It's a slightly arduous process to keep a train of thought when the person across from you is in dire turmoil. Right now, Ukitake was in turmoil. He couldn't seem to make a decision between Anime-kisses and Alchemistofpeace. Thus far, Anime-kisses had made a heartfelt yet very threatening speech regarding a fight to the death, as had the second and more vicious bidder, who was still willing to bear her teeth in spite of the fact she'd formerly been in the hospital for a week. It seemed, no matter the condition or health status of the auction-goer, they wouldn't hesitate to mangle, murder, or commite total genocide. It was this very nature that had some people in the audience fearing for their lives.

He could say, for his part, however, that things were looking up.

UlquiorravsIchigo13: "Ulquiorra, I'll give you a purpose and spot as MY Primera Espada. I'm not a fangirl because, well, I'm a boy and you don't deserve all the stuff you put up with, like, Yammy, Grimmy, 'n Aizen. I gotta dark 'n dreary cave inside the moon's shadow. I also have a variety of colored energy lances. That's all I got." (walks to shadow in corner)

"Pass," Ulquiorra said blandly, exhaling. His ebony black nails minutely straightened out the folds in his uniform at his waist line. He serenely closed his eyes, showing the accented liner that so complemented his pallor. His lips pressed into a thin line from the surrounding rambunctious noises the crowd was emitting.

Mangareader125: "To Ulquiorra, I'm sorry! I'll offer up a lifetime supply of mascara and an umbrella that completely blocks out the light for you. I'll even give you the freedom to come and go as you please. All I ask is that you don't try to kill me if you get irritated."

"For one, I do not have Heliophobia. I wouldn't have any use for such an object as an umbrella. Furthermore, I do not wear mascara."

Kevvy chastised him somewhere nearby for being so rude. "My apologies go out to everybody for Ulquiorra being such a killjoy," she said.

"Can I choose someone now...so I may leave?" Ulquiorra inquired.

"Um...okay. But the rest of the bids-"

"I have chosen BloodRedDeathGod to be my...possessor." The former Espeda's voice dipped as he said the final word. He stood up and patted his clothes lightly before heading backstage.

I stare after Ulquiorra and swivel around to face the crowd. "Next chappy, Rukia is going on bid!"

MisplacedSanity: "If Rukia goes up on the block, I'mma bid a BIG ASS Chappy plushy the size of Texas and then some. The bid starts there. And will rise if necessary. To an entire army of the bunny. Whaddaya say to that, Rukes?"

Rukia squeals from somewhere in the throng.

To be continued...

CONGRATS TO BLOODREDDEATHGOD! YOU'VE WON ULQUIORRA!

Next chapter, Rukia is on bid! For everyone who is reading this, bid, bid, bid. Misplacedsanity, you are, so far, at the top of the list for Rukes. As for everyone else who bidded in advanced for her, I haven't forgotten you. That means you, Skywalker T-65. Just keep the offers coming and we'll see who wins.

Anime-kisses and Alchemistofpeace, I have just one thing to say: IT'S TOO HARD! I love you two and so does Ukitake! Your offers really got to me, and, as much as I'd like this chappy to be the one you get him, I just can't do it without being conflicted about the outcome. It's too close to call. So there's only one thing to do...(dadadaDUM)...You'll just have to beg/grovel/etc. *sobs* I'm sorry, guys! If this is what it's come down to, then I feel ashamed as an author. I did everything I could think of, and then some.

It's not as easy as it looks to host an auction cuz you got so much debating to do. I've narrowed it down to you two. What I reccomend now is that you review one final time and by next chapter I'll have the results, I PROMISE. Or I'll just throw myself into The Pit of Eternal Fire for letting you guys down.

Okay. Now I know this boldened addition to the story is getting a bit stretched, but I want you all to direct your attention to the below.

Important Author's Note: To my dear readers, as of late, I was sent a review that, erm, seemed somewhat derogatory in manner. It offended me greatly, and due to its anonimity, I had it removed. However, I would like to say for such a case as this, that I do not appreciate foul language, especially when it is directed at me.

I totally understand that if, for instance, you don't get your character or something doesn't appeal to you, than naturally you're going to be pissed off. I apologize for that in the most heartfelt way possible. In here, I believe, bid or no bid, you're all winners. I try to treat all of you who put something up for offer as fairly as possible. However, if you're going to have a tantrum, I don't want you to pour it out into a review and dump it on me. There are plenty Bleach characters to go around, and I've only just begun. I've also pointed out that you can bid on more than one character. So if you don't succeed the first time, than by all means, try again. I won't mind. Anime-kisses lost Ichigo and she's handling it pretty well, as is everybody else. We all suffer losses. Just try not to take it so hard.

Ukitake smiles longingly as everybody disperses from around the stage and waves. "Bye, everybody."