Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach!
AHAHAHA! This story is totally going to be finished!
…It is isn't it?!
OMG.
Also, a bit of randomness here - don't you think this is an exciting time for Bleach? We get to see how all the Captains were like when they were young.
…younger. I mean.
Anyway, awesome stuff.
To the Wind
Chapter 17
By Advent Wing
Confirm/Deny?
No, that wasn't AI EX. That was Ichigo's brain.
'This is really happening to me – Confirm/Deny?'
Confirmed. This is really happening to you.
I could be hallucinating. He'd been hung upside-down now for a while, brain-damage was a possibility.
But did the fact that he was hung-upside down not confirm the reality of his situation?
He shook his head to clear it. He needed a second opinion.
"Hey Rukia."
"Yes?"
"Is our fake robot daughter who was possessed by her 'brother/sister' trying to take over the world and make our Home Ec teacher it's King?"
"I suppose."
"I'm just checking."
Were they lucky? She said she wouldn't kill them right away, and Keigo had almost spoilt it by commenting (smugly) how megalomaniacs always regretted that move, but a kick to Ichigo's right had silenced him much in the same way a kick to the left would silence Mizuiro.
And now they were tied up in a room, in a hidden underground complex, several metres below sea-level.
Be thankful for the small favours, he noted mentally. He had to be thankful. It could be worse.
"…I'm gonna pass out." He managed.
Rukia either ignored him or didn't hear him. "I'm somewhat affronted. She didn't hang me upside down. Does she consider me the inferior parent? My pride won't allow it. If anyone wears the pants in this family—"
"Dammit Rukia, I'm really gonna pass out. Is there anything we can do to get me down?"
"Yes."
Ichigo's glare would have reduced lesser beings (Keigo) to snivelling masses of flesh, but its effect just rolled off of Rukia. "…I've been asking that question for the past half-hour." He ground out. "What's changed?"
"I managed to store enough spirit power for a Destructive Art. She didn't tie my fingers together so I'm going to burn through the rope with my fingertips. I might have enough after that for yours; if I can't find a way to cut you loose normally."
Ichigo paused, and his fury abated. "Hey. That's real good," he said.
Rukia nodded, almost smugly. "I'm a little drained from our Hot Springs adventure, but I bet I can manage this at least." She closed her eyes, concentrating the heat into her fingertips. The rope glowed red, and she winced as her wrists were burned.
"Any left?" Ichigo asked, watching Rukia sideways. She shook the ropes free and stretched. Hoo that was better.
"Actually, yes." She eyed the height at which she was expected to reach. She stood up on her tiptoes, reaching for his ropes.
Ichigo found the view rather disconcerting, so he focused on the floor.
"I can't reach it. I think I have enough to try firing a shot off."
"Uh, wait, wait!" He tried, realizing too late—!
"Red Flame Cannon!" She cried, and grinned when the rope snapped.
The cold metal floor echoed with a dull thud as he dropped face-first into it.
"Right." She said, dusting her hands off and studying the room, her very stance suggesting she was ready for action. "Let's—"
"You did that on purpose!" He cried, standing up…hooo...! He sat back down again. The world was moving a little strangely.
"Could you be quiet?!" She demanded shaprly. "This is a sneaking mission now!"
"…Wha?" He asked, gripping the side of his head.
"A sneaking mission!" She repeated, glancing around furtively, ready for anything. "We can't be spotted. There must be no alerts!"
Ichigo stared at Battle-Mode Rukia dazedly, trying to weather out the realigning of his body's senses. "I'm sorry; I've been hung upside down for thirty minutes."
"Luckily there are no cameras." She glanced up at the walls and ceilings. "I wonder why."
He got up unsteadily. "Ca…Can we worry about this later?" He asked, using rage to get his bearings back. "I have a robot baby to fry. How easy to learn is all that Kidou stuff?"
Rukia eyed him critically.
"…What?!"
