Bonus musical accompaniment: Cue up Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants and hit play when it begins to be played in the story. On the four count. On the other hand, depending on your sensitivity, this may ruin the song for you.
Warning: Actually as much as I joke, this one gets a serious trigger warning.
Finally, news: The acotr who played Chuin in the bad Destroyer movie in '83, Joel Grey, came out as homosexual this week. Not saying it means anything, just that it is interesting. Also proves, once again, that a gay man can play a badass.
Chapter 28
NERV records personnel Dr. Ritsuko Akagi Hearing regarding aftermath of July 30, 2015 incident Partial Transcript
[REDACTED]: Please explain why you saw fit to place the third child in a medically induced coma following his admission to the infirmary.
Dr. Akagi: Because I saw what he did! I know you saw the film too. We have nearly twelve hours of footage showing him and the first slaughtering their way across the city!
[REDACTED]: Under orders.
Dr. Akagi: And taking on angelic characteristics, was that under orders? The third child was a danger to everyone present. (pause) At least he is still asleep, I can't believe you let the first just walk out of here with those barbarians Ka-
(Interference, noise of microphone being shut off)
[REDACTED]: Thank you Dr. Akagi, you are dismissed.
It was Sunday, a week after peace had been brought back to the city. Misato had wanted to stay in bed so bad, she was still catching up on her sleep. But Asuka had lured her out with the ultimate temptation.
Neither beer nor ale can match the alluritive, and frankly aphrodisiac, properties of that most sublime of foodstuffs.
Ironically, the temptation by bacon was to get her up and ready for church.
"Asuka, I know you were really bummed about missing last week, but nobody was even holding services."
"Last week isn't the problem Misato. Come on, finish up so we can get going."
"Look, I promise I will go next week, can't you go alone just this once?" Misato whined. Her head was still screaming at her about the light coming through the windows.
"But Misato-saaaaaaan…" Asuka said, hands bundled up under her chin and her eyes just as wide as they could be. "Its really important and would mean a lot to me for you to come. I really want to get to know the people here, but I feel so alone, like an outsider you know, and…"
Misato knew she was being manipulated. Asuka was good at this. She knew just how thick to lay it on. Oh dear god the tears were starting.
"You need someone to drive you, that's it isn't it?"
"Weeeeeeeeell, I would be being dishonest if I said I wanted to walk, but you should really trust me when I say I have the wellbeing of your immortal soul as my highest priority. And if you are going to take me anyway, what's the point in driving all way back here, so you should really just come with."
Misato shoved one more piece of bacon in here mouth before pushing the plate away. That stuff was dangerous.
"Okay okay, let me get cleaned up and find something decent to wear." She said, stood, and turned back towards her room.
As soon as the major turned her back, Asuka pumped her arm and squeaked a quiet "Yes!"
When Misato thought she heard something and turned around, Asuka was already at the sink cleaning up, whistling.
They were driving along one of the hillside highways that surrounded the city on three sides, on the way to the church Asuka had picked out. Misato had ended up wearing a professional blue dress with a blazer and a pair of flats. Asuka wore her yellow dress with her A-10 clips in her hair and her red chucks.
From their place on the hillside, they had a clear view of the bay that bound the city to the south. Well it wasn't really a bay, more of a large inlet off the deep water passage that had been carved in from the coast during the construction of the city. It actually helped make up for the relative remoteness of the city, since goods could be brought in directly by large transport ships.
In the middle of the bay floated the thing some called NERV's new friend. Others called it a reminder of their shame.
In the aftermath of the attack and the release of that film accusing NERV, the overnight army that called itself MSF, had set itself up to become the golden boy of the many of the political factions within the UN. Gendo Ikari had been made commander of NERV because he was seen as someone too selfish and hard nosed to be influenced. Those looking for a foothold in Tokyo-3, and influence over the pilots, saw a private organization as just the way to get it.
So when they asked for nearly a billion dollars for services rendered, in addition to ongoing pay and official recognition of legitimacy by the UN, with the option of taking materiel in lieu of cash, nobody said no. When they said they would trade three hundred million in bills for a certain aging ship from the UN fleet whose crew had been mostly wiped out during the angel attack at sea, nobody argued.
