Hey, sorry the update took me so long but here is Chapter 2.
Chapter 2
Quickly the Peacekeepers escort Evan and I into our rooms for goodbyes. Even as peacekeepers are grabbing us Evan continues to stare at me, for a split second he smiles a crooked half smile. A knot forms in my stomach. Already my district partner seems ready to kill me at moments notice. Who even is he? Do I know him? Should I know him?
I'm lost in my thoughts and almost forget I'm here to say goodbye to my family when suddenly my mom bursts through the door. She's already sobbing by the time I see her and she pulls my into a tight hug. Then almost immediately she pulls away and tries to stop crying. I can't help it, I feel tears streaming down my cheeks as well.
"You. Have. To. Come. Home." She says through choked sobs. I nod my head but the tears are starting to come down more steadily now. This could be the last time I see my mom. I think to myself. But I could never say to her.
She continues to cry but finally manages to half pull herself together. "Avoid the bloodbath and contact with all other tributes." She says. "That's how Eve survived so long." Then she gives my a complicated look that I can't quite read, and talks in a whispery low voice. "Try."
"Take this. For good luck." She's now weeping again but hands me a woven necklace with a pendant on it. When I look at the pendant closely I see it has an animal shape carved onto it with red fur.
"A fox." I say, still studying the creature.
"It was Eve's." She says. "But it will fit you too. With your red hair. And you're so clever." She reaches towards my and gently places the necklace around my neck, her warm hands smoothing back the loose strands of hair from my face. When I look into her sad, emerald eyes I feel a lump rise in my throat.
Eve. I hadn't thought about how my mother has already lost her sister and now has a good chance of losing me. A new kind of panic takes over. I am not only pressured to get back for my own life, but for the lives of my family.
Peace keepers come in and mother embraces me in a tight hug and kiss before she is escorted out. I feel helpless watching them just take one of the most important people in my life away from me, who I have a twenty three out of twenty four chance of not ever seeing again.
The room feels overbearing. Like the plush chair I'm sitting in is swallowing me whole. After about a minute or two of being left to think about everything that has happened, my dad comes in.
I can tell he's been crying, but at the moment he looks as if he's trying to hold it in for me. My stomach lurches. When he reaches me he hugs me closely and I can feel his hands shaking. "You have to stay alive," He says his voice weary and filled with worry.
"I know." I utter. Because it's true. If I was gone I don't know how my family would ever recover. Maybe my parents would fall into a depression. Or Lilian would never smile or throw her head back in carefree laughter again.
"I love you." He says. And for the next couple of minutes I just sit there in his arms. My dad is like me. He prefers silence to everything. Even though we don't say much, sometimes it's like we've had a full conversation just by sitting there. I guess everybody in my family is like that. Sometimes even Lilian will sit in silence at breakfast, deep in thought.
When the peace keepers take him away he cries and says he loves me, again. "I love you too." It takes a moment for me to realize that I'm crying again. But now I'm not just crying because everybody else is, or what's happening to me is everybody's worst nightmare. I finally realize what is happening. And I'm scared. I've seen The Hunger Games on television. When you die it's of some painful, brutal death. And if you don't die you're still injured or hurt by the end. And how do you live afterwards?
I still have my sister and possible clara to say goodbye to, so I just sit back into the big velvet chair. I'm not even in the capital yet, but I already feel as if everything in the room is larger and more in control than I am. That even the furniture is mocking me. I sigh loudly and start tapping my feet again in attempt to distract myself. I guess I don't have to worry about going crazy if I survive The Hunger Games. I think to myself. I already am.
When Lilian enters the room her blue eyes are puffy and swollen, and her hair is disheveled. Something very rare for Lilian. She begins to cry in a way, that would make anybody in site's heart break.
In attempt to soothe her I walk over and embrace her. "It's okay." I whisper into her ear. "You have to try." Her voice wavers and she looks up at me. "You have to try to win. You can do it. Your smart."
"I will." I say. And I will. Atleast I am smart. In fact I might even be one of the smartest kids in District 5. But so was Eve. The nagging voice in the back of my head that is now giving me a headache says.
I'll have to start thinking of my strategy. My strategy for a game where kids kill each other. I think. I've always been good with games and strategies. But never anything where my life or anyone else's was on the line.
When they take Lilian away I can't hold it together anymore. My ears are ringing and I feel like my whole heart is crumpling into a shriveled ball. Even though the heart has nothing to do with how you feel, it's the brain. But I can't think logically, all I can do is be a tribute. Small. Scared. Weak. And treated like an animal.
Lilian cries for me as they drag her out of the room and all I can think about is how horrible this. How anyone could ever think about creating this. How many lives have been ruined. Probably over one thousand and five hundred kid have died from these games. Think of all the family members who have suffered from depression or god knows what.
