearance, she did everything to starve herself to death.

He disturbed her. He provided her a meal she craved for but she wanted to die.

Her eyes filled with tears, and as they fell, they carved two clean paths on her dirty face.

"Don't worry yourself about the bottle," he said shrugging. "It's just glass and glass tends to shatter."

Her eyes went wide, and there was a grimace on her face that could be a smile. It was brief and she went back to staring at the floor.

She pointed at the floor with finger and the bottle repaired itself from tiny, little pieces. Severus was amazed. She handed him the bottle uncertainly.

"You didn't have to do it," he said as he took the bottle. "But thank you."

Severus hid the bottle in his robes and looked at her hands. They were dirty, with long fingers and bitten nails.

"I need to go now," he said as he adjusted his robes. He purposefully adjusted them, so that she could see he was getting ready to go.

"If you want to see me again, just nod. You don't have to say anything."

He rose and headed to the door, watching her. He waited for a long time before she gave a small nod.

"Severus Snape demands to be let out."

This time there was no shriek, no pounding at the door.

Severus held a glass of Firewhiskey in his hand and watched the contents swirl. There was the Dark Lord who did not trust him, because he had done nothing to help bring him back to power.

Next was Dumbledore, a great mind with plans so big that he never worried himself much about the tiny figures on his chessboard. Severus fell exactly into a well-prepared trap, because he personally declared his willingness into the assigned task.

Then, there was the said task. The stench, fear, and inappropriate sense of adventure. Yes, it was an adventure : making it out alive and making some progress with the girl.

There was also Umbridge, who tried to condemn him along with the whole school.

And Potter, reckless and unwilling to work with Severus, as always.

He downed the contents of his glass and poured himself another one. Severus was sure that very few could manage like he did.

But could he?

If yes, for how long before he would break?

Thanks to Artemis J. Halk for beta reading this chapter