Not Like I Think About You Constantly
By: Tracy Cook
Disclaimer: I do not own anything; these characters belong to the creators of Glee, One Tree Hill, and The Vampire Diaries.
Authors Note: This is an AU fic that focuses around Glee/OTH/Vampire Diaries. There will be NO VAMPIRES and characters may be slightly OOC, but I will try and keep them in character.
Pairing: Quinn/Rachel, Brooke/Haley, and Caroline/Rebekah.
Rating: M
Chapter Twenty-Four
Help Me Pick Up The Pieces
"I thought it odd, certainly. Every single man or woman who attempted to court me over the duration of my lifetime disappeared the very next day. No matter what I did or what I said, they always left." Rebekah paused and let out a sigh as she ran her hand through blonde locks. "I had my suspicions. But, for the most part I just assumed that it was me, that I had driven them away somehow. That they were not attracted to me, or that my personality was too strong for them, those were the sane assumptions after all."
"But—um, now you-uh-now you don't think that was the case?" Emma muttered out uncomfortably. It was difficult for her to respond to Rebekah's problems, because they were not problems she had ever faced. But, she wanted to be there for her.
"Now, I am positive that was not the case."
Emma reorganized the pencils on her desk and focused intently on her hands as she asked, "So, what do you think happened then?"
"He killed them." The redhead's body tensed and her hands froze in the air as she heard the words. "He killed each and every one of them. Just like he killed our parents." Rebekah stated spitefully. The memory of her mother still pained her, and she reached for the necklace hanging around her neck.
Brown eyes widened and the councilor looked away from the blonde. She had no idea what to say in response to that.
"My brother stalked me, and after my dates were over he kidnapped them and he killed them. My brother killed everyone that I started to love in cold blood, with no remorse for their lives or how it would affect me if I were to ever find out." Rebekah tightened her grip on the necklace and squinted her blue eyes in thought. "I just—I cannot comprehend how or why he would do something so deplorable. The Nik that I knew and loved, my brother, he could never be capable of something like that."
She felt tears threatening to fill her eyes, but she pushed them back stubbornly. She did not want to waste another tear on her brother. He did not deserve her tears. "At least, I never thought that he could be."
What Rebekah hated the most about the situation was that she could not fully hate her brother; no matter how hard she tried. Because, he was still her brother. He was still the one who practically raised her, the one that she idolized for so long, her only friend. Niklaus was the only one who never left her.
Realization hit her suddenly, and she laughed humorlessly. "He always told me that he was the only one who would never leave me. That it was just him and me, always and forever. But, in the end he was the reason why they all left me. He was the reason I spent so many years alone." She paused and chewed on her full bottom lip as she contemplated a theory. "Perhaps that is exactly why he killed them all, to keep me to himself."
The thought of Nik killing off everyone that ever got close to her in order to keep her close to him, disgusted her. Her stomach flipped uncomfortably. That meant that it was her fault that they had died. If she wouldn't have dated them, they would still be alive.
Rebekah's voice quaked angrily as she spoke, "Selfish bastard killed all of them and destroyed my happiness, simply to ensure his own."
Emma noticed that she looked like she was about to get really angry and start screaming, so she attempted to calm her down. "Rebekah, it-it's okay now—"
"No, it isn't!" She practically screamed as she stood to her feet and threw her hands in the air.
The councilor's eyes widened in shock and she looked like a frightened deer caught in the headlights. "Um—I—I—" She stammered uncomfortably.
"It is not "okay" now. It is so far from okay." Rebekah's accented voice came out louder and louder with each word and she was starting to frighten Emma. "Sure, the bloody bastard is rotting away in prison, but so am I! And worse than that, so is Caroline!"
Rebekah started to pace in front of the older woman's desk, running her hands through her hair and rambling angrily. "Did I tell you that she has been having nightmares as of late?"
"Um-no, you-uh-you didn't tell me." Emma muttered out, frantically reorganizing the things on her desk in order to find some peace inside of her chaotic mind.
