woooo thank you all for the 200 comments, it means a hell of a lot!
LeilaTheGalaxyDefender - haha! :D
276 Dannys POV
I lay awake all night thinking about what Tom had said in the car, he had apologised for running away. Something I had never thought he would do, I mean, this was Tom we were on about here, he fully well knew what he did, and I hadn't thought he was sorry for it either. Well I guess he was, but why? And why would he apologise for it during that moment of all moments, just before we went into hospital? Wait...could he be apologising for running away so I was less likely to leave him there or something similar? I would never ever do that, but did Tom know that? Surely he knew that I loved him so much that I would never do that to him, but what if he didn't? I would have to let him know that he was loved and I would never let him be taken away, medical problem or not.
At around 10am, I got a text from Harry saying that him and Dougie were staying home, having a day together. I sighed, I wanted to talk to someone about this, to bounce ideas off, but I couldn't let him them not have a day to themselves, especially when they wanted one. We would be fine today, we would just...do something, whatever that would be, I had no idea. Whatever Tom wanted to do, and at the moment, he seemed like he wanted to sleep, considering that he hadn't even woken up yet, he still sleeping, his hands holding onto the pillow behind my head. I had moved him to lay like this after I had found him on the floor again when I woke up, he deserved a good nights sleep, on a bed, warm and comfy, held in my arms.
So, considering I was technically stuck (though I wasn't complaining about how I was laying in any way) I spent my time watching Tom sleep, not in a creepy way, but in a loving way, watching over him and protecting him from the demons in his sleep. Just as I thought that, Tom started whimpering, his head twitching. "no, please don't. Don't!" Tom whimpered, hands fisting around the pillow. "shh, I'm here. You're safe honey. Shhh. Go back to marshmallow land." I whispered, right into Toms ear, tucking his hair behind it. "ugh, marshmallow, Danny." Tom whimpered again, his head twitching even more. "shhh, marshmallows. Marshmallows and Time Lords, you're on Gallifrey baby, with The Doctor, you're safe." I continued, carrying on playing with Toms hair, calming his dreams down. "Doctor, marshmallows...peanut butter smoothie." Tom mumbled, falling peacefully back to sleep, his hand tightening in the Doctor Who pillow. I had changed it over a few days ago, tired of the plain white covers that had been on the bed, they were so unTom-like, I didn't like it at all.
Tom stayed asleep for a few more hours, before he finally opened his beautiful eyes, staring right into mine for a perfect second before he looked away again. "hey baby, feeling okay?" I whispered, running a finger down Toms soft cheek, watching him close his eyes and almost lean into the touch. "yeah, I'm okay." Tom answered, moving my hand, letting me hold his fingers in my hand, hopefully sensing that I just wanted to be close to him right now. "good, feeling any better now?" I asked, knowing just how bad all the attention the doctors affected Tom, he hated it, especially when they were judging him, saying bad things. He knew he was skinny, but he hated the way the doctors put it, the way they poked and prodded at him, like he didn't have hypersensitive feelings against himself. I hated the way the doctors treated Tom too, he was not an animal, he was a human being, and didn't need to be treated like anything else, especially by doctors.
"yeah, I feel better." Tom sighed, pulling his sleeves over his hands. "good, you were incredibly brave in there you know, I'm proud of you." I leant forward and kissed him gently, so thankful when I got a kiss back, a small kiss, but it was better than the nothing I was used to. "you shouldn't be, I didn't do much at all." Tom blushed. "yes, you did, you should be proud of yourself. I know its so hard for you to expose yourself in anyway around people, and you managed it yesterday, I am so proud of you for that." I encouraged, I didn't care that he had cried the whole time, and writhed out of their arms a few times, he had been so brave, and that was all I cared about.
277 Toms POV
Don't you dare believe this, don't you even dare. You weren't good yesterday, you cried, you wimp, the only good thing you did yesterday was make sure no-one saw your cuts the monster inside my head hissed loudly in warning, almost growling. "sorry." I whispered, realising that I had said that out loud. Nice going, stupid. "sorry for what honey?" Danny asked, gently pushing my face up to look at him. "nothing, don't worry." I shook my head, getting out of bed. "where are you going?" Danny sat up, watching me walk towards the wardrobe.
"shower, I stink of hospital." I explained, I could still smell the hospital on me, the smell of cleaning products made me want to heave, and not in a good way either. "oh yeah, I better do that too." Danny got up and followed me to the wardrobe, letting me have the first shower, though he did come into the bathroom as I showered, almost giving me a heart attack. "w-why are you in here?" I whispered, glancing at the razorblade I had gotten out before I had gotten in, just in case. "cleaning my teeth, don't worry, I'm not getting in with you if you don't want me too." Danny shrugged, starting to clean his teeth. He will never want to shower with you, don't ever think he would. The monster warned again, it commented on so many things Danny said and did, on what everyone said and did around me, it never, ever shut up! It only ever shut up for a few seconds when me and Danny kissed, but as soon as we broke apart, it was back again, laughing, taunting, telling me that I shouldn't be kissing people, I didn't deserve it, I didn't deserve anything.
"o-okay, I, er..." I trailed off, how was I going to get out with the razor and not let Danny see it? We're screwed now buddy, good luck getting out of this. Again, the monster supplied unhelpfully. "don't worry, I'll turn round when you get out, I know you don't like being looked at much." Danny said around his tooth brush, his voice muffled. "thanks." I breathed a sigh of relief, I could hide it easily in my towel, or in my hand now! "don't mention it, just tell me when you're getting out." Danny shrugged, I waited until he had finished by the sink, and he went back into the bedroom for something.
I jumped out and threw the razor in the bin, underneath some other things, wrapping a towel round my waist, quickly hiding the secret cuts on my thighs. I may have loved them, but they were secret, private, the thing that could break me. If people found out, I was done for, I would be made to stop, and I would not cope with just the monster inside my head, constantly chanting that I was worthless, telling me to cut constantly.
"Tommy, are you out the shower yet?" Danny called through the door, making me jump. "yeah, er, where are you?" I asked, how could I get dressed without Danny seeing me in anyway before I covered up again? "in the wardrobe, I'll be out in a minute." Danny shouted, hm, another loop hole. "could you stay there a few minutes? While I get dressed?" I poked my head out the door, looking at the curly haired man across the room. "yeah, sure. Mind if I borrow one of your tshirts? All of mine are in the wash!" Danny blushed a little, ducking back into the wardrobe. "alright, take what you want." I hurried to get dressed...wait, Danny had clothes here, when I was in the wardrobe, I had seen at least 4 of his tshirts, why was he borrowing my own? Even my voice wasn't telling me anything, even he didn't have an answer. Don't ask, just...let him do this, see how this unfolds. It advised instead, guiding my fingers to do up most of my shirt buttons, not leaving a bit of chest on show below the neck.
"cheers, I'll just be a few minutes, go down and have some breakfast, alright?" Danny bounded past, stopping to kiss my cheek, before bouncing into the shower.