Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! A special shout out to our winner of the song choice! IlovecoryMonteith! I used her pick Battlefield! So i dont own Battlefield the amazing Lea Michele owns it and the second song is called Wait for you and its by Artist vs Poet! I DONT OWN THE CHARACTORS BUT I DO OWN THE STORYLINE ITS TOTAL AU! ENJOY!
Third person POV
At the sound of a voice in the room Rachel began to stir. "Kurt, please leave me alone. I'm not ready yet.." Rachel rolled over facing the other side of the bed. Opening her eyes she was faced with a picture of herself and her friends, it was at Carol and Burt's wedding. "You know in that moment, I felt so happy. Standing there next to him, hoping that one day we'd get that." She reached out for the picture, her fingers grace the picture softly, the memory flowing into her mind. "Are we still not talking?" As Finn let out a sigh Rachel realize exactly who was there and she wasn't happy.
"Rachel…" She fought the tears hearing the sound of his voice call my name broke my heart. Rachel kept herself facing the picture. She'd rather be faced with the pain of seeing the picture and remember the memories instead of facing the guy she had been trying so hard to avoid."Rachel please listen…My mom locked us in here. Hopefully not on purpose, but we're stuck in here so we might as well talk Rach."
"Why did you have to come here? Don't you have a room?"
"It's not my fault, my mom said Kurt and Blaine were using our room," Finn wanted so bad to hold her, but before he could she got up and moved across the room. Her eyes had deep anger in them, something that Finn hadn't seen in awhile.
Rachel glared at him, those words piercing her heart. "You always have a choice Finn; you always just seem to make the stupid ones." Rachel didn't mean to say it but it was bound to come out some time in a conversation with Finn.
"You know what Rachel I made a mistake I let you get on that train. Yes, it was a bad choice but I made it and you can keep getting mad at me or you can grow up, and get passed it." Finn threw his phone across the bed. "I'm tired of this shit Rachel; I'm tired of feeling like I'm going to be constantly reminded of the same things over and over. Like I said that day, you needed to go, maybe instead of thinking of yourself you may want to think of what harm it did to me."
Rachel's eyes grew wide with anger "You don't get it, you don't get to play the victim Finn, you threw away the one dream I had…A dream bigger than New York, bigger than Broadway, it was marrying you and having a family with the one person I love more than any of that, you threw away us!"
"You could've gotten off the dam train Rachel, but you knew just like the rest of us that you needed to go." He stepped closer to her; she stood there frozen in her place... "Admit it Rachel, admit that you may be pissed the way I did it but you're happy I did it! You're happy we didn't get married, I saved you from making the wrong decision."
"You have no fucking clue what you're talking about." She turned away and tried to get the door open."Why won't the door open!"
"Every chance you get Rachel, you always want to run when things start getting hard."Finn knew everyone could hear the two of them, but honestly he didn't care. "There you go giving up on something that could've worked if you'd let you dam ego go Rachel Berry."
"I HATE YOU FINN HUDSON, YOU TOOK AWAY MY DAM CHOICE!" she yelled getting closer to him anger filling her body "YOU TOOK AWAY ANYTHING WE COULD'VE HAD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT RAN AWAY FINN! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT—"She paused looking away and then down. "I'm over us, I'm over this, I've finally moved on from our past, and I can't go back again Finn. I won't let you break my heart again. This is one battle I'm done fighting."
(Rachel starts to sing Lea Michele's Battlefield)
It's easy to fall in love
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath
Forgotten who we first met
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie
Rachel watched as Finn sat there hurt by the lyrics, but honestly she didn't care. All she felt was anger and sadness and there was no way she'd let him go without feeling some kind of the pain she felt in this moment.
Finn stared out and watched as he began to sing His eyes locked with hers. Why couldn't she see that she held the key to something that no one ever could. Finn would do anything to make things right but Rachel was stubborn as hell and wouldn't let him again.
(Finn starts in with a slow version of Artist vs Poet's Waitin for you)
So you can find me locked up tight in my room tonight
I'm reading warning signs, rewriting all my lines
I won't be giving up, 'till you're giving in girl
But you won't take my hand...
So I'll be asking you,
How high when you tell me to jump
And I'll say how fast when you tell me to run
And I'll say how long when you tell me to wait for you
And that's what I'm gonna do.
Everyone could hear the former lovers singing. They knew the pain behind both of their words. But everyone knew it was for the best. They knew this was the best way to get the two of them to even stand to be in the room together.
You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
Finn couldn't understand how Rachel could sit there and try to tell them that they weren't suppose to be together. How could they not be? Yes he was pissed that she kept throwing shit in his face, but his mom did tell him to let her express anyway she could.
And as the room is flooded in bare moonlight
We're dreaming all the time, when I can call you mine
I won't be giving up, 'till you're giving in
No blood will spill if we both get out now
Still it's hard to put the fire out
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Feelings are shifting like the tide
And I think too much about the future
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
But you won't take my hand...
So I'll be asking you,
How high when you tell me to jump
And I'll say how fast when you tell me to run
And I'll say how long when you tell me to wait for you
And that's what I'm gonna do.
Rachel didn't understand how Finn couldn't just let go, why did he have to make this harder on both of them. Wasn't it his idea to just surrender and just let life take its course?
We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie
Don't say, say that you're still afraid
'Cause your lips give you away
And your body does the same
So I'll be asking you...
You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
How high when you tell me to jump
And I'll say how fast when you tell me to run
And I'll say how long when you tell me to wait for you
'Cause that's what I'll do...