"Well, she has been." Rebekah chuckled and cast her blue eyes over at Emma. "And you know Caroline, she is too strong, too bleeding optimistic to admit that something is wrong with her. She merely throws herself into every odd project she can, and completely ignores the problem at hand. As if I don't know." Rebekah paused and let out a breath, lowering her voice slightly. "I asked her about the nightmares and she fed me some rubbish about zombies."
"Maybe they are about zomb—"
"—they are not about zombies!" She snapped, tears now rolling down her cheeks.
"How do you know that they aren't—um—about zombies?"
"Because, one night I heard her." Rebekah muttered out sadly under her breath. "She was whimpering and crying in her sleep, and in the midst of her nightmare she said his name. My brother's name. She told him to leave her alone. It is my fault that she is having these nightmares."
"It isn't your fault, Rebekah."
"Of course it is. I took a beautiful, optimistic, loving woman and I spread my darkness and tragedy all over her life. She would never have had to feel such terror if I hadn't been infatuated with her. If I would have just let her be, when she asked me to."
"She would have never found love either." Emma pointed out.
O
Rebekah's eyes were fixated on the door to her bedroom. She was waiting for Caroline. Every night around two in the morning, Caroline would sneak into her bedroom after having a nightmare and crawl into her bed. At first, she had attempted to ask her about the nightmares, but eventually they came to a silent agreement to not talk about the dreams. Regardless, she knew what they were about.
The door creaked open and Caroline popped her head inside, catching her girlfriend's eyes in the darkness and smiling as she made her way into the room. She was holding her stuffed bear close to her chest, and her blonde curls were a mess.
Rebekah noticed the tears that stained her cheeks and the sight devastated her. She just wanted to take all of her fear and pain away. She just wanted her to open up to her.
The British woman did not say anything. She just reached out and lifted up the covers to her bed, signaling for her girlfriend to climb into the bed with her. Caroline's smile widened and she did as she was instructed, crawling under the covers and snuggling up against Rebekah's chest. Her stuffed bear's nose dug into her chest, but Rebekah ignored it.
Reaching out, Rebekah ran her fingers through Caroline's hair. She could feel her wet tears against the exposed skin of her chest. "Another nightmare?"
She nodded and gripped onto the other woman's tank-top tightly. "I'm sorry I keep waking you up." Caroline breathed out, her voice shaking with sadness.
"You never need to apologize for that." Rebekah stated seriously.
She smiled a little. "I know. I just feel bad that I keep coming in here every night, being all clingy and stuff."
Rebekah ran her fingers down the side of Caroline's cheek and under her chin, before lifting her head up and meeting her eyes. "Don't you dare apologize for that. I love holding you at night, Caroline. You are never a burden to me."
Caroline smiled brightly, her teeth showing and her blue eyes squinting.
"Besides." She added, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to her girlfriend's forehead. "I adore your clingy side."
She laughed so loudly it caused her to snort. "You do not!"
"Do to."
"Yeah, okay, whatever you say." Caroline shook her head and shot Rebekah a disbelieving look as she returned her head to her chest and snuggled up against her.
"I adore every single personality trait that you possess, dear." Rebekah said with a full-lipped grin, and she returned to stroking her fingers through tangled blonde hair.
"Even my jealous side?" She muttered sleepily.
"Especially your jealous side. There is something so undeniably sexy about you being possessive over me." Both women laughed at this comment. Rebekah was just pleased to see Caroline happy again. She wanted her to always be happy. "You should probably get some rest, love. You'll need it. You've got a long day tomorrow."
"Are you implying that I'm difficult to handle in the morning when I don't get enough sleep?"
"That I am."
"Hey!" Caroline slapped her shoulder playfully. "You are so mean to me."
"Not mean, just honest." Rebekah grinned as Caroline let out a disapproving groan. "Luckily, I even adore the cranky, I haven't gotten enough rest, Caroline."
