i'm officially on Easter holidays, woooooooo! so hopefully i should be able to add quicker for the next two weeks! :D
169 Dougies POV
Everything mostly stayed the same for the next few weeks, Tom and Danny remained a couple, and Carrie continued to live at Toms, while we came round everyday just to make sure everything was still alright. Tom himself was still practically silent, and was becoming a master at keeping out of everyones hands. We would go to touch him and he'd somehow find a way out of our reach, either suddenly needing to do something or redirecting the way he was walking. Danny could barely even kiss Tom anymore, he always avoided any skin on skin contact, or any physical contact of any kind. He just seemed so scared, like if we touched him everything would come tumbling down around him, because of some strange reason only known to him. We tried to show him it was alright to be touched and loved by hugging each other and play fighting, but it never worked, Tom still seemed to hate the idea of being touched.
We spent most of our days in the studio too, recording 'Naked' 'I'd Lie' and 'Wish You Were Here'. Tom wouldn't show us any of the songs he had written recently, saying they were stupid and pointless, he would say anything to downplay his songs. So I decided to steal his book off of him. It wasn't that difficult really, just had to wait until he was distracted by something then make my move. I waited until it was Toms turn to sing (after many, many arguments, he hated the idea of singing right now, god knows why, his voice was beautiful) then made my move. Tom was setting himself up in the vocal booth, with Danny fussing around him like usual, making sure he was okay and would stay okay throughout this.
"Doug, go now, while he's not looking, go!" Harry pushed me forward, keeping his eyes on the other blonde, making sure he wasn't looking our way. I ran all the way over to the sofa, grabbing the unprotected book and running outside, all without anyone noticing, I was surprisingly light on my feet when I had to be. I ran all the way to the canteen again, stopping on a table far away from direct eye line, hearing and feeling Harry run up too, falling into the chair next to my own. "did they see us?" I asked, gripping the book tightly, like it would help. "no, they're still fussing in the other room. We gunna take a look or what?" Harry asked, nodding towards the book. "I'm scared to, what else had Tom put in here, apart from songs?" I whispered, actually scared to get a look inside Toms head. That was a scary thought at the best of times, but right now, I had no idea how bad Toms thoughts could go, I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.
"I know. But, it'll help us make him better, you know that. We'll make him better, and looking in here will help." Harry grabbed my hand, squeezing it for comfort. "you sure?" I squeezed his hand back, worried for when Tom realised that his book wasn't there anymore. "yeah, it'll help. Now come on, before they realise where Toms book has gone." Harry opened the book, revealing Toms mind to us.
170 Harrys POV
Toms book revealed so much to us, it was awful. Half of the drawings and songs had been scribbled out, with big black pen, so it was all illegible. There were words written in random places all over the paged, things like 'worthless' and 'ugly' were staining the pages. Some songs made me tear up, Dougie barely keeping in tears, though some made us smile. The ones where Tom wrote about love, how much love he felt for Danny. All of the songs were so good, no matter what they were about, even his songs venting about us apparently lying to him. There were some very good songs, that would sound so good once we got playing, I reckoned that there were at least 3 number 1 hits hidden inside that book, now if only we could get Tom to believe in himself and let us use them.
"guys? Have you seen Toms - wait, why do you have Toms lyric book?" Danny ran up, noticing the book in our hands. "we wanted to see his songs! They're incredible! Honestly, we could use quite a few of these!" I quickly explained, showing Danny 'Lies' it was obviously about us 'lying' to Tom about whatever it was (we still didn't know, I think Danny knew but he wasn't telling us), but the song itself was incredible, with so much power, I could imagine the rifts now, they were mind blowing.
"thats just, incredible. Whoa, thats amazing! What else is there?" Danny moved to sit down, letting us show him some other songs, like 'You' and 'I'm Still Here'. "wow, he didn't even show me these, he didn't show me any of these. We should record them though, for sure, they would blow minds!" Danny grinned, his fingers already tapping out the chords against the table enthusiastically, meaning he really, really liked these songs already, planning out all the chords and stuff inside his mind. "I know! But why wouldn't Tom show us these? They're so good, I don't get why he wouldn't show them to us!" Dougie agreed, looking confused, pressing the pages down as Danny tried to turn the page, so he didn't see what else Tom had written. That wouldn't be good for him to see the stuff Tom called himself, he was managing just fine at the moment, we didn't want to send him back into cutting again.
"you know Toms very self conscious right now, he doesn't want to worry us, or disturb us. Also he has no confidence in himself, so he automatically thinks everything he does is awful, and he doesn't want to bring up the past again, now that me and him are together again." Danny explained, was he honestly inside Toms mind or something?! "you sure you're not a mind reader, cause if thats true and Tom hasn't told you that, then whoa." I teased a little, because really, this was Danny we're on about here, he isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box. "no, I just know Tom a little too well. He is my boyfriend after all, I do know him pretty well." Danny smiled, looking like nothing was wrong, like this was 2 years ago.