Okay, adding again, but this will be the last time unless I get at least one comment on this fic. I know that you are all probably busy people and everything, but it literally takes two seconds to right a few words and click 'reply' after finishing reading a chapter. And I know that there are people reading this fic, the view count says that 17 different people are reading it, and I'm sure at least a few of you have accounts to comment through. And if not, you can tweet me corruptedpov or writeabledreams, or leave me a message in my tumblr ask box - mcflycorruptedmypov. Personally, I love knowing what the people reading this fic are thinking about it, and all types of comments are welcome, whether they be positive or negative, I love to know what you're thinking about it. I love to know where you think I'm going wrong, or if you think I can improve upon things, because I want to know this so I can improve upon it. So please, just comment, it takes literally a second to do it, and if I don't get any more, then I'll stop posting all together. I'm sorry for the rant before the add, but it just gets to me, and I know that other writers in this fandom feel the same way.
212 Dougies POV
I wriggled so I was between the sofa and Harry, holding Toms hand that Danny wasn't holding, trying to comfort him. "we all sound sh*t right now, we'll get better together, I promise." Was all I could say, I didn't know what else to say. Tom really wasn't that bad right now, sure he missed his cue a few times, and got a few words mixed up, but with his head injury and lack of food or sleep he was doing so well, I hadn't expected him to be this good. He was doing so well, why couldn't he see that?
"exactly, its been 18 months Tom, we haven't played these songs in 18 months, we can't be perfect straight away, can we? But thats why we're practising, so we're back to our normal selves. Don't be upset about not being as good as normal right now, its not your fault, we'll get better." Danny whispered, kissing Toms hair, squeezing the hand he was holding. "you sure you don't want a break now? To calm down, and rest." I suggested, wanting Tom to have a break, so he could calm down and stop crying. "no, I'm fine. I'm going to go and practise by myself, get it all right." Tom stood up and managed to walk out, without his crutches, without hopping. He just limped a bit, I didn't know whether or not to think it was good or not. "should we follow?" I asked, leaning back into Harrys arms for comfort, feeling him pull my hands away from my headband.
"we should, just to make sure there's no sharp objects, and his leg doesn't hurt from walking." Danny answered, standing up and following Toms footsteps out into another spare room. Though it was barely a room, it was more a closet, with just a chair in there. "go away." Tom whimpered the second we appeared in the door. "just making sure you're okay mate. Didn't that walking just hurt your leg?" Harry covered, holding me close to his chest so I knew he was there, because I was starting to really worry. Surely Tom would have gone into another studio, not just a little cupboard, surely, but he wasn't thinking straight...he wasn't ready for this show, or any of this! Why were we making him do this? Or was he making us? I didn't know and I was panicking on the inside because of it, I just wanted Tom to be okay, not like this, not so easily upset, not so ill.
"no, I'm fine. Didn't hurt at all." Tom shook his head, plucking at the strings on his guitar, he was playing 'I'll Be Okay'. "well, alright. We'll be in the other room if you want us, see you later I guess." Danny turned away and walked back to our studio. "he'll be alright Dan, he just needs time." Harry encouraged, pulling me closer to his body then walking us forward towards Danny on the sofa. "I know, I just want him to be okay, not so hard on himself. Its not his fault, its been over a year, there's no way he would be as good as normal straight off." Danny sniffed, pulling at his sleeves, scratching his arms. "yeah, but Tom has a concussion, he'll be easily upset, and have a hard time concentrating. It'll clear up soon, along with the headaches and nausea." Harry sat down, pulling me onto his lap, putting his hand on Dannys shoulder. "I hope so, I just need Tom to be okay, he's destroying himself with guilt. He's a beautiful boy, with so much talent, he just needs to know that." Danny whimpered, wiping at his eyes.
"I know Dan, we'll help him understand that, don't worry. It'll take time, and we might have to get him professional help, but we'll help him, alright?" Harry pulled Danny into both of our arms, squeezing him close for comfort. "he's such a beautiful disaster, I just want him to be beautiful." Danny grabbed hold of both of our shirts, nuzzling into our arms. "we'll make him beautiful, even more beautiful than he already is, promise."