"Lucky me." She hummed happily as she snuggled into the warmth of her girlfriend's embrace. She felt safe when she was in Rebekah's arms, she felt happy and content. It made everything worth it.
"Lucky you, indeed."
O
"At first I was really broken up, but I truly do believe that my recent breakup may be the best thing that could have happened to me. Now I am free to focus all of my attentions on getting into the proper school to showcase my talents. A school that can aid in my quest to stardom, and finally performing on Broadway." Rachel smiled brightly as she stared across the councilor's office at Emma Pillsbury. She had been coming to her for advice since freshman year.
"Rachel…" Emma muttered out softly.
"Yes?" She asked eagerly.
"Are you—um—are you sure that you're not just trying to convince yourself that you are fine by putting all of your passion into your dreams?"
"Of course not. Whilst I do miss my ex dearly, I have always put all of my passion into my dreams. This is not a distraction tactic, Miss Pillsbury. This is for the best." Rachel nodded affirmatively. She missed Quinn so much, but she was not going to allow her depression to stand in the way of becoming a star. "This tragedy has only amplified my ambition and made me realize how far I have deviated off of my path toward stardom, is all."
"Okay, that's great!" Emma exclaimed, clapping her hands together and smiling brightly at the student. "As long as you're not just avoiding your problems." She added pointedly.
"I'm not." Rachel spoke confidently.
Emma gave her an uncertain look.
"I'm not."
O
Rachel was sitting in the hallway in front of her locker, sifting through one of her many binders. She liked to be organized. So she kept all of her paper work, sheet music, and homework, categorized alphabetically in binders. Currently, she was looking through one of the binders with her NYADA information. NYADA was her dream school. The school that she wanted to attend more than any of the others.
The only problem was that they only accepted a few students each year. Despite being confident in her abilities, and having a resume that surpassed any other individual in her school, she was still intimidated.
Her future was always set in stone and something in the far off distance, but now it was becoming a reality.
She would have to go and audition in order to be deemed worthy to attend the school. It made her stomach twist uncomfortably. 'What if I'm not good enough… I mean, I am the best here in Lima Ohio, but the competition won't be so sparse in New York City.'
In a picture-perfect scenario, she would have it all. Quinn would attend her audition with her and she would cheer her on, she would give her a good luck kiss and offer her encouraging smiles throughout her song. She would go with her to New York City, where she would win her numerous awards and perform on Broadway and Quinn would follow her dreams of becoming an actress, and in a few years they would start a family together.
But, the scenario was far from picture-perfect.
Tyler walked down the hallway and he noticed Rachel sitting in the hallway all alone. She looked like she was upset about something. He furrowed his brow in confusion and walked toward her, taking a seat next to her on the ground. For most of high school he didn't really care for the self-centered diva. She annoyed the hell out of him. But, ever since he joined glee club, she had really started to grow on him.
She was actually a really sweet girl once you got past her obsessive competitive nature. He supposed he was a lot like her, only with sports.
"What's up, Rach?"
Rachel's head shot up from her binder and she glanced over at the football player with wide brown eyes. She had not expected anyone to talk to her. "Tyler? What are you doing talking to me?"
"Sorry." Tyler laughed. "I didn't mean to make ya mad or anything. I just saw you sitting here all alone, looking all sad, and I wondered how you were doing. You've been acting really weird lately. You even gave away a solo this week." He pointed out.
"I am afraid that I do not know what you are talking about. I am perfectly fine. I'm great actually." She smiled brightly. "I am just sifting through possible academic choices for after graduation."
"You sure? I mean, you barely even sing in glee club anymore and when you do you sing really sad songs. Plus Quinn's been acting really weird too, and I know you two had a thing."
"Quinn and I are not currently speaking to each other. I do miss her, but I assure you, I am fine."
"Rachel…"
"It is better this way." Rachel informed.