Now in the bay of Tokyo-3, the ship once known as the Iowa, of the class of the same name, sister to the infamous Missouri, floated. Even from high in the hills, they could see the half done repaint. The bow of the hip back to the second gaping turret hole was painted dark grey, and a vertical yellow band encircled the bow. The ship had been delivered without the major gun turrets, at MSF request. They had claimed to have no need of such imprecise weapons.
Misato's phone rang and she slipped it out of her pocket. Oh dammit, its him. She had spoken to the nasty little German almost every day since they had met. He had apparently been made the NERV liaison after staring down the commander that day, but she had the disgusting feeling he had a thing for her. With a sigh she flipped open her phone.
"Major Katsuragi."
"Ah, Frau Major, how are you zis lovely morning?"
"On my way to church Warthog, what do you want?"
"As always to business, gut gut. You see, just recently I have been made aware of a custom from the US navy by some of our American comrades, called a 'steel beach'. As it ist Sunday, und of course it has been a very difficult week, I think everyone deserves a little party. My boss made it clear that I should inform you that yourself, ze fraulein Soryu, und any other NERV personnel who wish to come are most velcome und will be treated as our honored guests."
"Would love to, but like I said, on the way to church."
"Oh after services of course, ve vill be doing zis all day und I suspect long into ze night. As ze helicopter deck ist somevat occupied at ze moment, just let us know und we can send a dingy around to the docks."
"I will of course pass on the invitation, goodbye." Misato said and snapped the phone shut. She figured leaving that last statement ambiguous was best.
"What as that all about?"
"Our new friends, wanted to invite us to something called a steel beach, some kind of party."
"Oh, those are awesome. Its like a big picnic with music and barbecue, and swimming and stuff onboard the ship. Do you wanna go?"
"Not particularly."
"Oh come on Misato, it will be fun. Besides, you need time to relax instead of just drinking in your room."
"Asuka!"
"Oh come on, you didn't think I would notice this morning? Lets go, it will be fun."
Misato sighed and drove on. "We'll see."
It took another ten minutes to get to the church. Asuka scampered off to find the youth pastor while Misato tried to mingle. It was unsuccessful, and she just slipped inside and took a seat in a pew near the back. The church was a fairly typical protestant affair, plain white and lacking anything truly specific on the walls or windows. It could have been twenty different denominations and would not have looked any different.
Misato pushed her elbows against the rail on the back of the pew in front of her and clenched her hands together. She lowered her head and was silent for a while.
"Hey… long time no talk…"
Warthog left his phone with a corporal who would let him know if he had a call. It would not due for MSF's NERV liaison to be out of reach. He was ready to walk out onto the deck, then thought about it again and left his glasses with the young man too.
For the first time in a decade, he walked shirtless in the light of day. Where once his body had been host to hateful art, it now bore only the light red lightening marks of having been blessed by the dark mother.
As he passed several Ethiopian soldiers, some of whom he remembered training, he waved. They waved back and yelled out "Jambo!"
As he stepped onto the tarps which covered the helicopter deck at the stern of the ship, he checked his pockets one last time to make sure he had left his phone inside. Ah good, he had. They had laid out the tarps when it was found the deck became much too warm for bare feet in the August sun.
He walked up to the edge of the deck and watched the men and women swimming below. He was sure to watch out for anyone below him, he did not want a repeat of this morning's incident, that wouldn't do at all. Sure that the LZ was clear, he took a few steps back from the edge.
"Kannonkugel!" he yelled and jumped into the water.
High above, Rei watched her people celebrate. They had much to be happy about. She was pleased, but did not share in their joy. Shinji still slept, thanks to Dr. Akagi and her meddling. It was clear to Rei now, Dr. Akagi was an enemy. Somehow this made her actions seem less despicable. By giving them reason, Rei could better understand them.
She would still have to be eliminated at some point. Rei considered if there was anyone whose loyalty she felt needed testing.
