A/N: In regards to a question from I'mSeriousBro, no, Rangiku isn't going anywhere. She has not been put on the Block yet. As you said, she was just there to humor everybody's bids because she was involved in most of them.
Somehow, with attitude alone, Szayel makes the Lazy Boy he's sitting in seem like a throne.
The Octova's arrival had spurred quite the surprised reaction from everyone, not least myself. I had been meaning to put him off for much later, but knowing Szayel's flare for dramatic entrances, he would have to try and steal the limelight from Toshiro.
"Ah, look at you all," he sighs, twirling a lock of hair around his index finger. "Speechless before my presence. And so you should be."
I glower at him, having been lumped in with the rest of the audience after Szayel laid claim to the entire stage. The stage I had built, by the way, with my own sweat and blood. Blood meaning I had gotten quite a few splinters. Not impressive, I know.
The audience and myself had pitched in funds to repair the stage after the catastrophe of the last chapter. Unfortunately, as soon as it had gone up, the mad scientist had rallied his fangirls against me and I had been, so to speak, overthrown.
Kisuke, being his usual dapper self, had remained unmoved. He still sits on his bed of cushions, making modifications to his cannon.
Of course, not everyone's spirits are dampened.
Squealing erupts behind me, making Szayel wince. His eyes narrow dangerously as Sakuya glomps me in slow motion. "Sakuya friggin loves chu!" I blink erratically, distracted from my dark thoughts of dismembering Szayel.
Sakuya shoves the Taco of Love into my hands, its heavenly glow almost blinding me.
"Sakuya thinkz this will come in handy one day...even though Chibi versions of Grimm-Kitty and Ulqui-Bat live in it..." I look startled, almost dropping the Taco. "Uh...Chibis?"
"Oh! And even though Sakuya gotz Narunosuke-kun now...she'll stick around and cause chaos...if Kevvy-chan doesn't mind." Sakuya smiles brightly.
"No public disturbances will be allowed as long as I am here," Szayel declares, and shrieks loudly as a colorful explosion of candy backfires from Kisuke's cannon, hitting him and throwing him right off his throne.
"I didn't see that coming," Hat-'n-clogs announces. A couple of people snicker.
"Now if chu shall excuse Sakuya, she's gonna torture Whitey-kun with watermelons."
Dazed, I wave goodbye and approach the platform, where Szayel is dangling precariously over the edge.
He twitches, bones cracking and popping back into place. After his body contorts back to its normal state, he rises slowly, waving his fans away and adjusting his crooked glass, which had been knocked askew.
Everyone gapes at him in awe. Except for me and Urahara. I'm disappointed and, well, Hat-'n-clogs isn't new to the whole instant regeneration thing.
Without wasting a second, Szayel points one long finger at Kisuke's cannon. "Confiscate that," he commands.
Szayel's worshipers tackle Kisuke, diving for the offending cannon.
"NOO!" he howls. An epic battle of tug-of-war begins, with Urahara's fans pitted against Szayel's. I sigh as this scene draws out for like 5 minutes, and then I signal for Chad.
He wedges himself between the two parties and wrenches the cannon away. Several persistent clingers hang on to the device until Chad swings it around 360 degrees, sending them flying across the room.
"You there! Give that to me!" Szayel demands. I jump onto the stage.
"No. I'm running things around here." I straighten up, trying to seem as threatening as possible.
A gloved white hand settles on my shoulder.
"And just who are you?" a soprano voice asks.
I catapult into the air. "MICHAEL JACKSON!" I scream. Szayel effects a very blank look as I rush over and hide behind him.
"Well, well. And here I was under the impression that nothing could scare you," the mad genius says, amusement lacing his voice.
"Enough with the theatrics." Aaroniero strides out of the shadows from backstage.
Somehow the frills significantly take away from his diabolical presence, making it comical at best. I stare particularly long at his face..or faces. Everyone else joins in on the gawking. Except for Szayel, who thinks it's no great feat to look so hideous.
Finally, I break the long silence.
"Nice lava lamp," I remark.
"LAVA LAMP?" the high-pitched voice shrills, making everyone wince at the agony-inducing volume.
"YEAH! IT'S A LAVA LAMP, YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?" I yell back at him.
"IT'S NOT A LAVA LAMP, DAMMIT! IT'S A TANK!" He jabs a finger at the glass.
"Well how the hell am I s'pposed to know that?" I retaliate. "It looks a helluva lot like a lava lamp to me with all those bubbles in there!" He twitches angrily, looking very close to taking a flying leap at me.
Alas, our fight is short-lived.
Aaroniero's attention shifts away from me as he suddenly hears some very negative, disparaging whispers from the audience about his appearance.
"So ugly..." one girl murmurs, shuddering at the sight.
"What is it?"
"Maybe it's an alien or something..."
One of Toshiro's busty fangirls noticeably gags. Others squirm, uncomfortable with such a grotesque sight in their midst. Rangiku points a finger.
"Captaaain," she whines plaintively, suffering from a hangover. "I wanna bid a face reconstruction for him. He needs it."