"Nothing." She walked over to the door. "How do you suppose we get this open…?"
Ichigo stared hard at the little LCD screen. Things were still a little fuzzy. "I'm—" It turned from red to green. The door slid open with a soft shick.
In crawled Carpet Cleaner 06, who had just been activated by his new mistress. It was rather proud, being the sixth of the one hundred and thirty of his brothers and sisters to be brought online. The fact that it was just Tier 0 increased the honour.
And wow! How amazing his new life was! His original purpose was to be a floor polisher, but his new mistress had given him a new task - to check on the prisoners.
…Prisoners!
How exciting!
She should have given the job to something that had at least 180 degrees of vision…and didn't look like a mechanical bug only a little smaller than Ichigo's shoe.
Crunch.
"You didn't need to scoosh it." Rukia muttered irritably, as Ichigo lifted his foot off the poor thing.
Ichigo didn't mean to actually, but whatever. "You said it's a sneaking mission right?" He snapped, covering up his clumsiness. "So, anyone who sees us must die."
"He didn't see us, he…."
--
"Mayumi!" Orihime chided. "You know you shouldn't be so mean to your parents!"
Mayumi 2.0 sighed. "Oh shut your whining," she muttered, her tiny mouth quirking in a manner that seemed quite Ichigo-like. She tore her blue-eyed gaze away from the scrolling text. "Can't you see I have a robot army to raise?"
And raising one she was! All around the captive students, little mechanical bugs were rising from their little mechanical coffins, ready to do the bidding of their little mechanical mistress.
Yeah, she was raising a robot army all right. Tatsuki mused. A really pathetic one.
"For now, the Tier 0 cleaner bots…and then later…." She chucked gleefully.
"You're using robots meant to serve humans to dominate them!?"
Mayumi nodded. "Yeah."
"Nefarious!" Orihime cried.
"Excuse me?" Mizuiro asked.
"It's an English word." Ishida muttered.
Nefarious, nif-fair-ee-uss. An adjective. Literary evil; wicked Latin ne not + fas divine law. AI EX commented helpfully.
"Did I say you could talk?!" Mayumi demanded. "Did I say any of you could talk?"
…Sorry. Said AI EX, and in the ensuing silence, Keigo mumbled something through his gag.
"Pardon me Mayumi-chan." Mizuiro begun quietly.
"Yes, centre-parted boy number one?" She asked, absorbed with the contents of her screen.
"First of all, thank you for changing your voice back."
Mayumi blinked. "…Not a problem."
"Secondly, my name is Mizuiro, if you forgot." He was rather insulted at such a…bland description of his hair. He went to a stylist weekly.
"…Of course I remember, you inferior little thing," the little tot replied, unable to keep the self-consciousness out of her voice. "I just prefer to refer to you by a characteristic."
Tatsuki snorted. "…Don't tell me she has the same problem with names as Kurosaki. How did Katobeto know that?"
"He's been spying." Chad said helpfully.
"…That's going too far!" Orihime cried.
"Yeah. I think he needs to add 'is a stalker' to his curriculum vitae—
"—Silence meat-sack!" Mayumi exploded. "I do not have a problem with names! And do not insult Katobeto-sama!"
"Right, that's great," Mizuiro cut in. "But thirdly, I think Keigo really wants to say something."
A mechanical arm removed his gag. He spat. "—WHY THE HECK AM I THE ONLY ONE GAGGED?!"
--
Peeking around the corner, Rukia examined the walls and the ceiling. "All clear!" She whispered, gesturing with her hands.
"…You're being—" Idiotic. No wait. "…Silly." He nodded. Better. He was learning.
She spun on her heel. "And you're being too complacent! We're deep in enemy territory, cut off from our comrades, with only our minds and bodies our weapons!" She sighed heavily. "A situation I never wished to be in." She'd have to pull everything she had remembered from the manga she had read the other day.