Tyler shook his head. "Nah, I don't think it is. When you two were together you guys were so happy. I've never seen you so happy, and I sure as hell have never seen her so happy." Rachel scowled when she heard his explanation. She knew that Quinn made her happy and that she wanted to be with her, she did not need to hear it constantly. "Look, I get pretending to be happy. I've been doing the same thing ever since Caroline left me, but I know you're not fine."
"I am sad, Tyler. I admit to that and I am not hiding from that. She is the woman I have chased after and loved for years, and just when I finally had her, I ended things between the two of us. But, it had to be done. Even if I absolutely hate it, it was for the best. And now I can focus on myself while she focuses on herself."
He offered her a sad smile.
After a few minutes passed them by, he nodded toward the binder in her hands. "So, what schools ya looking at?"
"There are quite a few schools worthy of showcasing my talents, but I really want to attend NYADA."
"Where's that at?" Tyler asked.
"New York City." Rachel's eyes shimmered with excitement at the thought of moving to the place she had dreamt of living her entire life. "It would give me the perfect opportunity to attend school while auditioning for productions on Broadway." Her smile faltered a bit. "But, they only accept a few people each year."
"You'll get in."
"You mean that?"
"Yeah. I mean, we all hate to tell you it, 'cause you get all full of yourself. But, you've got an amazing voice."
"Thanks." Rachel smiled.
Quinn watched the scene unfold from across the hallway. She made sure to keep out of sight as her hazel eyes glared in their direction. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her jaw was clenched tightly. Her stomach twisted in knots and her nails dug into her arms. She hated it. She hated that Tyler was making Rachel smile, that he was encouraging her and making her happy. She hated that she wasn't the one doing those things.
She wanted to walk over to them and pull Tyler away from her, to tell him to stay away from her girlfriend. Yet, she couldn't. And it was all her fault.
O
"I don't even know why it bothered me so much. I'm the one who screwed everything up." Quinn growled out angrily into her hands as she sat in the chair across from the school councilor. She needed to rant. "I just can't stand seeing them with someone else! I don't understand how they can be moving on already, we just broke up!"
"Maybe he just needs to know that you are going to fight for him. You said that he um—felt like you weren't proud of him, right?"
Quinn nodded her head slowly.
"Then make him feel like you are proud of him! It's as simple as that." She smiled proudly.
"You keep saying him." The blonde pointed out with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, her fingernails digging into her scalp. She knew that she should tell her. If she couldn't even admit her feelings to a councilor, there was no way that she was on the right path to proving that she was proud of Rachel.
Emma's brown eyes widened in shock when Quinn suggested that it was not a boy that she was dating. She honestly could not believe her ears. Quinn Fabray and her family were not known around town for being understanding of homo—'Oh! That's why she doesn't think that she's proud of her! That makes total sense! Wow…'
"Oh, um, I am so sorry, Quinn. I um—I shouldn't have jumped to assumptions."
"It's fine." Quinn's body tensed. She felt like Emma was judging her now that she knew her sexuality, and she hated herself for feeling that way. She wished she could be as open and proud of her sexuality as Rachel was. "I can't really blame you."
"So…It's a girl?"
"You aren't allowed to repeat anything that we discuss in here, correct?"
"Correct."
Quinn let out a soft sigh of relief before shaking her head. "You are going to think that I'm crazy."
"I doubt it." Emma smiled reassuringly and nodded her head, urging her to continue.
She took in a deep shaky breath and focused her hazel eyes on anything in the room aside from the other woman. If she stared into her eyes, she knew that she would back down. "I…" She started and then paused. "I'm in love with Rachel."
"Rachel Berry?" She gasped. When Quinn shot her a look of horror, she quickly tried to cover up her shock. "But—um—haven't you pretty much tormented her for uh—ever?"
"Yes, hence why I said you would think that I was crazy." She threw her hands up in frustration, groaning out loudly. "I just—I don't know what is wrong with me! We finally started dating, and I was happy. I was truly happy. Which is something that I have never felt before, and then I go and screw up everything!"
"What did you do?"