Aaroniero shoots her a dagger-eyed look, clenching and unclenching his fists. On the farthest end of the stage, Tesla creeps out, trying to go unnoticed. Apparently, he fails at it, because Sakuya Schiffer spots him. "Also, I forgot to mention..." Tesla staggers back as Sakuya glomps him, hugging him to death.
"Ur so adorable! Gah!"
"Me?" he asks, not knowing what to think of such a compliment. Tesla normally didn't get praised. Just got on the receiving end of Nnoitora's bad side. Not that he minded. He worshiped Nnoitora and he was masochistic anyway, so he could take a few beatings.
Sakuya sees Szayel as he's threatening to cut Aaroniero down, because quite frankly, the Noveno won't shut up. Everyone keeps insulting his ego.
She frees Tesla and runs over, glomping Szayel and shaking him. "Sakuya love u, ya flamboyant, easily mistakable for being gay, sexy scientist chu! Sakuya hatez pink but lovez it on chu! Love meh!"
"I am not gay," Szayel tells her, sniffing with distaste. "Please remove yourself from my person."
Toshiro, who had been standing by witnessing this entire debacle, hops off the mountain of watermelons Sakuya had been torturing him with and heaves a sigh.
His fangirls look at him with big watery eyes as he walks over to them. He turns to forever122 first, and listens to her review. "Come visit me sometime in December or January? Those are usually our snowiest months of the year. Where I am, we are known for our amount of snow."
"Sure. I'll do that," he says. "And you can come and attend the New Year's party at our barracks."
He smiles, cocking his head slightly. The fangirls swoon. I roll my eyes.
MehLikey: "Kevvy, thanks so much for the new supply. You do too much for me. You really are too nice."
I flash a thumbs up. "I'm glad to help! Besides, its the least I can do after this last hiatus. I took forever writing this chapter, and I feel real bad about it."
"Hitsugaya-taicho, I see this is the time in which a decision occurs that may change your whole life. I feel so sorry for you, being bombarded with all those last minute offers."
He shrugs, hooking his thumbs through his obi. "It's no big deal."
"Who ever you choose in the end, I hope you are happy with them. My advice would be to think it through, and not make any rash decisions."
"Rash decisions were considered in the making of this chapter," I confess. "Part of the reason why it was delayed so badly. We wanted to get it right." Toshiro nods.
"If I do not win, I will not hold any grudges, as I don't expect to win anyways, because what do I have to offer that the others don't?
Answering what you answered to my question. Unlike so many others, I can't promise you the impossible. I can see you have a goal, and that's always a good thing. I can't give you some magical pill to make you suddenly power up, and I know that the best way to become stronger, mentally and physically, is to work at it with your own sweat and guts. I can't help you down that road, but I can promise to be there for you, and lend a helping hand where necessary.
I wish you lots of luck with your decision, and I hope you make the right one. Don't let anyone else make the decision for you."
MehLikey comes around to me. "Kevvy, you must be happy. Look at the reviews for this story. Heaps."
I beam. "Yeah, I know. Almost 270. I love you readers!" MehLikey smiles and gives me a friendly hug.
"Don't let anyone bring you down."
"I won't." I do a pose. "I'm impervious to negativity!" MehLikey waves as exiting the building.
"I'm off now. All that preachy stuff that I didn't know I had in me completely tired me out. Bye!"
Someone throws a tomato at Szayel. It hits his clean uniform with a dull splat and slides down, dropping onto the floor. The Szayel Brigade leaps into action, going to arrest the assailant. But then, out of nowhere, an eruption of confetti sweeps them off their feet. Kisuke rides the wave on a surfboard, grinning.
"CONGRATS, MEHLIKEY, YOU'VE WON TOSHIRO HITSUGAYA!"
A tsunami of confetti swallows Szayel. The entire studio is plunged into darkness...and confetti.
To be continued...
Bids for Szayel are forwarded to the next chapter.
In regards to MehLikey's winning Toshiro, Toshiro has this to say: "Your offer is very down-to-earth. Not many people would try for that angle, so the fact that you did is admirable. I look forward to working with you." Toshiro's fangirls wail, begging him not to leave. He just shakes his head and is escorted backstage by Chad to meet up with MehLikey.
And so ends the bidding for Toshiro. Kisuke is now also leaving us.
"Bye, everyone!" Hat-'n-cligs smiles, waving excitedly to his fans. I actually begin tearing up a little.
"But who will announce the winnings? And unleash the confetti?" I pick up the renowned confetti cannon, looking forlorn. He pats my head, ruffling my hair.
"I leave it to you, grasshopper." My lip wobbles a bit, and I break out into sobs, grabbing on to his haori.
Meanwhile...Szayel's fans are digging him out. Chad is sadly going to be on bid for another chapter while I try to figure out what to do with him. So if anyone wants to last-minute bid on him, now is the time to do it. Tesla, Szayel and Aaroniero are also on bid.
Readers should expect regular updates now with all the free time I have on my hands, so no more unexpected hiatuses. Feel free to bid as much as you want :) And thanks for all the support!
PS: I'm glad you're staying on board, Sakuya. ;) :)