xxPUDDxx - you totally should! its great fun! :D
LeilaTheGalaxyDefender - thank you so much! i'm really glad you're enjoying it! :D
216 Harrys POV
"I don't need a rest right now, I'm fine." Tom shook his head again, looking away from Danny, towards the corner of the room again. I guessed he wished he was there instead of here, in all of our views, the centre of attention. "you need to rest baby, you'll give yourself a bad headache again, or you'll feel sick. Just come with us, its only a 20 minute break, thats all, that won't hurt one bit after almost 36 hours of practise you've already done." Danny pulled Toms face back to his own, using the soft and encouraging tone that whispered safety and protection. "you'll still sound brilliant after, just come with us, please." Dougie pleaded, squeezing my arms around him tight for comfort.
"fine, 20 minutes, thats it." Tom thankfully gave in, carefully standing up and pulling his beanie even further down his head. "yeah 20 minutes, thats all we're asking." Danny grinned, handing the blonde his crutches with a kiss to his cheek. We all shuffled out to the canteen area, buying some snacks to eat while we were relaxing. Well, trying to relax anyway, it was still tense in here, trying to find something to talk about that wouldn't make an already nervous and jumpy Tom worse. He did look awful though, pasty white, shaky, hunched over his own knees, eyes fixed to the table, where only a bottle of water sat in front of him. No food, just a bottle of a water, that was completely untouched.
"Tom, relax a little, please. Have a drink, you'll feel better." Danny sighed, running his fingers over the back of Toms head, playing with the hair that was visible from the beanie. "not thirsty." Tom whispered, shaking his head clear of Dannys hand. "still, have a drink, you've been singing for hours, you'll go croaky." Danny insisted, opening the bottle and handing it to Tom, who thankfully took a sip. Toms hands were shaking so much I was worried he would drop the bottle, luckily he put it down, then continued to look at his feet, fiddling with his fringe until it was covering his face as much as possible.
"hey boys, everything going well in the studio?" Darren came up and sat down next to me and Dougie (he had climbed onto my lap for a cuddle, he looked so worried for Tom) "yeah, sounding good. We'll be ready by concert day." Danny smiled, putting his hand back onto Toms shoulder, steadying his shaking a little. "well thats good, I'll be going to the gig, with Fletch, Tommy and Richard. I think as well we have a few of your family turning up too, though I'm not sure on that one." Darren explained, nicking a crisp out of the packet me and Dougie were sharing.
"George, my aunt and uncle are going!" Dougie piped up, he always did when mentioning his favourite cousin, who came to at least 1 concert every tour. "yep, and Carrie and Vicky are coming too." Danny joined in, perking up a little more too. He had told me he had missed Vicky a lot, and he was looking forward to seeing her at this concert. I could only hope that we would make it to the concert now, seeing how badly Tom was shaking right now, and we were nowhere near a huge crowd.
217 Toms POV
The next week went by in a flash, because I spent so much time playing I lost track of what day it was. So before I knew it, it was Saturday, concert day. Oh sh*t. I was dreading this, my head pounded and made me feel dizzy just hearing Harry drumming, what would hearing 8000 people screaming do? I needed to get through this concert, I had to, I couldn't let people down, I had to get through this gig.
I made it through sound check, barely, the lights stung my eyes and the noise was incredible already! What was I going to do now? "Tom, you feeling alright?" Danny suddenly appeared at my side, resting his hand on my shoulder. "y-yeah, fine. Just a little dizzy is all." I half lied, shrugging out of his hold, focusing on walking in a straight line back to my dressing room. I had been given my own again, so I could have a 'relaxing place' to myself, basically that was a nice way to say I wasn't wanted in everyone elses dressing room. Why would they want to see my disgusting face when they could be on their own...having their three way relationship without worrying about me seeing it. I knew it still went on behind my back, and I tried to make it seem like I didn't care and didn't know, but it still stung to know that it still was happening behind my back. "you sure? You look ill." Danny followed me into my room, standing in the doorway. "I'm alright, stop worrying okay?" I insisted, I really was okay, I didn't need any help, at all, I was fine. "alright, but, you can talk to me if you need to, and have a break during the gig. I'm sure the crowd won't mind, and we won't either." Danny lied, the crowd would actually hate me if I took a break, mid gig. Let alone our management, they would probably want to kill me. Then the press would rip me to shreds again and I couldn't take yet another shredding from them. "I'll be fine Danny, now leave me alone." I growled, sometimes having him as a boyfriend was incredible, but his caring side was just too far, I did not need Danny constantly fluttering around me, making sure I was alright constantly.
