xxPUDDxx - hmmm we'll see if it is Tom improving or not... mwhahahaha! xD

208 Toms POV

I woke up the next morning in bed, and Dougie wasn't in my arms anymore, it was Danny. I didn't even know what had happened yesterday, all I knew was that Dougie had made me hold him, for whatever reason that was, and I had fallen asleep. Between those two things, I had no idea what else had happened. Maybe I had dreamed it, and I had been in here all day, which I wouldn't have minded to be honest, at least that way I could have been out of the way.

Looking down, I realised that Danny was still sleeping, a small smile on his face, his hands holding on to my shirt tightly. I sighed, I didn't want to stay in bed anymore, we had practise today, I didn't want to be awake and not practising. I knew that my playing skills were awful, so I had to practise as much as possible, so I didn't get kicked out or let anyone down. As carefully as possible, I crawled out of Dannys arms, leaving him sleeping, wrapped in the duvet, hopping through to the wardrobe. It was pretty empty now I had gotten rid of all my tshirts with films/cartoons on, all I had left was a few shirts and a few plain tshirts. I chose a plain white tshirt and my black cardigan, with some baggy jeans, so I could get my cast through the leg.

Then I hopped off to the shower and washed, managing to keep my cast from getting wet somehow. Getting dressed was difficult through my shivers, I had been showering in cold water to make up for not cutting in days, and now been left shivering. I sternly warned myself it was for my own good and to suck it up, today was going to get far worse than this. This was our first practise day for our concert next week, and I knew how bad my playing was, let alone my singing. Fletch was going to go nuts at me, and I wouldn't be surprised if he got Paul to hurt me again. He had already hurt my ankle and caused a few of the many bruises on my body, I dreaded to think what else he would do to me.

I shuddered and carried on pulling up my jeans, covering my bruised legs and the cast, then pulled on my tshirt, hiding my black and blue chest. I had so many bruises all over my body, it scared me, just bumping against something ended up creating a bruise, and if anyone held me too tightly I ended up bruising. I still had bruises from where Danny had held me to the door to try and get me to listen to him, it looked like I had abused, when I actually hadn't been. It was all my own fault, as per usual, it was my own fault. Unless Danny had intentionally held me that tightly, no, surely not, this was Danny, he wouldn't do that, would he? No, of course not, Danny wouldn't do that, he loved me, right?

I slapped myself to stop this stupid thoughts and shoved on the cardigan, hopping back out and into my music room, thankfully not waking up Danny or Carrie. From there, I picked up my guitar and tried to play some songs, starting with 5 Colours, I got it half right, I kept on missing the G. I played it over and over until I got it completely right, if this was how I was going to carry on then we were screwed, I would never be ready in time! It was so hard to concentrate on the chords, so hard to carry on, focusing was so, so difficult, it made my head spin.

"Tommy, why are you in here? When did you get up?" Danny broke my worry, making me jump feet. "I, er, practising!" I stumbled over my words, scrambling to get up, not caring when my head exploded from sudden movement. "but why so early? Its only 7am." Danny yawned, taking my guitar off me. "dunno, couldn't sleep." I shrugged, wanting to go back to practising again, regretting ever starting to spend with everyone. I should have stayed in this room and carried on practising, maybe I would have been half way to good by now. "alright, well, come with me. The guys are arriving in a while, come and eat breakfast with us." Danny started to pull me out of the room, always careful of my leg. "no, I'm gunna stay here, carry on practising, I need it." I let go of his hand, no way was I going near good food while I could be practising, besides, I couldn't eat that anyway, I was waiting for the scraps later on tonight. "alright, but, don't make your fingers bleed again, okay? I'll see you in a while then." Danny sighed, kissing me gently before stumbling downstairs, and I noticed he was still wearing my tshirt.

209 Dannys POV

I didn't want to leave Tom on his own to practise, I wanted him downstairs with me, so I could hold him. I knew that the hugging wouldn't last long, I knew it, I had wanted it to stay a while longer, but my predictions about Tom always seemed to be wrong right now. But, anyway, I sighed and ate my breakfast, before getting showered and dressed again. Tom was still playing once I finished, this time round it was Party Girl. He was note perfect, playing every single chord exactly how we had written it, hell, he was even mouthing along to the words. I came over and sat next to Tom, wanting to be close to him still, I had been looking forward to waking up with Tom in my arms, it had disappointed me to wake up alone.

"so, you excited for the concert next week?" I asked quietly, resting my hand on Toms knee. He didn't seem to mind, just carried on playing. "yeah, it'll be good." He answered simply, not even looking up from his guitar. I could tell by his voice that he wasn't actually looking forward to it, he was dreading it. "you sure? You don't look that enthusiastic, its okay to be scared, there's going to be like, 8000 people, its kinda scary!" I stopped Tom playing by holding his hand, wanting skin on skin contact, so he knew he could talk to me. Toms hand was frighteningly frail, it was so thin and pale, I could see and feel Toms bones, especially his joints. When was the last time Tom had eaten? He was even smaller than when he first came back, how could Tom be like this? I hadn't seen him eat properly in weeks, now that I realised it, how much more weight had he lost?

"I'm not scared, just tired." Tom denied, pulling his hand out from my own, I just gripped tighter. "well then you should have stayed in bed! And if your sure, cause its alright to be scared, you can talk to me if you want. You'll be alright, don't worry." I smiled a little, trying to give him a sense of comfort, "so, how about giving this a break and coming downstairs with me? There's still some bread we can make into toast if you want." I suggested, just wanting to get some food in Tom, realising just how little Tom ate. "no, I like being here. I'm not hungry." Tom shook his head, I hoped this wouldn't turn into another thing like we had a few years ago. It had taken us ages to get Tom anywhere near normal eating habits, I didn't want to go through that again, I hated going through things like that. Stuff like that caused Tom pain and distress, which could lead to him cutting again, I was trying to keep him happy, I didn't want to have to get him in that food fight again.

"you need to have something, or you'll end up with an even worse headache. And you won't be able to concentrate, which won't help." I encouraged, knowing how much Tom hated being unable to concentrate. His head injury wouldn't be helping either, but still, he should have had the best chances of concentration. "fine." Tom growled, I sighed in relief, at least this was something. I helped him up but let Tom use his crutches to swing himself downstairs and into the kitchen, he winced as I put the toast in front of him.