Asuka had found another girl her age who was heading to the youth service. Apparently the pastor liked holding it outside. They heard soft guitar music as they crossed the grassy yard.
"Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me, I didn't ask your name."
"That's okay Asuka, its Hikari, Hikari Horaki."
"Nice to meet you Horaki-san."
Hikari giggled and gave Asuka a shoulder bump. "Hikari is fine, no offense you sound really awkward using honorifics."
"Sorry, its my fourth language."
"Oh my gosh, four?! What else do you speak?"
"Well I actually speak five, I learned Japanese fourth though. I speak English, German, Spanish, Japanese, and French."
"Wow, that's amazing."
"So, um, I just moved here and I am starting school in a few weeks, where do you go?"
"Tokyo-3 secondary, I am starting high school." Asuka said, not bothering to add against her will. Apparently her superiors felt her Japanese needed work.
"No way, me too!"
"Awesome, here is to us ending up in the same class."
"Hey there ladies!" They heard beneath the tall oak tree in the church's yard.
"Hey there Mr. Na-" HIkari said before an ear shattering squeal interrupted her. Asuka tore across the yard and hugged the man under the tree with the guitar so hard he nearly fell over.
"And I will not be defeated by a memory." Shinji said and pushed open the worn door. He felt the courtyard fade away again and new ground come to meet his feet. It didn't feel too different of course, dirt and dry grass. He heard birds tweeting and voices in the distance. Shinji took a deep breath and looked around.
It was his elementary school. He was standing on the far end of the fields. He could see the hut like wings, all pre-fab steel, across the grass from him. On the opposite corner of the field was a little services building they had called the "field house". It was a little brick thing, constructed so the fields could be used as a park without worrying about people relieving themselves in the school.
The school bell rang and children streamed out of the classrooms. Shinji started walking across the grass to the brick restrooms. No point delaying this. He caught sight of his twelve year old self leaving the school and walking his direction. His teacher was always super stingy about letting kids go to the restroom after lunch, so Shinji made a habit of waiting until he walked by the bathrooms in the fields on the way back to the restaurant. There was always a crowd in the ones on school grounds right after the bell.
And running up behind his younger self, there he was…
"Hey, Shin-chan, wait up…"
He was always just that little bit too familiar, too close. But he had been friendly when nobody else was. So they hung out. Shinji had just thought they were good friends, he hadn't known what to be wary of.
"I gotta pee, one sec."
"Me too, been holding it since fifth period."
Shinji watched them pass. He tried to reach out and touch his younger self's shoulder, but his hand just passed through. Just like when he tried to stop the vision of his father from hitting him.
"Vasuki… do I need to watch?"
No.
Small mercies. Shinji sat down on the grass and waited. He couldn't see what was going, but he could hear it. He didn't imagine the sound actually escaped the brick building with the metal door, it just ran like a soundtrack in his head.
Stop…
Hey stop…
No…
"But shin-chan, I'm your only friend…"
"Oh my gosh I missed you so much, I can't believe you are here." Asuka said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet , still hugging the boy.
"OH, yeah, good to see you too Asuka, uh would you mind letting go its getting kind of hard to breath." He said in raspy breaths.
"Oh right sorry." She said and let go of him, giggling nervously.
"So here to join my little flock?"
"Only if you still play requests."
He chuckled. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is my friend Asuka Langely Soryu. She is from a long ways away. If you don't mind, before we start, I'd like to play a song she really likes. I think it will get some good discussion started in your hearts. It is called Birdhouse In Your Soul and is by an American pair called They Might be Giants." He stopped when there were giggles and laughs. "I know, odd names right? They are funny over there. Do you want to sing it with me, Asuka?"
"I'd love to."
"Alright and one two three four…"
"Can't we just fast forward through this part or something?"
No.
I said stop it!
Come on, Shin-chan…
No, let me go!
That's not very nice Shin-chan, not everything I've done for you.
I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little glowing friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am
He rapped on his guitar to imitate the drum beats and began to circle around Asuka at they continued.