213 Toms POV
I bit back tears and carried on playing, blasting our songs through my ipod into my ears, so I knew when I had to come in. I still didn't get it right, it all went so wrong, I still sang the wrong words, still came in at the wrong time, it was still a train wreck. How could I possibly go on stage in a weeks time when I was this awful? I couldn't, I would destroy this concert, it would be our worst concert ever, and it would be all my fault.
"just try a little harder, try your best to make it through the day, just tell yourself, I'll...be...okay." I trailed off into tears, unable to help it, I was useless. This whole thing was useless, I couldn't do this, there was no way I could do this, I was so stupid, I couldn't handle it. I wasn't going to be ready in a week, I would ruin this concert, ruin our whole careers, everyone was going to hate me. I needed more time, I needed a year or more to get this right, but I couldn't back out now, that really would let everyone down. Fletch was already so angry at me, he hated me so much right now, I couldn't go and make this any worse by backing out like a wimp. I dreaded to think how angry he was going to be by the end of the concert though, he was going to want to kill me, for being so bad and useless, he probably would kill me actually. I hoped it would be slow and painful as punishment, dying wouldn't be enough, slow and painful might have been.
I forced myself from thinking and carried on playing, trying to at least get the chords right, I was wasting time crying and feeling sorry for myself. I had 7 days to get this right, which meant 168 hours, if I practised for most of them, maybe I could have gotten something right. With that thinking, I absorbed myself in playing, not realising how much time had passed in this little cupboard I was hiding in.
"Tommy, honey, we're going home now, its 9 in the evening. Are you coming with us?" Danny broke me from playing by shaking my shoulder. I gave a little scream and leapt feet, I hadn't even noticed someone moving in here. "n-no, I'm staying. I need to practise." I shook my head and forced my pounding heart to slow down. "baby, you have to come home with us now, its home time. You can't stay here all night. We're coming back tomorrow to practise." Danny was using that tone that put my teeth on edge, the one that implied I was a baby, who had to be told what to do because I was stupid. He was even calling me baby, rubbing it in that I was weak and pathetic. "but I wanna stay." I argued, I needed to stay and get this right, I needed somewhere where people wouldn't hear me, at home, I would be heard. "I know you do, but you can't. You've got to come home, you're not allowed to stay, no matter how keen you are on getting this right." Danny sighed, taking my guitar off me and leading me forcefully to the car. I got in reluctantly, carrying on practising by playing the chords guitar-less. I was doing the motions, just without the guitar, I think I got them right, at least I hoped I did.
"Tom stop staring into space and get out of the car!" Fletch made me jump suddenly, I realised I had been daydreaming and we were home. "oh, I, er, sorry." I hurried out, wincing as my leg flared up in pain at the jostling. Walking on it had been agony, but I had just needed to get out of that studio, walking had been the best option at the time, I didn't regret it. "whatever, good practise boys, you three sounded pretty good, Tom, please try to get this right. We need this gig, and you're not helping by running away every time something goes wrong." Fletch glared, getting back in the car again and driving off.
"b*stard...d*ckhead...w*nker." I heard Danny, Harry and Dougie say in turn, glaring right back at the disappearing car. "don't listen to him Tom, he's being mean just for the sake of it." Harry wound his arms around me and Dougie, squeezing us both. "yeah, I know." I lied, knowing that it was true. I was attracting more attention to myself like the drama queen I was because I was going wrong, just to gain sympathy. I didn't even realise I was doing it, at the time I just thought doing whatever it was, was a good idea at the time. "well, I say we head back to ours and have a few relaxing drinks while taking the p*ss out of Fletch to cheer ourselves up, whose in?" Dougie suggested, getting agreements from the other two. "gunna come with us Tommy?" Danny asked, slipping his arm around my middle too. "no, I'm going to practise some more then go to bed, Danny, don't come round tonight, I want to be on my own." I shook my head and hopped on my crutches into my house, thanking god Carrie was also staying at her boyfriends tonight, so I could be on my own to practise and let out this feeling of worthlessness.