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Different Road, Same Journey

Marshall was surprised to see Mary rushing past him and up the stairs, the moment he had closed the door.

"You okay?" He called out, moving to the foot of the steps.

"Be right back." She replied, disappearing out of his sight.

Once she was inside his bathroom, she leaned against the sink and stared at herself in the mirror, wondering what the hell she was doing. She was falling for a guy with two kids… there was no way for them to have a relationship without her being a part of the girls lives too. Was that what he was really looking for? Some kind of replacement mother for them…If so, then he needed his head checked because she was the last person he should be considering. Or maybe he was just going to use her until someone more suitable came along...She could handle that. Those kinds of relationships, the ones with no emotions invested, no pressure to be perfect was what she was used to. The only problem was the tugging on her heart when she thought about Marshall walking away into the arms of another woman.

"Damn it." She muttered. "I cannot have feeling for him…I cannot go there."

She took a deep breath and splashed some water on her face, deciding that she'll do what he had suggested the night before; concentrate on getting through everything to do with Brandi's mess then she would tell him they were better of as friends…someone to talk to at the bar.

Marshall turned away from the stove when she entered the kitchen and smiled a little. "You sure you're okay? You were up there for a while."

"I'm fine…just wanted to wash up." She assured him, looking at the table and saw bacon, scrambled eggs, toast and juice. "How any are eating breakfast?"

"I didn't know what you would want to eat…" He shrugged, turning back to the stove for a few seconds before moving to join her at the table with plate full of pancakes.

"Pancakes too?" She stared wide eyed at him.

"My pancakes are the best…just ask my girls." He grinned, setting them down before taking his own seat.

"This is a lot of food…" Mary commented, not knowing where to start.

"I get it from my mother." He shrugged, spooning some egg onto his plate. "She never needed an excuse to cook up a fest…liked to make sure her family is well feed."

"I don't think I buy this much food to last me the week." She stated.

"Come on, it's not that much." He rolled his eyes. "If you're not hungry…"

"No, no…I'm starving." She grabbed the pancakes before he could finish.

"Good." He smiled and they ate in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. "I spoke to my boss this morning…"

She swallowed a mouthful of pancake. "Oh yeah? About the case?"

He nodded. "They've arrested Spanky Carson."

Mary paused with her fork halfway to her mouth as she stared at him. "Well…that's good, right?"

"Yes…"

"Does that mean you have to go to work?" She asked, lowering her fork and reached across the table to pour herself a glass of orange juice, trying to act normal. "I can get my stuff together and be out of here pretty quick if you need to get going…"

"Mare, that's not why I'm telling you," He cut in, putting down his own cutlery. "They need you to go back in to do a formal ID."

"Oh…Will you be there?"

"Yeah, I'll give you a ride but I can't be with you when you make the ID."

"Why not?"

"I've been working the case…I can't seem to be leading you." He told her. "I'll just be there to support you."

"Wait, so you're not working the case now?"

"It's best if I step back." He claimed. "I don't want any of them to get away with it because of a technicality."

"But Marshall…"

"It's the right way, Mare." He assured her. "There's not much left to do now other than paperwork and interviews so it's not really a big deal."

"I thought this case was going to help your career."

"There'll be other cases." He shrugged and began eating again.

"No, I can't let you do this." She shook her head. "After everything you've done for me, I won't stand in the way of your career."

"Mary…" He sighed. "It's already done…"

"Well, undo it…I can do this on my own, I don't need you to hold my hand…"

"It's not just about that, Mare…no matter what, you're my friend and Spanky can afford a good lawyer who will use it to get him off…by me being involved in the case is jeopardize that….I can't let him get away with everything he did to you and to others just because I want to stay on the case."

"It's not fair to you…" She whispered, knowing he made sense.

"As long as we get him off the streets, that's the main thing." He claimed, reaching a hand across to cover hers. "Please do not blame yourself… It's better for everyone…I can be there for you, as little or as much as you like."

She looked down at their hands for a few seconds, knowing now was the perfect time to cut ties but she just couldn't.

"I want you to come with me to do the ID."

He squeezed her hand. "We have a couple of hours before we need to leave…Let's eat before all this food goes cold."

"These are pretty good pancakes." She admitted.

"Told you."

