WARNING!
The following contains scenes that are unfit for the eyes of those who do not know Kaien.
Ala Leo: Fairly warned be ye, fan people.
If you have no idea who Kaien is, you will soon. If you proceed, that is.
Anyway, feel free to play Memories In The Rain, Ichigo and Rukia's duet. I know I am.
To the Wind
Chapter 7
By AdventWing
There's some initial conflict, after she gets over the involuntary spread of warmth.
She should act offended.
She should scoff, turn around, and tell him that it was none of his business. She should grasp the feelings that threaten to overwhelm her, and hide them, force them down, keep them back.
Yet any hostile actions or words just didn't fit, right now.
I want him to know. She thinks, and her eyes widen at such mutinous thoughts.
A flash of lightning heralds thunder, but it is her thoughts that make her shiver. Ichigo hesitates, making an offer by moving closer, slowly, his arms slipping around her. Her heart speeds up; what are you doing? We can't do this; I can't do this…
But the rain tonight is heavy, and Ichigo's questioning has opened old wounds.
You want the security he can provide.
When he hesitates, she closes the distance.
She questions at the wisdom of her subconscious, but cuddles against him anyway. For once, she's going to do what feels right, and not worry about the consequences. Pulling the blanket over them, she's taken back because she's able to listen to his heartbeat.
It beats quickly, like hers.
Her reverie is interrupted; Ichigo buries his face in her hair.
Is he afraid? Relieved? …Content? No, moron, Rukia scoffs mentally. That's how YOU feel.
Then why is he doing this?
"I don't know where to start." She manages, her words wrenched with repressed pain. The wound is so old, but always manages to bleed anew. She can't stop what she knows will happen next. It builds up and washes over her, her shame and guilt that makes her feel repulsive inside.
Ichigo sees it, he feels it, and knows it well; it's a lot like his. "I won't judge you…you didn't judge me."
"What are we doing?" She asks, tensing, a last résistance. "What will it solve?"
Ichigo doesn't hesitate. "It'll solve nothing."
She felt him pull away, and she peeked reluctantly at his face.
"And if you really want to know, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
He traced a line from her cheek down, and when his hand reached her neck, he reached behind her to pull her close. "…I just know that I hate the rain…and so do you." This was the tough bit. "It hurts me," He murmurs reluctantly. "It hurts me because my mother died in the rain.
"If you think I shouldn't know, don't tell me, Rukia. But don't think you're alone…because I hate the rain too."
Her next words are soft, but coarse, more breathed out than said. "I trust you."
He buries his face in her hair; reason is lost. "Then tell me."
She starts at the beginning.
"…I wasn't always a Shinigami…I used to be a normal spirit. I began in one of the poorer sectors of the Soul Society." She remembers days spent fishing, exploring…stealing to survive.
She smiles sadly. "I wonder if you can imagine what it's like for a commoner like me to suddenly be adopted into a noble family."
"Probably was hell."
Rukia gauged his answer silently, wondering if he knew of prejudice, of backbiting, of being alone. It was really staring at her in the face. His hair. Tatsuki-san mentioned it had a sort of stigma attached to it…
She didn't see anything wrong with it, yet she could see what was wrong with her.
"I mean…it must have been hard for you." His face darkened as he remembered his own troubled years. "It's hard for anyone who stands out."
"…Was it hard for you?" She asked suddenly.
Ichigo hesitated before making a mumble of ascent. "Yeah." He shifted his weight slightly to draw her closer. "It was."
"I wasn't treated like family…I was more like a…" she swallowed, her throat choked with remembrance. "…Like a dog. Like a stray dog that they had decided to take in. Some may spare it glances of pity, but when it wanders in one day, dirty…I was a fool for thinking it would be better…"
"They graduated me immediately. I was a Shinigami…but even then, I tried my best to at least thank my step-bro—my step-family for taking me in." She didn't want him to know about Byakuya…considering how passionate he was about being the eldest; she was worried how he'd take his attitude towards her.