"I made her feel like I wasn't proud to be dating her, because I cared too much about what everyone would think…" Quinn's voice trailed off.
"What your parents would think." Emma said.
Quinn raised a brow at her sudden perceptiveness. "How did you—"
"—It's no secret how closed-minded they are, Quinn. The entire town knows it. And it actually makes a lot of sense. You bullied Rachel in order to keep distance between the two of you, so that you wouldn't have to admit your feelings and disappoint your parents."
"I already know why I did it." She stated angrily, her abrupt change in demeanor causing Emma to jump. "Sorry. It's just…" Quinn paused. "I saw her in the hallway with Tyler, and they were laughing. He was making her smile, and it should be me! I should make her smile and I just constantly make her cry! I hate myself for being so terrible to her!"
"It—uh, it sounds to me like she just wants you to prove to her that you love her. After everything that you've put her through over the years it makes sense."
"How do I do that, though? I've been trying to change and be more open, I even came out at school. I've been trying so hard."
"Try harder."
O
"I just don't want her to blame herself, you know?" Caroline asked, raising both of her hands to emphasize her point.
"I know. I understand, I just think that maybe it—maybe it would um—be better for you if you opened up to her and told her about these dreams you keep having."
"But, how?" Her blue eyes filled with sorrow. "How do I tell my girlfriend that I keep having terrible nightmares about her brother killing her in front of me, and then killing me after? That's not something you just bring up in conversation." Caroline sighed. "I love her, and I want to be open with her more than anything, but I know her, and she'll blame herself. She already does. I see it on her face every night."
"Maybe don't tell her all of the details, just a few of them. Just open up a little bit and um—make sure that she knows that you still love her the same way as you did before the attack." Emma paused and looked the blonde over curiously. "You do, right? The attack didn't change the way that you feel about her, did it?"
"Of course not!" She dismissed the thought immediately. "If anything, I love her more than I did before the attack. She's so strong and brave, and she was willing to risk her life to save me, that means the world to me. It's just…" Caroline chewed on her bottom lip and knit her brows together. "He still scares me."
"He's locked away. He can't hurt you now."
Caroline laughed and rolled her eyes sarcastically. "He was locked away before."
Just as Emma was about to explain the difference, the student started to speak again. "And yes, I know that there is a difference in security. I get that. It will be more difficult for him to break out now. But, he wants it bad enough." She let out a shaky breath. "You didn't see his eyes. They were so dark and evil. I've never seen someone so determined to destroy their sister's happiness, to kill everything that she loved, to kill me."
Her body shook as she recalled staring into his empty eyes. "I can't forget those eyes. And even though I know he can't get out, I'm still scared that he will find a way."
O
"So, um, what did you want to talk about today, Brooke?" Emma asked.
Brooke felt uncomfortable talking to the councilor, but all of her friends seemed to be doing better ever since they started talking to her, so she figured she would give it a shot. "My girlfriend…Haley."
"Oh yeah!" She exclaimed with a bright smile. "I've seen the two of you around school! You look so happy together."
"We are." Brooke insisted with a dimpled grin.
"Then what is it that you needed to talk to me about?" Emma wondered. It wasn't often that people came into her office to talk about how happy they were with their girlfriends. Something had to be wrong.
She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it, before answering. "The other day…She got an amazing offer to make a record and go on tour."
"And this is a problem?"
Brooke shook her head adamantly. "No! It's wonderful! No one deserves this chance as much as she does. Her voice is so beautiful, and she deserves the chance to show it off to the world and be happy. But… I dunno, I guess it's selfish of me, but seeing her moving on with her life and making something great of herself made me realize that I have no plans. My life is going nowhere."
Emma did not say anything; she just waited for Brooke to continue.
"When I started dating Haley, my life and future plans just sort of started to revolve around her. I just never realized how close it was to school being over, and it scares the hell outta me." She sighed and furrowed her brow in frustration. "This place feels so safe to me. I know who I am and where I belong. I'm the head bitch in charge dating the sexy tutor, and I like that. I don't want that to change… I don't want to go into the real world."
