Chapter 5-A Year Gone By

Hermione's POV:

Standing at the edge of my bed, I stared absently at the bare wall while emptying the contents of my suitcase. It was just a quarter of the way through my fifth year at Hogwarts and I had already had to take a trip home-and not for good reason. I had spent much of my time there feeling numb. Now I feared that the unpleasant sensation had followed me here; sucking the life out of me wherever I went.

But now I was back at school and I had to get into the correct mind set. Throughout the whole stay with my parents, I had been thinking about Draco Malfoy-as well as being unresponsive to the wearisome world around me. Being almost a year since the Yule Ball, the memories of that perplexing night were constantly filling my head. My situation had also added to the pile of reasons for thinking about that blonde Slytherin boy. Almost every night, I had curled up in bed thinking about how he would treat muggles if he knew. Almost every morning I had ate my breakfast with my parents, watching them as I wondered what he would think of them if he knew. His sudden change of character on that one evening had altered my perspective of him. I desperately longed for there to be some good in him-but that was just to end the constant torment that he had directed towards me over the years. There was probably nothing different or secret about him. We also hadn't spoken since the Yule Ball. The only contact that we had had was when he occasionally bullied Harry, Ron and I. But during these incidents, his snide comments had been largely directed at Harry and Ron instead of me. For this I was grateful.

My hands froze in the middle of removing a t-shirt from my suitcase, clutching firmly at the material as if I needed it to survive.

"Stop it Hermione..." I mumbled to myself, attempting to throw the thoughts of Malfoy from my mind. Shaking my head, I continued rearranging my few possessions. It was O.W.L year and I had to stay focused on that-not on whether or not Malfoy was a secret softy.

All of a sudden, the door to my dormitory flew open and Ginny stumbled in. A beaming smile lit up her face as she hurriedly crossed the room towards me. Forgetting to drop the jacket I was holding, I opened my arms and briefly hugged her with it still in my grasp.

"Hermione are you alright? Why did you go home?" She questioned, releasing me from her quick embrace but holding me at arm's length with a worried expression. I shook my head.

"I'll tell you later."

I wasn't ready to tell anyone-besides Harry and Ron who already knew. Examining my reluctant expression, she nodded in understanding and dropped her arms back to her sides. Then her gaze fell on the jacket in my hands.

"Hermione, why aren't you using magic to put that away?"

Glancing down at my hands, I opened my mouth to say something. But then shut it again as my mind gave me nothing to say; no helpful words of description. I turned and walked towards the trunk at the end of my bed. Then placing the jacket inside it, I rapidly thought of a simple reply.

"I suppose I've just gotten into the routine of doing it the muggle way; because I was at home for so long." I mumbled, not looking at Ginny as I hurried past her to pick up another item of clothing. She sat down and watched me suspiciously.

"You were only there for a week." Ginny stated, knowing that my excuse had been false. With a sigh I shut the lid of my trunk and leant over it.

"I'm just distracted."

"What in the name of Merlin are you distracted by? It's your O.W.L year and you're Hermione Granger."

"It's nothing."

She stayed silent while I tucked my suitcase underneath my bed, watching me with cautious eyes. But as I finally began to relax again, she opened her mouth-scratching my last tender nerve.

"Come on just tell me. Is it about the reason for your trip home? What is it?"

"Ginny just shut up and drop it!" I snapped. Her brown eyes widened as she winced. Guilt began to creep into my stomach so I stormed out of the door and down the winding staircase. The candles flickered as I swept past them and my shadow danced along the stone walls.

When I reached the bottom of the staircase and entered the main section of the common room, I scanned my eyes over the area. The room was almost empty. A handful of students were spread out on the floor-helping each other with homework- and there was a small group of people gathered around a game of exploding snap at the table in the corner. Another huddle of Gryffindors scurried past me on their way up to the dormitories. At last my eyes fell on Harry and Ron. They were perched on the couch in front of the fire, absently watching the flames lick at the wood. With a smile finding its way onto my lips, I headed towards them. Harry was the first to notice me as his head snapped around at the sound of me moving behind him. Jumping up, he smiled weakly back at me and pulled me in for a gentle hug. I was grateful for the contact from someone that I was so close to. Ginny was a dear friend to me but she didn't understand what I was going through right now. Also she had annoyed me. I latched my arms around Harry's neck and nestled my head into his shoulder as he rubbed my back in soothing circles.

"Are you alright Mione?" He whispered into my ear. I nodded slightly and muttered 'mm-hmm' in return. We both knew that I wasn't ok at all. But it was the only thing that he could say at the moment. Harry released me and examined my face instead.

"You look tired." He declared, frowning deeply.

"I haven't been sleeping very well." I admitted quietly. Harry nodded in understanding. It was perfectly normal that I had been having trouble sleeping considering everything that had been on my mind.

Looking at Harry, I took some time to readjust to the changes that he had gone through over the summer-I hadn't had much time to get used to them before I had been sent home. He was taller for one thing, much lankier than he had been over the summer. And his hair was much shorter considering that he had allowed it to grow wildly the previous year. All of the child-like roundness to his face had completely disappeared, making him seem a lot older. I smiled lovingly at him again and he, slightly confused, returned it. Then noticing that Ron had been standing slightly behind us the whole time, I stepped around Harry and walked towards him. Ron and I had never hugged a lot-mostly due to the fact that Ron wasn't a 'hugger'-but he hesitantly held open his arms for me. An awkward smile reached his lips as I stepped into his hug. He briefly wrapped his long, pale arms around my torso and allowed me to pat his back before he removed himself and took a slight step backwards.

"It's nice to have you back Hermione." He grinned, a great deal more comfortable now that we weren't having contact. Ron was much taller and his hair-alike to Harry's-had been cut shorter. His shoulders had also filled out a bit more.

"I've missed you both." I agreed. The pair of them drifted back onto the couch so I followed and dropped down in between them both.

"So umm...how are your parents?" Harry asked delicately. I glanced at him before dropping my gaze to the crackling fire in front of us.

"They're...better."

We all remained silent for a while then, unsure of how to move on. I felt sorry for them both, having to dodge around my sensitive topic in fear of upsetting me.

As the hours ticked by, the chatting remained light and they managed to not create any awkward or distressing discussions about my problem; which I was tremendously grateful for. I had yearned for one of these simple conversations ever since I had returned home. And I despised myself for it. It was so selfish. However, I continued to distract myself by greedily absorbing the cheerful atmosphere instead of allowing my demons to torture me with the truth. I didn't deserve my friends.

I'm sorry it's short but I wasn't feeling motivated becausesomebody's not reviewing. :/

I was also busy packing because I'm going on holiday in a day so there also won't be any updates for maybe over a week. Please review and tell me what you think. Whenever I see people viewing but not REviewing, it automatically makes me think that you find it crappy and then I don't really want to continue writing it so yeah please just review. Even if it's just one simple word. It seriously doesn't take more than one word and 5 seconds. Of summer. (If you get that then you're my friend.)