The next few weeks went on like normal. At least until the morning sickness started. Until then, she'd been able to hide her pregnancy from her co-workers and friends. At least until the moment that Lanie caught her in the bathroom getting sick.
She hadn't wanted to tell her best friend that she was pregnant and that her husband and left her because of the baby. Hadn't want to admit failure.
Kate thought that she was safe from Lanie. She should have known that her best friend wouldn't give up that easily. She should have been surprised when Lanie showed up at her house that night, but she knew that it was only a matter of time before her friend confronted her.
Hearing a knock on the door that night, Kate rushed to open it. She stupidly thought that it was Josh. When she saw Lanie standing there, she sighed and asked, "What do you want?"
"It's nice to see you to."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"Sure you did, but that's okay. And you know why?"
"Why?"
"It's okay because you are my best friend and I love you and I care about you."
When Kate started crying, Lanie put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. She hugged her until she stopped crying and then asked, "Feel better?"
Kate shook her head. If anything, she felt worse than before. She was all stuffy and her head hurt from crying. Lanie handed her a tissue and asked, "What's wrong?" She held up a hand when Kate started to shake her head, "Don't tell me nothing. You don't cry like that for nothing."
Kate sighed and decided to tell her friend. She needed someone to confide in. Someone that might be there to confide in and lend her an ear. She finally told her friend, "I'm pregnant."
Lanie's mouth dropped open from shock. She finally asked, "Does Josh know?"
Kate nodded slowly and told her, "That's why he left me."
"What?!"
"He doesn't want children. He demanded that I get rid of it. He wanted me to choose between him and the baby. When I couldn't, he packed up everything and left."
It was then that Lanie looked around and noticed that all of her friends furniture was gone. She had an air mattress to sleep on, but that was it. She finally said, "What an ass. What are you going to do?"
"I'm keeping the baby. I hope that once he or she is born he will come to his senses. I know that once he sees the baby he will feel differently. I..."
Lanie didn't agree with her friend. She had always thought that Josh didn't deserve her. He loved himself and his medical career. He loved traveling around the world to help out in third world countries. He didn't deserve Kate and everyone knew it. Everyone that is except for Kate. Her friend had always had unfailing faith in her husband. And it seemed as if she was still unwilling to see him for who he truly was. He was an ass. An ass that didn't deserve a woman like Kate.
Lanie finally asked, "Does anyone else know?"
Kate shook her head, "No. And I want to keep it that way. You can't tell anyone Lanie."
"Not even Castle?"
"Especially Castle! God, if he found out he would say he told me so. He has always hated Josh."
Lanie knew why he hated the man and said, "Yeah, that's only because he's in love with you."
Kate shook her head, "We are just friends and..."
"You keep telling yourself that and maybe you will believe it. He loved you before you even met Josh and I know you loved him at one time. But the two of you were too stubborn to admit it to each other. Do you really think he needs to do any more research for his books? He probably has enough to fill fifty books. No, that man loves you, but he knows that you are married and he respects that."
Kate smiled sadly, "He does. Doesn't he?"
Lanie nodded, "Yes. You should really think about one thing."
"What's that?"
"Whether you really want to give Josh another chance. He doesn't deserve you and her certainly doesn't deserve that baby you're carrying. If he loved you he would support you. Not run away. Even if the baby wasn't planned."
"I still love him Lanie."
Lanie sighed, "I know you do. Misguided as it might be."
"Lanie... Please don't start..."
Lanie leaned forward and hugged her best friend. Then she told her, "I think you should tell Castle. You know he would be there for you."
"I know, but I can't ask him to do that. It isn't fair to him. I know what would happen. He would fall in love with this baby and it would tear him apart once Josh comes to his senses."
Lanie wasn't going to say that she doubted that Josh was going to come to his senses. Her best friend was hurting and didn't need her to add to her hurt. So, she said, "I won't say anything, but you need to tell him. Sooner rather than later. He's going to find out sooner or later. Especially once you start showing."
"I will. I just need to find a way to. I haven't even told him that Josh left."
"Really?"
Kate shook her head. She couldn't tell Castle. Because that would be like admitting that she had failed. She knew she needed to tell him, but she couldn't. At least not yet. Not until the time was right.
