i'm so sorry, i forgot to add again! i saw the comments, but then forgot to update again! :/
171 Dannys POV
The three of us poured over Toms songs for over an hour, looking through all the different working parts of his mind. I mean, I didn't look at anything but songs, not wanting to completely invade his privacy, Tom still did have the right to keep some things to himself, I just wanted to know what was going on inside his head. I still thought about Toms mental state all the time, because I knew he wasn't alright, he hated to be touched still, wouldn't even let me hold him much, let alone kiss him. But something else worried me even more, Tom had said during our argument the other week that he didn't care if he lived or died. Ever since I had been terrified that he was suicidal, and always almost had heart attacks whenever he went near sharp things, or pills. It made me want to cut again, but I stopped myself, because I was going to be the strong one in this relationship and help Tom along too, he blamed himself too much already for everything, I wasn't going to give him another excuse to be depressed. Reading through this book really helped though, gave me an insight into what Tom was actually thinking, so I knew where I was going wrong, so I could encourage him and build up his confidence again.
"boys! What the hell are you doing?! You're supposed to be helping us find Toms lyric book...wait, whats this?" Fletch made us all jump, grabbing the book off of the table. "Fletch! Er, hi, we were just reading through it, seeing if we could tune up any other songs!" I quickly covered, grabbing it back before he found anything that wasn't supposed to be read. "then why didn't you tell us you found it then? Toms being going out of his mind with worry for his book! Isn't that right, wait where have you gone now?" Fletch turned to empty space behind himself, where I guessed he thought Tom had been, my blood ran cold that he wasn't there. "when did you last see him?" Harry asked, somehow not panicking yet. "just by the studio, Paul was with us, ah, he might have kept him in there just in case." Fletch ran back with us to the studio, where we luckily did find Tom and Paul. Tom was clearly panicking and trying to get out of the studio, but Paul was blocking him every way he tried.
"let me out! Please, I need to find my book! Let me out, I'm not an animal!" Tom cried, trying to push at Paul, but not managing to do anything but get himself pushed backwards and onto the floor with a bang. "hey! Don't push him like that!" I shouted, shoving past the supposed guard and running over to Tom, wrapping my arms around him, thankful when he didn't push me back, even when I ran my hands over his back and sides to make sure he was okay, besides from being a bit thin.
"sorry, but I was given orders to make sure Tom doesn't run away." Paul shrugged, like it was a normal thing. "that doesn't mean you can shove him over! You could have seriously hurt him!" Harry growled, helping me pull Tom upright again, keeping the slightly cowering boy in our arms. "I know how much strength I used, it wouldn't have hurt him." Paul answered bluntly, like that would make everything okay again. "you don't know that! And Tom isn't going to run away again, are you? You're happier now, aren't you?" I waited for Tom to nod, "so he isn't going to run away, I trust him, and so should you!" I glared at Fletch, pulling Tom closer, letting him cling to me too.
"I do trust Tom to an extent, but I want to make sure he's not going anywhere. Don't you still lock him in at night?" Fletch countered, he had a point. "yeah, well thats going to change! We're leaving the keys at Toms tonight, so hah! We trust him, so you should start as well!" I didn't know if I actually liked that idea to be honest, but anything to spite Fletch, and prove to myself that my Tom wasn't going anywhere anymore.
172 Toms POV
"is that such a good idea Danny? We all know what happened last time we left Tom on his own with unlocked doors, we didn't see him for a year." Fletch sent me a death glare, showing how truly angry he was with me for my past actions. "yes, it is. Because we're alright now, aren't we Tommy? I'm staying over tonight anyway, and Carries also over, so there shouldn't be a problem at all." Danny glared right back, thankfully keeping his arms around me. I was trying to hide it, but I think I had hurt my ankle during my fall, and now it was throbbing and shooting pain up my leg when I applied pressure to it. It felt good, in a way, to have this pain, especially during this conversation, but still, it was awful at the same time. I didn't know how I was going to hide this while walking, putting pressure on it made me want to scream, let alone walking on it.
"there better not be, I don't want another frantic phone call from any of you telling us that Toms ran away again. Now get back to recording, we've already wasted enough time." Fletch was talking like I wasn't even there, like I was just a ghost in all of this, it killed me. He must have really hated me for doing all of this, for being like I was, for running away because of who I was, then not being able to be a better person afterwards. I hoped he wouldn't fire me for it, I was starting to look forward to doing shows and things again, I just hoped I wouldn't be fired before.
"d*ckhead. Doesn't know what he's on about. Right, come on then, off to the studio again, because we have to do some talking about your songs." Danny sighed, taking a step and forcing me to go with him. My first step was onto my right foot, and pain shot right up my leg so hard and fast it made me scream out in excruciating pain. "whoa, whats wrong?" Danny immediately stopped, grip tightening on my waist, making me cringe. "n-nothing, nothings wrong." I lied, biting back tears of pain as my ankle throbbed even more, like it had been stuck in fire. "Tom, you don't just scream in pain for no reason, did I put too much pressure on your arm?" Danny loosened his grip on my left arm, looking down at me, seeing how I was standing, "have you hurt your leg?" he hit the nail right on the head there.
"I, er, no. I'm fine, completely fine." I denied it, because I knew that I would be looked after again if I didn't lie. I didn't want to be looked after, no matter what was wrong, it was fine, I was fine, my ankle just hurt a bit, that was all. "no, you're not. Come on, don't go all shy on me, did Paul hurt you? If he has, we have to tell Fletch...okay Tommy cause Fletch won't do anything. But, you know what I mean! Come on, whats happened to your ankle?" Danny pleaded, eyes trained on my feet, I could practically feel it swelling. "okay. I fell, and now it hurts. But its fine! Really, its fine! There's no need to worry or anything, I'm alright." I admitted, but backtracked, practically pleading Danny not to worry and do his usual trick of waiting on me hand and foot. He already did far too much for me, I couldn't let him do any more, he would get so annoyed, and wear himself out.
"really, you sure your alright? Cause you did just scream pretty loudly, and have gone quite pale." Danny already started worrying, putting a hand against my clammy forehead, his other arm tightening its grip on me so I wouldn't have to put pressure on my ankle. "it was shock, I'm fine, honestly, I'm fine. And its the lights, you know they always make me look pale." I cursed the fact that I looked paler, I should have been going in the opposite direction, getting a bit more tanned, d*mn it! "alright, come on, lets get you to a chair so I can look at it." Danny went to pick me up. "no! Don't pick me up! I can walk, okay? It doesn't need looking at either, its fine! It just hurts a little bit, alright?" I tried to back away, ending up falling over instead, more pain shooting through my spine.
"I don't think you can, let me carry you, just this once, okay? Its not going to hurt in any way, just let me pick you up." Before I could say anything more, I was picked up and carried to the studio sofa, not 10 steps away, but they felt like a lifetime. "see, wasn't so hard, was it? Now let me see that ankle, just to see whats happened." Danny almost glared, using that horrible condescending tone he always used when he looked after me and I fought him because of it. "no! Its fine! I don't need it to be looked after!" I cried out, I really didn't need to have my ankle checked! I really didn't! It was fine, I was fine! "Tom, please stop fighting this! Look, either we can check it now and get it over and done with so we can try and carry on, or we can go down to the hospital and have them check it out, which one do you prefer?" Fletch now joined in too, I really, really hated that man. "fine, check away." I groaned and fell back against the sofa, so I was laying down.