XxXxX

As soon as they reached the police station, Mary was taken off to the do the ID. It had been Marshall's own idea to take a step back from the case, knowing there would be a good chance his boss would have to do it at point anyway or that Spanky's lawyers would use it against them. While he had worked hard on the case and was disappointed about not seeing it through to the end, he knew it was the right thing to do. The last thing he wanted was for Spanky or any of his associates to get off on a technicality.

Now he was just left waiting around for Mary to finish up. He smiled when his phone buzzed and saw his brother had sent him a photograph of all girls trying to help their older cousins set up their tents. He was in the middle of replying when the door opened and Mary entered with an officer.

"Hey…" He glanced down at his cell phone just long enough to send his message before pocketing the phone and standing up. "How'd it go?"

"Fine…I guess." She shrugged, wrapping her arms around herself. "I just want to get out of here."

Marshall looked across to the office. "Can she go?"

"Yeah, we're done." He nodded. "Ms. Shannon, we'll be in touch soon."

"I'll look forward to it." She muttered sarcastically.

Marshall gave the officer a smile before moving over to Mary and putting an arm around her shoulders to guide her out but she shrugged him off.

"I don't need holding up."

He held his hands up in surround and stepped back. "Okay…"

"Let's just go." She sighed.

"Sure." He waited for her to walk towards the door before following. He had forgotten what kind of girl was she…she was not used to being taken care of or affectionate touches but he thought about the night before, how she had let him in a little….how she leaned up against him and told him she felt safe with him. He wondered whether he had pushed her too far…over stepped the mark. It had been what he worried about last night...He didn't want to take advantage of her while she was going through all this.

"Do you want to come back to my house?" Marshall asked, as they walked side by side out of the station but quickly continued, in fear she would reject him. "I mean, I got the rest of the day off now…so it'll be nice to have the company and we can finish off our Die Hard marathon?"

She was quiet for a few seconds and he could practically see her mind weighing up the options. He almost sighed in relief when she nodded her agreement silently.

"Great." He unlocked his truck, resisting the urge to open the passenger door for her.

XxXxX

The rest of the day and evening passed fairly quickly, neither of them speaking very much and instead just watched movie after movie. Mary had taken another bath while Marshall cleaned the kitchen after dinner and when she still hadn't reappeared after almost two hours he wondered whether she really did enjoy his bathroom like Kelly did or if she was hiding in there. When he went to investigate if she was okay, he heard her talking on her cell phone in his bedroom. He hovered behind the door, listening to her telling her sister that she would be home the next day and that she had just needed some space for a while.

He felt relieved that she had decided to go home since he would have never have kicked her out but with the girls returning tomorrow, it would have been awkward for all of them to be there and there was no way he could ask his brother and sister-in-law to have them again.

But an hour later, when he was led in bed, unable to sleep and staring at the ceiling, he couldn't help but feel worried about not having her close by.

He knew after that first conversation in the bar that he was attracted to her…Then the second he heard about her abduction he knew it was more than attraction, he knew he had feelings for her. Then when he found her, he wanted nothing more than to wrap her up and protect her from the world but she wasn't that kind of girl and that made him like just a little bit more. He thought about the previous night again and how easy it was to be around each other; the only thing that would have made it more perfect was if Alexis and Ava was there with them.

That's what terrified him.

When he first realized that his marriage was over and that Ellie was not ever going to come back, he accepted the fate of being a single Dad and he was happy with that. He could not imagine wanting to be with someone else…He could not imagine liking someone enough to welcome them into the life he shared with his girls.

Then Mary turned up and somehow she got deep enough into his heart that he was starting to invasion her meeting Alex and Ava properly…Wondering what she would think of them…what they would think of her.

She had already told him during one of their bar chats, that was she wasn't a kid person but would it be possible for them to have some kind of relationship without the girls being involved. He might be bias but he could not believe she wouldn't love them if she met them…They were great kids.

Then there were the girls to think of, maybe they wouldn't like Mary. He worried mostly about Alexis' reaction…If he was honest, he knew deep down his eldest still believed her Mom would return…that the four of them would live happily ever after…Adding Mary to the mix might not go down too well. Ava was too young to really understand any of it and she seemed to like everyone she met but then there was the chance that the perfect little family scene might scare Mary off.