All I can do is collapse. I feel numb and wish I could just not move. What would happen if I just didn't move? They would have to drag me to the capital. Maybe I can demonstrate what this actually does to kids and how awful it is by appearing completely mortified by everything. Then when they put me on my plate and the games begin I won't move, I'll be the first to die in the blood bath, and maybe, just maybe, the capital might feel the smallest bit sorry for me.
But that's not an option for anyone. Because most kids who go into the games feels the smallest bit of hope. Everyone imagines themselves emerging from the games untouched and ready to see their families again.
I close my eyes. I'm not asleep, but don't feel in a totally awake state. It feels good. Almost numb like nothing can bother me. Maybe this is as close to sleep as I'll ever get from now until the games. I must be like this for only a minute or two because soon enough I hear somebody burst through the door.
Startled, I look up and see Clara. Of course she would say good bye to me. I think to myself. She runs towards me and hugs me like she did when my name was reaped. "How did this happen?" She says.
The question catches me off gaurd. Nobody has really questioned the probability of me getting picked since the reapings. "I don't know." I respond quietly. Though she has a point, how did this happen? Of all the girls in District 5 who had their name in the bowl, 10, 20, 30, or even 50 times, how did I get picked? After all I only had my name in their four times. Some twelve year olds have their name in the bowl more than me. The odds are already not in my favor. I think to myself.
Clara looks at me with concern. "Your tough, right? You can do this. You can do this. You have to do this." She stares at me with intent. I know she's trying to motivate me but I don't feel like being motivated. I don't feel like being tough. I feel like going to my room, sitting on my bed for hours and tapping my feet against the hardwood floor. I definitely don't feel like killing kids. Then again, does one ever feel like killing kids? Well I guess that's why the career tributes volunteer in the first place.
When I look at her I see her eyes are now fixed on me, expecting me to say something. "I just want you to know that you've been a really great friend, and no matter what happens, you should be happy." I say, slightly awkward. It feels a little sappy, but I don't want to leave anything with her open.
"Thanks." She says with a shaky voice. I know she is about to cry but doesn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. We stand in silence. The kind of silence that I need desperately right now. Now that I think about it, all the people in my life are mostly silent around me. Has it always been this way? Maybe I won't ever truly learn all the little details and secrets around the people around me.
Suddenly I feel new thoughts coming to mind. If I die, how much will I miss? I would miss Lilian's wedding to the richest and nicest guy in District 5. Both of them a young, gorgeous couple that the whole District is feverishly jealous of. I would miss the moments with her first born child. I close my eyes and picture a pudgy, rosy cheeked girl with the striking white blonde hair she'll inherit from my sister. I picture everyone growing up without me. Everybody being successful, and healthy. Everybody being lucky. Nobody going to The Hunger Games.
I've only done so much. In fact I've done nothing. Never left the town. Never been a success. Never had power. I've never even kissed a boy. Why do I have to miss out on everything? Why was my life chosen to be a waste? One of the variables in an experiment that had to be removed.
I'm better than them. I'm better than any other boy or girl in my school. I may not be as friendly, or social. But I'm more worthy of a successful life. I'm smart. Smarter than any other of the sheep like kids who stood before me at the reaping. Why should I have to prove myself? Sacrifice my life for my stupid district, who has done close to nothing for me. I've never even been acknowledged for how brilliant I am. And I know I am. I can understand and figure things out that other boneheaded kids would never dream of.
The rage is boiling in my stomach and creeping up my throat. I break the silence between me and Clara by gasping out a small scream. She looks at me startled, but I don't care. Why should I? My life is over. I could be dead in a week.
I don't even notice that I'm sobbing hysterically until I see Clara's mortified face. "It's okay." She softly whispers. But I can't stop. I sob until the peacekeepers come and take Clara away. It registers that she is leaving and I will never see her again, and for one second I stop sobbing and hug her closely. I don't think that's ever happened before. Usually I'm not one to embrace or be affectionate toward other people.
Clara's expression softens and I see a couple tears fall off her cheeks. "Good bye, for now." She says with a soothingly sweet voice. "Good bye." I utter, but my voice is hoarse from all the crying.
When they take her away I don't feel like crying anymore. If they've just taken away all the people in my life that I've ever cared about, possibly for good, what am I now?
I feel empty and my expression is like stone. The tears that fell down my face are dry. All I feel is the tingly salt that lingers on my skin, reminding me of why I was crying. Of what was happening. Reminding me that this is it. If I want to see those people again I'm going to have to fight for it.
Okay hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading! I will try to update in around a week to ten days. Let me know how you think this story is going in the reviews.