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
You know Shin-chan, I've been thinking…
Screams, then muffled gurgling.
Its not nice to interrupt, I told you that already. Have you really considered your own self identity?
Whimpers, sobs, pleas for mercy.
I mean think about it. All the fun we just had, we can do that any time, and I mean you act like such a girl anyway, with your cooking and sewing and stuff. We could be boyfriend and girlfriend, how would that be?
I…I'm not like that.
What do you mean "like that"? What are you talking about?
I don't like guys okay, I'm just a little nervous about-
Shinji remembered the feeling of his fist to the side of his head. Then the wild kick to his stomach once he was on the floor. He twitched as he sat there on the grass as they happened.
Are you calling me gay?!
Another kick. The taste of blood in his mouth.
I thought we were friend's Ikari! Is that how you treat your friends? They open up to you and you call them a fucking faggot?!
I never called you that…
More hits, more screaming.
Fucking traitorous faggot, no wonder nobody likes you.
Shinji remembered how good the cold tile felt on his skin as he laid there and watched his shoes walk away. Shinji looked up and watched as he came out the door.
Something was different from this angle though. He looked bigger, older, walking out that door. Shinji watched him come back to the foot path and walk towards him, back towards the school.
Then he stopped.
I have a secret to tell
From my electrical well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
He and Asuka sang really to each other more than anyone, skipping in a circle under the shade of the oak tree.
So the room must listen to me
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note spelled L-I-T-E
My story's infinite
Like the Longines Symphonette it doesn't rest
Shinji looked up at the boy. He didn't remember him being there when he came out, or going back in, what was he doing?
"Hey there…" The boy said. Shinji looked around but found nobody else he could be talking to. Then the boy looked down right at him, into his eyes.
"…was wondering when you would get here Shin-chan."
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your sooooooooooooul
They held the last note and took a deep breath afterwards.
"Your voice has only gotten more beautiful Asuka-chan. You know we have a choir, you should join." He said. The girls among the group tittered agreement.
"Not sure I have time, I kind of have a job. I promise to be here every Sunday though, it is so wonderful to see you again Kaworu."
"Nagisa…" Shinji snarled out and rose to his feet.
"See Shinji, even after you betrayed me in there, I always had confidence in you. Now look at you, fighting for humankind. Now that teacher of yours is a patriarchy-propagating pig, but you are in an equal and respectful relationship with a strong woman. So you got some good and some bad going on."
This was no longer a memory.
"Course I need to ask you, why fight at all? Humans are destroying their planet. Thanks to a commercialistic, machismo driven…"
"You know, I'm going to stop your right there."
"Its not polite to interrupt."
"It ain't polite to rape your friends either, doesn't stop you."
Kawaro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh I spoke too soon. See you just don't get it. I shouldn't expect you to, you are a fighter, nothing but a blunt instrument. I am trying to explain to you how wrong you are, and how the world would be a better place if you just listened! Instead, you keep your own frail value structure propped up by drowning me out with your brainwashed rhetoric. God, do you even watch something besides Vox news? Maybe read a book once in a while? I am sure I can find some with pictures for you! How dare you shame me for my sexual preference."
Shinji just shook his head and laughed, this was pathetic. He got it now; he understood this and his dad.
"You are inside my mind Nagisa."
"Yes, I am, probably because some part of you still remembers how this is all supposed to go."
"You are inside the mind of a god. You are nothing more than energy arcing between motes of dust in the emptiness of space."
"You know what, check your macho power, heteronormitive, cis-gendered, male, fucking privilege!"
"Do you have anything important to say before end I, or just going to keep going on like that?"
"Oh what are you going to do, go all…" The white haired boy raised up his hands and spoke in an insulting parody. "Oh, I am Shiva the destroyer erp da derp da derp' on me? You know what, yeah I do have a message for you. It is so far beyond your understanding I doubt you will even see it though. Damn neanderthal."
The school and the field disintegrated away, followed by the sky and the sun. Shinji was left there, standing on nothing, in infinite blackness with Nagisa still, annoyingly, there.