"alright, I'll call you when dinners ready then...you can come into our dressing room too you know. Carrie, Vicky, George and the others are turning up in a minute, its gunna be like a party, its for you too so you can join us." Danny sighed, just as there were squeals from two high pitched voices of 'DOUGIE' and 'GEORGE' so obviously George had arrived and seen his cousin. "yeah, I know. I'm having a lay down right now, I might join you later." I lied, I wasn't ever joining them. I would spoil the whole thing for them, so I wasn't even going to try going in. "alright, please do, it won't be a party without you. Now I better go to see Vicky and everyone, please come in later, Vicky has missed you too. And so has everyone else." Danny gently kissed my forehead and went off again, leaving me on my own in my dressing room, in silence.
I hung around for a while, playing the acoustic guitar in the room, practising some more, trying to be quiet as to not to disturb everyone in the room opposite. I could them laughing and talking, there was music playing too, it sounded like a real party, just like it used to before shows. It was always a party before a show, so we all got in the mood for go out for a good show. To me, it was strange to be in here, all by myself, no music, no-one to talk to, nothing. "Go in, it'll be fun." A voice said inside my head, I was tempted to listen to it. "don't go in, you'll ruin it for everyone, they're having fun, you ruin everything. Stay and practise, let them have fun and be that threesome they are, because they hate you." Another warned, I listened to that one, that one made more sense. This was the big come back show, and if I went into that party, I would ruin the atmosphere, messing up that now would mess everyone up at the show and it would all go wrong from there. I had to stay right here, in my own little room, out of everyones way, so they had a good show. Maybe their playing would cover up how bad I was, I hoped it would.
"Tom, are you joining us anytime soon?" Carries head came through the door, looking hopeful. "no, I'm staying here. Gotta practise some more." I shook my head, indicating the guitar. "you've practised your arse off all week, you deserve a break that isn't sleeping. Come on, Dannys missing you, in fact everyone is." Carrie held out her hand, why was she trying to ruin the show?! "I don't feel like partying." I whispered, hearing more voices hissing at me to "stay right there, don't you ever dare try and ruin it for everyone."
"I don't care, get in here, have some fun. Its the big concert day! Its a good day, and you deserve to be happy too! You can't spend the next 3 hours in here, come with me and join in." Carrie came in and literally dragged me into the other room, where everyone cheered. "at last! He's arrived!" Vicky joked, though I swear she was hiding her disgust through her jokes. "Tom! Yay the captains here!" George ran over and hugged my legs, so childlike and innocent. "I'm not the captain, Dougie is." I bent to his level, feeling everyones eyes on me, warning me against horrifying the child with just being me. "but you're older, and Harry said you're the captain of the ship! So you have to be the captain!" George looked confused. "well, I'm giving up being the captain, you can be the captain instead. You'll take good care of the ship, won't you?" I played along a little, not wanting to upset him either, I just couldn't bring myself to play the pirate games like usual. And I wasn't really the captain of the 'ship' either, if I ever was, Fletch was the captain, I just followed orders and used to think I was in charge. "yay! I'll take good care of the ship don't worry! Dougie, Tom made me captain of the ship!" George jumped a foot in the air and ran to Dougie, getting caught up in the bassists tattooed arms, laughing. I just wished I could be like that, but I couldn't, I wasn't capable of being happy, or carefree or anything. I was about to ruin a show intentionally and no-one was stopping me, the guilt was already there before we even got on stage, all I could do was try and hide in the background and hope to god the guys would ignore me.