I hope all of you had a nice Christmas and holiday season, and thanks for all the kind reviews. Enjoy this chapter! Please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers

Age Eleven

Just Nod

"Hey bro, what do your words say?" A boy from his class was asked, his tone light and friendly.

Ludwig replied, his voice thick with his German accent and his tone laced with boredom. "Why should I tell you?"

His classmate tilted his head in confusion. "Huh?"

The rhetorical question obviously threw the other boy for a loop. Why show your words? It was just something you did. If you wanted friends, you shared your words. So obviously, you would tell everyone your words. But no, Ludwig was tired of being run away from, made fun of. He was tired of getting teased and gossiped about at recess.

He wouldn't put up with this anymore.

"I said," Ludwig repeated, narrowing his blue eyes in an emotion that wasn't quite anger, closer to irritation and weariness, "that I don't see any reason to tell someone like you."

"Woah, man, I was just trying to be friendly. No need to be mean about it. I don't even wanna be friends with you anyway." His classmate said, eyebrows scrunching as he pivoted sharply away from Ludwig's desk and walked back to his other friends.

His teacher stared at him, having seen the exchange between Ludwig and the other boy, shaking her head sadly. She looked so disappointed. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like Ludwig would end up close to anyone, so why get attached? Why make friends? Why be friendly and nice if he was just going to end up alone?

His teacher was disappointed in him, and he knew his mother would be too if she had seen the exchange. His mom was always telling him that he was just so special that he didn't even need words, and that if he just tried a little harder he could make friends that didn't care whether he had words or not. But Ludwig didn't want friends, which was something that neither his family nor his teacher understood.

The blond didn't want friends. He didn't want people to know about the state of his plain wrist, or befriend him out of pity like other people had tried to. All people do is betray you and tease you. They ostracize you when you're different and kick you when you're already down. Ludwig swore that he didn't need friends, he didn't need words. He just needed himself, right? If he was so special like his mother and Gilbert said, surely he could get by just fine without words. The blue-eyed boy repeated that over and over in his head, making the phrase a mantra, hoping that if he continued to pretend he believed it, it would become real.

And maybe if he acted aloof enough, people would finally learn that he didn't want to talk to them in the first place, and that their requests of word sharing was futile. There was no point to engaging in small talk with people who would only end up abandoning him for their soulmate.

Straightening his back, Ludwig couldn't help but wonder whether or not that was really the life he wanted to lead. A friendless life? Was that even a life at all? Could he really get by like that? Clutching his empty wrist tightly, he realized that even if he couldn't get by like that, or didn't want to, he'd have to in order to survive.

No one wants to be friends with the wordless boy. If he had words, he probably wouldn't want to be friends with the freak with the plain wrist either.

He was born like this, and this was the life he had to lead. He was going to be forced to live out his life without words, without friends, and without a soulmate. He was going to have to continue his days without anyone by his side. He'd be just fine. Ludwig would be alone for the rest of his days.

And all Ludwig could do was sit in his desk and ask himself 'why?'

Of course, there wasn't an answer to that question. He had been left wondering the same thing for months and months, and never did he find an answer. Rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers, a sigh escaped his lips.

Life was boring without friends, he had to admit. He saw other kids playing around after school and passing notes in class, giggling quietly to themselves as they shared secrets and handshakes. If he had words, would he be like them too? Turning his head back to his worksheet, he filled out the answers silently and quickly, already knowing the answers.

"Ludwig, come here for a moment." The teacher commanded with furrowed eyebrows and a sugary sweet yet stern voice.

The German boy approached the desk warily, already fully aware of what she was going to say to him. This conversation happened with each and every one of his teachers sooner or later, and apparently this teacher was no different than the last.

"I'm concerned about you, Ludwig." She began, setting down her pencil and staring at him with analyzing eyes. "You're such a smart boy, and you're very sweet." Wrong. "And yet I never see you talking to any of your other classmates. Ludwig, do you have friends?"

Ludwig shook his head, not sadly, but honestly. It wasn't as upsetting to answer this question as it had been in the past. He was beginning to get used to it, the feeling of being alone.

"Oh, Ludwig, surely there must be someone you play with, right? Every boy your age has friends."

Blue eyes stared, unblinking. The teacher continued. "I'm aware of your... condition." She whispered, covering her mouth with her hand, as if it was a secret or she was saying the worst of cusses. "Your old teacher told me, and Ludwig, I'm sure you can still make friends even without... you know."