He groaned and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. He wished he could stop thinking…that he could get some sleep because he knew tomorrow his brother would bring him back two tired little girls who would resist any of his tempts to get them to bed because they had missed him and would want to spend with him and he knew it would be hard enough to deny them that even with a full night sleep.

He sat up quickly when he heard a noise outside the door and after listening for a few seconds, he heard it again.

"Mary?" He called as he made his way to the door, opening it to find Mary trying to sneak back down the stairs. "What happened? Are you okay?"

She sighed and turned to look at him. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I couldn't sleep…" He replied. "Did you need something?"

"I just…Umm…" She stuttered a little.

"What?"

"I needed the bathroom." She said quickly but he could tell she was lying. "But I got here and realized I would need to come through your room..."

"You could have used the girls' one." He pointed down the hall.

She looked to where he gestured. "Oh…I didn't think of that…"

"Well, you might as well use mine now…" He stepped aside to let her by.

He saw her hesitating before moving forward. He followed her back into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed while she headed for the bathroom.

"I got scared."

He was running a hand down his face when she spoken and when he looked up, he saw she was stood now facing him.

"What?" He frowned a little, sure he had missed heard her.

"I got scared….I woke up and…"

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly. He wanted nothing more than to cross the room and take her into his arms about after spending all day being distant with one another, he didn't think it was a wise move.

"What's the talk about?" She mumbled, now looking down to the floor.

Marshall just watched her for a few seconds, trying to work out what the best thing to do next was. He leaned back a little so he could reach the lamp on his bedside table, flicking it on so the room was lit with a dull, yellow glow but she still didn't look up.

"Mare…" He started and waited until her eyes flicked up towards him before continuing. "Come here."

Even when she didn't move, he stayed seated, not wanting to make her feel like he was backing her into a corner. He was pretty sure she wanted to talk since she was hovering outside his bedroom in the middle of the night but he didn't want to rush her and make her doubt her choice to come to him.

"It's late…" He continued. "Just come sit with me…"

He saw her take a deep breath before holding her head high and crossing the room. He smiled a little as he watched her sit down but leaving a big gap between them. Her independent, tough character was one of things that first attracted him to her. He knew getting her to talk wouldn't be easy but he hoped that she felt comfortable enough to be open with him.

"You had a nightmare?" He asked but she was looking down again. "It's understandable…having to face Spanky again…"

"I was fine last night…" She cut in.

"The brain can be pretty quirky with the way it deals with some things." He claimed. "It may have been because you hadn't began processing what had happened yesterday while today made you face up to it all…"

"You a head doctor now too?"

"I've had dealings with traumatic experiences…" He shrugged. "I might not understand exactly what you're going through but I know it takes a while to get your head around why it happened…why to you…how you survived…how you will get over it…"

She looked up at him. "What happened to you?"

He knew that question was coming and hoped by him sharing his story; she might be more willing to share hers.

"I got shot." He told her.

"You did?" Her eyes widened a little. "How? When?"

"It was about a year ago now, while I was still in New Mexico." He explained. "I was working a case with a colleague and we had to transport a prisoner when we were ambushed…I was hit in the chest."

"You're here now…so I guess everything turned out okay…"

"I got pretty lucky…the bullet didn't hit any organs or any major arteries but we had broken down and were in the middle of nowhere…There was no way we would be able to get the car going so we walked a short distance to an abandon building to take some shelter …When I realized that there was no one who knew where we were and that my boss probably wouldn't even realize we were missing for another hour or so, I told my partner to go, take our prisoner and find help."

"He left you?" She stared at him. "On your own?"

Marshall nodded, swallowing a little as a lump appeared in his throat as he thought back to that day. "Our prisoner was a diabetic so he carried about this little medical case…I don't know why but I thought it might help me…that it may have something in there to keep me alive until help arrived so
I told them to leave it…the prisoner protested but neither of us took any notice…I found out later, he had a tracking device in there."

"So, they knew where you were?"

"It was about 20 minutes after they had left that I heard a car pull up…I didn't think that it would be them coming back, so I managed to drag myself to the window and saw the gunmen from before…" He paused and absent mindedly rubbed his chest. "I knew I couldn't defend myself, so I hid behind his ratty couch…They seemed to be waiting for something, I don't even know how long I was there…"

"Were you scared?" She asked quietly.