He eyed her flatly. "If every enemy is like that bug I smashed, I don't think we need any weapons."
"Of course we need weapons! What about those arms?!"
"About that…" He frowned. "I'll think of something."
Rukia wondered at that. Most of his plans involved running in with his sword and hacking away at whatever body part he could reach.
"Anyway!" She said. "We are deep in enemy territory and—"
Ichigo rolled his eyes, pushing past her. "—Yes, yes, you said that—"
Rukia stamped her foot. "Hey! I'm in charge here! What's with the insubordination!?"
--
Odd, Mayumi decided as the room cackled with blue-tinged energy.
It was very odd. The bot she had designated to check on the parents had not returned.
They could have escaped and destroyed her servant!
No…it could have just gotten lost. She sighed. Maybe she should have brought out a Master Chef 3.0 to do the task. The problem was managing the power….
"Keigo." Tatsuki began calmly. "I'm going to kill you after this, you know that."
Keigo mumbled something high-pitched through his gag. Most likely it was a 'this is not my fault!'
"Chad!" Orihime whispered loudly, above the pulse and crackle of blue energy. "Do you think you could break free?"
Sweat began appearing on Chad's brow. Who did this girl think he was, if she thought he could break through what felt like three inches of steel?
…If it was two inches, he might have been able to do something….
"I can hear you Inoue." Mayumi snapped. "And stop whining Centre-Parted Hair Number Two! And all of you shut up or I'll gag every one of you!"
"So why were Ichigo and Rukia taken to a holding cell but not us?" Mizuiro asked, seemingly enjoying being the voice of logic and plot progression.
"Simple. I have plans for them, but I plan to kill all of you."
He winced.
"How's it going, Ishida?" Orihime asked, turning her stage-whisper to the composed young man.
He blinked. "Huh?" He asked, turning to her. She had asked that question with the most cutely serious face he had ever seen. "...Why me?"
The look melted into one of confusion. "…I just thought if anyone had something up their sleeve it would be you. Don't you carry some kind of weapon of mass destruction that can be summoned at will or…or some kind of anti-robot weapon?"
"…Er, I'm sorry I don't have anything that specific." He said, his thought process totally derailed at her uncanny ability to hit the nail on the head.
"Oh! So you do have a weapon!"
Mayumi turned to them. Who had a weapon?
He coughed, trying to regain some kind of control over his facial expressions. "No, I mean I don't have anything like that with me right now," he managed. He cursed. He should have said 'I don't have anything like that', period.
"I see. It's all right. Be sure to bring it with you next time we wind up in a situation like this."
"…I mean…never mind." He went back to trying to get the Energy Capsules stuffed into his socks closer to the top by rubbing his ankles as discreetly as possible.
--
"She won't kill us." Ichigo scoffed.
"And how do you know that?"
"If she was serious, she would have done it then and there."
Rukia pondered this as they walked the corridor. "I suppose you have a point. That means everyone else is safe too, right?"
"They should be."
The next door slid open.
Evening. The robotic parody of a chef greeted, rubbing its kitchen knives together. I've been sent to incapacitate and capture Parents One and Two. Might you know where I could find them? I think cutting their legs off might do it but—
"…No." Ichigo said, closing the door and pulling Rukia in the other direction. "…You know I think we should have taken the other corridor—"
The door behind them slid open and Ichigo whirled.
"HOLY SHIT!" He cried, watching the two kitchen knives swing towards him.
Rukia pushed him out of the way, and Ichigo felt his stomach drop as he watched the knives swing towards her instead—!
"Too easy," she said, blocking them both at the wrists and delivering a kick that knocked it off its feet.
That isn't very fair! It cried, having difficulty getting its limbs to push itself back up.
She tried not to wince at how painful it was to strike at metal. She pulled Ichigo up and ran with him to the corridor they had forsaken.
"That was pretty good," he muttered under his breath. "How'd you know it wouldn't get back up?"