"And why can't you still—um, still be the head bitch in charge dating the sexy rock star, after high school is over?"
"Because, I have no idea what I am good at." Brooke laughed at herself. "I mean what the hell am I gonna do after I graduate? Haley has an amazing voice, and y'know if that doesn't work out she can always fall back on being a freaking genius. I always just thought that I could use my money and buy my way into whatever school I wanted to go to. But, now I have no money and shitty grades, no school is gonna take me. Why in the world would Haley want to be with me?"
"Because she loves you, Brooke."
"Yeah… She does." Brooke muttered out in her raspy voice. "But, she deserves to be dating someone better than me."
"Brooke—"
"—No! It's true. I wasted so much time partying and skipping classes 'cause I never thought it would end, and now it is, and all I've got going for me is a job at a clothing store in the mall that I hate."
"Okay, we can work with this Brooke. What hobbies do you have? You could always build a career out of one of those." Emma offered with a smile.
"I kinda like designing clothes, but I just do it for fun. I don't have any professional training or anything." Her smile widened proudly as she recalled that Halloween was coming up soon. "I'm actually making mine and Haley's costumes for Halloween."
"Perhaps you should consider turning that hobby into a career?"
O
Brooke was sitting at one of the tables in Karen's Café, sipping away at her coffee and watching Haley clean some tables. She visited her at work often. It got boring when she was at home alone, and she missed her constantly, so she found herself there. Plus, she had plans for the two of them after Haley got off work.
"People are going to start to think that you are stalking me with how often you're here." The tutor laughed and threw the rag over her shoulder as she approached her girlfriend.
Brooke smirked deviously and raised a brow at Haley. "Is it really that weird that I love watching you work?"
"Yes, it is." She laughed.
The cheerleader reached out and placed her hands on Haley's hips, pulling her body between her thighs and staring up into her large brown eyes. "It's sexy."
"Oh, shush." A bright blush painted over her cheeks and down her neck as she looked away from playful hazel eyes. "There is nothing sexy about washing dishes and cleaning off tables."
"When anyone else does it, no, it's super gross. But, you make everything sexy Haley James, even everyday chores." She bit down on her bottom lip and waggled her brows.
Haley shook her head and laughed embarrassedly, before turning the situation around on Brooke. "Trust me; it is way more entertaining watching you do everyday chores." She shook her head at her girlfriend. "I still can't believe that you washed all of the floors by hand."
"How was I supposed to know what a mop was?" She whined. She had never done chores before, the maids always did them.
"It's common knowledge, Brooke."
Brooke stuck out her tongue at her. She had been teasing her for weeks now about not knowing what a mop was or how to use a vacuum. Haley slapped her shoulder playfully and then leant down kissing her gently on the lips.
"Mm…" Brooke grinned as the other woman pulled out of the kiss. Her hazel eyes landing on the piano beside her table. There were very few customers and she loved Haley's voice, so she said, "You should totally put on a private concert for me, babe."
"It is hardly private. There are still customers." She stated pointedly.
"There are two people all the way on the other side of the café." She whined, pulling on Haley's apron and pleading with her eyes. "Come on, Hales! I love your voice!"
Haley glanced around the café to see how many customers she had. Brooke was right. There were only a few people in the café, but it still terrified her to sing in front of them. She hated singing in front of an audience. Looking back at her girlfriend she witnessed the pout on her lips and she couldn't help but give in to her. "Fine." She groaned out.
"Yay!" Brooke exclaimed excitedly, her voice cracking as she clapped her hands.
Pulling away from the cheerleader, she put her notebook into the pocket of her apron and walked toward the piano. Brooke watched from the table as she took a seat at the piano and placed her fingers on the keys, shooting an insecure glance in her direction. Brooke smiled at her and nodded her head, telling her to start.
Taking in a breath, Haley stared down at the keys. Her fingers were shaking. And as she started to sing one of the songs that she had been working on, she prayed that no one else would hear her.