"But…I still received no recognition." She said bitterly. "Thinking about the other students who worked so hard to pass…maybe…I didn't deserve any."
Ichigo frowned; he disliked that kind of talk and was mildly surprised to find it coming from Rukia. Yet…
He knew it. He knew it better than anyone. The sense of worthlessness, of despair, like a hole in your chest… "And then?" He asked gently.
"And then…there was a person…in my new squad. He…and the others…they made me feel like I belonged. He was one of the only people I know who talked to me like Rukia, not like 'Kuchiki-san'…yet he treated me like I mattered to the team. He said…he said he'd stand by me, even if he'd die."
Her eyes began to mist, and she cursed herself angrily. "I…I admired him."
Ichigo held her tighter. "Kaien-san…am I right?" Jealousy was the last thing on his mind, faced with her weakness.
Rukia nodded, stiffly, against his chest. Gods, she asked as thunder boomed mercilessly. Why won't the rain stop?
"He was married. His wife was a beautiful person and I wanted to be like her…she was my idol."
"Then…"
"Then I killed him," she whispered, recalling the night before.
Ichigo's grip became stronger, and he whispered sharply. "That's not it."
Rukia swallowed a sob. Why do you make me do this, Ichigo? Just take my word for it…I killed him…
"I refuse to…believe that was it." Something clicked. "A Hollow."
Remembering the face of the Hollow that killed Kaien—Rukia shook her head, her face wretched. "His wife's entire unit had been annihilated. Gone. She was dead. He wanted revenge….
"He was strong, but the Hollow was stronger…our captain didn't let me help him." She fumbled for the words to her memory. "…Pride," she scoffed bitterly. "…It was a battle for pride, not life.
"He wanted revenge. He fought alone. He told me…and Taichou…not to interfere."
"Stay out of it, Rukia!" Ichigo said, his eyes wild with anger. " …This is my fight!" His eyes widened in comprehension. Then that time with Grand Fisher…
"Kaien was strong…and he would have won…but…he was possessed by the Hollow…I'll never forget the way that…thing…used Kaien…"
"We couldn't save him. Taichou told me to run…but…in the end…I killed him…"
Ichigo paused. "Then…you—"
"—I WASN'T BRAVE! She cried out suddenly. "When Taichou told me not to help, I was too scared to disobey! When Taichou told me to run, I was too afraid of what would happen if I did!" She choked on her words. Rising up to look at him, her eyes alight with pain. "And when I stabbed Kaien, it was because I was afraid of death! …Why did he thank me? The only one I saved was me, my disgusting self—" The spontaneity, it happened again, and he forced himself on her harshly this time, filled with the same ache that only she seemed to understand; she drank it, she needed it, and when they parted, it wasn't because they wanted to stop. Rukia placed a finger to his lips, as he bent down again hungrily, her tears forgotten and his amber eyes cloudy with emotion.
"That was my second kiss. Last night…you…"
Ichigo couldn't think straight; he tried, but failed to see why last night mattered. All he wanted…all he could think of…
"I can't believe I forgot…that was why…I knew you looked guilty…" She was too close, she was whispering to him, her forehead pressed against his.
The fact that her lips were less than an inch away from his didn't help his mental state. "I did feel that…at first. I kept telling myself you were drunk…"
"And then…?" She asked softly.
"And then I realised that your tears would be worse than your anger…"
Her voice was quiet, but heavy. "I'm not angry…" She closed her eyes as he leaned in again. Her hands buried themselves in his hair as he kissed her again. She broke away first this time, trying and failing to keep her head straight, and allowed it to rest on his shoulder. "I want to forget." She murmured, pleadingly. "Being here…it helps me…I can push it away…because I'm happy…" He responded to her words. "…But we have to…" STOP, she pleaded silently, even though she herself gently pressed her lips against his neck. Ichigo pulled her up, and kissed her again, and all she could think about was that she couldn't hear the rain past the roar in ears. She quickly stifled a moan; when he reached under the night-gown to graze her ribs with his fingertips— "Stop." She said, aloud this time. Something seemed to click, and Ichigo pulled away swiftly, breathing hard, and he turned away.
