Chapter five

Hermione sat in a large conference room with Draco. There were several packets of papers around them that Hermione had spent signing. So far they had designed a schedule for Hermione with a Healer, a psychiatrist and a therapist – which she was trying to decide on right now. The therapist could be Draco or it could be Niana Winderthall – an elderly lady that was completely in awe of Hermione. If she chose Ms. Winderthall, she would have to see her three days a week and then Draco at the end of the week. If she chose Draco, she would have to see him 4 days a week.

He was currently sitting in a professional manner, patiently waiting for her decision. From his bag on the floor, Hermione could see the title of a book peeking out: Romeo and Juliet.

"So what's with the muggle reading?" she asked.

Draco smiled, looking down and forgetting that he'd brought it with him. "Someone recommended it to me, a long time ago. And uh- you reminded me of them, so I remembered and thought I might as well look it up."

"And what do you think of it?"

Draco shrugged. "It's a bit too romantic for me. I prefer a Dickens novel."

Hermione was a bit taken aback at his response. So he knew a variety of muggle literature. This behavior unnerved her to no end. She knew she had no right to expect him to be the little boy who teased her in school, but imagining him as anything but stuck up and arrogant was impossible at the time. She wondered if everyone else had changed as much as the man before her. She wondered if she had changed.

She felt the weight of her wand in her pocket like a volatile object. She remembered a time when she waved it as easily as she breathed.

"How are you adjusting to being back in London?" Draco asked politely. They both knew he meant her integrating back into the wizarding world.

Hermione absentmindedly nodded. She wanted to be dismissive and just sign these papers and be able to move on with her life. But it seemed like such a far away goal now. "It's … all changed."

"I can barely imagine," Draco murmured. "It's been four years for you. And things keep changing."

Hermione tapped the quill against the table. "What changed you?" she asked quietly.

Draco looked away, but didn't seem offended. "I thought I would just live out the rest of my life in peace, on a beach, living off of the Malfoy inheritance. I did, for a couple of days before the Ministry found me." He rolled his eyes at that memory and something in Hermione tugged at that little action. She had a weird sense of déjà vu, but could not explain why. "They tried me in Azkaban – which you probably know about – and put me through a program after. I found that I liked this line of work and the Ministry decided to offer me a position. So now this is what I do–"

"No," Hermione interrupted. "What made you want to help people? What made you like 'this line of work'?"

Draco thought he should push Hermione into filling out the rest of the paper work, but he enjoyed conversation with her. He never thought this would ever happen again. And it seemed to make her anxiety about magic disappear.

"I don't know," he said looking at her now. "I've never been a person that likes listening to people all day and working under someone else. But I guess being lonely will do that you." Hermione gulped and looked away at these words. He seemed to know far too much about her without knowing anything at all. She wished she hadn't asked him about what changed him. "It changes you, and pushes you toward something you never in a million years imagine yourself doing."

Draco watched Hermione nod in agreement. Her face was blank again. He wondered what happened to the lively girl whose emotions ran all over her face. "What changed you?" he asked.

Hermione turned back to the papers in front of her and began to sign off on some things. "I guess being alone changed me too."

It was quiet in the room despite the scratching of quill on paper. Hermione had decided on Ms. Winderthall; Draco unnerved her too much for her to be comfortable with him. When he look over the papers to make sure everything was filled out, he made no remark about Hermione's choice.

"There's one more thing." He said. "Given the time that you've been away from magic, it's better for you to have a support group outside these professionals who will be helping you. Preferably people in your support group should be those whom will be with you after you're done with this program."

Hermione's fist clenched. "It's only been 4 days since I arrived. I haven't had time to …" she trailed off, not wanting to explain to Draco that she had no one outside of this building right now.

"I always thought you, Potter, and Weasley were inseparable?" Draco asked casually.

Hermione sighed, suddenly tired of everything. "Like you said, everything changes."

Draco let her wallow in her pity for another minute before suddenly getting up. "Well, I'd suggest reaching out to them. This is going to be harder than you think."