Brooke watched her girlfriend sing and she felt like she was in a trance. Her voice was so beautiful.
As the song came to an end, Brooke stood to her feet and clapped her hands, walking toward her. Leaning forward she placed a kiss on Haley's lips and hummed against them. "Mmm… I love that voice. My girlfriend is gonna be a rock star one day."
She blushed. "I don't know about that."
"Well, I do."
A voice shocked them both and they quickly turned to look at the woman that the voice belonged to. They both recognized her immediately as a famous rock star. She was one of Haley's favorite singers. "You are…" Haley started, but her voice died out.
"Mia Catalano. I know, aren't I awesome?" She laughed.
"Yes, you are. You're one of my all-time favorite singers. But, what would someone like you be doing in a place like this?"
"I've got a gig in town, and even rock stars need coffee." Mia shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I didn't expect to find the next badass rock star, though. That's just a bonus.
"Uh…I really don't know about that." Haley responded shyly. She felt like everyone gave her more credit than she deserved. She was intelligent and fairly attractive, but she was not a rock star. She didn't have the look, voice, or confidence.
"Well, I do. And I'm the rock star here, so you should definitely trust my expertise." She grinned, and looked Haley over. "What would you say if I asked you to do the backup vocals on my upcoming album?"
Haley was so shocked; she didn't know what to say. Her brown eyes were wide and her heart was racing in her chest. "Uh, I would say, one coffee coming up. On the house." She laughed and walked behind the counter in order to make the coffee. She did not take the time to think about her anxiety, she was too excited.
O
Rebekah watched the door to her room closely as she waited for Caroline to arrive. It was a little past two in the morning. Suddenly, the door creaked open and she smiled a little as she watched the other blonde make her way into the room that they practically shared at this point. She was once again holding her stuffed bear; her eyes were puffy from crying.
Sitting up a little, she lifted the covers up to allow her girlfriend to crawl into the bed and snuggled up with her.
"Another nightmare?" She already knew the answer to the question, but it had become sort of ritualistic to ask.
Caroline nodded. "Yeah…"
"Care to talk about it?" Rebekah wouldn't have normally asked that question. She knew that Caroline did not want to explain her nightmares to her, but after speaking with Emma she decided to give it another try. She might finally open up to her.
She wanted to talk about it. Chewing on her bottom lip, she curled her finger around the collar of Rebekah's tank-top and thought about Emma's words. "I want to talk about it… But, I don't want to upset you." She admitted.
Rebekah's blue eyes widened and she stared down at Caroline, catching her eyes in the darkness. "That is not the reason that you have been evading answering that question, is it? For my protection?"
She nodded sadly.
"Oh, sweetheart. I do not want you to bury your feelings for my benefit." She reached out and ran her fingers along Caroline's cheek, a small smile on her full lips. "I can handle it, whatever it is. I want to help. I want to be there for you."
"I just don't want you to blame yourself."
"Too late for that." Rebekah stated bluntly. When she realized that it had upset the woman she loved, she quickly apologized. "Sorry. It's just difficult not to blame myself. He is my brother and he hurt the woman I love." She furrowed her brow as tears filled her eyes and her lips quavered. "How do I live with knowing that I am the one who let him back into my life?"
"It isn't your fault, Bekah. It's his fault. You're supposed to be able to trust your family, that is all that you did. You trusted him." Caroline knew that she would blame herself and it killed her watching it happen right before her eyes.
"And I knew that I shouldn't."
"But, he's your family."
Rebekah pushed away her tears and growled out angrily, "I wish that he wasn't my family. I wish that I could have better protected you from him."
"You wish you could have better protected me?" Caroline asked disbelievingly. "You saved my life, Rebekah. You nearly died for me, for the second time now! I wish that I could have protected you! That's what my nightmares are about…" Her voice softened and she looked away from Rebekah's eyes. "Having to watch him hurt and kill you and not being able to stop it. I'm terrified that he'll get out somehow and that he'll hurt us."
