I just want to thank you all for the reviews and follows and favorites.
I also need to make it clear that as of right now Shelby does not know she is Rachel's mom and Rachel doesn't know she is Shelby's daughter. Also, the Berry men were not married when Shelby became a surrogate. She only knew of Hiram and his last name was Robertson. That is why she didn't pick up on Rachel being her daughter. Also, she was famous in the Broadway community before becoming pregnant; she just hadn't done anything huge yet.
Also a HUGE shout out to my co-author…she helped me tremendously on this chapter, with the plot.
' Mamma who bore me…Mamma who gave me…Mamma, the Angels…Who made me so bad' The ringing of my phone breaks me out of my trance. I pick it up off the floor and sit on the edge of my bed. I look at the screen to see the same number that had just called before.
"Hello?" I say again, my voice cracking.
"Rachel? It's me, Shelby." I hear her say on the other line.
"Hey. Sorry about earlier, I just didn't expect you to call. And so soon. I mean, just meeting you last night was enough and hearing what you told me made my life and I am talking on the phone to you and I am just so happy and I, " I pause to breathe, "I am rambling, I am sorry."
I hear her laugh, "It's okay. Did you make it back to Lima okay?"
"Yes, Ma'am." Is this really happening?
"Good, good. So about the therapist situation, I couldn't find one who would be willing to talk to you without your parent's permission. So I have some up with another plan." I nod but then realize she can't see me.
"Okay."
"I want to help you."
"Okay how? You tried a therapist but that didn't work. You don't have to do anything to help me, you've already done enough."
"I want to stay in contact with you. I want to be pen pals, we can write letters to one another. You can email me whenever you need to vent or to talk. I will listen."
"Oh, Shelby, I couldn't do that to you. I am a very clingy person. You have a very busy life, you are a legend. I don't want to be a burden. I didn't write you that letter expecting you to do anything about it. I just wanted you to know that you have saved me from myself."
"Rachel, I would not offer this if I didn't think that I would have time to help you."
"Why do you care so much? Not to be rude, but no one has ever cared like this."
"Well, your story is very close to my heart. I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't help you out." I take a minute to think about this whole situation. I mean what would it hurt? No, you are too clingy. Yeah but she is offering. You're just going to run her away like you have everyone else, Rachel. Maybe she is different. Maybe she isn't.
"Okay." I say before the other voice takes over and changes my mind.
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"Great, well I am going to send you a text with my email so you can have it."
"Okay, I will email you and let you know I have received it."
"Thank you so much for this opportunity, Rachel."
"No, thank you. So much. You truly are an angel."
"I am just doing what I feel is right. But I need to get off of here and handle some things, so I look forward to hearing from you, Rachel."
"Okay. Have a good day, good bye."
"Good bye, sweetie." I hang up the phone and immediately send Kurt a text. GET OVER HERE NOW IT IS AN EMERGENCY! Xoxo, Rach. I place the phone on my night stand and rush downstairs to wait for Kurt.
Shelby POV
My car pulls up in front of the apartment; this is one of my few days off. No tour, no shows, just me time. I walk into my empty apartment and immediately start the kettle. I unpack a few things before I hear the whistle of the kettle. I grab my favorite mug and pour the boiling water into my cup over a tea bag. Once my tea is finished I sit on the couch, my mind can't help but to start thinking about Rachel. The look of longing in that little girl's eyes. The way she was clingy to me, almost for dear life. I have to fix this little girl this time. I am not going to be the cause of another suicide.
I am sitting in a secluded booth in a local diner in New York, minding my own business, reading a contract with the couple I am going to be giving my baby girl to, and drinking decaf coffee. This little girl, maybe 15, walks up to me timidly.
"Ms. Corcoran. My name is Vanessa and I am a huge fan." I look up to see a beautiful, young girl talking to me. I immediately reach down and hold my very pregnant stomach, hating myself even more at this point for what I am about to sign.
"That's very sweet. Would you like an autograph?"
"No, I mean yes, but there is something else also." She almost looks scared.
"What is it, sweetie?"
"I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes."
"Sure, pull up a seat." I say, smiling and placing the paperwork back in the folder. Vanessa sits down and begins playing with her hands. "You can talk to me, honey."
