Summary: Sakura's a strong, confident young woman, but when she starts work as a maid for NINE GUYS! Not only does she have to constantly put up with their sexist jokes and Playboy magazines, but when they start trying to get into her pants... what's a girl to do?
Sorry for the long wait, but WOWZA, thanks so much for all the lovely reviews! I love you guys!
The Trouble With Men Is
Chapter Two
…They're Lazy, Insensitive Bastards!
Sakura stomped outside to the front entrance, her face tomato red, and a look of pure disgust on her face.
She glared at the guys, and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to alleviate her anger and embarrassment.
"Do you guys have sex?" She suddenly asked. She knew it was an off topic and a vulgar question, but she remembered reading somewhere in one of those magazines that females should never ask the opposite sex the question directly. Because chances are, they'll lie, so the solution is to find a way around the question, and ask it indirectly.
...And this was the best way she could find.
The boys were all throw off guard as they gave her a strange look. There was a mixture of answers of yes, and no, and "I think I did" or "I almost".
"Okay, fine," She said briskly, "For all those of you who do have sex, let me ask you something. Do you use condoms?"
As soon as she heard herself say these words, she mentally slapped herself. "I did not think this through enough!"
Oh well, too late now.
Now they were looking at her as if she was really insane.
"Well?" She asked again, raising her voice.
A few of the boys muttered yes, and others just pretended to be deaf.
"For those of you that do use condoms, aren't you suppose to throw it in the trash can after they're used?" Sakura emphasized each syllable, "NOT just throw it in some random corner and hope no one finds it, NOT leave it on the bathroom sink so someone else can barf all over it, NOT leave it in the corner and pretend it doesn't exist, and definitely NOT leave it hanging on the tissue box, because that is just plain disgusting!" She finally took a breath as she watched the guys for some sort of reaction.
They all stared at her in plain silence… some of them actually looked scared. Even Jiraiya looked fearful.
Finally, someone spoke up.
"Eh, are you… PMSing?" Naruto asked timidly. "Because Kiba told me it's when girls act like bitches, blab a lot, throw fits, and don't know what they're talking about. And you seem to fit that description very well right now."
Kiba gave a small yelp and hid behind Lee as Sakura's head snapped up and her eyes bored into Naruto.
A boy with long brown hair, tied up in a ponytail gave Naruto a pat on the back and whispered, "It was nice knowing you buddy."
They all waited to see Sakura's reaction. But surprisingly, she was quite calm.
"So you think I'm PMSing?" She glowered at him, "Well you'd be PMSing too if you found what I did in the bathroom hanging on the tissue box."
He stared at her blankly, "What did you find?"
Sakura gaped at him incredulously, "Do you want me to spell it out for you Naruto?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "If you want, though I must warn you, I suck at languages, and spelling so it might take me a while to fully understand what you're saying."
Sakura didn't know whether he was joking or actually serious, "Do you want to know what I found?" she raised her voice again, "I found a dirty, wet, used condom, not in the trash can where it should go, but hanging on a tissue box."
All the boys looked at Kiba.
"What?" he asked, stepping back, "It wasn't me! I never use that bathroom!"
Sakura snorted, "Yeah right, so that's why there are stacks and stacks of Playboy magazines in there."
Kiba gasped, "So that's where you guys hid them! You dirty bastards! I spent three hours looking for them last week!"
"Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight," the boy with the ponytail said, "It wasn't you, Kiba?"
He shook his head, "Nope Shikamaru, not me. It must've been some other idiot in here that got lucky."
Everyone looked around to see who the guilty culprit was.
"Hmm…" the boy named Shikamaru said scratching his head, "The other maid left yesterday morning, but she cleaned up before she left, and no chicks, other than Sakura, came in today. So it must've happened sometime yesterday between the time the maid left, and last night."
He looked around suspiciously at the other eight boys.
Shikamaru turned to Naruto, "It definitely wasn't you. I know that for sure."
"Hey!" Naruto yelled defensively, as the other boys snickered, "Come on, I get chicks!"
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "No, that's not what I meant Naruto. I mean, you were up all night the day before raiding the fridge, and you ate that strange yellow goop in that jar-"
"Wait, wait, that's still in there?" Lee gaped at him.
"Not anymore!" Naruto said proudly, "For once, I finished everything in the fridge before Chouji did! Even though I had to pay a heavy price for it."
