Chapter 20

Renji groans, trying to work out the rigor mortis that had locked up his joints while he'd been lying around dead all night. His withering gaze falls on me, and my eyes widen innocently.

"What?" I say. He looks like he wants to get into it with me, but then he hesitates, sees sense, and remains silent. The make-up team is applying the final touches to his face and hair, which is done up into its neat ponytail.

This time, they secure a safe zone in the area around Renji with no sharp, pointy, or harmful objects. Kokuto is waiting impatiently next to me. He has already refused to be touched up, I guess because he's confident in his appearance as it is.

Hat-n'-clogs is preparing his confetti cannon again for the upcoming announcement. The audience is still an inch deep in confetti from the last fiasco. Some if it's still in my hair.

Animekisses: "Awww, I got a special shout-out! My heart, it's been touched! With love! Haha, I live for reviewing this story, Kevvy!"

I make a dramatic leap for Anime-kisses and glomp her, holding onto her like a lifeline as I sink to my knees. "Someone LIVES for my Auction!" I cry, sniffling. "It's a miracle." Renji rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath. "Oh, please."

"I hope you have fun with Starrk, Mangareader125! But don't forget to bring him around sometime."

Anime-kisses winks as I roll along with my melodrama, now lying prostrate on the floor. "Yeah, don't forget me Mangareader!" I wail, my voice wobbling.

"Who gave Urahara a confetti cannon...?"

Kisuke grins wickedly. "I bribed a stage hand." Said stage hand drops everything and runs, trying to get a head start before I capture and maim him. Seizing the moment, I abandon my melodrama and dash after him.

"This is either the worst or best decision one could make. Time will tell which one."

"Indeed it will," Hat-'n-clogs agrees, eyes glittering with mischief.

"Renji's time on auction had just resulted in physical and emotional pain for him. Poor doll."

Renji absorbs the sympathy with a welcoming flush of his complexion.

"Straightening iron burns hurt like hell. IT'S OKAY, RENJI, I'M HERE FOR YOU!"

Anime-kisses whispers dramatically to him, "You can cry on my shoulder."

Renji turns a darker shade of red, and just nods, unable to find words.

"Kisuke, we need to go get facials together sometime. Oh! I'll add that to my offer. FREE FACIALS! All day er' day!"

The frisky shopkeeper brightens up, the light in his eyes dancing. "Excellent! You know, I find it very refreshing. My skin tingles afterward," he tells her. "It's a very pleasant feeling." He strokes the bristles on his chin, a nostalgic expression crossing his face. He certainly is chipper today...

Anime-kisses turns her attention to Kokuto, who is seeing off his harem of fan-girls.

"I'm sorry I'm crazy, Kokuto."

"Don't be. Crazy's a good thing," he says, and winks at her. He slides his hands into pockets and smooches at one of his fan-girls, causing a tide of squealing and arm-flailing. He then walks idly over to stand by Renji.

Since I've got to chase after my stage hand, Urahara is left to play host.

He scans the stage for me, and giddily grabs his cannon when he sees I'm nowhere in sight.

"CONGRATS, SUPERSAIYANHOLLOW! YOU'VE WON KOKUTO!" Kisuke declares, then goes bat-shit wild with the confetti cannon, sendiing plumes of it raining down everywhere.

He takes a big breath to proclaim the next winner, but inhales some confetti and starts hacking.

At that moment, I execute a very ill-timed somersault onto the stage. Chad follows close behind with my battered and unconscious stage hand draped over his broad shoulder.

"CONGRATS, CIASSUWARTY, YOU'VE WON RENJI!" I blink erratically as I notice Hat-'n'clogs chocking. My audience are brought to their knees by the impeding waves of confetti. Kokuto and Renji decide to get the hell out of dodge and rush to their owners.

I look down as I feel a tug on my custom-made hakama, and see Narunosuke kneeling at my side.

"Master, should I do something?" he asks softly, somehow making himself heard over the choas.

I blink. "Master?" I utter dumbly. Fan-girls begin swarming onto the stage, and Narunosuke leans back on his heels just as Sakura Schiffer flies into him, knocking him back. "Yayz! Sakura loves u long time! Anyways...Sakura just wants to bid her love to chu clothes..."

"Or lack of them," Urahara interjects.

"...and since ya can't find yer master...Sakura will become yer new master if ya wants..."

"That sounds decidedly suggestive," I say.

"Uh...o-okay." Narunosuke stammers, swallowing nervously. Sakura hugs him and looks to Starrk, who is mingling in the audience with Mangareader. She adjusts the hat Kisuke bestowed upon her before bowing. "Starrk-sama...Sakura is happy ya found a good home..." She goes over to glomp the man. A few fanboys see Sakura and run to be the first in line for an autograph.

Apparantly, Renji had been a sensation even dead. While his corpse out been lied out last night, Sakura had made a show of poking Renji's body and hiding behind his Lazy-Boy..."I see dead person..." were the famous words that got her posted on Youtube. She now has a million hits.