Rukia lay there, her gaze half-lidded. She realised that her heart was beating completely out of control, she truly felt it might burst, and her hand rose, unbidden, to rest on it, to slow it down. Great. She thought in wonder, and she meant it. What now?
"Ichigo…" She tried, and noticed that he was just about to get off the bed. In a split second, she made her decision. She didn't care that he probably felt angry at himself, frustrated with her, or confused, all she knew was that if he left, if he went downstairs, there'd be another wall, another barrier between them, and she didn't want that.
She didn't want to be alone.
"Stop." She managed to say that word again, wrapping her arms around his waist, her grip firm, unyielding. "Please." She added as an afterthought.
"…What the hell am I doing…?" He muttered. This is wrong. This is all wrong. I forced her. I… "What the hell…"
Rukia leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "There's nothing…to apologise for…"
Ichigo begged to differ. There was plenty to apologise for. Yet the feel of her embrace took it all away…
What does it mean? He asked idly. What are we now? What are we doing? All thought was out; he was reacting completely on feelings from the moment he kissed her…it was too confusing…what he really needed was to get away from—
"Don't move." Rukia bit her lip to soften her words. "Don't leave me…" He relaxed at her plea, his head cooler. "…It's still raining…" Rukia turned to the window, to find the rain still beating on it, the wind fuelling its rage. "It's a real storm…"
"…I won't be able to sleep unless I ask this…" He began tentatively. He gestured to the door. "Do you want me to—"
"No." she said shortly. "I don't." With that she pulled him with her into the bed, and under the covers, resting her head near his shoulder. "It's late, and I'm tired…"
Damnit! Didn't she feel a little less trustful now? Now that he had— "Oi." He began roughly. "I really think that—ow…OW!"
"When I say, sleep, we sleep." She said, attempting to be playful, grabbing him by his nose and pulling down.
"Bwitch" He mumbled nasally.
Rukia smiled, released him, and lay against him once more. Gods what a long day…the party last night, the argument, and the pool, cooking, and the movie… "Blast this gigai. It's completely useless. What Urahara needs to create is some kind of mod-body…like Kon…except for Shinigami…"
"Whatever," he muttered, his thoughts dark.
Somewhere between consciousnesses, Rukia noted his tone, and remembered their actions with a drowsy smile. "…We think too much," she began.
What the hell does that mean? He asked himself roughly. "You do know who you're in bed wi—who you're talking to, right?"
"Even you," she continued, "Think too much." She was slipping, but she needed to get this out. "Maybe we should quit that for a while…" She finished to an attentive and confused Ichigo, as she crossed the threshold into sleep…
This is…probably my only good memory of rain, she thought happily.
She hoped Ichigo felt the same…and wondered what she would do if he did…?
-----
Katobeto grinned.
In case you're wondering, he was not allowed to eavesdrop on their conversations, no. Sure, he's tried. But the apparent rule (And there were rules, curse them) was that the privacy of the two subjects was NOT to be compromised.
…And by the way, that meddling AI EX was one heck of an enforcer.
Still, he could not believe his luck. Here we have two, deeply angst-ridden subjects, residing in a scenario that he himself set! Now…if he could tweak things a little…he could turn this into more than just a simple experiment! He could argue the psychological side of it too! Home Economics would be secure in its place as a core subject! Today psychology, tomorrow, the Core Sciences!
Soothing his whisker-like moustache, he let out a chuckle, a strange chuckle, and one that sounded more like a purr…
"I think our subjects need to get out of the house…" He said, eyeing the list of names and phone numbers on his right…
-----
Ichigo groaned, his eyes opening slightly. No, this weight next to me is not Rukia. The steady breathing I hear is not Rukia. The soft breath of air against my skin is NOT…Rukia….