"What… did you have to pay?" Sakura asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
Naruto turned a deep shade of red and laughed, "Err- well, apparently the stuff expired three years ago, so I had a pretty bad stomach ache…"
"He spent all of yesterday cramped up in the washroom on the upper floor with diarrhea," Shikamaru finished off for him, as he bonked him on the head, "Serves you right for making us go without breakfast yesterday morning!"
"So if it wasn't me, and it wasn't Kiba… who was it?" Naruto asked hastily, trying to divert attention from his little adventures in the washroom.
"Hmm… It definitely wasn't Shino, because he was away at a bug exhibit, or something like that, right?"
Shino gave a nod.
"It couldn't have been Neji," he said, pointing to a boy with light eyes, "He was at the library all day. It wasn't me. I was playing shougi- err I mean doing manly stuff upstairs."
"So that leaves Sasuke, Gaara, Lee, and Chouji." Neji pointed out, and then smirked, "I'm betting it was Sasuke."
A boy with shaggy black hair, and boyish good looks shook his head, "I wasn't home all day."
"Really? Where were you?" Naruto asked curiously.
"That's really none of your business now, is it?" Sasuke replied back coldly.
"It wasn't me." Lee piped up, "I was out jogging out day, and I spent most of the time at the fitness center."
"Lee, we have a fitness center right down the hall, why do you bother running five miles to go over to that one?" Kiba asked, rolling his eyes.
"Yes, well unlike our gym, their gym has chicks in sports bras, and tight spandex suits." Lee grinned, "Trust me, it's worth the run."
"If you say so…" Kiba replied, but Sakura heard him mutter "freak" under his breath. And she had to say that for once, she whole-heartedly agreed with him.
"So it's down to Gaara and Chouji." Naruto grinned, "I think the answer is pretty obvious."
"Hey what about me!" Jiraiya suddenly exclaimed, clearly insulted at being forgotten.
"Jiraiya, you haven't been laid since 1965." Kiba snorted, "So I doubt it's you."
The old man turned a deep shade of red, as the boys laughed. Even Sakura gave a small grin.
The red head suddenly said timidly, in a low voice, "It wasn't me, I went to visit my brother."
The whole room went silent, as everyone stared at the chubby guy.
"No way." Lee whispered, "Shikamaru must've calculated something wrong, this isn't…"
Shikamaru shook his head and grinned, "You know what this means guys." He smirked, "Chouji got laid before all you guys!" he laughed, "And all you guys criticized him for his size! So Chouji, who's the lucky girl?"
But the oversized boy merely gave them a thumbs up sign and a hearty laugh, "A man never reveals his secrets!"
Shikamaru threw his head back and laughed as Naruto and Lee swarmed up around Chouji and began interrogating him with questions.
"Who was it?"
"What did she do?"
"Did you see her… boobies?"
"Come on man, you got to tell us your secret! How did you do it? Did you drug her?"
"Is she blind?"
Chouji merely gave a mysterious grin, and said with equal mischief, "I'll just be… going to the kitchen now." he skipped away leaving the other guys dumbfound.
Neji shook his head, "And I told him he'd get laid when pigs fly."
Sakura stared at all of them. It was a strange feeling, but she couldn't help but warm up to them, they were… sort of like a family. Like one of those ant colonies she'd seen on the Discovery Channel. Maybe they weren't that bad-
"So Sakura, are you a virgin?"
Okay, scratch all that.
She glared at Lee. "How dare you… I…"
Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders, "Lee had every right to ask. You asked us remember?"
"When did I…" Sakura began, then remembering her asking them if they've ever had sex, "Fine but I, this is different… I'm…" She looked at all ten faces staring at her waiting for an answer. Even Chouji was peeking at her through the kitchen door.
"I…" Sakura said meekly, "I don't…"
Kiba gave her a wolfish grin "Go on…"
Sakura thought the situation through. It was a lose-lose case. If she said she was a virgin, they'd laugh at her and call her a prude, if she said she wasn't, they'd still laugh at her, and possibly call her ruder names. But she knew, in actuality, she, in fact was-
"A virgin." Someone said.
Sakura looked up in surprise, "How do you… how would you know?" she retorted, turning red.
Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders, "It's obvious, your little ums gave it all away."
Neji gave a small chuckle, "I'm not surprised."
She glared at him, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Sakura waited for a reply from the pale-eyed boy. However, Naruto intervened.
"What I think Neji is trying to say, is that you have very small breasts, and that could possibly-" he was cut off by a loud cracking noise.
