LeilaTheGalaxyDefender -hmm, we shall see xD
218 Dannys POV
Tom stayed sat on the floor even after George ran back to Dougie and Harry, he was practically sitting under the table, keeping his leg tucked under it awkwardly. He looked so pale and ill, and maybe even guilty, even a little bit scared. It worried me how his skin was almost see through, his clothes hanging off him, his shaking fingers fiddling constantly with his hair and touching his face, like he was checking that he was still all there. Carrie was sat with him, almost under the table too, gently talking to her brother like it would help calm him.
"he's really changed, hasn't he?" Vicky asked, noticing me constantly looking over at Tom, waiting and hoping for a smile, an indication that Tom actually wanted to be here, not crawl underground and never ever come back out again. "yeah, a lot. Still sounds amazing, but he's just so, well...like that." I sighed, wanting to just run over and bundle Tom into my arms, and never let him go ever again. I didn't want to do this concert either now, because of how scared I knew Tom was, he was so scared of failing, even though he sounded perfect. But Fletch would kill me if I said I didn't want to do it, and Tom would probably never forgive me either, he had put in so much work into this, he would never forgive me for cancelling.
"lets hope this concert makes him a little better then." Vicky sounded like she didn't even mean that, that she knew it wouldn't help. "yeah, lets hope so." I sighed again, tearing my eyes away to watch Harry and Dougie launch a tickle assault on little George, making the boy scream with delight, at least 3 people were happy in here.
Time past quickly then, and soon it was time to get ready, and send our families to their seats. George insisted on hugging all of us good luck before he went, giving Tom possibly the longest one, telling him to smile because he would always be a pirate captain. That actually almost broke my heart, because even a 5 year old could see that there was something wrong with Tom and wanted him to cheer up. "we'll cheer Tom up, don't worry Georgie. Now run along to your seat, the shows gunna start soon!" Dougie managed a laugh, tears welling up in his eyes too, hugging the little boy close before sending him off to his parents who were waiting by the door.
"I'm gunna go get ready." Tom then hurried off before I could say anything to him, seemingly not even caring about his leg at all. "come on guys, we've got to get ready now." Harry squeezed Dougie close, keeping the guy he called his little boy from crying. Dougie clung to Harry all the way to the wardrobe, gripping onto his shirt, the tears clearly being fought back, his breathing starting heave like it did just before he fainted. "shh Doug, shhh. Toms going to be okay, he'll be alright. He's nervous, like we all are. Shhh." Harry whispered gently, stroking the blondes hair, holding him so close he was almost a second skin. "Tom will be alright Doug, he always is, he'll be alright now, I know he will be." I joined in, lying a bit. I didn't know whether or not Tom would be alright, I was just hoping he would be, he probably wouldn't be, but all I could do was hope.
219 Toms POV
I tried to ignore the feeling of guilt and pure fear rising up inside me right now, but it wasn't working, I wanted to run away from here, far away. Or crawl in a hole underground and never come back out again. What if I messed up completely? What if I fainted, I hadn't eaten last night, or this morning, what if I fainted in the middle of the set? I would never claw back any respect or anything! It would be over, but I had to go, or I was going to let everyone down. And I had to do as George said, smile and be happy, but how did I smile again? It had been so long since I had last smiled I had completely forgotten how to do it! I tried practising in the mirror, but I looked like a freak show, my stupid dimple poked into my cheek, making me look ridiculous, I couldn't smile without looking like a freak, and not even make up could cover that one up!
But, I tried anyway, putting on make up to make myself look less deformed, just like Mellissa did for TV shows, then I made sure I covered my scars in make up too, and the bruises that could accidently be shown by a moving tshirt. I had already changed my into my show outfit, baggy light blue trousers, Vans, a long sleeve white tshirt and my black shirt. At least that didn't look too bad, not like I was trying to be 15 again, unlike my hair. I had straightened it and placed it so it covered a bit of my eyes, and a part of my face. Looking in the full length mirror I couldn't decide whether or not this was good enough, or if I could fry wearing it, or if I looked stupid. It covered my cast well enough, and you couldn't see my scars, or my bruises, so I guessed it was alright.