"I didn't," she shrugged. "I just figured chefs aren't trained to be warriors; they're trained to be chefs."
--
"Mayumi, I really think you should stop this!" Orihime cried, straining at her restraints.
"Why?" She asked, seemingly bored. This would be the third time Orihime had spoken out against her actions. Why wasn't she gagged?
"It's…not nice. And nobody likes a dictator. Think about how sad Kurosaki-kun and Rukia-chan will be if—"
She scoffed. "—Screw that," she said, and Chad and Tatsuki blinked at the very Ichigo-like retort. "They'll be fine with it if I make them into robots too."
Orihime gasped, "You're going to make them into robots?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
Mayumi eyed her uncomfortably. "…Oh boo-hoo." She muttered. "It isn't be as bad as you think—
"—No," she cut in, shaking her head. "I was just thinking…that you're really sweet inside." Orihime said, blinking away tears. "And that this story is really moving."
The third capsule Ishida was trying for slipped further down his sock. "Just how is this moving?!" He and Mayumi demanded simultaneously.
Evening, Little Mistress, this is Master Chef 03. Just calling to say I have confirmed that Parents One and Two have escaped their cell…and I'm embarrassed to admit I was unsuccessful in recapturing them.
"Aha!" Cried Orihime triumphantly, proving yet again her ability to switch gears quickly. "Your plan is already being unravelled!" She turned to Tatsuki. "Isn't this exciting?"
Mayumi pinched the bridge of her little nose. Why hadn't she gagged Orihime again?
Little Mistress, I've been thinking, would it be fine if I cut the legs off? He asked, in the same cultured tone a waiter might use to ask how you would like your steak done.
Everyone gasped.
"It's fine. I'll just give them new legs anyway."
Very good, Madame! Might I also suggest you bring a squad out, and work on a Commander unit? These humans are fairly wily things.
--
Not very long later, the clanking of mechanical feet and five pairs of little kitchen knives were on Ichigo and Rukia's tail.
"…So okay!" Ichigo admitted fearfully. "Maybe we should've been sneakier!"
Rukia expelled a breath angrily. "It's a bit late for that—!"
—For the Little Mistress—! cried the robot Chef with the biggest hat.
The Little Mistress—! Repeated the four other Chefs behind it.
"One is fine," Rukia muttered beneath her breath. "Five is—"
"Door!" Ichigo cried, skidding to a halt. Smacking his palm onto the touch screen, it opened, and he and Rukia tumbled through it. He closed it behind them and his fingers fell over themselves to select 'Lock'.
"Pant…we're…faster than them, at least." Rukia said, winded.
"Yeah…" IChigo said, equally bushed. "…But not for long I think. I wonder how long it'll be till Mayumi gives them access to all the doors instead of having them ping her for every one we lock?"
Not very long, I'd say. Said one Master Chef ever-so-helpfully from the other side of the door.
It opened again with a soft shick. "FUCK!" He cried, pulling Rukia up and dashing down the corridor.
The metallic feet of the Chef Squad clicked after them. Rounding a corner, outpacing them, Rukia skidded to a halt.
"Here!" She said, pulling Ichigo into a room. She closed the door behind her. "This will do." She said. "With this, they'll come in one after another, not all at once."
"Right," he said sardonically. "This helps. Now we just have to dodge carp-cutting knife-work."
She turned her still bright eyes to him. "Well, if you think you can't dodge something meant for a dead fish, I don't mind you hiding in the back," she mocked, her tone carrying the edge of challenge.
Ichigo studied her for a minute, before turning his gaze to the door. "Right," he snapped. "I've been picking fights with local Yakuza-wanabes since I was 12. Maybe you should hide in the back. Is your gigai holding up, or what?"
She grinned at him, and went to one side of the door in answer. Ichigo went to the other.
--
"I just don't understand. The Tier 3 Master Chefs aren't able to capture them? It defies logical-linear thought process."