"My brother is a clever bastard, but I doubt that even he can escape this time."
"I know he can't." The tears in her eyes were deceived by her laughter. "I just don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I love you so much, and I hate him for almost taking you away from me."
Rebekah sucked in her cheeks and pursed her full lips, her heart pounding painfully against her ribs. She needed to ask a question that she was scared to death to know the answer to. "You do not hate me, do you?"
"No! I could never hate you!" She sat up a little and kissed her. "I could never hate you." She whispered against her lips. "I love you too much."
They both smiled.
O
"How was that?" Haley asked nervously after the three of them listened to the recording with the backup vocals added in. She played with the bottom of her shirt as she waited for Mia to tell her that it was terrible, that she had been wrong about her, that she was nothing special.
Instead, she said. "That was freaking awesome!"
Brooke grinned from one ear to the other and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's waist, she was so proud of her.
"I don't know…" Haley muttered insecurely.
"Oh, come on Haley! You can't be so shy if you're gonna be recording your own album and going on tour with me!" Mia said.
"What?" The tutor's eyes widened in fear and she suddenly felt like she was going to faint. She couldn't go on tour in front of millions. There was no way.
"I guess I forgot to mention that." She laughed. "I was thinking that it'd be fun! I need a new partner in crime!"
"I'm not really interested in touring—"
"—She'd love to!" Brooke interrupted her quickly, turning to smirk at Haley. There was no way that she was going to allow her to turn down such a wonderful opportunity. Haley allowed her insecurity to get in the way of a lot of great things, and she was constantly pushing her to go after them.
"I would?"
"You would."
O
"It sounds like you were—um—on board with the whole idea, so why do you hate it so much?" Emma asked, looking across the office at Brooke with confused eyes. It didn't make sense. She pushed her to follow her dreams and now she was upset about it?
"I don't hate it, I love it." Brooke corrected. She truly was happy for Haley. "I mean, my girlfriend is going on tour with a famous rock star for Christ's sake! What's not to love about that?! I love that she is getting opportunities, I really do, I just…" Her voice trailed off and she chewed on her cheeks as she thought about how to explain what she was feeling. She felt so selfish.
The redhead looked over her face and it all suddenly clicked into place. "You don't want to lose her?"
"I don't want to lose her." Brooke whined. "She's just so talented, and smart, and perfect in every single way, and I don't have anything going for me. She's gonna be gone forever and I'll miss her like crazy! I'll go and visit her, sure, but it won't be the same. It won't be like it is now. I just feel like she's moving on with her life without me." Her voice cracked and tears filled her hazel eyes.
It was insane how she could go from excited to an emotional wreck in a matter of minutes. She couldn't help it. She was so excited for Haley, but so broken up about it.
"Well, maybe you should take this opportunity to find your own identity. To focus on yourself and your future. The two of you might need to take a break and focus on your futures—"
"—She is my future."
"I know that you uh—want her to be in your future, Brooke. And she still can be, but first you should focus on your future career and figuring out what you want—"
"—No, you don't understand. I want her." Brooke's tone of voice was completely serious and her hazel eyes were staring directly into brown. It almost scared the councilor. "She is my future. I don't want to spend it with anyone else… I even was going to…" She caught herself before she revealed her secret.
"You even were going to what, Brooke?"
"Never mind."
"You can tell me." Emma urged.
"I was… I was even going to ask her to marry me."
O
Authors Note:
Thank you all for being patient with me. I know that it has been awhile since I last updated, and I apologize. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews, and I hope that y'all enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter will have a lot of Quinn putting plans into action to win Rachel back, Baley drama, and Rebekoline cuteness! So, if y'all want me to update really fast leave me some encouraging reviews and I promise to do so!
Thank you all for reading! I love each and every one of you! Seriously, I know I say this every time, but you guys mean the world to me and you keep me writing!
-Tracy Cook