"Tom are you ready yet?" Fletch burst into the room, scaring me. "I, er, yeah. I'm ready." I nodded, looking away from him, my hair moved...d*mn, hadn't thought of that. "good, the others are too, get moving." Fletch grabbed my arm and pulled me out, seemingly not caring about my still cast covered leg. It was painful to walk on it still, but it wasn't too bad, it was like cutting, a pain that wasn't too bad, it was tolerable.
"ready?" Danny asked as I came up, looking beautiful. Danny had dressed in his black skinny jeans, a white tshirt and a black shirt too, covering his scars with a cloth bracelet and a few actual bracelets too. He looked beautiful, his outfit was like mine, but he pulled it off ten times better than I ever could. "yeah, as I'll ever be." I nodded dutifully, grabbing my red and white flying V guitar and putting it over my neck, reluctantly letting Neil fiddle with the strap and making sure it was all still in order. "good, well, break a leg, not literally though, already got that." Danny laughed a little, kissing my cheek gently. Thankfully he didn't mention the make up cause we all wore make up on stage anyway. "show time boys, good luck!" Tommy smiled, as the lights went down and the screaming started.
We walked out and the screaming got even louder, it was already hurting my ears, even without the music. But I ignored it, focusing on my guitar, and getting this right. There were 8000 people here, they wanted a good show, and they were going to get it. So, I played, the whole set list, all 15 songs in order, I played my guitar (badly), I sang (out of tune, and the wrong lyrics, not that anyone seemed to notice) from Party Girl, all the way to Shine A Light. And the crowd sang along too, screaming and jumping like any crowd would, like they were actually enjoying the show, not noticing how little I was moving and how badly I was playing.
We even managed a bit of on stage banter, and a bit of playing about. During Room On The Third Floor, Danny came over to me to share my microphone, grinning at me. It was the biggest smile I had seen on him in a while, it made me want to smile too, and before I realised it, I was smiling, looking right into Dannys eyes, for the first time in almost 2 years. I was actually looking into someones eyes, and who better to look at? Light blue pools of perfection, usually surrounded by thousands of freckles, but covered by make up today. I think I leant a little closer, but I couldn't tell because Danny then ran away, and didn't come back until the next solo. It saddened me but I ignored that too, we had gotten too close for proper concentration, nothing to worry about, we couldn't ruin a good show because of something like that, could we?
"Dougie, would you like to introduce the next song for us?" Danny grinned, thoroughly hyper. "alright, I will, but first can I get a hell yeah?" Dougie shouted, the crowd repeated, "can I get a halleluiah?" again, the crowd shouted back the repeat, "very good, you guys are good. But can you copy this one? TomisthesexistpersoneverandDannywantstomakelovetoh imrightnow!" Dougie shouted, and the crowd struggled, but repeated. "very good guys! I would have made you repeat until you got it right, but you managed it first time! First time a crowds ever done that!" Dougie laughed again, reminding me of a small boy again. He was so happy on stage, I knew this was the right idea, to go straight back to the band, just to see that happy smile on his face, and the smile Harry was giving him from his drum kit.
"suppose we better get on with this song then shouldn't we? This song was written by our very own Mr Thomas Fletcher all the way over there." Dougie pointed to me, the screaming went up a notch, "he started writing this about the band...but then thought it would be cooler to make it about himself and Dannys relationship. Cause you see, they love each other very much, more than you know." Dougie laughed, and again, the screaming went up even further, "so, could you give a round of applause to Mr Fletcher over there? For writing the best songs ever." Dougie got what he wanted, I blushed madly they're only clapping because Dougs told them to, they don't actually like you an unhelpful voice ruined it, I bit back the self conscious side of my brain, just to make it through the gig, only 2 more songs, I could make that. "and for being the best friend and band mate I could ever have. I love you Tom." Danny turned to me, making me blush even more. "I love you too Danny." I whispered, and I think the screams from the crowd actually went 1 step above deafening.
"can I get a kiss then?" Danny teased, okay, the screaming was now defiantly above deafening level. "I can't walk over." I looked at the cast poking out of my trousers, then saw Converse clad feet in front of me. "you didn't have to." Dannys hands fell on my arms, making me look up at him. "kiss him! Go on, we're all waiting!" Dougie encouraged, practically jumping up and down in boyish excitement, so I did, I kissed Danny on the cheek, remembering that we weren't supposed to be together. The public didn't know about us, so I couldn't out and out kiss him. "aw, well without further ado, this song is THE HEART NEVER LIES!"