It all happened so fast, that before anyone knew what was going on, Naruto was on the ground clutching his bloody nose as Sakura stared at him angrily from above.
"I don't believe this, how dare you… I'm going to beat you to a-"
"Sasuke!" a voice cried out, diverting everyone's attention from the bloody Naruto. Everyone stared at Jiraiya, as if expecting him to pull some kind of miracle, "Err- why don't you show where Sakura will be staying! Yes, Sasuke! Take her up to her room!"
Sasuke stared blankly at him, and then shrugged his shoulders, "Alright."
Sakura gave Naruto a final glare before following Sasuke out the lobby, leaving the boys and Jiraiya at a loss for words.
Before she left, she could've swore she heard one of the guys say, "Nice one old man, one second later, and there probably would've been a massacre in here."
"Ib telling ju, tat oman has uperstrength!" Naruto howled, massaging his bloody nose.
Sakura followed Sasuke up the stairs and down a grand hallway. She couldn't help but notice how good looking this guy was. He didn't look like the regular conventionally handsome guy. There was something dark and sexy about him, something about him that makes her want to know more about him, something-
"I suppose you'll be wanting a tour of the house too?" he said exasperatedly.
"Oh um, don't worry about that!" she gave a nervous chuckle, and blushed slightly at her innapropriate thoughts of him, "I'll be… fine."
He gave her a look as if asking, "are you sure?" but he didn't say anything more.
"There we are." He lead her to the door at the very end of the wing, "There's your room. It's where the previous maid stayed before she went… crazy."
Sakura gave a small nod and pushed open the door. She gasped slightly as she entered. The room was nothing like she was expecting. Well, first of all, it was huge. There was a king sized canopy bed with soft periwinkle sheets, and matching curtains. The furniture was a dark oak, with flowery designs carved in. It gave the room a majestic feel.
"Wow, it's… beautiful." She said breathlessly.
"You'll get your own bathroom of course." He said dully, as if reading off a script, "I doubt you'd want to share bathrooms with us."
She nodded, still dazed at how utterly wonderful her room was.
"I'll be leaving you alone now," he gave her a curt nod, "Hope you enjoy your stay here."
Then he hesitated before adding, "Don't let people like Naruto, or Neji get you down, we're not all like that."
She gave him a shy grin, and replied shakily, "Yeah…"
Wow, he was so sweet, and kind. She stared at him as he began to walk away. They're not all bad, especially not him. He is one of the nicest guys I've ever-
"A virgin, eh?"
Sakura slammed the door.
It was nearing midnight, and Sakura was still moving in. Not to her surprise, none of the boys helped her at all. Jiraiya and Naruto tried to help, but they just ended up breaking two lamps and a vase. The others said they were apparently "busy", but all she saw them do was lounge around and play video games, with the exception of Sasuke and Gaara, whom were nowhere to be seen.
She huffed and puffed as she dragged her boxes up the stairs, cursing under her breath as she heard the snoring coming from three different ways.
"Those - damned - lazy - bastards…" she said between breaths, "They could've carried all this up in less than a minute. Chouji probably could've carried everything in one trip."
That was when she heard the strange thumping noise coming from downstairs.
She frowned slightly, as the word "burglars" came to mind. Sakura set her box in down, and slowly walked towards the source of the sound.
The thumping noise became louder and louder. It had a rhythm to it.
Thump
Thump
Thump
Thump
She slowly made her way to the front entrance of a door, where the noise was coming from.
Sakura put her ear against the door, and let out a little scream, which she managed to muffle.
Someone in there was… in pain?
She heard a low moan, followed by someone saying, "Oh… stop it… oh please… oh no…" followed by more moaning.
"Are you okay?" Sakura called out, knocking on the door. She got no response, only more moaning and low whispering.
"I'm… I'm coming in!" she said nervously as she grabbed a thin, silver candleholder off a small table.
Sakura then proceeded to kick the door open to find…
ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!!
Sorry for the long wait on this chapter! Hope you all liked it.
Please review? I love hearing from you guys!
These People Rock:
Chimiri
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Minakui
Silent Kunoichi aka. Fiona
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Bargavi – don't worry, Gaara won't be that gross! He's too sweet, cute and adorable! –goes into fangirl mode-
Akizakura
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twistedsmiles - lol, I brought in Sasuke this chapter! I don't think I'm going to make him a perv, but he'll have his moments:)
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mi-ke – thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter! As for the real pairing? From looks of it, almost everyone wants sakuxsasu.
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