"Ichigo…" She murmured wanly.
Ichigo fought off his blush. First she's bossing him around, then she's dreaming about him…how can one person be such a mass of contradictions…? He resisting the urge to move aside a stray hair, and failing. His hand lingered on her cheek, why was it so soft? — Before he scratched his head, finally deciding that this girl was doing very bad things to him. If things had gotten out of hand last night…
Last night…she hurt just as much as he did…and that's why it mattered so much to him that…
She mumbled something, and moved closer, the temptation growing…
His heart sped up. Well, if she let him last night then…maybe…
Excuse me Sir.
Ichigo jumped away, his eyes the size of saucers. "Wha—! What the hell? Alex?" Rukia awoke with a start, and dived under the covers, clutching Ichigo's waist, letting out a very strangled meep.
It's nearly noon, sir. The curtains are drawn.
"What the hell are you doing Alex?" He said through clenched teeth.
May I come in?
Ichigo and Rukia blinked in unison. "How?"
What I mean to say is, may I turn on my sensors? I am blind to anything happening in the Master Bedroom.
Rukia tilted her head. "Why? After all, what if something were to—" She caught Ichigo's venom-laced glare and paused, and then she flushed bright, bright red. "Ah…"
Never mind. I have arrived here to warn you. Katobeto-sensei has just rung our doorbell.
A heartbeat later, and Ichigo laughed without amusement, and cracked his knuckles ominously. "Not funny Alex."
With a number of your previous guests in tow.
Ichigo's jaw dropped, his mind blown away.
Rukia put his thoughts into words. "No fucking way…"
Ichigo glanced at Rukia. "Change, I'll kick the guy out."
Rukia swung out of bed, and ran to the bathroom. "First off, we can't do that." She tossed him bathrobe and donned one herself. She frowned. It was kinda big, but it would do.
"Okay, let's go."
-----
"What the fu—oomph!"
Rukia retracted her elbow with a smile and quickly greeted him like an uncle. "How are you Katobeto-sensei?"
Katobeto smiled. "I'm fine." He eyed their identical robes with interest. "You do realise that there must be no se—"
"YES!" Ichigo interrupted loudly. "Now what the hell do you want?"
"Well, I've decided that you two shouldn't stay cooped up in the house. You may be newly-weds but that doesn't mean you can't go out with your friends once in a while." He gestured to a very full looking SUV. "I think that it would be a good day to test out a few theories of mine…you're still being assessed, of course."
Mizuiro was talking excitedly and pointing at them, while Keigo seemed to be nodding at his words and crying. Chad had a whole seat to himself, and he was looking a little bewildered. Tatsuki, on the other hand was waving a fist and Ichigo didn't need to be a professor in language to translate her actions into 'KILL HIM!'
Orihime and Ishida both seemed a little dazed and Ishida seemed to like to interject with a comment here and there. Orihime simply nods her head at whatever the hell he's saying, while holding Tatsuki in her seat.
"Dress lightly," Katobeto said, bringing their shocked faces back to him. "It'll be a hot day."
They gaped as one at his grin. "Well? What are you two doing?" His voice was light but his eyes held a glint. "I said you're being assessed."
Ichigo was still stuck in fourth gear, but Rukia managed to close her mouth, and then open it. No sound came out, so she closed it again.
He made a shooing gesture. "You have ten minutes."
Tsuzuku
XD
Guess where we're going? It's not hard! It's been done before…but probably not the way I have it planned.
Okay. No more for now, I'm tired. Tomorrow night I guess. Piece by piece, TtW is coming back. The best part is I can revise it further. A blessing in disguise. Now, a few responses…or not. After all that's what got me banned. I think. I hope. If it's something else, I'm going to die.
Much more pain for our favourite duo next chapter