Hermione also stood up, preparing to leave. She didn't know where to start if she was going to start talking to Harry and Ron again.

Draco took a deep breath as he sunk in his office chair. It was weird to see Hermione broken like she was. He wanted to console her, and ask her all the questions to whose answers she was bottling up inside. More than anything, he wanted her to recognize him and not stare at him like a stranger.

He didn't think it would be like this. When he was first assigned to her case, the memories he'd long ago hidden away came barreling back. It took everything he had not to call her 'Hermione' the moment she stepped in. He wondered how she would react if she knew what he had done.

At that thought, there was a knock on the door. After taking a sip of water to calm himself, Draco waved the door open with his wand. Outside stood Harry Potter.

"Yes?" Draco asked coolly. Potter was an auror; Draco had no idea why he was here.

"I saw Hermione leaving," Harry said, not quite entering the office.

Draco nodded. "Yes, we were going over a plan for the next couple of weeks. None of which I can tell you, though. There's a confidentiality agreement."

Harry nodded, and ran a hand through his hair. "I was just wondering how she is. Hermione won't talk to anyone. I want to know if I can help in anyway,"

Draco was about to explain to Harry the tricky situation that was Hermione Granger, but got a better idea. "You can, actually," he said and begrudgingly gestured for Harry to sit. He walked in a couple steps closer but didn't follow Draco's hand. He was only putting up with Draco for Hermione's sake, Draco mused Harry didn't like him very much beyond that fact. He wondered if Hermione would become the same way after the rehabilitation program finished. He cleared his throat to get rid of future thoughts about Hermione. "Part of the program involves having a steady group of supporting people outside my office. Ones who she will be able to rely on long after the program is complete. I assumed you and Weasely would naturally be her first choice for this, but Hermi- Ms. Granger seems rather lost."

Harry sighed. "I'm afraid she would feel too overcrowded by us. It's been too long, we're all dramatically different people."

"Then reintroduce yourselves once again. I can't imagine you're happy leaving Hermione to fix herself. She was like a sister to you all before, wasn't she?"

Harry looked at Draco with an amused face. "You called her 'Hermione'."

Draco dramatically rolled his eyes, but inwardly cursed himself for his slipup. "Yes, because that's her name. Look Potter, this is an important step. She may not seem like it, but I'm sure she would appreciate you approaching her first."

Harry nodded, wondering if he should compliment Draco on how good he was at this. In the end he just decided to nod at the blond man in acknowledgement. "Thanks for telling me." Harry finally said.

Draco nodded and after a beat of silence added, "I want to see her happy."

Hermione was unpacking more things from her boxes when a letter suddenly flew in through her window. As she gazed outside to see what the source was, Hermione saw a faint outline of a pudgy owl flying away. She didn't know whose that was but recognized the handwriting.

Hermione,

Hope you're enjoying being back in London. We were thinking of throwing you a welcome back party but Ginny refuses. So we were wondering if you would like to get together for lunch or dinner this weekend? It will just be me, Ginny, and Ron.

Eagerly awaiting your response,

Harry.

Hermione cracked her knuckles. She didn't particularly feel like talking to anyone, but Draco had said she needed a support group. And deep down, she missed her friends. She had literally saved the world with them, surely they were the same people she had grown up with.

Deciding on taking up the offer, Hermione sent a letter back asking for a place and a time to meet.

It was an uncomfortably warm Saturday as Hermione walked down the street to the little Italian place Ginny had chosen for them to meet. She could feel eyes on her as she entered the store in muggle garments instead of a cloak. She saw her Harry and Ron already seated at a table and breathed a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be alone.

"Hi," she said, taking a seat. Harry and Ron were also wearing muggle clothing and she wondered if they were doing it to make her feel comfortable. Her two friends smiled at her and pulled her in for a hug. "Where's Ginny?" Hermione asked, looking around.

"She's going to be a little late," Harry said. "She needed to go talk to a healer."

"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked, wondering why her two friends did not look troubled at all.

"It's more than okay," Ron said with a smile.

Hermione looked between her two friends quizzically before Harry finally burst with the news. "Ginny's pregnant, so she goes once every month to make sure everything's okay with the baby."