"…I mean, if you think about it, your army is compromised of robotic versions of domestic help, so—mwuh—!" Now Mizuiro was gagged too.
"Domestic help huh? I'll show you what 'domestic help' can do." She gazed fondly at the large 'Alice in Wonderland' CPU.
Her gaze snapped back to the console. "In the meantime, we'll send more Chefs after them…and…"
--
This wasn't fair.
"I TOLD YOU!" Rukia shrieked, sheer adrenaline wiping out any fatigue she might have.
"TOLD ME WHAT?!" He demanded, over the roar of a vacuum cleaner that sounded like it was designed by NASA.
They rounded a corner, feet skidding.
A split second later, the Tier 4 King Cleaner followed, ramming into the wall instead of making the 90 degree turn. Ichigo glanced over his shoulder as it extracted itself, bits of the wall showered the floor.
"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SCOOSHED THE FIRST ROBOT!"
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"
"JUST LOOK AT WHAT'S CHASING US!"
Indeed, it did look like the round little bug-like thing he had stepped on.
Only now it was as big as a car…and sounded like one too.
A cute chuckle erupted from behind them. "How's this?!" the voice of Mayumi cried. "Give it up Parents! You won't be able to outrun me for long!" The whole compound was now under her control. She now had a 100 synchronization rate.
Ahead of them, the robot chefs waited, their knives held out and ready. There was a right turn.
Rukia's eyes widened. "They've been luring us into—"
Ichigo groaned.
An army of little floor polishers awaited them as they turned right. Behind them, The King Cleaner came to a stop, purring like a race car on neutral. The corridor was just barely wide enough for it to move. The Chefs advanced cautiously. The bug like Cleaners clattered towards them.
Ichigo pushed Rukia behind him, but she scowled up at him and moved to stand beside him. Back-to-back, they waited for their enemies approach.
"It was a good run." Ichigo muttered.
Rukia nodded. They were stuck. She could count four squads of chefs, and couldn't figure out how many more of the mini-cleaners there were. The large one was also unapproachable. "Surrender for now. Maybe we won't lose our legs."
Ichigo scowled harder, and then nodded. "Alright," he called out. "We'll go quietly. Just keep the knives away."
--
Ishida began to sweat. Things were looking bad, and he really needed those capsules out now.
"You two are unbelievable! I had to bring out the King Cleaner to recapture you! When I make you into robots, you'll probably be God-Units!"
Ichigo struggled against the mechanical arms, but could do nothing.
Behind them, the pulses of blue light began to move even faster.
"Nevertheless!" She announced. "You're here now. I'm pleased!"
Ichigo glanced at Rukia balefully - Katobeto must have inserted her 'flair' for drama.
Mayumi spun to the console, and three bars filled up fully, and glowed green. The pulses running on the wall cackled, as if unable to contain the energy that was flowing into the Menos Grande CPU. "You will tremble at the sight of the robot that will conquer the world!"
The walls shook and the blue pulses raced into the CPU like a heartbeat gone wild—!
"Behold!" Mayumi commanded. "The Tier 5…Combat Butler, AI EX!"
The CPU walls shunted down, slowly.
Jaws dropped in horror as it stood, a mess of metal and wiring, its monocled eye gleaming bright yellow. A perfect robotic parody of a butler, right down to the jacket, bow tie, and kerchief in the pocket - and about twenty-odd feet tall.
Oh my fucking god, Ishida swore, sweating profusely from his attempts. SCREW SUBTLETY! He kicked off his shoes, lifted his feet to his hands, and began working the capsules up while everyone's attention was focused on the giant robot.
It towered over them, bathing in their brain-death, as Mayumi laughed maniacally.
"Ah! Orihime cried. "AI-san you liar! You did have a robot body!"
…Yes, well—
"Kuchiki—!" Ishida shouted, using his socked feet to throw her the capsules he had worked so hard to get out.