It flickered into existence, like a signal coming into focus. A hundred feet high, a stone mask, just like the ones on the angels.
SHINJI IKARI, YOU STAND BEFORE SOMETHING SO GREAT, SO BEYOND YOUR PHILOSOPHY, THAT YOU CANNOT EVEN DREAM OF IT…
"Really? Lose the damn mask, I'm not interested in talking to a fake."
WE ARE THE ORIGINAL, WE ARE PROGINITOR, WE ARE THE DESTROYER AND REMAKER.
"No!" Shinji said and raised a fist. "I am!"
He swung and shattered the mask into dust with a single strike. The pieces faded to nothing, and Shinji looked upon what he supposed was the true face of the enemy.
Unlike the mask, a figure whose barest shape was human, but it was like it was not really there, but rather just an outline, or a shadow. Where there would be a face on a man there were two rows of sketchy white circles, which Shinji supposed might be eyes, one of four and one of three.
"Resorting to violence, so typical of the…" Nagisa began, before the figure waved one arm and he disappeared.
Shinji regarded the figure, tilting his head one way, then the other. He laughed when he realized he was acting like Rei.
"Okay, so who are-"
SILENCE. THIS IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY CHANCE TO SAVE YOUR DEAD END FORM OF LIFE. WE TRIED TO WORK WITH ANOTHER, THAT ONE HAS FAILED. YOU WILL REDUCE YOUR POPULATION TO LESS THAN FIVE MILLION SENTIENTS WITHIN SEVEN OF YOUR PLANET'S DAYS. IF YOU DO NOT, WE WILL COMPLETE THE PROCESS AND ELIMINATE YOUR DYING WORLD BEFORE YOUR TINY MINDS CONCIEVE OF A TRULY CREDIBLE THREAT TO US.
"Oh, really?"
YES
"I don't think so."
THE PROCESSES OF YOUR TINY NUERAL TISSUE ARE IRRELEVANT.
"Except that's the space you are living in right now." Shinji said. In an instant, the darkness was replaced with Vasuki's courtyard.
"And that means I am in control."
YOU CONTROL NOTHING, NOT EVEN THE PROCESSES OF YOUR OWN MEAGER BODY.
"See, you know what I think? I think a lot of folks knew about what I am, what I really am outside of this mortal life, before I did. I think that includes you, my father and mother, and even Nagisa. Now I really hated father and Nagisa for what they did to me. Cause I was thinking they just did it for their own enjoyment, some sick pleasure. Now I get it though. This war, with you, I assume it is you anyway, sending the angels, tell me if I am wrong."
Shinji waited, the apparition said nothing.
"I will take that as an affirmative. See I think this war has been going on a while, and your… collaborator? Yeah I think that is my dad and I think he did what he did, because you told him to. Nagisa, I think he only existed for you to have him do what he did. See its like my friend here told me. All that fear and anger, it was stopping me from getting stronger. You wanted to keep me weak, so your plan would work."
Shinji began to laugh, first a mild chuckle, then a hearty deep bellow, until he was double over giggling for lack of air.
"You… you are afraid of me." Shinji said then took deep breaths to control his laughter. "Wooh, okay, so you didn't want me progressing beyond this point, is that right? So this is something important. Could I kill you right now?"
YOU CANNOT HARM US. THIS IS BUT A PROJECTION.
"My friend, tell me if I am right. Our guest's projection is quite powerful, isn't it?"
"Yes my lord." Vasuki said
"Enough power to restore you?" Shinij said, raising one open hand to his neck for his withered friend to slither onto.
"Quite enough, yes my lord." Vasuki said as he coiled himself in Shinji's palm.
YOUR PROGRESS MATTERS NOT. THE LIFE UPON YOUR WORLD IS A THREAT, IT WILL BE ELIMINATED TOTALLY.
"My friend, I do not recall, do you like your food prepared one particular one over another?" Shinji said softly to the snake sitting in his hand.
"Oh I quite prefer raw my lord."