Rachel was at one end of the bed, Finn was on the other side Belting out his song. It was like old times for the two of them. Pouring their love and power into a song, showing the other how much they mean. For the two of them, it was therapeutic, something no therapist could ever get out of them.
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield
How high when you tell me to jump
And I'll say how fast when you tell me to run
And I'll say how long when you tell me to wait for you
And that's what I'm gonna do.
We seemed like a good idea
Yeah oh oh oh
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
And that's what I'm gonna do.
Rachel stared deep into Finn's eyes, she knew what he was thinking, but it didn't matter. She couldn't do it anymore. She was to hurt and to tired of the constant reminder of the pain she felt so many years ago. "No yelling anymore…" Finn pleaded, He was tired of yelling and trying to get their point across. "We've been through all of this and more and you have no idea what I went through leaving you…I get it I screwed up letting you go, but are you going to continuously punish me Rachel."
"You're the one that gave up and left Finn, I'm done with the constant defense you put up. But like I said earlier, you put me on the train, you made the choice for me. Now I'm going to make the choice to stay way from you until I go back to New York, My new home." Rachel looked away from Finn and onto the bed. She just wanted to stop the conversation.
Finn looked deep into Rachel's eyes "Not that long ago I was your home, I was your person… I was everything to you. Are you that pissed that I'm no longer anything to you?" Finn knew his words pierced through her heart.
She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. "I'm over this conversation Finn Hudson, you keep missing the point." With that they stayed silent for a while.
Rachel's POV
I hated this, I hated being in the room with him. I was pissed our friends were doing this, how could they sit here and force us to face things we've wanted to bury for a long time. I wasn't ready for this for us to be near each other, I just…I just was tired. "I'm taking the bed…" I turned to see him nod and grab an extra blanket and pillow for the floor. Laying there I tried to sleep. I think it had to do with the fact he was laying there and I was up here. We were so close yet so far away.
After what seemed like forever, I sat up and looked ahead of myself. "Why?"A simple question that I've asked for years. "Why didn't you fight harder for us? Why did you let me go?" I didn't want to fight again, I just wanted an answer, I needed an answer.
Finn sat up and looked at me. I could tell he was upset, I knew my words hurt him, I would say I was sorry but it needed to be said. I needed to let him see he broke my heart. "Rachel, we've been through this, you needed to go…I couldn't hold you back anymore. I don't want to do this anymore, you said you were done and I don't know if I can handle going through the same lines again and again."
"So we leave it as it is I get it we talked, it was epic and then the sun keeps coming up and reality sets in. In the end that's us." I look away from him and the back down at my knees. "So in the end we surrendered and the pain wins?"
Finn looks up at me and I can see it in his eyes. The love that we shared so long ago, something that I never thought I could see in his eyes again let alone feel between us. "Look yes one day we talked and it was beyond epic, but in my eyes the sun came up and reality set it and my reality has always been you." Getting up Finn sat on the bed next to me and we both staid there in silence. "I don't care if you hate me Rachel, but I'll always love you…I made a huge mistake with you, I did and I've owned up for it, but I don't want to fight like this anymore. We make everyone uncomfortable, that's why we're in this mess. They want us to be okay Rach."
I look up and deep into his eyes. "We've never been just okay Finn, we'll probably never be just okay again. We fight, we get back together again and then we date everyone in glee club, its our lives and It just isn't working the way it use to when we were kids. " Finn nodded and went to get off the bed, but my hand stoped him. "I hate you for what you did to me, but I don't want to…Tonight can we just forget everything else, Just for one night?" His hand in mine was driving my mind into different places. I'm not saying I forgive him for everything, but I hate being alone, I just need him to hold me tonight. Prove me wrong, I need for once to proven wrong.
"Come here." Finn laid beside me and held me. I laid there in the arms of someone who I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. I loved him, or maybe I still love him. God why did our lives have to be so complicated.
Santana's Pov.
I was pissed to hear Finn was in New York…Not once but fucking twice. And Puck knew and didn't warn us. I was furious and I was half tempted to tell Rachel, he has no idea what the poor girl has been through.
Flashback.
I had decided to go visit Rachel on the set of Funny Girl the day before it was opening. It was intense everyone was running around, some were rude as hell, but I staid calm. "Yo Madison, have you seen Berry?"
Our blond cast mate shook her head. "I don't think so, but have you checked the upper stage, she's becoming very you know.."
Nodding I walked up stairs to see her leaning over the balcony. "So you're either hiding from the Carlisle Cullen look-alike or you're thinking about Frankenteen. " I knew Rachel better than anyone, well besides Kurt, but I did know her well enough to know the missing Finn face.
"I wish he was here, but he made his choice and walked right out of my life." She rolled her eyes looking down at the stage.
"I'm sure he'd be here if he could Rach, but you know he's in Iraq and cant be here…" Shrugging she leaned against one of the poles and looked at me. "Someday you two will finally be the happy couple you once were, I know it."
End Flashback
I hate Finn especially after finding out he was there. I know once Rachel found out she'd lose it. If she found out every bad thing would hit the fan, Especially after the tears she cried that night. "Sans?"
I turned to see my wife and best friends standing next to each other. "They're sleeping…" Nodding I looked up and out the window. "What are you thinking about?" Britney asked.
"What if we can't fix them? What's going to happen when she finds out about Finn being in New York and not seeing her, its not fair!" I look away, I felt so much anger coming through my body, but I had to control it. "I don't want to lose her and her happiness again. I do want them to be together, but I don't want her to get hurt again."
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