Hermione almost spit out the water she was sipping on. "Pregnant?" she repeated in astonishment. "When did this happen? Who's the father?"

Harry's expression fell for a moment before he responded. "Me," he said. "We got married last February."

"Oh." Hermione was taken aback. How much had happened while she was gone? She hadn't realized the world had moved so fast. "Erm – congratulations, of course!" She was ashamed she hadn't even noticed the ring on Harry's finger.

"Thanks." Harry smiled again as the waiter came to take their orders.

So Ron was married with a child, and Harry and Ginny were also married with a child on the way. And here Hermione was with a life broken into several pieces.

"Hermione?" Ron asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, putting a smile on her face. "I wasn't listening."

"That's okay, I just asked how you feel now that you're back."

Hermione nodded. How did she feel? "Uh, a lot has changed." She shrugged. "It's weird being back. I never thought I would come back."

They were quiet for a moment, weighing her response. "Well, we're glad you're back." Harry said, giving her hand a squeeze.

Hermione smiled and shifted in her seat. This was weird. Where she expected her friends, two strangers were smiling back. But she was going to try her best to make this work. "So uh, seeing as I missed a lot, why don't you tell me about what I've missed on. Ron, I met your wife last week and she said you have a son?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, speaking of Elena, I tried asking her about how you landed in the hospital but she didn't say much and I couldn't come that day. What happened?"

Hermione's gut clenched. She wondered what they thought of her. Draco's words from the first day back echoed at her, eating away at her self confidence. You have no idea what they said about your sanity while you were gone. You don't know how they'd judge you.

"I wasn't looking where I was going," Hermione said, looking down at the table. "A car ran into me."

"A car?" Ron exclaimed. "I didn't realize it was that serious!"

Hermione shrugged, wishing they'd stop looking at her with pity. "It wasn't. It was an accident really. I'm totally fine."

Ron nodded. "Yeah Elena said the healer thought you were fine."

Hermione nodded and took a deep breath. "Elena seems like a wonderful lady, and I'm really happy for you and Harry. I'm sorry that I didn't come back sooner." Harry and Ron held each of her hands but she stopped them before they could say anything. "I think a part of me wanted to come back, after what I'd done to Ron that one time I'd had a nightmare…"

"You know we never held it against you, Hermione." Harry said, trying to reassure his friend. "And we're sorry we could never help you deal with those nightmares."

Ron nodded. "After you left, I always felt guilty that maybe if I had tried to understand you more, maybe you wouldn't have had those nightmares that made you leave."

Hermione cringed. "It wasn't the nightmares that made me leave. It was just everything after the war." Her two friends looked at her quizzically and Hermione continued. "After the war, I know we all had our own troubles adjusting back to life, but you guys took the hero thing easily and rolled with it. I – I didn't feel much like a hero at all. All I saw was the broken castle walls and the bodies of the dead, and I just wanted time to stop so I could think. So I could process everything that happened. So I could tell myself that the monster inside Voldemort died with Voldemort. But everyone just wanted to be together, and mourn together, and world put us on this pedestal and looked up to us but…" Hermione sighed, feeling a shiver run through her despite the muggy air of the pizza shop. "I couldn't erase this feeling inside me that told me I was a part of the destruction."

She felt Harry squeeze her hand and looked up at him. "It wasn't easy for any of us, Hermione. I drowned my nightmares with alcohol, and tried not to acknowledge the world at all. But maybe you're right, the hero thing was one of the reasons I was okay. I accepted it because it was the only thing that reminded me I was alive. But I think I was just as messed up as the rest of the world. The only reason I got out of it eventually was Ginny."

Ron nodded. "And I know you thought of me as irresponsible for never choosing a single profession and using fame to my advantage, but I never had that before. Like Harry said, it was the only thing that made me feel like I was really there. After we'd helped Harry pretty much save the world, I didn't want to be forgotten. I just… I didn't realize I was pushing you away at the same time."

"We should have talked to you more about what you were going through as well." Harry said.