WE COMMAND YOU TO CARRY OUT OUR ORDERS, WE COMMAND-
Shinji launched the tiny naga like a throwing knife with the flick of his wrist. In midair the little serpent opened his jaws. And opened them, and opened them, and his mouth grew so large that he swallowed the dark figure whole in a single snap of his jaws. There was a bang and a rush of air. Shinji closed his eyes against the dust, and when he opened them his friend was all around him.
Coils as thick as the ships of the fleet he had fought on, scales patterned in crimson, gold, and ebony. Shinji looked up into the sky and saw the head rise like a mountain. Jaws opened, showing fangs each greater than a man and numbering in the hundreds. Upon the head sat a crown shaped like a great tongue of flame shooting forward, worked in gold and set with rubies and emeralds.
"My friend!" Shinji called towards the sky. The great head came down, and like the naga had the first time they met like this, bowed. "Is this your true form then?"
Yes, my lord. It is in this form that I ride upon your shoulders.
"Lets not try that until I get a little bigger, okay?"
The sound of the naga's laughter was like thunder rolling through a storm.
How do you feel my lord?
Shinji took a deep breath and thought about it. He felt… good, free. Those things happened to him, he could not go back and change that. Now he knew why they happened though. They were acts of war by this thing that sent the angels.
Sure it didn't fix everything, but it cracked open those boulders of spite and hate. They were easier to manage now, he could see the time where he was free of them altogether not far ahead.
"I feel better my friend…"
Good.
"But I feel like…" Shinji looked down at his body. It was definitely improved over what it was when he came to Tokyo-3, but it just seemed like it could be so much better. Like if he had started studying Sinanju when he was a small child, like it was supposed to be. His muscles, bones, and nerves would have grown in the proper way. And what about the digestive system, surely that could be more efficient.
"…I could feel better."
When the phone started to beep, Misato silently chided whoever was foolish enough to leave their phone in church. During the service for Christ's sake!
The she realized it was hers.
She was out the door so fast she was surprised she didn't leave a sonic boom in her wake. She was flushed as red as Asuka's hair.
"Oh what the hell, warthog? Really!"
She flipped open the phone and brought it up.
"This had better be real fucking good."
"Oh Frau Major I assure you it is of the utmost importance. You vished to be made known of any changes in Herr Ikari's condition, und I have ein doozy for you…"
End
Okay, yeah, so that is as dark as this thing is going to go. Depending on your definition. I think sexual violence is far darker than, you know, plain old violence violence. There will be plenty of that. But this is, in my opinion, the most emotional dark moment of this story.
It only goes up from here, well except that one part. There is always that one part.
Did anyone catch the song reference in the previous chapter? Putting the song in for me was just because that line was too perfect. I am your only friend, I'm not your only friend , but I'm not actually your friend, but I am.
Speaking of music, and because this chapter is slightly short of where I like to be, I associate certain songs and sounds with certain characters. Below is a partial list as it is in my mind right now. Some the lyrics match the characters; some it is just more the sound. Obviously not complete.
Shinji:
Was: Tracks 25 and 26 of whatever the hell that was… and Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz
Is: King of Kings by Manowar
Will be: Painkiller by Judas Priest
Rei
Was: Wake me up inside by Evanessence and LinkinPark
Is: Beast and the Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold
Will be: Kinslayer by Nightwish
Shinji and Rei's relationship: No place I would rather be by Clean Bandit
Asuka:
Was: Something in the water by Carrie Underwood
Is: Aces High by Iron Maiden
Will be: Hurt by Johnny Cash (or NIN if you prefer that version)
Will be, after that: Amazing Grace
Kensuke
Was: End by The Doors
Is: Ride The Dragon by Manowar
Will be: All Guns Blazing by Judas Priest
Toji:
Is: The Trooper by Iron Maiden
Will be: Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown (aka the I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE song)
Misato: Head like a hole by NIN
Viral: Nikopol, obviously
Gendo: Powerslave by Iron Maiden
Kaworu: Heroin by System Of A Down. It makes sense later.
Warthog: War by Edwin Starr
I can't think of a good one for Remo, if you have any ideas, let me know.