Chapter 43

Anna POV

I am lying in bed with my beautiful husband wrapped around me. It is such a relieve, to have all this drama behind me. I know Paul and Elena were captured because I overheard Christian telling Taylor and Elliot earlier. My elbow is in a cast but it is not sore. At least I can go in water because my very bossy and loving husband persuaded the doctor to give me the best there was. I am happy about that because we planed on a beach trip. I must have been asleep for a long time because I can tell I am off the high. I peek at the bedside clock and it is 5 am. I need to find some pain meds for this urge I have. I slowly climbed out of bed and threw on my farm jeans and a tank top. I slipped on my knee length leather-riding boots over my jeans. I searched the entire house and not even one pill around. I know what they are doing. They are afraid I will get addicted and continue using. That is not going to happen. I will not allow it. Yes, I have a very strong urge for more heroine, but I know I am stronger than that. I will just keep my self very busy so I wont have time to think about it. I grab two cans of coke from the fridge and head out for a walk. I leave the house and head over to the stables to see my baby. He is a pure bread Alaskan - Shire horse. He has a coat as black as the night sky with a beautiful shine. He is huge and stands 180cm tall. He has white fluffy socks around his back hooves and black socks on the front. I have missed him so much. I need to speak to Christian and get him flown back to Seattle when we leave. The stable boy greets me and saddles him for me and gets a ladder so I can hop on. I didn't have a destination in mind I just wanted to be free. To feel the wind on my face. It felt so good I lost track of time.

Christian POV

I woke up and my baby was gone. I immediately started to panic. Her side of the bed was cold so she has been up a long time. It is now 7 and no sign of her. I go to the security office and bulldog is watching the screen with a red dot blinking.

"Morning Bulldog."

"Good morning Sir."

"Do you know were Anna is I can't seem to find her anywhere."

"Yes this red dot on the screen is her tracker. The stable boy said she went out with Bruno this morning. She is on her way back to the stables now."

"Excuse me Bruno? Who is that? Am I missing something here?" The fucking fool is laughing at me.

"Mr Grey you are a very possessive man. Bruno is Anna's prized Alaskan – Shire horse sir. He is a beauty."

"Yes, I am and you will be sure to remember that too. Ok I am going over to the stables with Elliot to meet her. Thank you for everything."

I walk back to the kitchen to get Elliot and we walk over towards the stables. Coming up the path is the most beautiful sight I have ever see. My Anna is on the back of this beast of a horse and she has a huge grin on her face. This horse is almost twice my size and I am a tall man. Wow what a sight. I grab my blackberry and snap a few shots of them. She strolls over towards us.

"Good morning boys." She says down to us smiling.

"Hey baby that is a beautiful horse you have there."

"Why thank you Christian he is my prized possession. How are you feeling today Elliot?"

"I am better that I expected. Just a little sore neck but that's nothing. What about you?"

"I woke up craving and was searching for pain meds but I guessed you'll removed them so I took 2 cokes and went for a ride. It helped a lot. I don't feel a craving at the moment but I am very hungry and tired."

This darn horse is huge. It looks like a dinosaur. Hell no, if I'm going on that thing. Anna looks like a little kid up on his back. I had to go and fetch the stable ladder so she could get off of him. She said she is hungry and exhausted and is going to lie down for the morning. Mum checked on her and said she is going to be perfect in a few days time.

1 week later I am sitting at the breakfast bar having lunch. The rest of the family left to go sort out wedding plans. I wanted to stay with Anna as she is napping. I still feel like I need to be by her side all the time to protect her. Maybe I am afraid she will be taken. Bulldog and Alex are somewhere on the farm. Suddenly I hear the screams and rush to her. She is in bed, but she is trashing around like she is trying to escape someone's grasp. I mange to talk her out of the panic and wake her up. She is drenched from head to toe in sweat.

"Anna it's me baby. I wont hurt you."

"Sorry Christian it was a bad dream. I am ok. It will go away just now. Let me get into the shower then we can have lunch. I will meat you in the kitchen."