"I thought I was going to die…" He admitted. "I thought about the girls…They already lost their mother…I felt selfish for risking my life by having that job…I wondered what would happen to them…if my parents would take them…If Ellie's parents would…but they didn't really know any of them…I thought Ellie might want them if I wasn't in the picture…"

"God, Marshall…" She whispered and placed a hand over his, making him realized she had moved to sit next to him during his story.

"Anyway, they came in and looked around but when they saw the medical case on the floor, they took it and left." He cleared his throat. "I lost consciousness at some point because the next thing I know, I woke up in hospital."

"Did they get the guys that did it?"

"Yeah." He nodded and turned so he was now facing her fully, moving to lace his fingers through hers. "So, I know what it's like…I know what it's like to feel helpless, trapped and defenseless…and not to know what to expect."

"It didn't seem fair…I did nothing wrong…it was Brandi's mistake." She chewed on her bottom lip. "But if I had choice…I would rather it was me then her."

"I know." He squeezed her hand.

"Everything is so messed up." She whispered, shaking her head. "I'm so messed up."

He brushed some of her hair behind her ear. "We can fix messes…"

"You say we but…"

"I'm here for you, Mary." He cut in. "Please don't doubt that."

"I don't doubt that but how is this meant to work, Marshall?" She asked. "You got a family to take care of…You got a career…I have my family…"

"My friendship doesn't come with restriction, Mare." He told her.

She sighed. "I was scared…"

"Waking up after a nightmare in a strange place…"

"Not that." She told him. "This…Us…It scares me."

He looked surprised but then nodded a little. "Yeah….me too."

"I mean, I should be at home…My sister is involved in some kind of drug deal and has a dead boyfriend...and I dread to think how much my mom has drunk in the last couple of days…" She pushed herself to her feet and started to pace. "I should be there…I should be with them, dealing with all this…"

"But you're here." He stayed seated. "With me."

"I made up my mind earlier…I was going to tell you I was going home tonight and that we should just be friends but I couldn't….When you asked me to come back here with you, I couldn't say no." She told him. "And that's crazy! I don't belong here…I shouldn't be here!"

"Don't say that…" He stood up and blocked her path.

"Don't you get it? This isn't me…I'm not the girl for you…You're not the guy for me."

"Why not?"

"Because I should be running from you…I would have done so in the past…I don't know why I'm not now."

He stepped closer to her, putting his arms around her and pulled her to him.

"Don't…." She tried to push him away but he wouldn't let her.

"We have feelings for each other, Mary….and they're not just going to go away." He told her. "We can either accept them and slowly discover a relationship together or we cut ties… we break up."

"Marshall…"

"But I think we're worth it…I think we owe it to ourselves to try it." He continued. "I know it won't be easy…I know me having children will affect us but I hope you give us a chance."

"I'm not good with kids."

"Mare, I wouldn't just dump them on you…It's not something I want to rush and I'm sure after time, you'll feel comfortable around them." He leaned back a little and used two fingers to lift her chin so they were looking at each other. "Will you consider it? For me?"

"I don't know…"

"Will you consider a date with me?" He offered.

"A date?" She couldn't help but smirk a little. "Like a real one?"

"Dinner and a movie." He suggested. "Tuesday night."

"Who gets to choose the movie?"

"You." He answered without hesitating. "And I'll pay for everything."

"My kind of night…."

"So, it's a date?"

"Yeah…" She said softly. "It's a date."

He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering for a few seconds on her skin before stepping back. "We should get some sleep."

"Right…" She nodded but he noticed her looking at the door cautiously.

"Do you want to sleep here?" He offered.

"We've been through this before…I'm not kicking you out of your bed."

"It's a big bed…" He shrugged. "We bet there's enough room for two."

She opened her mouth to make some kind of smart quip but decided against it when the idea of him sleeping beside her…protecting her…sounded so perfect.

"Okay."

He smiled and took her hand, guiding her over to the bed. She slid under the covers, watching him turning off the lamp before getting in bedside her. He turned on his side so he was facing her but didn't move any closer, not wanting to crowd her.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

She turned so her back was to him but moved backwards. He carefully and slowly reached an arm out and wrapped it around her. When she took his hand in hers, he was expecting her to shove him away but she never, instead squeezed it gently and pulled him closer to her before sighing contently.

"Goodnight, Marshall…"

TBC

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