xxPUDDxx - hmmm you could be right about that bad feeling... *innocent face* and it was amazing! i hope you get to see them live too some day, i assure you it'll be worth the wait!

270 Dougies POV

I hated this, I couldn't even breathe, there were black spots starting to dance in front of my eyes, my legs felt like jelly, I wasn't going to be able to stand soon. "Dougie, come on, breathe for me. You need to breathe." Harry encouraged, his hands keeping me on my feet as they gave way, "its going to be over soon, don't worry, it'll be alright, come on, breathe." He carried on, holding me to his chest. I clung to him for dear life, knowing I was going to pass out, like always. I could never handle stress, it always brought out the worst reactions in me. "breathe in time with me. Come on, deep breath in, and out again, in, and out again." Harry coached, and kept on until I could breathe properly.

I finally managed to calm down, still clinging to Harrys tshirt to keep upright, my legs were still shaking and black spots were dancing across my eyes, almost warning me that I could still faint. "shh, calm down Dougs, its okay. It'll all be over soon and we won't have to ever see Fletch again." Harry whispered, rubbing my back and kissing my hair. "please, don't let me go." I whimpered, nuzzling into his neck. "I won't, I won't let you go. I'll never let you go." Harry promised, just as the door opened. Fletch stormed out, slamming the door to the meeting room behind him.

"the lot of you are attention seeking little sh*ts! Don't think I won't now ruin you because of this!" Fletch growled, stamping off afterwards, and thats when my heart rate went up a notch. All that work to calm down went out the window, that glare he had given us, that glare was horrible, I didn't doubt his words at all, I knew he would almost for sure try and ruin us. "Doug, calm down, you need to calm down. Breathe Doug, breathe." Harry started up again, trying to calm me down, it didn't work, I ended up fainting in worry.

"Doug, come on Doug, wake up. Its over now, he's gone." Harrys voice woke me up, his hand shaking my shoulder. "eh, what?" I mumbled, half used to waking up after fainting yet again. I did this so much, I was used to the fainting a lot, so luckily it also didn't worry the guys too much. "you fainted again Dougs. But he's gone, Fletch has gone, its over." Danny explained, crouching next to my head, holding a shivering Tom in his arms. There were tear tracks on his pale face, he was trying to wipe them away with shaking hands, but it wasn't working. "he's gone Dougs, now come on, we'll get you home, do you feel sick or anything?" Harry helped me up, cradling me to his body.

"I'm fine, I think... oh hell, maybe not! I feel dizzy." I wobbled on my feet, getting grabbed by another sets of hands. "alright, I'll carry you." Harry carefully picked me up, scooping me into his arms and carrying me to the minivan, trying his best to not jog me too much, in case I felt sick. I didn't feel sick, I just felt tired, really, really tired, like I had run around outside for hours. I was put down in the back of the car, and brought into Harrys arms, his warmth was so comforting to me, I loved it because I felt safe in his arms. And right now, I just wanted to feel safe in his arms, like I hadn't just been terrified by Fletchs words, like I hadn't just fainted.

271 Toms POV

I felt horrible for what just happened, it was my fault that Fletch had been fired, completely my fault, if I hadn't have run away, he wouldn't have acted like he did and he wouldn't have gotten fired. I had gotten him fired, just by running away and angering him for being such a drama queen, making everything about me all the time. How do you feel now? Proud of yourself? You've just gotten rid of the one man telling you the truth about yourself, nice going. The monster inside my head was disgusted, truly disgusted with me. I hadn't known, I didn't realise what I was doing, if I had known that doing this made Fletch so angry he lost his job, I wouldn't have done any of this. I didn't think he would have gone like this, I thought he would have been like he was before I ran off, before I ran out of recovery time.

"Tom, are you still up for going to see We Will Rock You tonight?" Danny asked, breaking me from my thoughts. "y-yeah, I'm still up for it." I knew that I didn't actually deserve it, but I had to go, we had spent so much money on those tickets, and if I didn't go, Danny wouldn't either. And he deserved a reward for managing to be clean from self harm for a month. I couldn't just take that away from him, I had already taken away too much today. "you sure? You look a little ill." Danny worried, putting a hand to my forehead, probably taking temperature. "I'm fine, that was just...it was a bit nerve wracking, you know?" I nodded, shaking his hand free from my head, I didn't want to be touched right now.

Before I knew it, we were at the theatre, ready to watch the show. "are you sure you don't want to go get something to eat? Or you don't want to go home, its been a long day, its okay to want to go home." Danny asked for the 100th time, he had been asking that question every 10 minutes for the past hour, ever since we got here. "yes, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me, okay?" I told him one last time, when really I was anything but fine. I was hungry, but felt sick at the same time, my arms and legs were crawling for the bite of a razor, the monster was still cackling in my head, telling me I needed to punish myself for being such a screw up, that I didn't deserve this reward, I didn't deserve anything. I knew I didn't deserve anything, and the need to just carve into my thighs was unimaginable, I just needed, so badly, to cause pain to myself. But I couldn't, not here, not in public, not in front of Danny, unless...

I yanked my sleeves over my hands even more, covering my fingers, so as I put my finger in my mouth, it looked like I was just resting my head on my hand. Then, I bit, hard, on my finger, practically chewing at it, for the whole of the first half. It got to 5 minutes before the end of the first half and I broke through my skin, feeling a small line of blood start to trickle down to my palm, ah, that felt so much better. That would keep me going for a few more hours, until I could be on my own, alone with my razors. I couldn't wait for it, I was addicted to the razor, or at least the monster in my head was, I loved seeing the scars left behind. I loved seeing the blood pour down my arm or my leg, I loved watching it heal, I loved knowing that I was getting rid of my mistakes.

Though I didn't love that fact I was hiding it, or the fact that I had to lie about it all the time, I hated lying about it, making everyone think that I was getting better, when I really wasn't. It made me feel so guilty that I was lying to everyone about my so called 'problem' but it wasn't my fault, I had to cover it up so I could carry on, I needed to carry on doing this, the guilt would kill me if I didn't get rid of it like I did.

DANNY

The show was amazing, just like usual, and Tom seemed to enjoy it too, he didn't sing along like he usually did, but after todays stress, I wasn't expecting him to. But, I got a smile from him, which really did mean the world to me, so I didn't really care about anything else. And what made it better, was that I got to hold his hand in mine the whole way through the show, and play with his fingers, like we were watching a film at home, or on an actual date.

It made me almost completely forget about Fletch, and that he said he would get his revenge on us, and that tomorrow I had to take Tom back to the hospital for a check up. I hated the fact that Doctor Young insisted that I had to bring him back for another check up to make sure Tom was eating and the bruises had gone. I knew it would be a disaster and Tom would probably hate me for it, but I had to, I didn't want to get him into more trouble, or for him to slip up and lose more weight. He was already dangerously thin, and though he was putting on weight, he was still pretty small.

I fell asleep that night in Toms bed, wrapped up in him and the duvet, telling him that I was proud of him, that it would be okay in the end, though he had no idea that tomorrow he would be faced with more people poking and prodding and staring at him again.