"We were just too stubborn to accept that we weren't okay." Ron added.

Hermione sighed. The two men in front of her were still strangers – but they felt more like the two best friends she had grown up with. "No," she said. "I was stubborn too. I kept everything to myself and expected you guys to understand perfectly. I was selfish and what I did – leaving like that – was impulsive and childish." She hugged them both suddenly, tears pricking her eyes. "I shouldn't have run away."

When Ginny arrived, that's how she found the Golden Trio. Arms wrapped around each other, and smiles on their faces. She laughed at the waiter's confused expression and proceeded to join her husband and brother. Though she was nervous about seeing Hermione after so long, it turned out to be a great gathering between the four.

"He's probably a first year." Draco mused, pointing at a short kid who was wearing a Gryffindor colored cloak. "His mum probably told him many stories of her Hogwarts days, and now look at him. He probably thinks he's going to get sorted into Gryffindor just like her."

"And what's wrong with that?" Hermione asked, ready to defend her beloved house.

Draco turned to her with a smirk. "Nothing, I suppose. But he looks stupid in that cloak."

Hermione rolled her eyes even though she agreed. She never told Draco when he was right, it inflated his ego far too much.

It was the summer before third year and they had met at a bookstore in Diagon alley. Even though Draco was terribly annoying, and none of Hermione's friends approved of their friendship, she always found herself seeking his company.

Currently, they were sitting at a table near a window of the store that faced the main alley. They were each taking turns thinking of the lives of people that walked past them. Draco would have rather been walking around and saying his theories to people's faces, but he knew his father would kill him if he found out he was still friends with Hermione. So he settled for sitting in the back of a bookstore with her, away from prying eyes.

"I bet he's a cat lover." Hermione said, pointing out a tall boy carrying a heavy load of books.

Draco gave her a look. "No way, he's probably a toad lover like your friend Longbottom.

"There's clearly pet hair on his cloak, Malfoy." Hermione sighed. "And here I was thinking you were getting better at this game."

Draco shoved her lightly. "I am." He declared. "I even noticed the light untanned circle on the shopkeeper's hand. Looks like someone's ended their marriage."

"Not this shopkeeper!" Hermione turned around to get a peek and felt someone pluck her face. "Ow!" she exclaimed as Malfoy laughed.

"Made you look! Boy, Hermione I didn't know you were that daft!"

Hermione grumbled and tried to hit him back, but his reflexes were faster. "I knew there was never a wedding ring on her finger. I was making sure you were incorrect!" Hermione gave up on trying to hit him and went back to looking out of the window. Draco turned away for a moment and was absent mindedly staring at the color in her eyes when she interrupted his thoughts. "Ah, I love a good rebel." Hermione said suddenly, pointing to a dark-skinned lanky boy who was seated outside of Flourish and Blotts, his head in a book.

"What makes him a rebel?"

"He's Raquel's little brother; she's a Slytherin. But take a look at what he's reading."

Draco leaned closer to the window and squinted. "What's that say? Rameo and Juliet? By a shakingsphere?"

Hermione laughed at his expression. "That's Shakspere, you git. He's reading a play called Romeo and Juliet. It's very famous in the muggle world."

"Hm… and Raquel's family looks down on anything muggle?"

Hermione nodded. "Does every Slytherin do that? Act like muggles are some inferior beings?"

Draco gave her a look. "They are."

"Hm, you weren't saying that when I showed you my TV the other day."

Draco rolled his eyes. "That's only one counter example."

"Okay, then I'm another. If muggles are so inferior, how could they have given birth to me, the cleverest witch of my age?" Draco opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't find an argument. Hermione's smile was growing bigger as the seconds went on.

Finally he just grumbled, "Muggles are still inferior."

"Oh, Malfoy." Hermione said in mock-sympathy, patting his shoulder. "You know such little of the world, and continue to make assumptions about everyone. What little matter your mind is made of."

"Oh shut it," Draco grumbled enticing a giggle from Hermione. Draco turned back to window and spied a familiar head of hair. "Is that Potter?" he asked.

