LeilaTheGalaxyDefender - thank you so much! :D
258 Dannys POV
Thankfully, I managed to hold Tom close for long enough, so the urge he felt to cut lessoned again. I was so proud of him for letting me hold him back, and for trying to relax again, I knew how much strength it took to do that. "I'm proud of you, just know that, I'm really proud of you." I whispered, nuzzling into his soft hair. I didn't get a reply, and didn't really push for one, I was all too happy to leave Tom to sit here with me and hug, that was all the reply I needed. If I could have stayed like this forever, I would have, I felt so happy here. My boyfriend was finally in my arms, he had just managed to not give into self harm, I didn't want to cut either. Everything seemed almost back to normal for once, which was a miracle in itself, I wished for things to continue like this forever.
"I love you Tom, so much, I really, really love you." I whispered, pressing kisses to his perfect hair, hoping he would repeat those words. "I know." Tom replied at the same level I did, disappointing me a little. It had been months, possibly a year since I last heard Tom say that he loved me, it killed me every time I said it and he never said it back. That was all I wanted to hear, that Tom loved me, and when he didn't say it, I always thought that I had done something to make him fall out of love with me and now he was just too kind to break up with me. "do you love me too Tom?" I asked, wanting to see if this gave me an answer.
"yeah." Tom nodded hesitantly, wincing a little as I kissed his hair again. I tried to put that down to the fact that he hated touch, but, I was sat here with my arms around him, why would he be wincing at hair kissing but not writhing to get out of my arms? I was confused, and I wasn't sure if I should have asked or not. "do you like cuddling with me like this?" I went around a different route, running my fingers over Toms hand, noting how frail it was. We had to go back to the hospital soon too, because Doctor Young wanted to see Tom again, just to check up on him, to say the least I was not looking forward to that.
"yeah, I guess its alright." Tom shrugged, moving his hand away, untangling our legs seconds after I entangled them, "I'm gunna go to the bus for a while, I've left my book on there. See you later." Tom sighed and got up. I felt cold the second his body stopped touching my own. "I'll come with you, there's nothing to do here anyway while Harry and Dougie are talking about whatever it is." I quickly leapt up and followed along behind, wanting to spend some more time with him, we had been so close for 2 whole hours, I wasn't giving it up that easily.
Also, how could I leave him when hours ago he was scratching his arm? I couldn't just leave Tom on his own, I had to look after him, so our hard work over the past 3 weeks weren't wasted. So even if I was just sitting in the same room as Tom, it was better than leaving him alone on a tour bus full of sharp things. Though, there weren't any metal knives or forks. They were all plastic, so we couldn't hurt ourselves quickly with them, but, it was still better to keep an eye on Tom.
259 Dougies POV
"so, you're telling me that Tom is having nightmares that are making him cry, and you suspect that he ends up crying every morning?" Harry asked, I nodded, I had told him everything that had happened this morning, wanting to talk to someone about it. "yeah, thats what I think happens. He acted like I do after a bad night, only with more crying and less hugging for comfort." I nodded, running my hands over my lizard toy like I would with an actual lizard. "whoa, well I guess its a good thing that tonight is the last night of tour, and we're talking to him tomorrow about the medication, isn't it? From tomorrow, Danny will be with him in the morning again, so Tom will have someone with him all the time." Harry bit his lip in thought. He was right, tonight was our last night on tour, we had only had done 15 tour dates, so we didn't overwork ourselves.
"yeah, but I don't want him feeling like this! Tom deserves to be happy, on and off stage! After the tour, when are we going to next see him properly happy? Think about it." I worried, because the only time we actually saw a real smile on Toms face was while he was on stage, when would we actually see that smile again? "I don't know, look, we'll see what the medication does, then go from there, alright?" Harry suggested, tapping his hands against his knees, something he did while in thought. "but what if it doesn't help?" I asked, grabbing hold of his hand. "then I don't know. Maybe sending him to a professional? I don't know Dougs. I'm not good with things like this, I'm making it up as I go along. Just focus on the fact that its been three weeks since the last cut, okay? Just focus on the positives. What others are there?" Harry was clearly trying to distract me, like always.
"well, Toms eating more, I think he's put on some weight, which is good." I didn't mention that mostly Tom ate the things he didn't particularly like, so his least favourite pizza toppings, least favourite Chinese food, even when his favourites were there. "And has been hanging with us on the bus a little." I played along, playing with Harrys hands, realising how big his hands were compared to my own. "yeah, thats all good things. And we've got to come up with a good idea for a treat for both Tom and Danny." Harry squeezed my fingers, pulling me into his arms. "I know. I can't think of anything." I sighed, nuzzling into his neck. "neither can I, we'll think of something with their help though, I know we will." Harry encouraged, pulling me closer.
"yeah, I hope the medication works too, I don't want to send Tom to some professional. I want him home with us." I whispered, I didn't want to have Tom taken away from us, he was fine where he was, we could make him better, I was sure we could. "I want him home with us too Doug, but we have to do whats best for Tom. If keeping him at home is best for him, then we'll keep him home, if its not, then we'll send him to a professional. Anyway, not all professionals work in an ward or places where people stay, maybe Tom will be able to stay home, and still get the help he needs." Harry reassured me, running his hand over my back for comfort.
"that better happen, I don't be able to take it if Tom gets sent away." I whispered, gripping onto Harry so tightly, like if I held onto him and stayed in his arms, then nothing bad would happen. "I know Dougs, but think on the positive side, okay? Focus on tonight's show, he'll smile and be happy again. We'll worry about all of this tomorrow, okay? Come on, I think we'll be needed on the bus soon." Harry sighed, pulling me up and out to the bus.