148 Toms POV
I couldn't believe Fletchs speech, was I really acting like that, like the world revolved me and everyone was going to bow down to me whenever I wanted? I didn't even realise, I thought I was keeping quiet and out of the way. Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to fight them back, I couldn't cry, not now, I couldn't attract more attention to myself, confirming Fletchs speech and the 'self harmers are attention seekers' stereotype.
"what, the F*CK was that?!" Dougie was the first speak, rushing over to my corner, snapping Harry out of his haze, his arms coming around my shoulders. "he just, exploded...over unfinished songs. He's never done that before." Harry commented, looking all the way round the room, anywhere but me. Danny was blatantly staring at me, and Dougie staring at the door. "what the hell is wrong with him now? Its just a few unfinished songs, there was no need to go off on one like that!" Dougie agreed, his arm coming around my shoulders too.
"he's gone nuts, for sure." Harry nodded. "he's right." I whispered, making everyone look at me now. "what? He isn't right! None of that was right!" Danny shouted, running over too now, basically trapping me in the corner, surrounded by the three boys. "he is right. I am stronger than this, I've got to finish these songs, or he'll blow a casket." I stood up and managed to move so I was out of their huddle, heading for the door. "where are you going?" Danny asked, running towards me, being followed by two more sets of feet. "somewhere quiet, I have to finish one of these to make him happy." I hope I added inside my head, knowing that I couldn't show him anything I had currently written. They were all so depressing and awful they couldn't be used. I had to buck up my ideas and come up with something usable and soon or I would be kicked out of here for sure.
"we'll help then! Wait for us!" Dougie followed along, all 3 of my band mates almost copying my footsteps exactly and never let me ran away from them. "you don't have to help me, I can do it myself." I sighed, turning back round to look at their faces. "we want to! And anyway, it'll be easier to write in a group, instead of struggling by yourself!" Danny smiled a little, it was fake, he hated the idea of spending more time with me, struggling to come up with something usable from the cr*p I had written. "fine, just don't blame me when there's nothing usable in here." I fell onto a chair, in a corner as usual.
"I'm sure there is, pass it over here, we'll find something." Danny encouraged, indicating he wanted my book. "how about that song I saw earlier? That Naked one?" Harry suggested, cuffing Dougie round the head when he snorted. "no, that ones cr*p." I shook my head, if just the title was making people laugh, the lyrics would make everyone really laugh at me. "it was good! And you don't think its good then we can tune it up a little. Its what we're for!" Harry yanked the book out of my hands before I could react, finding the page in seconds, thankfully not seeing anything else that would ruin me.
"Tom, that song doesn't need tuning up! Its amazing! I say thats ready to demo straight away!" Danny went wide eyed at me, yet again. "no, its awful." What I didn't want to admit was that I had written that about Danny. "well I think its perfect the way it is!" Dougie also argued, all 3 of them seemed so serious, so I gave in, they were better music judges that I was, now all we had to do was get Fletch to like it...that was not going to happen now.
149 Harrys POV
An hour later, we were showing Fletch 'Naked' having played it through about 20 times. So far he seemed impressed, which was a good sign. "now there's a song! Took you long enough didn't it?" Fletch sent a particularly filthy look at Tom and Danny, Tom looked away, Danny glared right back. "right, start recording it. We'll see where we go with this." Fletch finally nodded and walking out again, already phoning someone up.
"thank god for that! So if we start with some of the vocals?" Danny suggested, finally smiling properly. "alright then, you go first?" I smiled too, because seeing Danny smiling properly was infectious. "yeah, alright then. I'll be 10 minutes." Danny ran into the vocal booth, setting everything up single handedly. "see, told you that song was good!" I encouraged Tom, who still looked awkward and out of place. He just shrugged, biting at his nails, alarms bells went off inside my head, was that him trying to cause pain to himself? And if so, what was causing it? Were our compliments causing him to hurt himself like that? All I could think about was Tom self harming, I hadn't even seen his arm and didn't ever want to.
Danny started singing then, breaking my thoughts. The lyrics floated around the room, and they really settled into my head, showing how insecure Tom was.
"I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
'Cause life is like a game sometimes
But then you came around me
The walls just disappeared
Nothing to surround me
And keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
Oh, you've made me trust
Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm trying to remember
Why I was afraid
To be myself and let the
Covers fall away
I guess I never had someone like you
To help me, to help me fit
In my skin
I never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked
Around you
And it feels so right
I'm naked
Oh oh yeah
Does it show?
Yeah, I'm naked
Oh oh, yeah yeah
I'm so naked around you
And I can't hide
You're gonna see right through, baby"
I could see why Tom didn't want people to hear the song, but it was so good and we had nothing else to use that Fletch liked. "was that good?" Danny ran back in again, looking expectantly at us. "yeah, really good." I nodded, still thinking about what went through Toms head when he wrote this.
"hey, when did you first write that Tom?" I asked eventually, in between drum takes 2 hours later. "er, about 5 years ago." Tom shrugged from his corner, he was still hastily scribbling down lyrics to other songs, desperate to finish another one. "really? Before or after we got together?" Danny looked up from his guitar, I could see the cogs turning in his brain. "after." Tom answered, biting at his lip. Obviously, we all thought the same thing at the same time, that was about Danny, breaking through Toms insecurity and making him see sense, and open up about his thoughts about himself.