Forever122: "I guess I'll bid on Chad! Okay. You're a nice guy and I want to be your friend. You're cool and collected and always look out for your friends. That's one of the best things you could be! I don't really think you want much...

Ohh! What if you could see your parakeet friend again! I'd make that happen for you! I'll have your back when you need it too. I take mixed martial arts, so I'm pretty good."

Chad makes a noncommittal noise, but somehow he seems interested...in his own weird way.

Narunosuke cries out several feet away as prying hands try to drag him down into the throng of rapist fan-girls. I immediately go to his rescue, wielding a bamboo cane.

"BACK! BACK, YOU FIENDS!" I howl, wacking them repeatedly.

The less determined rapists concede defeat, but a handful of stragglers continue to cling to Narunosuke. They practically froth at the mouth wen I get a hand too close.

Footfalls sound rapidly behind me, and Chad bursts forward with Kisuke. They tag-team, driving the crowd back with fluid ease. I haul Narunosuke up onto the platform, and he wraps his arms around me, smothering me. "Master!" he exclaims, distraught.

"Narunosuke," I wheeze, struggling for breath, "can't breath." He loosens his hold around my neck, and I gasp for air. Chad and Kisuke sit on the edge of the stage, panting from their exertion.

Mangareader, who had been sitting with the good bidders the entire time, stands up with what appears to be a Starrk-chibi plushy. "I will have Starrk with me during the bids still, so go crazy with him in the story...though I altered the barrier a smidgen to protect him...and me on occasion...from the fangirls/fanboys that will no doubt gather around his area.

"That's for sure," I sigh raggedly, flopping onto my side. As if to prove a point, the fan-girls and fan-boys leer evilly.

"I would also like to bid for Chad as well, though I have nothing to bid this time that is extravagant or flashy...I don't think those two words are the essence of Chad, so I will be simple with the bids...I will bid a whole wardrobe of his favorite clothing (quite a few pairs in case you get blood on them accidentally while protecting someone), a case of your favorite food, a large bottle of high-quality polish for pendants, and with the power of my magical pen and paper, I made a life-like replica of your Abuelo...even if you choose another person in the end, I will give the replica to you as a gift (I would never use an item like this one against someone just to get what I want)."

Chad dips his head. "Thank you," he says in his deeply rich voice.

Mangareader looks at Kisuke, who is sitting back on his hands. The make-up team bunches in around him, dabbing his face with cool wet cloths and feeding him cucumber slices.

"Uh, Kisuke? A quick question..."

"Yeah?" Kisuke lolls his head back so he can see Mangareader properly.

"...did you provide the items that the team used to make Starrk look awesome before the envelope reading? Because some of the chemicals caused a reaction and made him look like this..."

Mangareader raises the Starrk plushy...which actually isn't a plushy, but to everyone's shock, it's Starrk...a chibified Starrk. "Think you can fix this? He wants to be his old self soon! Somehow being a chibi is cutting into his sleeping schedule." Hat-'n-clogs sits up straight and stares at Starrk.

"Well I certainly didn't do that," he murmurs. The girls in the make-up crew look at each other, then shrug their shoulders.

"It might have been Mayuri's doing, just before he left."

I nod, crossing my arms. "He was pretty ticked off." Everyone falls into a contemplative silence, wondering if Mayuri was the culprit behind Starrk's...er...situation. Minutes pass. I begin to get used to the comforting quiet. Then someone flips a table.

JapanLover4ever: "Just why...HAS NOBODY BIDDED FOR MOMO, SHIRO-CHAN AND RANGIKU?!"

Urahara chuckles. "Probably because they haven't gone up on the block yet."

"Hah. Sorry about that."

"No harm done," he says, and looks pointedly at the smashed piece of furniture. "Apart from the table."

Chad picks up a broom propped up against the wall and begins sweeping the confetti-littered floor. Narunosuke yawns and drags me over to the recliner...while I protest the entire way.

Urahara relishes in the preening of his fan-girls, who are giving him all manner of favors.

Everyone seems to sense the day is coming to an end, and begins settling down or packing up their stuff to go home.

Then Toshiro Hitsugaya walks into the room.

Fan-girl helldom breaks loose.

To be continued...

A/N: Don't cry, Saria! Yes, your bid is good. :)

MehLikey: Gin has been auctioned off, but you are welcome to request for another character you would to bid on. And you can have a Gin plushy!

CrimsonCupcake, your love of Grimmjow and Ulquiorra is much appreciated. I'm glad you're excited about the Auction. SO AM I! ;)

Thank you to all my readers! And if you didn't guess yet, TOSHIRO IS ON BID NEXT CHAPTER! So go insane, and have fun! Glad to hear you're still staying with us Mangareader. :D

Join in for the insanity next chapter! Chad, Toshiro, Kisuke and Narunosuke will all be available!