xxPUDDxx - hmm, maybe some Flones fluff is on the way :P
227 Toms POV
I knew exactly what Danny was doing, and it killed me to know I couldn't stop him. I was trapped on this bed, incapable of moving, just about able to speak. "Danny...stop...please!" I said as loudly as I could, trying not to cry at the fact that because of me, there was at least another line on Dannys arm. The feeling of knowing that it was my fault, completely my fault, crushed me. Just because some doctor thought I looked underweight, so he wanted to look at the whole of me, I had panicked, I just didn't want him to see me, I didn't want anyone to be repulsed by what they saw. I was just trying to save them from looking at me, they didn't have to come in and do whatever they did to me so I was this calm! I could have happily walked out of that hospital, if only that doctor hadn't have said full examination, then I wouldn't have been tossed into a panic attack.
"I'm sorry Tommy, I am so sorry, its all my fault this happened, I won't let you down again." Danny appeared in front of me, crawling into bed, hugging me with his left arm, his right staying tucked up, firmly against his chest. "let...me...see." I whispered. "you don't want to see it Tommy, you really don't, think of what happened last time." Danny shook his head, paling a little. "please...you've...seen...mine." the hospital had revealed all of my cuts just today, and the bruises, and everything else. I was 'almost dangerously underweight' as they put it, I didn't even care, it was better than being fat. No-one took the p*ss when you were underweight, and it was what I deserved anyway, starvation was a permanent ongoing punishment, that wasn't being taken away from me.
"I know I have, along with the bruises, but I can't show you mine." Danny refused. "please." I tried to look him in the eye, I wanted to see his cuts, just to see what damage he had caused himself. "how about we make a deal? I'll show you my scars if you promise to not tell the others what I just did, yeah?" Danny bargained, I nodded in agreement. "alright, I'll also keep the bruises a secret, we can work on that together." Danny slowly rolled up his sleeve, showing me all of the scars going up his arm. So many were healed over perfectly, just a small bump left, then there were the new ones. 2 long jagged, criss crossed lines going right through the middle of the rest of them, almost like a sadistic pattern. They were still bleeding slightly, red drops slowly leaving sticky red lines behind.
"bandage...them...bleeding." I couldn't keep my eyes off the scars, they looked horrible on Dannys freckled skin. It was like the worst horror movie to me, knowing how badly the guilt could eat up your insides, leaving you a monster, hungry for sharp things. "alright, I'll go bandage them, if anyone comes in, I'm getting changed or something." Danny kissed my nose and ran off to the bathroom to cover up those nasty cuts. It was my fault he had made all of them, if I had hidden it from him well enough, maybe he wouldn't have started, and his arm would still be perfect. But I hadn't hidden my cutting from him well enough so he began, how could I have been so careless? I should have hidden it better from everyone! That way Danny wouldn't be cutting, Dougie wouldn't have cried like he did the other week, and Harry wouldn't be trying to pick up the pieces of the 3 of us. He would snap himself soon if he didn't stop trying to pick us all up and look after us, then that would leave little Dougie, who already tried to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he would break so easily, like a twig. It was my fault we were all like this, if I had just stayed quiet, or tried to act more like 'myself' then maybe things would have been okay, but I had thought hiding was the best option, maybe hiding in plain sight would have worked better, I don't think I had ever felt so guilty my whole life.
At least I couldn't do anything right now, I was stuck like this, trapped in bed, unable to move away from it. "all bandaged up, hey, don't look so sad! Its all gone now, look, all covered up!" Danny noticed my upset, getting back into bed with me and holding me close. "I'm...sorry... never...cut...again!" I cried, feeling so guilty because of my stupid actions, causing this for Danny, who was so perfect, how could have possibly done this?! "I'll try baby, I'll try. We'll talk about it later, when you're better. You need to relax now." Danny shushed me, stroking my hair until I stopped shaking with unshed tears.
228 Harrys POV
I think that after that phone call, we all just laid in bed all day, trying to forget the world and everything that was wrong around us. It half worked, we managed to spend the day in bed, but forgetting what was happening was difficult. "Doug, I can hear you worrying." I sighed, drumming beats on his side to try and relax him. "I can't help it! They gave Tom something thats made him drowsy and stuff! How can they do that to him?" Dougie looked up at me with wide eyes, they watered slightly. "because hospitals have a 1 track mind and will do anything to get a patient better." I wiped away the tears, pushing Dougies long dirty blonde fringe from his face, framing his cheeks with my hands.
"how long will it take for the drug to wear off?" Dougie whimpered, holding onto my hands so tightly. "I don't know Dougs, probably a few hours. But Danny will take good care of Tom, don't worry, he'll be right as rain later on." I took my hands off of his cheeks and wrapped them around Dougies small torso, trying to stop him worrying so much. "how can you be sure?" Dougie asked, nuzzling into my chest, his small arms trying to grip onto my torso, like I still had a shirt on. "I just know Dougs, it'll be fine, I promise. I can guarantee you that tomorrow we'll go round to see both Tom and Danny and they will be fine. Trust me." I was practically begging that Dougie would believe me, so he could calm down. "I do trust you, I just don't trust them both, cause... you know." Dougie still couldn't get his head round the idea of the self harm, I don't think he would ever get his head round it, and I wasn't about to start explaining it either. It would make Dougie worry more, and that was the number 1 thing I avoided, making Dougie worried.
"they'll be fine. Carries there too, she won't let them do anything, anyway, its kinda impossible for Tom, cause he can't move much. And Danny won't leave him, not for a minute, so it'll be fine, I'm sure." I was lying, I didn't know if Danny would leave Tom, I didn't really know much about self harm, so I didn't know how the impulse would affect them both. "I hope you're right, I really do." Dougie whispered, pulling the covers over us again, we had kicked them off a few hours ago, now he was getting a bit shivery.
"its going to be okay, trust me, and if it isn't, I'm sure we can help them both out. Now, its midnight, we better fall asleep now, so we're ready for tomorrow." I realised what the time was and was thankful for the fact we had another day off tomorrow, so we could relax after worrying all day. It took Dougie a while to fall asleep, but he managed eventually, his tiny little hands holding onto me like it was the only thing keeping him safe and grounded in the world.
It didn't keep the nightmares away though. I was up half the night with Dougie, because he kept on waking up, in a complete panic thinking that either Tom or Danny or both had died somehow... mostly from self harm. This time it was no different. "blood, endless blood! He-he died! He died Harry! He d-died!" Dougie cried, falling into my arms for the 4th time that night. "he's alive Dougs, he's alive, it was just a nightmare." It was a sad thought that I was getting so used to this now, that I knew exactly how to comfort Dougie and make him calm down a little. "I know but it seemed so real!" Dougie whimpered, curling into my arms, his messy hair tickling my chin a little. "all nightmares do Dougie, but they're not. I promise you they're not real. This is real, and you'll see that the both of them are fine tomorrow...well, today now. We'll see that they're okay later on." I promised, hoping and practically praying that neither Tom nor Danny had cut again, so I could be proved right so Dougie trusted me and realised he hadn't needed to worry so much.