"I want to kill myself." She says point blank. I instantly feel my heart break. She continues, "I was raped by my father and my mom doesn't believe me. My life at home is a living hell. Ever since I told my mom what happened and she talked to my dad about it, I have been getting a nightly beating from him and I hear him hit my mom too. My mom has become distant and never speaks to me and I can forget about her hugging me or telling me she loves me. She doesn't love me; I know it, that's why she won't say it. I don't even talk to my dad because I am scared that if I do, it will make him angry and he will start hitting me again. You are the only thing I have that gets me through the day. Your music is phenomenal, it gives me hope…however I am not sure that it is enough anymore." I am fighting back the tears when she finishes speaking. She, on the other hand, has a very blank look on her face. Almost as if she is numb to feeling. I reach out and grab her hand, holding it between both of mine.
"Sweetie, thank you so much for sharing this with me. It means so much. I am sure that your mom loves you. Maybe she is just scared or doesn't know how to show it." My voice cracks. I look into her deep chocolate eyes, they are so lifeless. "Please, honey, don't take your own life. It will get better I promise. Here" I take out a pen and write my number. "Anytime you need to talk to someone, please call me. I will always listen and try to help you the best I can."
"Oh no. You don't have to do that. I just wanted you to know that because of you I am alive today." She says quickly looking down at the table. I reach over, lifting her chin up to look at me.
"That may be, but I still want you to have it, just in case, okay?" She nods and gets up.
"I better get back before my mom comes looking for me." I stand up as well and wrap her in the tightest hug I can, being 8 months pregnant and all. "Thank you, Ms. Corcoran."
"Call me Shelby." I say as she walks away. "Oh, and Vanessa, I am going to worry about you."
A few weeks later, I receive a call from a number I am not familiar with, just as I am going into my apartment.
"Hello, Shelby speaking."
"Shelby? It's Vanessa. I need to talk."
"Okay, Honey. I just got home, let me put the groceries up and I will call you right back, okay?"
"Oh, okay. Sure." I hang up and begin putting the milk in the refrigerator when I feel a very wet substance dripping down my leg. I look down and see that my water has broken. I grab my overnight bag and head downstairs to hail a taxi. On the way to the hospital, I call my lawyer.
"It's Shelby. I am on my way to the hospital. I am in labor." The lawyer informs me that he will meet me there. This whole adoption will go very quickly. I have the baby, the doctor takes her away, I get home and my lawyer makes sure the couple gets her. Once this baby comes out of me, I will not be allowed to have any contact, unless she contacts me first. I won't even know her name, first or last. Hell, I only know the last name of one of the men, Robertson, or something like that.
About an hour later, I have just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. When the doctor gives her to the nurse, I swear she looks at me and she knows I am her mom. He dark chocolate eyes…Oh Shit. I was supposed to call Vanessa back. I send her a quick text letting her know I went into labor.
The next morning as I am getting ready to go home, I decide to stop by the nursery just to maybe catch a glimpse of my baby girl. While I am standing at the window a man walks up to me.
"Which one is yours?"
"I am not sure. But it doesn't matter, she isn't really mine. I was just a surrogate."
"Shelby Corcoran?"
"Yes?"
"I am Hiram Robertson. I am one of the men who adopted your baby." My heart stops. This is my baby girl's daddy. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes; I have to get out of here.
"Oh okay, well she is beautiful. I have to go." I saw as I walk away from him and my baby as fast as I can.
Once I get home I call Vanessa. It rings four times before a man picks up.
"Hello?" He sounds angry.
"Yes, I am looking for Vanessa. My name is Shelby."
"Well you will never get to speak with her again."
"Why? Is everything okay?"
"It is now. She is dead. She committed suicide last night." The phone falls from my hand. Oh god, if I had just called her back she might still be alive. If I had just talked to her instead of worrying about the damn milk, she would still be here. She is dead because of me. This gorgeous 15 year old girl who had so much potential is gone. My baby is gone. What have I done?!
I wake up from the dream in a cold sweat. I can't let this happen again. I am going to do everything I can to help Rachel. I get up from the couch and make my way to my room to get her letter from my bag.
"Please enjoy this Verizon ring back tone while your party is reached…It's time to try defying gravity. Kiss me good bye I'm defying gravi-Hello?"
"Hello, Rachel?"
"This is she."
"Hi, Honey, It's Shelby." I hear the phone drop and the line goes dead. Oh god, I wonder if she is okay.
"Please enjoy this Verizon ring back tone while your party is reached…It's time to try defying gravity. Kiss me good bye I'm defying gravi-Hello?" Her voice cracks.
"Rachel, it's me, Shelby." I say, hoping this time she doesn't hang up.