Why was she treating him like he was a delicate flower? As if one word would break him? She was acting as if he was a patient in the hospital, and one sentence would make his heart stop beating in his chest. Couldn't she treat him like he was a normal person?

"Ludwig, you're just special." She enunciated carefully as she watched him for a moment longer before snapping her fingers and pulling out a piece of notepaper from the top drawer of her desk, grabbing the previously discarded pencil. "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make an appointment for you with the school guidance councilor. I'm sure it'll help to talk out your feelings."

Oh Gott, was he being punished? In what form or way was sending him to the guidance office helpful? Didn't she understand that he didn't want to speak about it?

"Excuse me, but that's really not... necessary," the young boy finally spoke up, hoping that she would rip the paper in half and let him be on his way.

"No, Ludwig, I think it is." She flashed a tight lipped smile before continuing. "I'm worried about you, we all are." Who's we? "So, why don't you go right now? This is a free period, and I'm sure you can catch up on your schoolwork when you're home."

Well, it wasn't like he had plans to hang out with anyone after school anyway.

"Alright..." She scribbled something else on the paper, gentle and loopy cursive. "Now, go to this room and knock on the door. Just talk it out Ludwig, it'll make things easier."

What would talking do? Getting the words to pass his lips was not the problem, the problem was the words he could not even begin to form in his thoughts, the words that were not his own but someone else's said to him, harsh and judging words that had become the background noise to his life.

But instead of saying any of that, he nodded and took the piece of paper from the open palm of his teacher.

Ludwig walked down the empty halls, going up the stairs until he came across the room number listed on the paper. It looked to be around the size of a slightly large custodian closet. Knocking lightly, Ludwig sighed as he pushed open the door. Really, he'd much rather be doing his math homework right about now.

"Come in." The guidance councilor said, sitting at the table with hands knitted together and a pitiful look on his face. "I got a call from your teacher, she said you'd be coming to see me. Ludwig, correct? I'm Mr. Atkins, or Mr. A, if you'd prefer." The man smiled faintly, almost like he found this to be dull.

"Mr. Atkins," Ludwig began, "I don't understand... why I'm here."

"Oh, Ludwig, I think you know very well." Mr. Atkins replied, motioning to the chair across the table from him for Ludwig to sit in. As Ludwig took his seat in the plush chair, he continued. "I'm aware that you don't have many friends. Is this true?"

The blond nodded.

"And why, do you think, that is?"

Because he was a freak. He was different, wordless. There were so many reasons for him to not have friends, the list could go on forever. The other kids saw him as a quiet boy who probably thought he was better than them, which was not what he thought at all. They saw a stern and slightly scary boy while Ludwig saw himself as a waste of space. But that was not what he said.

"I have friends." He found himself saying, staring straight into the brown eyes of the guidance councilor, hoping the man wouldn't catch his lie. "They don't go to school here."

An eyebrow was raised, "oh, really?"

Ludwig nodded, wanting to hurry and leave the sad little office. "His name is Gilbert." Internally, he was cringing. What kind of loser gave the name of their older brother as the name of a friend? But Mr. Atkins did not need to know that Gilbert was not, in fact, an eleven-year-old boy from the other school in town, but instead a seventeen-year-old who was actually his brother.

He just had to convince this man that he had friends, that he was happy.

"Your teacher says you don't interact much with the other kids in your class. Why is that?"

"I prefer to focus on the assignments during class."

Mr. Atkins stared at him for a moment, analyzing his words. Ludwig silently prayed that his lies would pass and he'd never have to talk to this man again. "Alright, Ludwig, I'll let you return to class today. You're a very responsible young man. But I'll be checking up on you soon, so please, at least try to make friends."

Once again, the blond nodded his head, getting out of his seat and walking towards the door. Once in the hall, he closed the door behind him before sighing and straightening his shoulders and heading back to class. If teachers were always going to be like this, reporting him to guidance councilors and things like that, he would either have to try and make some friends and be like all the other kids, and pretend that it was normal he didn't have words. Join sports teams and after school clubs, make friends with the boys who poked fun at him and laughed at each other's crude and hurtful jokes or continue lying.

"How'd it go?" The teacher asked as he entered the room, obviously eager to see if her advice of 'talking out his feelings' had helped. "Was it helpful? Are you feeling better?"

For the fifth time that day, Ludwig nodded.

Making his way back to his solitary desk, Ludwig had decided that he could get used to lying. Ultimately, all it took was a nod to make people think that he was okay.

To be continued

Coming next: Age 12