Hermione quickly ducked back, away from the window. "Is it?" she squeaked. "Is he gone?"

Draco leaned forward lazily. "You know what now that I think about it, he wasn't even wearing glasses, couldn't have been Potter." Hermione raised her hand to swat him on the head when again he questioned. "Oh, wait! But that one's wearing glasses maybe that's him?"

Hermione moved backward again. "Malfoy, stop playing games."

He laughed. "I'm not playing games! It might be Potter!"

"I hate you," she grumbled, sitting back down beside him.

They continued their game for another hour before Draco asked quietly, "What assumptions do you think the people outside are making about us?"

"I hope they don't notice me." Hermione said.

"Of course, they'll notice you Hermione. You're next to me after all."

"Ha ha," Hermione said drily. "Well if they're as bored as we are, they'd probably assume we're together or something."

"Well in that case," Draco drawled, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

"Let's give them something to assume." He said pulling Hermione close. As expected, she immediately started pushing away, and he laughed loudly as she blushed.

"Why do like to annoy me so much?" Hermione sighed against his chest. She was still trying to push him away but her heart was hammering inside. Even though she would never admit it out loud she found Draco a bit attractive. Being held like this seemed to make her body very happy. Stupid hormones, she cursed in her head.

"Because you're so easy to annoy." He said, suddenly pushing away from her.

Hermione straightened her cloak and stood up, heading towards a bookshelf.

Draco followed behind her. "I bet you'll end up owning a bookstore of your own one day; or maybe a library."

"Oh I hope not," Hermione said, shooting him a crazed look. "I'd rather be out seeking more information. Maybe I'll go travel the world."

"Well make sure you tell me where you're planning to go. I wouldn't want us to be in the same place. What would your precious Potter and Weasely think of us?"

Hermione laughed. "And where do you see yourself in the future, Malfoy?"

"Oh that's an easy one. I see myself on a nude beach," he said, startling Hermione.

"W-what did you say?" Hermione sputtered.

"A nude beach," he repeated, enjoying watching Hermione blush again. "Hopefully I'll own the beach, so I'll make sure it's full of every gorgeous witch models. Sorry though, no Hermione Grangers allowed."

Despite her blush, Hermione managed a laugh. "Well then, I'll just have to become a gorgeous model now," She mused. "And then when you invite me to your imaginary nude beach, I'll turn you down, and your dream will be shattered." They both laughed at that, knowing Hermione would never stoop that low.

But for a moment, Draco let himself entertain the idea. "And suppose I kidnap you? I doubt even you could resist a nice beach."

"I thought you didn't want me there?"

"That was before you said you were interested in becoming a model."

Hermione shrugged. "Okay, maybe kidnapping would get me there. But I absolutely refuse to be nude."

They stared at each other for a moment smiling, when suddenly Draco realized that someone they knew was outside. When Hermione saw his mouth twist, she knew he was watching one of her friends enter the shop. He quickly stepped away from her and went further towards the back.

Hermione thought it was strange that a boy with such blond hair hid so perfectly in the shadows.

"Hermione!" Ginny called out.

Putting her book away, Hermione made her way to the front of the shop. "Hi, Ginny. Shopping for your second year supplies so early?"

Ginny nodded her head. "I've been helping some people this summer and I got some money to spend on new cloaks. Want to come help me choose?"

"Sure, just give me a moment to get my bag from the back of the store. Could you wait here a moment?" Hermione asked. Ginny nodded, and Hermione slipped away to the back of the store where she knew her blond friend was. He was reading a book, and Hermione had to clear her throat twice to get his attention. "I – um, I have to go now." She mumbled.

Goodbyes were always awkward between the pair.

Draco nodded. "I'll be in Paris for the rest of the summer so I won't see you until school starts."

Hermione nodded her head even though that was a long time from now. "Well, okay then. Have fun in Paris."

"Have fun becoming a model," he smirked and all the previous awkwardness evaporated.

Hermione laughed and quickly went back to Ginny. Even though her friends did not like Draco, she found that he was pleasant enough. She hoped that one day she could hang out with Draco and her three best friends.