xxPUDDxx - ah i understand that, i've got 5 a level exams coming up soon as well that i'm procrasting revising for! and thank you, i'm sorry its a bit repetitive at this moment, but i promise in a few adds his behaviour is going to change a bit! and thats awesome, do you think you'll start writing yourself? this comm is in serious need of new writers! :D

214 Dannys POV

That night, I sat in bed and worried. Tom seemed worse than ever, and it didn't seem he would be getting better any time soon. He was slowly tearing himself apart with guilt and the feeling that he wasn't good enough to do anything, when really, Tom was so talented, so special, there wasn't a thing he had done wrong in weeks. I couldn't believe how little Tom thought of his musical talent, he had always thought he wasn't as good as everyone said he was, but he had never been this bad before. I just wanted to bundle him up and hold him until he realised he was beautiful and talented, it killed me to think I couldn't, it would make Tom worse, so I couldn't hold him anymore.

All I ever wanted was to stop Tom being so downhearted about his appearance, so he had confidence and could actually smile for once. I missed his smile, and his laugh, and his jokes, and everything that made Tom, Tom. I felt useless because I couldn't help him right now, and Tom wouldn't let me help him either, I just wanted to help him, make him happy and normal again. But it seemed impossible, Tom would most probably need professional help, and I would have already sent him somewhere that could help him, but I was scared of what they would say about him. Would they class him as crazy? Or would they say he was so ill he wouldn't be allowed back out again? Or would they see my arms too and keep me in some sort of therapy too? I didn't want any therapy either, I was fine, I was working through my problems by myself, I didn't need any help.

I was up all night worrying, I just wanted to stop worrying, I would only ever manage that when Tom was laying next to me, sleeping, or talking with me with a smile on his face. It destroyed my heart to see Tom look so sad constantly, think so little of himself, knowing he didn't care about his life. I knew he still didn't care about whether or not he lived or died, and at the moment, it scared me so much with his current state, I just hoped that he wouldn't try and kill himself tonight, and that Carrie would keep a close eye on him.

In the end, I was so in need of rest I ended up taking a sleeping pill, just so I could relax and sleep for a few hours to calm myself down. It was a nice sleep for a few hours, all the way round to 10am, when there was loud knocking on the door. "huh, what?" I groaned, sitting up in bed as the door opened and Harry ran in. "dude do you ever answer your door?" he shouted, looking pale and panicked. "er, sorry I just woke up. I had a sleeping pill, I couldn't sleep last night." I explained, crawling out of bed and squinting at the sunlight. "oh, right, well none of us have really slept I don't think. Even wearing Toms tshirt, your bracelet and having my arms around him, Dougie couldn't sleep for hours. He dropped off around 2am, and got barely any sleep then, was tossing and turning all night." Harry sighed, sitting next to me. "where is Dougie anyway?" I asked, rubbing my eyes to get rid of sleep. "he's in the car, with Tom. We woke him up first then I came over here, Dougs making sure Fletch doesn't give Tom a hard time." Harry explained, sighing loudly. "alright. So, where was Tom when you woke him up? I'm guessing not in bed." I got up and started getting ready, used to having conversations with my band mates no matter what state of undress I was in. "no, he was sleeping in his music room, the guitar still in his arms. Toms really trying with this one isn't he?" Harry made me nod. "yeah just a little too hard." I agreed, knowing Tom would overwork himself on this, I just hoped he wouldn't crash and burn because of it.

215 Dougies POV

It was so awkward to be sitting in the minivan, Fletch was glaring out of the window, Tommy was tapping the wheel trying to ignore the tension and Tom was sitting next to me, staring out of the window, air guitaring along to whatever was playing on his iPod. Knowing him at the moment, it was probably one of our songs so he could get some practise in. Tom was literally obsessed with playing at the moment, I could see how bruised his fingers were getting already, he wouldn't have anything but bone left at this rate. No-one in the car was talking, the silence was suffocating, I almost could feel my lungs closing off at the tension in the car.

"hiya, I'm back with Bolton." Thankfully, Harry climbed into the car, gently kissing my cheek and getting in the front. Me and Tom had already holed ourselves up right at the back of the car, as far away from Fletch as possible. "hey, sorry, I overslept!" Danny smiled tiredly and got in too, ruffling Toms hair as he got in. Tom whimpered. "alright, hurry up and get in, we need to get going." Fletchs voice wasn't half the growl it was when he talked to Tom, he obviously really, really hated Tom for some reason. Surely just running away would make him so hateful towards Tom? Surely he couldn't be that bitter about it!

The car drove off and I thought of all the reasons why Fletch could possibly hate Tom, the only one I could think of was running away, but I had never thought that Fletch would be so annoyed by something like that, didn't he know that Tom hadn't really meant it because he was ill at the time...and still was now? I wished he would lighten up a little, so he could stop killing Toms already fragile mind, the press was capable of doing that all by themselves.

Today went just as well as yesterday, we managed to play through the whole set list 3 times, sounding near enough like normal. There was a few mistakes, but on the whole, we managed pretty well. None of the mistake were made by Tom either, he was chord and note perfect, he came in at the right time, sang all the right words, hit every note he needed to, just like he had yesterday. I didn't see how he could think he wasn't that good, that he was failing on this, he was doing perfectly well right now. At this rate, he would play an amazing show, without a thing going wrong at all, I couldn't see how he didn't see that.

"great run through guys, I'm taking a break, anyone coming with?" Harry asked, jumping up and wrapping me into his arms, sensing how worried I was for Tom, he looked like he wanted to cry. I think he thought he was going wrong still, when really he was playing perfectly, he could have probably taken the week off and still sound even better than the three of us did. "yeah, I'll come with, Dan, you joining us?" I wriggled closer to Harry, so close I could almost feel his abs against my skinny frame. "yeah, I'll come with you, Tom, are you coming with us too?" Danny nodded, holding out his hand for Tom to take. "no, I'm staying here, practising some more." Tom shook his head, pulling his beanie further down his head, hiding almost all of his hair. "you deserve a break Tom, you've been working your arse off for the past 5 hours, you need to have a rest." Danny sighed, bending to Toms level to brush the hair from his eyes and hold his hand, a sign that he was there, and would be there forever if thats what Tom needed.