She caught them, sensing the power stored inside, slammed it against the arm holding her captive. "Blue Fire, Fall—!" She cried.
In a burst of bright light, circuitry tore, and the arms became slack.
"Ah!" Orihime cried. "Ishida-kun you liar! You did have an anti-robot weapon!"
Tatsuki hung her head.
Three more arms were already coming at them from the walls.
"Keep them busy!" Ichigo said, rushing towards Mayumi. Rukia turned to face the arms that were already moving towards her.
"No offence Father, but you're only human!" She sent three steel arms rushing at him, her last defence.
The captives stared at the showdown.
The robot arms holding them though seemed to be just as enthralled as everyone else, and the one gagging Keigo went slack for a moment. He laughed gleefully. "…Fools! Don't underestimate Orange-kun of Karakura River!" He declared, as Ichigo dodged two arms with ease. "His one Gangster-Killing Kick is—!"
Ichigo's right leg pulled back—!
"Invincible!"
The arm flew to the side, leaving the way to Mayumi clear.
The slack arm stuffed a gag into Keigo's mouth again.
…Did Ichigo ever have nick-name? Chad pondered blinkingly at Keigo, while Ichigo grabbed Mayumi by her back collar.
"Father! You wouldn't—!" She shrieked as he made to smash her—!
-and then Ichigo groaned, straining at the hesitation in his arms. Why did it have to look so real!?
"…ICHIGOOOOO—!" Groaned five exasperated voices and two muffled ones simultaneously.
"I GET IT ALRIGHT!?"
"Someone help me!" The tot cried.
At your service, my mistress, rumbled the monster. The ground shook as it took a step forward—!
Click.
Doooooooooooommmmmm….
Ah. That was the sound of the power dying.
In everything.
Keigo spat out his gag, having been dropped from the now limp mechanical arm. "…Why is it dark now?" he asked.
--
"Well?" asked Ichigo roughly, all eight of them crowded in front of the only light source in the room.
All right. I'm back in control. After examination of the local power grid, it would seem like the entirety of Karakura has been plunged into darkness.
"Nuts." Mayumi muttered. "I knew I should have waited a bit for Tier 5. Macro-management is so hard."
"Hush you." Rukia chastised. "You're in big trouble."
"What about Hospitals? And fire Departments?" Orihime asked.
Tatsuki clapped her on the shoulder. "They should have emergency power."
As do we. Though it's only enough to bring some lights and the elevator back up.
"Please." Ishida muttered.
--
"Hello everyone!" Katobeto greeted, popping into the room. "How are we all doing hmm?"
The scattered, half-dead teens glared at him balefully, in various limp positions across the living room.
"I would have got here sooner, but the whole town was out of power! It was chaos. How's Mayumi?"
He blinked as they got up, and began staggering to him.
"Is…did…something happen?"
--
"So…shall we all congratulate ourselves on surviving a robot attack?" Tatsuki asked, sipping from her cup slowly. Hot chocolate and ice-cream. Great comfort food.
"…I think it went rather well - minus the fact that Ichigo nearly beat sensei to a pulp." Rukia eyed Ichigo frustratedly.
"Everyone wanted me to do it."
"It doesn't matter."
Tatsuki shrugged. "At least he approved of letting us sleep over."
Ichigo jerked, and the look in his eyes was one of a puppy who had been beaten too many times. "…What?"
Tsuzuku
Anna, thanks for the review, I'm honoured to be your first. Some things I need to clear up, my penname isn't Tsuzuku XD It's Advent Wing. Tsuzuku means something on the lines of 'To Be Continued'. You can find it at the end of J-Drama episodes, certain old anime, and sometimes at the end of the college essays of desperate students (it'd be in English).
There are plenty of authors who wouldn't mind a word or two. Here's to your next review XD
Next, Confession Arc whee.
Also, yes, I watched Iron Man. Those helper robots were too damn cute.