"Ok baby no problem. Don't be long or I am coming in to look for you. Do you understand?" With a giggle I nod my head to let him know I understand. I get a shy smile back from him. I get in the shower and it feels like heaven. I lost track of time and notice feel his string hands around my waist. He feels so good against me.

"Anna you are taking to long. Are you ok?"

"Yes I am fine. I was just enjoying the feel of the hot water."

"Well you have been in there for half an hour now so I am coming to join you."

"Half an hour? Are you sure? It felt like 5 minutes. Yes, please come and join me it is getting rather lonely in here." We have a hot sexy make up session in the shower and the dream is soon something of the past. We then get dresses. I feel so alive again.

Anna POV

We sit and have a lovely lunch, which is a plate of Gail's famous beef lasagna with garlic loaf and a tall glass of coke. We went for a long walk after lunch. I decided I needed to chat to someone and my beautiful husband is one of the people who understand my cravings. I need to talk to Elliot to when he gets back. So he can chill and stop hovering. I want them to all enjoy this holiday.

"Baby can we talk about everything that has gone on?"

"Of course we can. I am here for you always. I love you. What's up with you baby?"

"I feel helpless and afraid. I am angry and sad all the time. I am pissed that things are always going wrong no matter how hard I try. The nightmares are a constant thing every single night. Most nights nobody even notices me slip out the house to go and sit with Bruno. It's easy for me to talk to him. I have been suffering all this time with my cravings. It is getting a lot better but not been able to workout makes it harder for me. Today it's been 1 week since my high and I want to get off of this farm. I am supposed to be on my honeymoon but it's more like my nightmare. Christian you are stuck entertaining Terry all the time. I know you always have me next to you but I am just there for convenience. Mia is all over Bulldog. Grace has Carrick. Mum has dad. And even Kate is away with her friends. Taylor has Gail. And me well I have visions of Paul taking over my life. It has become so bad that I now have these nightmares while I am awake and I panic. I just want to pack my things and run away were nobody will know me. I want to start over. My wedding day was suppose to be that way but look at how screwed my life has been. Christian can you please make it all go away. Make me better again before I loose it all."

I can't stop the tears and the shudder that has taken over my body. I collapse with exhaustion and Christian scoops me up bridal style and heads back to the house. I can feel the tension in his body. He places me on my bed and pulls his phone out and dials someone. I can hear a one sided conversation that is very confusing

"Hi yes its Christian here."

"Yes I am thank you."

"You know the story about what has gone down?"

"Well I want to use you and soon"

"I can set up a videoconference for you'll to do it."

"Yes, thank you. We will speak later."

"Good by to you to."

"Who was that Christian?" I had to ask.

"That was Dr. Flynn he is going to want to speak to you later about all that has gone on and is going to do it via video chat."

"But I don't want to speak to a shrink. I am going to be fine."

"Anna no buts this is not a discussion. You have stepped up and asked me for help and I am doing that, but I need your co-operation. Do you want to be sad for the rest of the trip or would you rather get batter. Or better yet do you want me to go out and buy you Heroine so you can forget it all. Because at the moment even though Paul is in jail you have become a slave to him and he is still in control of your life." She starts to cry and I feel so bad but I have to show her whats going on. Her voice is so soft and broken when she says.

"Christian how dare you say such things? You of all people know me better than anyone. I am not Paul's slave. I am not looking for fucking heroine. I do not want to forget but I don't want it to ruin my life. I am trying to pick up the pieces but they keep dropping. I thought I could do this on my own like last time but this time it is different. I have my heart invested with you Christian and am not prepared to let you down. Yes, I will talk to Dr. Flynn if it is going to help me. I just want to rest now. Could you please go away?"

"No, I will not leave you ever. I am here to stay baby. I will cradle you in my arms till you fell better then we will go and chat to Flynn together. Now rest up." I snuggle in behind her and she relaxes into me. It feels so good. I can't believe the conversation we just had. I am still trying to process it all. I will definitely have to make changes to make her happy again. I didn't realize what was going on with her. Now I feel really bad.