Author's Note: thank you to all those that have read so far, it means so much to me! As much as it constantly pains me, i still do not, nor will i ever, own Narnia or any of C.S. Lewis' wondrous creations. If you like it, leave a review, it will mean the world to me! Enjoy :)
"What were you doing outside?"
I racked my brain for excuses. I couldn't tell her I was with Caspian, that would be taken the wrong way. I wasn't about to tell her I was star gazing, she would think of me as one of those deep, thoughtful people, which I wasn't.
"Um, nothing." was my great reply.
She seemed satisfied with this. "Oh, ok. Have you seen Caspian? Peter's looking for him," She asked me. Should I lie to her, or tell her the truth. Lie. I shook my head, not looking at her. She shrugged and wrapped her arm mine, leading me through the dark tunnels.
I was about to ask where we were going when we arrived in the stone table room again.
All the Pevensies were there. Glenstorm and his soldiers were there too. Seeing the intimidating centaur reminded me, I hadn't seen Mel since yesterday evening, I would have to seek her out before I went to sleep. "What's going on?" I whispered to Lucy.
"Peter wanted to make an announcement."
I nodded and followed her over to where Susan and Edmund sat. Lucy took the spot next to Edmund and I leaned against the wall on her left. I waited for Peter to begin speaking, but he didn't. It looked like he was waiting for something.
"What's he waiting for?"
"Caspian," Edmund answered.
At that very moment, we heard footsteps coming through the caves. And then Caspian was there, walking to the middle of the room and standing beside Peter. My stomach twisted into nervous knots as he glanced in my direction.
But he wasn't looking at me.
He was looking at Susan.
Peter had begun to talk, but I wasn't listening. I was so…angry, sad, disappointed that I could've believed for one second that he even cared that I existed. He liked Susan. Susan, who was so beautiful, and smart, and responsible, and…perfect.
Not Christina…who was young, and naïve, and…silly.
I shook my head and convinced myself that Caspian liking Susan had absolutely no affect on me. Then, as if to prove my point to myself, I snapped back to the conversation. "We strike at nightfall tomorrow," Peter was saying.
That soon?
"Isn't that a bit soon? Are you sure we're prepared?"
Seems Lucy and I followed the same train of thought. Peter settled for glaring at her for a few seconds, answering her questions without speaking. "That's all for tonight. Get a good night's sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."
Watching the Centaurs file out, I was about to go with them when I noticed none of the humans, Pevensies or Caspian, were moving. I hesitated for only a second before turning and starting to leave. "Christina."
My heart rate picked up as I turned to face Peter.
All of them were staring at me, all the Monarchs.
Peter looked very serious as he gestured for me to come back, closer to the group. I shuffled forward, my feet feeling like lead. What had I done? Was I in trouble? "Lucy, Christina, although I'm sure you two are eager to help," Not really. "I'm afraid that you will both be staying behind tomorrow evening."
A wave of relief washed through me, instantly followed by guilt.
I should want to help. I shouldn't be happy about missing the chance to be of some use.
"What?" Lucy wailed. I could see that she truly wanted to help. But Peter was her over protective big brother. There was no way on earth (or Narnia, whatever) that he was going to let her put herself in harm's way. I was surprised he was letting Susan go.
"I'm sorry Lu, but it's the only way I can keep you safe."
Lucy looked like she wanted to argue so bad. Her face was flushed red with anger, but I could see how hurt she really was. Tears were brimming in her eyes, threatening to fall down her cheeks. With a frustrated sigh, she turned on her heel and stomped out of the room.
An awkward silence settled over the small group left.
"Do you have anything you'd like to say, Christina?"
Once again, all eyes were on me. I felt my cheeks warm up. I hated attention. "Um…no. No, I understand," I muttered, not looking at Peter. I tried to make it sound like I was upset, but truly, I was happy.
I was never the brave person. I was never the daring one. I was never the fighter. Infiltrating the enemy's castle and fighting against people who were going to be a billion times more experienced at sword fighting then I was seemed to be a combination of the three.
"Alright, well, goodnight."
I took that as my dismissal. Trying to seem nonchalant, I walked out of the room. The second I was out of sight I picked up my skirt and practically ran to the tiny cave that I shared with Mel and three other centaurs, whose names I still didn't know.
They were all there, but Mel was the only one awake.
"Where have you been? I haven't seen you all day!" Mel whisper/shouted at me. I let go of my skirts and plopped down onto my sleeping mat beside Mel. "I was thinking the same thing earlier. But, um, King Peter was having a meeting and he wanted me to be there."
"When are they going?"
So she knew what the meeting was about. And she also knew that she was probably going to be staying here, with most of the other women. "Tomorrow night," I whispered. "Why did he want you there?"
"He wanted to tell me that I wasn't going with them."
She nodded. Our conversation died out. I lay back on the mat and crossed my arms behind my head, staring at the ceiling of rock. My mind was whirling. I felt so guilty about not wanting to help. I needed to talk to someone. Who better than Mel?
"Mel? Is it bad that I'm relieved?"
The only answer I received was the slow rhythm of her breathing.