The next week went by quickly and before Kate knew it, the Christmas weekend was upon them. She was still having the occasional bought of morning sickness, but it wasn't too bad. She was nearly twelve weeks pregnant by then. She still hadn't told Castle. Hadn't told him about the baby or about splitting up with Josh.
Her secret would be out in the open when she arrived at work the day before the long weekend. She saw a man walking over to her desk. He had a manilla envelope in one hand and smiled at her. Then he handed her the envelope and said, "You've been served."
Kate was confused at first. At least until she opened it. When she read the contents, the tears started again. Divorce papers. Josh had filed for divorce. Great. So he was going through with it. She felt the tears start and she threw them on the desk and practically ran into the breakroom. She needed to get away from her desk.
Castle had been worried about Kate for weeks. She had been moody and depressed. So, when he saw her reaction to the papers, he couldn't help himself. He picked them up and saw that Josh was filing for divorce. That shocked him. He had thought that they were happy. Obviously they weren't. No wonder Kate was so upset. He smiled and made a split second decision.
He walked into the breakroom and saw her crying softly. He put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry. I know that you love him and..."
"You saw the papers?"
Castle nodded, "Yeah. What happened?"
This was the opening she needed. She could tell him why Josh left. Tell him that he left because of the baby, but she couldn't. So, she simply shrugged and told him,"It's not important. We...we just grew apart."
Castle could tell that she didn't want to talk about it. So, he nodded and asked her, "You shouldn't be alone. Not during the holidays. Come with Alexis and me to the Hamptons. We will have lots of good food and I make an amazing cup of cocoa. I promise you will have fun."
He could see that Kate wanted to go, but she was hesitating. She told him, "I don't want to intrude on your time with Alexis and... I'm not really good company this time of year."
"What better way to take your mind off of things than to spend some time with me and my beautiful daughter."
"I don't know Castle. I'd hate to depress you. Especially at this time of the year. No, I think it's best if I stay home by myself and...
Castle waved his hand and smiled, "Alexis will love to have you join us. Besides, no one should be by themselves at this time of the year. And whether you know it or not, Alexis has been asking about you."
That surprised Kate, "She has?"
"Yeah. She wants to know when you are coming over for dinner again. You made quite the impression on her."
"Really?" Brilliant Kate. Can you think of any other response longer than one or two words? He must think I'm an idiot.
If he did, it didn't show. He simply smiled and told her, "Yeah. She thinks your pretty. I know she would be thrilled if you came with us this weekend."
Castle could tell that he was wearing her down.
She bit on her bottom lip. She wanted to go with him. She really did. And spending the weekend with Castle and his daughter sounded much better than being alone at her house. After thinking about it for a few minutes, she finally nodded and told him, "If you're sure Alexis won't mind."
"She will love it. We decorate the tree. Mother went up yesterday to start cooking. The house itself has been decorated since the day after Thanksgiving. It's going to be magical. Please say yes..."
Kate could tell that this was important to Castle. There was something about the way his eyes literally sparkled when he talked about spending time with her. Then when he asked her to say yes, her heart melted and Kate smiled, "Then yes. I'd love to go with you."
The smiled that sprang onto Castle's face made her smile. She felt happy for the first time in weeks.
He told her, "Yes! I knew that I could wear you down! I'll pick you up at your place. Do you think you can get tomorrow off?"
It had been slow around the precinct lately. No murders to solve. Just a lot of paperwork. Paperwork that would still be here when she got back. She was sure that Montgomery would let her have off. He nodded, "It shouldn't be a problem."
Castle smiled and hugged her tightly. He literally looked like a little boy at Christmas and his smile was contagious and he asked, "I'll pick you up at your place. Is nine too early?"
Shaking her head, she told him, "No. I'm usually up by seven."
She watched as he hurried to the elevator. He smiled as the door closed and waved goodbye to her. She couldn't help but smile.
Kate smiled as she walked into her Captain's office. Knowing that she would be able to get the time off and for the first time in a long time she was able to smile again.
That night, for the first time in weeks, she was able to fall asleep without crying herself to sleep. And when she woke the following morning, she was excited about the day ahead.